Post Series Finale.
I do not own anything that has anything to do with Instant Star.
Another summer day has come and gone away
Jude sat in her London apartment, blankly staring out of the third story window. It'd been one year since she had left Toronto, one year since she had seen her sister, one year since she had seen her best friends, one year since she had walked away from her childhood home, one year since she had ended her engagement with the love of her life, one year since she had said her final goodbye to Tommy Quincy, one year since her heart had been whole. She reached blindly for the bedside table she knew occupied the corner by her bed. She clasped her fingers around the small, cold, metal. She brought her fist to her mouth and softly kissed the object inside. It had been one year since she had worn the ring Tommy gave her, but it had only been a couple hours since she had looked at it last. She grabbed the chain from the table and quickly pulled the chain through the ring, and then she reached up to clasp the chain around her neck. When safely fastened around her neck, she softly fingered the ring that lay on her neck. She looked down at the piece of jewelry, and then returned her gaze to the window as she let a single tear fall down her cheek. She didn't allow herself to brush it away. She had waited too long to let this out, she needed some sort of release.
In Paris and Rome, but I wanna go home.
Since signing with the label in London, Jude had gone on a small tour, playing at a series of small clubs in countries she had only dreamt about. She loved the life she had here in London, but nothing would ever compare to her home, her real life, her real family and friends. She wanted to go home. Though she was thankful for the last year of opportunity, she wanted to forget everything that had happened, she wanted to wake up from this year- long dream and wake up in Toronto, with Tommy beside her, Jaime next door, Spied down the street, and Sadie downstairs. She'd made friends here in London, but she never went a day without wishing they were real, true, genuine friends, like the ones she knew she had at home.
May be surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone.
Oh, I miss you, you know?
She let her head fall into her hands and she allowed herself to let go of everything she had felt the last year. She sat there with her head in her hands as her body was racked with silent sobs. She cried as the familiar, yet not comforting sounds from the London streets traveled through her window and to her listening ears. She missed the comforting sounds of Toronto, she missed home.
Just wanna go home.
She had even kept in touch with everyone at home by an occasional phone call, numerous emails, and even a few letters. She suddenly popped her head up from her crying and quickly brushed her cheeks to rid them of the tears. She stood up and made it to her dresser. She opened her first drawer and pulled out a stack of letters; several from Sadie, a couple from Kwest, a few from Jaime, two or three from Spied with Karma's name beautifully written at the bottom along with his own, even one from Darius. She flipped through the pile to reach the one she must have re-read a thousand times. She finally reached it and she scanned her eyes over the familiar words once more;
Jude,
It's been seven months since you've left. I can't believe that this is the first letter that I'm actually sending. I've written hundreds, but I've never sent them, not a single one. Don't think that I have forgotten you, Jude. You are still my girl, always will be, no matter what happens in that pretty little blonde head of yours. I understand why you did what you did, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. There hasn't been a day gone by that you haven't been on my mind, Jude. You were, and still am the best thing that has ever happened to me. You made me realize that I could be loved for the person I was, and you, you Jude, made me into the man that I've become in the last five years. I meant what I said to you that day in the restaurant when I asked you to marry me, I'm here. I can be your anchor, and I can continue to be your anchor from anywhere that you happen to be in the world. You know why, Jude? You're my world, my everything, and you always will be Jude. I'm not going to pretend that you didn't hurt me when you left, because you did, but that's okay, because I know how many times I've hurt you in our relationship. But it had always been you, Jude, to hold us together, to hold onto the belief that everything would be okay, and that we would find our way back to one another. Now, it's my turn. I'm here Jude, You know where to find me, I won't leave, and I'm going to wait as long as it takes for you to realize that we belong together, just like you did all those times for me. I always came back to you Jude, and I'm not giving up hope that you'll come back to me. I know you've got to do what you've got to do, and I'm finally okay with that. I'm going to end this letter with just saying that I love you. Jude. I always have, ever since that day that the red-haired, feisty, punk-rock princess stepped into G-Major. You've still got me Jude, I'm not going anywhere.
I love you, girl.
