Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men and any characters not associated with
Marvel comics are of my own creation. with a little help from my friends.
Special thanx goes out to my bud Zero for getting' me hooked on fanfic! B/T/W she's the co-author aka "Jennie". Don' cha jus' wish u were Gambit's femme?
Also, I LOVE PYRO!!! *hides from other Pyro-maniacs*
(get the joke?)
*************************************************************
Chapter One
Pyro's at it again
The Acolyte base was in its usual state: complete and utter chaos. Gambit was in his room watching the carnage through the keyhole in his door, Sabertooth was out reeking havoc on some small village, Colossus was reading a book on a bench outside, and Pyro was conducting his own fire elemental orchestra to one of Gambit's Songs of the South CDs.
As Jennie made her way up the driveway, she stopped and noticed that smoke was spewing out of every window.
"Oh, no. Pyro's at it again," she muttered to herself as she started walking again. She spotted Colossus on the patio. "Hey, Tin-Grin," she smirked, "too afraid to go inside?"
"Gambit hasn't come out of his room in two hours," Colossus muttered, not looking up from his book. "I just hope he isn't as crisp as the sofa was when I left."
"Eeg. That bad, huh?" Jennie carefully opened the door, slipping past Pyro as the string section hit a crescendo and was promptly pulled into Gambit's room.
"Bon Dieu, cherie! You got a death wish?!" he whispered to her.
"What's your problem?" She glared at him. "You forget what I specialize in? I'm a human fire extinguisher for cryin' out loud!"
"Oh, yeah." Gambit ran his fingers through his hair. "We were waitin' for you ta get back. Go out there and kill the concerto, eh, chère?"
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine. This is the only reason you hooked up with me, isn't it? To solve your Pyro-problems?"
"No, chère!" he smirked. "That's just a bonus."
"Oh, gee thanks. I love you, too," she said, the sarcasm cutting like a knife. She opened the door and prepared to blast Pyro. "Hey, fire starter! You're washed up as a conductor!"
"What?" Pyro turned just in time to see a huge tidal wave coming at him.
* * *
Meanwhile on the other side of town, the X-Men were having a few problems of their own.
"Kitty! You're NEVER cooking again!" Kurt yelled in between dry heaves.
* * *
Back at the base, Pyro sat Indian-style on the floor trying in vain to light his beloved Zippo. After about four unsuccessful attempts, he began to whimper and pout.
At this point in time, Gambit deemed the situation safe and emerged from his room. He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms and legs. "Settle down, mon ami, you're makin' a bigger puddle than she did."
"Me Zippo won't light." Pyro muttered.
Colossus turned his head to look through the sliding glass door. Upon seeing Pyro in a puddle of water, he smiled and turned back to his book.
"I'm gonna 'ave to go get meself a new piece o' flint," Pyro stated to no one in particular.
"Good luck," Gambit muttered, "considerin' it's about midnight and da only store open is da 7 Eleven."
"So?" Pyro asked. "What's the big deal?"
"The last time you drove the car, you blew it up," Jennie reminded him. "And the 7 Eleven's about twenty miles away."
"This ain't fair." Pyro whimpered. "Why can't I just 'ave meself a little bit o' fun?"
"Because you're only happy when t'ings are combustin'," Gambit said.
"And besides," Jennie added, "the people at Couches R Us are sick of seeing us."
"Like I said," Pyro debated, "what's the big deal? Go to another furniture store."
"You just don't get it, do you, John?" Jennie said.
"Get what?" Pyro asked, genuinely confused.
"I rest my case," Jennie said, exasperated.
Pyro looked to Gambit for help.
"What da femme means," Gambit offered, "is get some new hobbies. You're drivin' us nuts! Every time we turn 'round, somet'in's on fire!"
"But that's what I do," Pyro stressed.
"Well, then, do it AWAY from my Orlando Bloom pictures!" Jennie yelled angrily. Gambit jealously elbowed her in the side. "Oh, and I suppose those Hustler magazines under your mattress got there all by themselves, eh?"
Gambit turned a bright shade of pink.
"Well, actually," Pyro said, raising a finger, "they're not unda his mattress anymore."
Gambit's shade of pink turned to an angry shade of purple. For fear of being permanently washed away, he remained calm. "You didn't burn them, did you?"
"What d'ya think I did with 'em, mate?" Pyro winked.
Gambit nodded in understanding. "You can keep 'em."
Pyro sat in silence for a while. Suddenly, he stood up and wrung out his hoodie. "Fine, then. If you blokes won't 'elp me, I'll just 'ave to nurse poor Sheila here back to health on me own."
