Advent Children: As Told By Yazoo

By Scitzo and Psycho

Disclaimer: Psycho: excited "I haven't been around for a while and may I say how wonderful it is to be back!" Scitzo: happy/scared "I don't think I want her around…she'll probably knaw on my arm when I'm not looking. By the way this story is a BIRTHDAY fic for my friend: Jessica (Psycho: SLYTHERIN RULES ) This is a LOT late but I hope you enjoy Yazoo in all his 'sexyness' (Psycho: ewww!) Sephiroth is better by the way. We do not own these charactors or brand names that pop up in this story. See ya!

--Please Revew!--

It all began when Loz told me he wanted to braid my hair.

Well, not really, but at some point in this whole "ordeal" he mentioned it…THREE TIMES!

One day Kadaj got it in his head that our 'stepbrother' knew where our mother was. Honestly, I think he flipped his lid. It was obvious that that bald headed chump and turkey-head knew more than they let on.

After scaring the living daylights out of our stepmother and stealing our life savings we realized we needed a 'mode of transportation.' When Kadaj brought home three motorcycles Loz and I had other opinions.

"But I wanted a tricycle!" Loz whined

"And couldn't you have splurged and gotten us Fenir models? You got us Hondas! Sexy men do not ride HONDAS! I Want a Fenir!"

"Too bad. There's a non trade-in clause in the contract and I'm not paying 3,000 gil so you can get a Fenir or so he can get a tricycle. Seriously Loz, a tricycle? Where would your tough-guy image go if someone saw you on one of those?"

Now that we had our mode of transportation, something crossed my mind, "Where will we find mother dearest anyway?"

"We will find our fowl-haired brother and he will find mother for us."

"Do you mean turkey-head or Chocobo-head?"

"Chocobo-head of course. He's mother's delinquent son."

"Is turkey-head even related to our cousins?" Loz wondered.

"He reminds me of a fire cracker with ADHD on speed."

"Who got drunk last night…" Loz added

"And set fire to baldy's pants."

"…That was funny." Loz laughed and I muttered, "Who cares anyhow?"

"To Midgar!" Kadaj shouted and ran into the closet.

"Uh, brother? The door is that way." I said.

"Right. I knew that. I just needed to get the camping gear."

"…what camping gear? We don't have camping gear."

"LOZ! I gave you money to get camping gear. What did you spend it on?" Kadaj shouted to our soft-hearted brother.

"I got mommy candy!"

… "You spent 300 gil on candy?"

"Mommy will be so proud of me!"

I muttered, "Mommy thinks you're a big dummy head."

Loz's eyes brimmed with tears, "Nuh uh! Mommy didn't say that! Tell him Kadaj! Mommy doesn't think I'm a big dummy head, does she?"

"Of course not…I don't get good reception from Mother in hear let's go outside so I can hear her better."

They exited and Kadaj said, "Loz, Mother says to wash your hair and too much candy will make you fat."

"Tell Mommy I said 'Hi!'"

Ugh. This would be a long, LONG trip. "Ugh, let's go to Midgar."