Love always,
Tommy.
I've been keeping all of the letter that I wrote to you, each one a line or two, "I'm fine baby, how are you?"
She let the tears flow freely down her cheeks as she watched the drops land on the letter and her vision became cloudy. She had written so many letters to him, but she could never get herself to send them. They just never turned out right.
Well I would send them, but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that.
She wasn't quite sure how to reply to that letter especially. She tried, but the words just never seemed to mean as much when she had them written out on the paper. Even though Tommy had hurt her over and over again the last five years, she made the worst mistake. She left with no intention of returning. She left the life they could have made together because she felt that her music and her so called "adventures" would amount to more than a relationship with Tommy ever would. She was wrong, she knew that from the second she stepped into that limo, but she made herself believe she was making the right decision, and he allowed her because deep inside, he knew that she would come back to him, because that's who they were, they were Tommy and Jude.
Another airplane, another sunny place.
I'm lucky I know, but I wanna go home.
She dried the tears from her cheeks once more, and walked to her closet. She threw open the door and grabbed the large suitcase sitting on the floor. She set the suitcase on her still-made bed and began piling clothes into it. She knew what she had to do. She knew what she needed to do. She knew what she wanted to do.
I've got to go home.
Let me go home.
While she continued to throw clothes haphazardly into her suit case, she picked up her cell phone from the table and called for a flight. "Yes, I'd like to book a flight. Jude Harrison. London to Toronto, Canada. No, no that won't be necessary; it'll be a one way flight." She smiled into the receiver, "Thank you so much." As she hung up the phone, she allowed a sensation she hadn't felt in a long time envelope her, and she smiled.
I'm just to far from where you are, I wanna come home.
She flipped open her phone and dialed the familiar number to her childhood home. A man's voice answered, "Hello?" the voice asked groggily.
Jude's eyes furrowed in confusion, "Kwest?" She questioned.
The man's voice was lighter, softer this time, "Jude?"
She nodded, the realized that he couldn't see her across the ocean, "Yeah, it's me. What are you doing at home? Shouldn't you be at the studio?"
Kwest chuckled, "Jude, it's 3 a.m. at home. We were sleeping."
"Oh. I'm sorry that I woke you guys up. But I've got you on the phone already, so what's up? How is everyone?"
He smiled, "Jude. It's late, you didn't just call to catch up, what's on your mind?"
She sighed, "If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone." She took his silence to be a promise and she took a deep breath as she continued, "Kwest, I'm coming home."
I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right.
When she got off of the phone with Kwest, she fought herself from dialing another familiar, but she eventually gave in. She knew that it was three in the morning at home, but she couldn't help herself. It had been a year since she'd heard his voice, and right now she needed it more than ever, needed to know that she was doing the right thing. She dialed the number and closed her eyes as she listened to the rings. On the fourth ring, Tommy's tired voice answered the phone, "Hello?" he questioned. He had answered without looking at the caller id.
She smiled, "Hey Quincy."
He sighed a sigh of relief into the phone, "Jude."
"I'm sorry I called. I know that it's three in the morning there, I just needed to hear your voice, Tommy."
She could hear his smile, "It doesn't matter what time it is. You have no idea how many nights I've stayed up all night just wishing you would call. I miss you, Jude. I've never stopped."
"I know, I miss you too. How are you? Is anything new?"
He chuckled, "Already with the small talk Harrison? Well, surprisingly, Jaime and I came to somewhat of an understanding after you left, and I was just released from my contract with G-major. So as of yesterday, I'm a full time producer at NBR. My first day's tomorrow."
"Wow. Tommy that's," she was at a loss for words as she started to tear up. She sniffed and finished, "amazing. It really is."
Tommy picked up on this and asked, "Jude, you're crying. What's wrong? Did I say something?" he asked worried.
"No, not at all," she wiped her tear from her cheek and continued, "Tommy?"
His voice softened, "Yeah, girl?"
"Do you still have the CD I gave you, before you left for New Brunswick?"
"Of course I do, Jude. I listen to it everyday, just like you told me to back then."
