A/N: For suburb's Pure Horace Mantis Community Challenge - Week/Challenge 6. Thanks for the challenge suburbs; this one gave me an interesting chance to explore how I wanted to write my JONAS characters. And, despite the title, it is not supposed to be based off the Demi Lovato song. I haven't posted anything in a while, but I have so many things that are nearly finished. I'm going to try to finish most of them up before I leave for my New Year's Eve trip so hopefully I'll be posting more soon.
Disclaimer: I don't own JONAS or anything related to the show.
"So hold on another day cause love is on its way. You'll find it's gonna be okay cause love is on its way" - Love is on its Way
Nick couldn't understand why this always happened to him. He'd fall in love so fast and lose all control. Then he'd come tumbling back down with a crash. He couldn't understand why the girls never loved him back - or why they didn't even really like him back. He didn't want someone who would like him just because he was famous, but he thought the fact would have helped his chances along the way. And then days like today happen. Krista – charming, pretty, funny Krista – failed to meet up with him by the atrium like they planned. That was okay though, Krista had a lot of friends so maybe she just got caught up in something. Then he walked into lunch that afternoon and saw her snuggling up to some other guy and he felt the all too familiar tightening in his chest. He went to his lunch table pretending nothing had happened, but as soon as he locked eyes with Kevin and saw the sympathy he made his excuses, not ready to talk about it - especially with Stella and Macy present.
He's not sure why it surprised him to hear the faint footsteps following him down the hall, but they weren't what he expected. Maybe it was because instead of two heavy sets of footfalls he only heard one light set. Maybe it was because he thought only his brothers were brave enough in regards to him to follow when he wanted to be alone. Either way, when he glanced over his shoulder and saw Macy was the one walking casually behind him he felt angry. He picked up his pace, making the solitude of his steps more definite. He wanted to be alone. Why was it so hard to just let him be?
Just when he'd had enough of her and was near ready to snap a grumpy warning at her the most astonishing thing happened - he stopped hearing her footsteps. Instead he heard the thud as the girl's bathroom door shut behind her. That's when he went from angry and grumpy to simply furious. She wasn't even going to check on him? Didn't she care what was wrong with him? He thought she wasn't being a very good friend or fan. Stalking back to the bathroom door, he leaned against the wall and waited for her to exit.
To say she looked surprised when she spotted him glowering at her upon leaving the bathroom was an understatement. "Nick?" she asked, caught off guard. "What are you doing here?"
"Why aren't you coming to check up on me?" he demanded.
She looked over her shoulder nervously, clearly not understanding what was going on. "I-I had to use the restrooms."
"So my being upset doesn't even matter to you?"
"Of course it matters to me," she glared at him. "You said you wanted to be alone though."
"Who ever leaves someone alone when they say that?" he snapped. "Joe and Kevin usually never leave me alone."
"It's hard to tell when you do or don't mean what you say," she defended quietly. "I thought you really wanted to be left alone."
"Then what did you follow me for?"
She bit her lip and looked at the door behind her again. "I just had to use the bathroom."
In his mind, Nick registered that he was being completely and uncharacteristically irrational. First of all he was nearly screaming, which even in the worse situations he didn't do. At most he'd talk in a clipped, tense voice. Then there was the fact he was leaning into Macy in a way that could be considered very unfriendly and threatening, but he hoped she knew that a threat was not his intentions. She may not have judging by the look of apprehension on her face, but he had to trust that her faith in all things JONAS would apply to the fact that he would not hurt her, despite the image he was projecting. Because for some reason he couldn't calm down and he couldn't back off.
"And the bathroom was just conveniently the same way I'd gone?" He realized his words were ridiculous. Of course the bathroom was that way. It wasn't her fault for the way the school was constructed. As the next words flew out of his mouth he started to understand his reaction – he wanted her to be checking up on him. "If you're going to follow me I think the very least you can do is own up to it!"
"Nick!"
He heard the shocked voice from behind him and froze. He watched Macy's eyes dart over his shoulder and back to lock with his. He saw the relief briefly flash through her eyes before he shut his tight, trying to get a hold of his senses. He knew the body that went with the voice behind him and wished he didn't. He wished that it wasn't one of his brothers catching him in this position, but someone he didn't know instead. He wished that it was someone who wouldn't be disappointed at his complete loss of sanity in this situation - someone who would almost expect such a reaction out of him. Instead he got Kevin and Joe.
"What are you doing?" Joe asked incredulously, pulling on his arm so he wasn't facing Macy anymore.
"Nothing," he muttered, shrugging his arm out of Joe's grasp.
"If that was nothing I don't want to see something," Kevin shook his head, looking completely awed at what he had seen. He looked around Nick to the girl still standing so uncomfortably. "You okay Macy?"
She nodded and mumbled, "I'm fine."