He walked out the door in search of the nearest 7 Eleven.
Special thanx goes out to my bud Zero for getting' me hooked on fanfic! B/T/W she's the co-author aka "Jennie". Don' cha jus' wish u were Gambit's femme?
Also, I LOVE PYRO!!! *hides from other Pyro-maniacs*
(get the joke?)
*************************************************************
Chapter One
Pyro's at it again
The Acolyte base was in its usual state: complete and utter chaos. Gambit was in his room watching the carnage through the keyhole in his door, Sabertooth was out reeking havoc on some small village, Colossus was reading a book on a bench outside, and Pyro was conducting his own fire elemental orchestra to one of Gambit's Songs of the South CDs.
As Jennie made her way up the driveway, she stopped and noticed that smoke was spewing out of every window.
"Oh, no. Pyro's at it again," she muttered to herself as she started walking again. She spotted Colossus on the patio. "Hey, Tin-Grin," she smirked, "too afraid to go inside?"
"Gambit hasn't come out of his room in two hours," Colossus muttered, not looking up from his book. "I just hope he isn't as crisp as the sofa was when I left."
"Eeg. That bad, huh?" Jennie carefully opened the door, slipping past Pyro as the string section hit a crescendo and was promptly pulled into Gambit's room.
"Bon Dieu, cherie! You got a death wish?!" he whispered to her.
"What's your problem?" She glared at him. "You forget what I specialize in? I'm a human fire extinguisher for cryin' out loud!"
"Oh, yeah." Gambit ran his fingers through his hair. "We were waitin' for you ta get back. Go out there and kill the concerto, eh, chère?"
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine. This is the only reason you hooked up with me, isn't it? To solve your Pyro-problems?"
"No, chère!" he smirked. "That's just a bonus."
"Oh, gee thanks. I love you, too," she said, the sarcasm cutting like a knife. She opened the door and prepared to blast Pyro. "Hey, fire starter! You're washed up as a conductor!"
"What?" Pyro turned just in time to see a huge tidal wave coming at him.
* * *
Meanwhile on the other side of town, the X-Men were having a few problems of their own.
"Kitty! You're NEVER cooking again!" Kurt yelled in between dry heaves.
* * *
Back at the base, Pyro sat Indian-style on the floor trying in vain to light his beloved Zippo. After about four unsuccessful attempts, he began to whimper and pout.
At this point in time, Gambit deemed the situation safe and emerged from his room. He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms and legs. "Settle down, mon ami, you're makin' a bigger puddle than she did."
"Me Zippo won't light." Pyro muttered.
Colossus turned his head to look through the sliding glass door. Upon seeing Pyro in a puddle of water, he smiled and turned back to his book.
"I'm gonna 'ave to go get meself a new piece o' flint," Pyro stated to no one in particular.
"Good luck," Gambit muttered, "considerin' it's about midnight and da only store open is da 7 Eleven."
"So?" Pyro asked. "What's the big deal?"
"The last time you drove the car, you blew it up," Jennie reminded him. "And the 7 Eleven's about twenty miles away."
"This ain't fair." Pyro whimpered. "Why can't I just 'ave meself a little bit o' fun?"
"Because you're only happy when t'ings are combustin'," Gambit said.
"And besides," Jennie added, "the people at Couches R Us are sick of seeing us."
"Like I said," Pyro debated, "what's the big deal? Go to another furniture store."
"You just don't get it, do you, John?" Jennie said.
"Get what?" Pyro asked, genuinely confused.
"I rest my case," Jennie said, exasperated.
Pyro looked to Gambit for help.
"What da femme means," Gambit offered, "is get some new hobbies. You're drivin' us nuts! Every time we turn 'round, somet'in's on fire!"
"But that's what I do," Pyro stressed.
"Well, then, do it AWAY from my Orlando Bloom pictures!" Jennie yelled angrily. Gambit jealously elbowed her in the side. "Oh, and I suppose those Hustler magazines under your mattress got there all by themselves, eh?"
Gambit turned a bright shade of pink.
"Well, actually," Pyro said, raising a finger, "they're not unda his mattress anymore."
Gambit's shade of pink turned to an angry shade of purple. For fear of being permanently washed away, he remained calm. "You didn't burn them, did you?"
"What d'ya think I did with 'em, mate?" Pyro winked.
Gambit nodded in understanding. "You can keep 'em."
Pyro sat in silence for a while. Suddenly, he stood up and wrung out his hoodie. "Fine, then. If you blokes won't 'elp me, I'll just 'ave to nurse poor Sheila here back to health on me own."
He walked out the door in search of the nearest 7 Eleven.