She smiled, "Tommy, I have to go. I'm sorry I woke you up, I just needed to hear your voice."
He nodded to himself, "Okay, Jude. Goodnight." As he was about to hang up, she interrupted.
"Tommy?" She asked quietly, so that he almost didn't hear her.
"Yeah?" He whispered back
" I'm sorry I did what I did. I still love you." She closed her eyes as the silence on his line set in. She thought she'd ruined it, finally ruined everything.
"Don't be sorry. Like my letter said, I understand why you had to go. You know I'm here for you. Always. I love you too, Jude, I've never stopped."
"Night, Tommy."
"Goodnight Jude." She flipper her phone shut and crawled into her bed. She pulled the covers up and over her body and allowed herself to slip into a restful sleep.
And I know just why you could not come along with me.
This was not your dream, but you always believed in me.
The morning sunlight broke through her bedroom window, and she leapt up from her place, ready to start another chapter in her life. She was ready, ready to settle down and make a life with the one man that she would always love, no matter what they did to hurt one another. She just hoped that he allowed her to.
Another winter day has come and gone away
In even Paris and Rome, and I wanna go home.
Let me go home.
She spent the next coupe hours tying up all of her loose ends here in London and getting everything taken care of before she boarded her one- way flight to Toronto. As she walked through the crowded London airport, she looked around at all of the unfamiliar faces and let herself smile, she was going home.
And I'm surrounded by a million people
I still feel all alone.
She found her seat on the plane, and she sat down with her song notebook. She opened it up and allowed all of her thoughts that were racing through her head to flow onto the notebook paper. She smiled as the words formed into a beautiful set of lyrics.
Let me go home.
Oh, I miss you, you know?
She felt her heart racing as her plane landed in Toronto. After awhile, she stepped out onto the familiar Toronto streets, and breathed in the familiar Toronto air. She never realized how much she relied on the familiar, she missed her life here. She put her hand in the air and hailed a taxi. As she made herself comfortable on the leather seat she recited Tommy's address to the taxi driver, and she smiled as she looked out the window and the passing scenery.
Let me go home.
She felt her heart race as the taxi stopped in front of an all too familiar house. She opened the door and slowly got out. It was nine at night at home, surely he was here, right? She allowed herself to take a deep breath before she retrieved her bags out of the trunk. She closed it quietly, paid the driver, and thanked him with a smile.
I've had my run
She watched as the taxi drove away. It was now or never. She looked up at the house standing in front of her, and she hesitantly took a step towards it.
Baby I'm done.
She continued the walk to the front step, a walk that seemed to go on for years. She still felt her heart racing inside of her chest. She could feel the thousands of different thoughts and scenarios running through her head. She reached the front porch and stood there, just staring.
I gotta go home, let me come home.
She raised her hand to knock on the door. She waited for what seemed like hours until she heard the soft footsteps moving towards the door, and a familiar voice, "Just a second!" She was paralyzed as she stood, waiting at the door. Suddenly, the door flew open, and there he was. He was just like she remembered, just like in her dreams that she'd been having for the past year. He stood there, staring at her, trying to figure out what was going on. She looked up at him, hope etched in all of her features. She watched him closely for some sort of sign. She waited, that's all she could do. All of a sudden, Tommy's face broke out into a huge grin. He opened his arms and picked her up into a hug. He buried his head into her now long, blonde locks of hair. She smiled into his neck, and inhaled the scent that was only Tommy.
It'll all be alright.
He pulled away from the hug and drew her body as close to his as possible. He held his forehead to hers, just like he always had done. Then she felt the overwhelming sensation of Tommy's lips on her own. She breathed a sigh of relief. They pulled away from the kiss and stared into each other's eyes.
I'll be home tonight.
She smiled up at him, "I'm so sorry, Tommy. I should have never left the way I did. I should have stayed with you, where I belong." She told him as the tears started to roll down her cheeks.
He smiled at her and brushed the tears away with his thumbs, "I should have never let you."
"I love you Tommy, I never stopped."
He nodded, "I know, girl, I know. I love you, too."
I'm coming back home.