"Let's go back to the cafeteria. Stella's waiting for you to get back."
Kevin held out a hand to her and Nick glared at it. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Macy look from him to his brother's hand and back. She locked eyes with him again briefly before reaching out and accepting his hand, allowing herself to be lead away. Nick wanted to throw himself in rush hour traffic he was so disgusted with himself. Macy Misa, JONAS mega fan and friend, was afraid to be around him right now. He was at an all time low.
"And now I repeat," Joe spoke up once they were out of sight, "what are you doing?"
"Forget it," he gritted out, shaking his head a little for emphasis.
"I mean, we figured we'd give you time to get to the music room and do the whole brotherly pep talk thing there," Joe went on. "Imagine our surprise to see you backing Macy in to a wall. Yelling at her." There was a sharp tone to Joe's voice that told Nick he wasn't really saying what he wanted. Nick remained silent, waiting for the inevitable. Joe didn't disappoint. "We know you're upset, but taking it out on Macy is unacceptable – especially in such an angry fashion. Macy is our friend. It's not right to disrespect her friendship because you're a little heartbroken." Joe paused and shook his head, looking at Nick with wonder in his eyes. "What were you thinking Nick? Did you see the look on her face? Because I did."
Nick winced. He had seen her face. The image would probably be burned in his memory for the rest of his life. He knew she was getting nervous and most likely a little frightened - he was so out of character that she probably had no idea what he'd do next. He could tell by the way her eyes had darted around she had wanted to be anywhere but here with him. Despite registering those things in his mind he wasn't able to just back off. Did he want her to think he would hurt her or ever do her any intentional harm? Never. Did he like knowing he was scaring a friend? Not for one second. He would never understand why he couldn't calm down.
"Aren't you even going to try to explain yourself?" Joe gawked at his silence. Nick didn't even get a chance to answer – not that he would have – before he heard the rapid click of heels growing closer.
"Nicholas Lucas!" Stella snapped the second her eyes landed on him. "You better get on your knees and beg for that girl's forgiveness or so help me-"
"Stella!" Macy interrupted, rounding the corner and stopping beside her friend. Kevin was only a step behind and Nick was starting to think he should have just stayed at the stupid lunch table in the first place. He could have avoided this whole mess he'd gotten himself in to.
"I'll handle this Mace," Stella said to Macy in a drastically different voice than she'd used for Nick.
"Don't Stella," Macy said back softly. "Let me talk to Nick and work it out myself okay?"
"Not happening," Stella scoffed. Nick was sure his soul was being crushed along with his already broken heart. Without a word he turned and stalked away. Sure, Kevin had been quick to remove Macy from his presence and Joe was confused and angry, but Stella wouldn't even leave her alone with him now. She didn't have enough faith in him not to do something stupid.
Before he knew it he was out the front doors of the school and on his way to the parking lot. He had to get away from them. He had to figure something out. He reached the edge of the parking lot and paused before his feet hit the paved surface. Was he really doing this? Was he about to skip the rest of the day at school? He didn't have to make a decision as he heard his name being called behind him.
"Nick! Wait up a minute Nick!" He sighed. Did Macy really have to follow him out here? He just lifted his foot to keep going when she reached him. "Don't Nick! Let's talk."
"I need to go think Macy," he said without looking at her. "Can you please let go of my arm?"
"No," she said simply. "You can hear what I have to say before you go do your thinking."
"No offense, but I really don't want to hear it," he said, his voice almost pleading. "I think the look on your face said it all."
"You're not even looking at my face," she pointed out.
"I don't need to," he shook his head. "I saw it..."
"Look at me," she ordered. He was reluctant to, but she tugged him so he was turned to face her and before he knew it his eyes were on her face. She looked sad and confused, but no longer nervous. He shut his eyes and shook his head, trying to tug his arm free. He didn't like a Macy that wasn't smiley and happy - it almost seemed unnatural since she was generally always in such a cheery mood. And it was worse because he only had himself to blame.
"Now listen," she told him. He nodded, keeping his eyes shut and concentrating on her voice. "I don't care what everyone else thinks just happened. I don't care what they think I was feeling. I will tell you right now that I am not, nor have I ever been, afraid of you Nick. I'm not stupid enough to think you'd ever hurt me – or anyone really." Nick felt a rush of satisfaction. She did have faith in him after all. "I was just nervous," she went on. "I had no idea what I was supposed to say. I can offer Stella endless comfort when Joe does something stupid, but I don't know what to do to comfort you. I was trying to think of anything I could do or say to help," she admitted, blushing lightly, "but with you so close my mind was kind of jumbled."
"Macy," he sighed, finally opening his eyes. "I appreciate you wanting to help, but I really just need to think through my actions. I just want to be alone."
"That's what you say," she huffed. "And then I'll leave and you'll get all "I can't believe you left me alone" and be mad at me."
