A Very belated Tag to EOS. I don't own the boys - just like to read (and try to write) stories about them!
All the property of Gerry Anderson!

"Just hold on, John!"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt useless. I moved to reach out and touch the image that was in front of me, remembering too late that John wouldn't be able to feel my reassuring touch. Even through the holographic image, Johns pale cheeks looked flushed and I could see his blonde hair on his forehead held in place by a sheen of sweat.

The gasps from the rest of my family bought me back to earth. It reminded me that they looked to me for direction and the constant reminder that I was the rock of the family put its weight on me. If I was confident, they all would be too.

"Alan will be there shortly", I said it aloud, although the words were spoken to convince myself more than anyone else. Virgil nodded his head in my direction, a tight smile on his face - but i could tell he didn't believe me. I turned my attention back to Johns image and watched as his eyes closed fully, "He'll be fine! We'll get to him. Alan will get to him."

The silence was deafening. The lack of response from John was severely discomfiting and I hated to see John like this. As much as my family looked to me to keep us together, it was John that was the true rock of the family. The listener, the soother... the one who kept vigil over us all constantly. He was the voice of International Rescue... hell, he was the voice of this family. I couldn't stop my mind thinking about what we would do without him. Although I tried to shake the feeling, I couldn't be positive about the situation. How can you be when space is so far away?

But then, space is just where John wanted to be. The thing with immediate younger brother is that he was always better off on his own. He didn't speak much about himself, or how he was feeling, and space was his best company. But that never made him silent; he always had something to say about the events that happened around him.
Ever since our father disappeared, he'd insisted on staying up on Thunderbird 5 in the search for him. I'd know that it wasn't healthy, but nothing could change his mind. He felt guilty that he'd lost track of our fathers aircraft. He felt guilt that he couldn't return our father to the island. He felt guilt because he thought it was his fault.

Guilt - too easy an emotion to consume.

And now one of the emotions I was overcome with was that of guilt.
When I spoke to my brother earlier, how did I not recognise that it was an impostor? I should have known that was not John - but I didn't. I couldn't tell. Had all our time apart really made my brother unrecognisable to me? I suddenly yearned to be in contact with him. To hold him as I did when I was younger and reassure him that everything was going to be OK.

My eyes glanced up to the hologram again. John's eyes where still closed. "Just hold on, John!".
I looked over to Gordon wanting to give him a reassuring smile. Instead, my eyes fell on his hands that had curled into fists at his sides. I could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. Grandma looked as though she was being held in place by Virgil's strong hands, and Brains; well he had gone silent not taking his eyes from the prone figure.

I dropped my eyes to the floor and bought my hand up to my mouth. It was an action that had been associated with me when my worry was beyond control - and boy, it was well out of control now.

A loud intake of breath bought me back to the control room and the sound of John's voice was music to my ears. "Thanks Alan, I was really sweating towards the end there."

"I noticed". I heard my little brother say, relief apparent in his voice.
This only extended my guilt further - I shouldn't have let my youngest brother go up to face this alone. What if... I dropped my hand from my mouth and sighed in relief. Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself before squaring my shoulders and grounding myself for my family again.

John was fine. As if to reassure me further his holographic image - the real John's image - appeared in front of me.

"I knew you guys would work it out. Let me bring you up to speed!"

At that point I had no time to stop and think. I had to tell him about the unanswered calls, and leave him and Alan to try to resolve the situation. "John, you know what has to be done if you can't isolate this."
Saying that out loud to my brother only reminded me that he was still in real danger - he'd be putting his life on the line again and he was too far away from me to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder, instead I had to prompt his response. "John?"

"FAB."

The channel closed quickly and I dropped my head again. My mind was in turmoil.

I know that I had to focus on the unanswered rescue calls before considering helping my brother; where was the logic in that?

Ordering Virgil and Gordon to Thunderbird Two was easy; I was always prepared to do that. Hearing Alan question what would have to happen to Thunderbird Five I was unprepared for. I had to push right to the back of my mind that if... if... John failed I wouldn't get that chance I longed for to see my brother, have a beer with him; let him know that although it has been a long time since I saw him in person, that I love him and miss him every day.

The images of John and Alan disappeared. I didn't envy my immediate younger brother telling our youngest exactly what was happening, and what might have to happen... with him on boar Thunderbird Five.
I shook the thought of John failing from my mind and moved on with my job.

TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB

My mid was reeling. What the hell was my brother doing putting his life in the hands of... that machine? The silence over the radio was too much to bear, but I didn't dare be the one to break it. I knew that all my brothers were listening intently and waiting to see what happened.

There I was again. Waiting... not able to get up there and directly help my brother. In a slight burst of anger I told myself if John got through this I would kill him myself for being such an idiot. And then almost immediately the guilt was back. Why had I insisted on staying on earth and sending Alan up there. I should have gone myself. At least then I could be in Johns position. I could protect my little brother, make sure he had the chance to be on earth again with his family.

I bought my hand to my mouth again, but this time it was to stifle a sob going out over the radio. The last thing I needed was to break down in front of my brothers.

"I'm relinquishing control back to you." the words of the AI were music to my ears and I felt the edges of a smile on my face.

"I don't want control EOS. I want a friend." My brother when he spoke conveyed such raw emotion. Not something that we got to see all the time. His words were said with such, that I couldn't stop the afore mentioned guilt from seeping back into my bones.

Sighing internally knowing that John would be fine I concentrated on getting my 'bird back to Tracy Island. I wanted nothing more than to speak with my brother again. Not work related, not about the events of today - other than to make sure the lack of air and gravity hadn't done any real damage - but as a brother; as a reminder that I am and always will be his friend no matter how far away his is.

I know that Johns a big boy, and I know that he can cope up there without me. But today, I realised I couldn't stand to be without him.