"I don't talk like that," he muttered.
"Nick," she sighed. "Forget about what happened. Let's just move on. How are you holding up about Krista? I mean, it's not like she even deserves you if she'd so easily blow you off like that, but you liked her so who am I to judge."
He blinked in surprise – he'd forgotten all about Krista with everything else going on. It was all coming back to him now though. Another crush. Another heartbreak. Another sad song to come. He wasn't sure if he should hate himself more for the fact that only his anger had allowed him to forget about it or thank Macy for being the trigger to forgetting. It didn't really matter though. Either way the forgetting was done because all he could see now was Krista laughing on another guys' arm. It was the same thing that always happened. He was a good guy. He was smart, talented, a gentlemen and would do anything for someone he liked. And, not that he was conceited or anything, but he thought he was pretty decent looking – and he knew a lot of people would agree. So what was it that these girls just didn't like? He sighed and Macy tentatively placed a hand on his arm.
"That bad?" she asked.
"I just don't get it," he told her honestly. "Why don't they ever like me back?"
"You just don't like the right girls Nick," Macy said slowly. "You like the wrong ones and you like them too much."
"I can't help it," he told her dejectedly.
"I know you can't help it. That's just the way you are, but you need to try to slow it down." She took her hand off of his arm and sat on the grass lining the parking lot, gesturing for him to join her. He hesitated a moment before sitting beside her and she continued. "Kevin and I were talking a couple of weeks ago. We think you'd have better luck if-"
"Wait, you were talking about me and my dating life?" he asked for clarification. She nodded and he glared lightly at her.
"We started out talking about Joe and Stella and somehow it evolved into you," she shrugged, making it clear she didn't find it a big deal. "But as I was saying, we think you'd have better luck if you gave other girls chances. You're a love at first sight kind of guy, you know?" He nodded, well aware of the fact. "That's not good though because then you're falling in love with an image. Or I guess the better way to describe it is you're falling in love with a stereotype. You're seeing a girl and thinking she looks like she'd be… And then you find positives and concentrate on those and ignore everything else."
He wished he could argue back – say that wasn't how it was at all – but the truth was that that's exactly how things were. He didn't want to discuss his horrendous dating habits so he asked a question he hoped would both change the subject and help him. "How am I supposed to give other girls chances? Just start asking out random girls and see how it goes?"
"Yes, Nick," she rolled her eyes, "please start asking out every girl you see – that won't be a disaster or anything."
Despite his mood, he felt his lips pulling up in amusement. "Well what do you suggest then?"
"Just take it slow and look around you," she told him. "There are plenty of girls in this school who actually like you. And a good number who like you for more reasons than your fame. There are great girls here Nick. You just need to give them a try."
He was silent for a moment, taking her suggestion in. "But how am I supposed to know if they like me or not?" he asked. "I mean, I thought Krista liked me and clearly she didn't."
"You'll just know," she shrugged. "And if you get it wrong again that's okay. You'll always have your brothers, Stella and me to help you out. You'll just have to remember to wait for another chance on another day."
"Why keep trying is I just keep failing?" he challenged.
She laughed. "Don't even entertain that idea. We both know Nick Lucas is not a quitter." She paused, turning serious again. "I'm not saying you should run right back in those doors and start looking for a new girl. Take your time. Get over this one."
"I don't know how long that will take," he warned.
"Just hang in there," she smiled at him. 'If there is one thing above all else that I truly believe, it's the fact that love is on its way for every person. Some just find it earlier than others."
Nick thought over her words. Love is on its way for every person. He believed it too. He believed that everyone would find their own sort of love. He just didn't like having to wait for his - he liked the feeling of being in love. It was then that he remembered one very important thing. Love is patient. He needed to be patient and stop rushing into it. It would be hard - rushing was the way he did things, he couldn't help it - but he'd try. He'd try his hardest to make a change to it.
"Okay," he said slowly. "I'll take your advice."
She beamed, cheerily telling him, "I guess I'm not that bad at helping you out after all."
"No," he smiled back. "Not bad at all. And thank you."
"You're welcome," she said. "Just make sure next time you need help you ask. We don't want a repeat of today."
"That won't happen again," he promised. "I just couldn't help it. I really tried to back off."
"I believe you," she said simply. "I could see in your eyes you were just as confused as I was."
"I kind of felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff," he explained. "I know jumping is a bad idea, but my body took the leap anyway."
"That's okay," she smiled at his description. "Just don't forget that you have your friends. We'll be there to catch you on the way down."
A/N: I've been working on this since October, but the ending just never seemed right. Hopefully you all enjoyed the one I decided on. Sorry if you found Nick too out of character. The image popped in my head of him backing her into a wall and I couldn't help but write about it. Thanks for reading!