A/N: I know it's a couple of months until Halloween but after watching a Halloween Simpsons tonight I got inspiration to write this – wait! Me and Steph wrote this.


There should only really be another chapter after this, we hope you enjoy

Disclaimers: The mighty boosh and all affiliated characters belong to Julian, Noel and BB3. Me nor Steph own none of this, we just like to mess around with the characters.

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Vince danced around the living quarters of the flat, 'thriller' by Michael Jackson was playing through the radio and he was hanging plastic skellingtons on the ceiling and applying fake cobwebs in every corner of the room, the fireplace being the main victim. Various bowls of sweets had made residence on tables, shelves and even on top of the dishwasher and in the corner of the kitchen a big black builder's bucket housing about three whole bags of apples – it was Halloween, and Vince Noir was celebrating.

The sun was setting gently outside allowing night time to take its place, young children had already started their rounds of the neighbouring houses, performing their 'trick or treat' antics. Vince hung the last of the cobwebs and started on plastic creepy crawlies and bats; he buried one in a bowl of popcorn on the table and spread a few small ones over the various shelves and units.

The last was placed on the back of the sofa, scaring anyone who sat there and caught a glimpse of it in the corner of their eye, admiring his work he smiled; welcome to the house/flat of horrors. He ran to his bedroom, grabbing a tube of white face paints as he went.

The outfit for the night laid spread out neatly on his bed, tight black leather jeans, a red shirt and black cape complete with some black pointed toe boots. He flicked on his straighteners and set to work on his make up as they heated up, he spread the white face paint over his sharp features and down his neck not showing any flesh colour, after he'd coated his skin he set to work on his hair separating the short layers from the long stands with an elasticated bobble.

He pulled at the small strands, plastering them up with 'Goth gel; the gunkier way to use Goth Juice' his hair stuck up, jagged spikes protruding out his head, he straightened the looser long bits falling to his shoulders and smiled, shoving fangs over the glistening teeth, he placed the hot plates down and reached for his eyeliner pot and brush, unscrewing the cap and applying some of the black gel to the applicator brush.

Gently tugging up his eyelids making his eyes seem even wider he applied the black liner evenly and with grace and cursing when his hand shook causing the brush to painfully poke his eye. When he had finished he stood back and admired his reflection, he dabbed some fake blood onto his lips and onto the fake fangs in his mouth and tied the red straps on the cape around his neck.

Gently tugging up his eyelids making his eyes seem even wider he applied the black liner evenly and with grace, he cursed when his hand shook causing the brush to painfully poke his eye. When he had finished he stood back and admired his reflection, he dabbed some fake blood onto his lips and onto the fake fangs in his mouth and tied the red straps on the cape around his neck, he fashioned the ribbon into a neat bow and smiled, stepping back he bumped into Howard who was slouching lazing clutching what appeared to be a long white gown.

"Wow," He began reaching out his hand to examine Vince's fake fangs "They almost look real!"

"Genius." Vince nodded with a grin while looking down at the white material Howard was holding "You still goin' with my 'escaped mental patient' idea then?"

Howard sighed. "Yeah I guess, I mean if i don't dress up I'll only get it in the neck from you." Howard chuckled slightly at the quick thinking and irony of his comment.

"You'll look awesome! Let me do you make up."

"Make-up?"

"Yeah! C'mon Howard, it'll be genius! I'm a master with the brush." Vince's smile widened, his fangs bearing threateningly even though they were plastic.

"Woah there, I don't need make up!"

"Course you do! It's Halloween, everyone wears make up. C'mon, don't you trust me with this?"

"It's not that I don't trust you its just, I get rashes." Howard stammered making up excuses.

"Liar."

"I do!"

"Liar!"

"Why does an escaped mental patient need make up?"

"Oh come on! Don't you watch horror films? Dark circles round the eyes, cracked bleedin' lips...C'mon, sit down on the bed and let Vince Noir work his magic." Vince smiled picking up his makeup brush and slipped it between his teeth biting on it innocently. Howard sighed and sat down on the bed muttering a reluctant 'fine' at the beaming Vampire.

"What is that?"

"Black face paints, sit still - oh and close your eyes you don't want this stuff in your tiny peepers." Vince smiled, dabbing his brush and the face paints and applying it to the small eyes. He circled round and round, smudging the black in and rimming the outside with a blue dust, Vince pushed the brush between his teeth and smiled. Howard looked as though he was on old woman who'd run for the bus.

Next he took a smaller brush and opened a pot of red face paint and some fake blood and started applying the effect of cracked bitten skin to Howard's lips.

"Hold still and open your mouth." He did as he was told and tried not to fidget as the bristles tickled his lips, finally Vince stood back with the tip of the brush again between his teeth and grinned stupidly

"Genius!"

Howard smiled, and grabbed the mirror he gulped. "What have you done?" he asked, dropping the mirror to the floor.

"I've done your Halloween makeup, now go! Get changed."

Howard gave Vince an uncertain look as he made to leave the room, "It looks fine!" Vince assured him after he shut the door. He picked up his still hot straighteners and touched up his hair a little in the mirror then added some Goth juice to hold everything in place.

There was a knock at the door, and a gorilla dressed in a human man suit came in.

"Precious Vince look scary, Bollo shield neck." He spoke, trotting over to the vanity table, Vince spun on his chair and stood up biting his teeth together and laughing.

"You don't look to bad yourself! What's your human name then?"

"Bollo thinking Dave."

"Dave, nice one."

"Vince ready?" Bollo asked looking warily at all the make up and hair products that lay over the bed and dresser.

"Just about yeah!" He touched up his eyes one final time and stood wrapping the cape around his front "Let's go party then, everything else set up?"

"Bollo checked, everything ready."

"What about the DJ? Who we got?"

"Naboo's Shaman friends."

"Oh speaking of Naboo, is he coming?" Vince asked picking his stuff up from the bed and placing it back on the dresser.

"Bollo last saw him stoned outta his tiny shaman mind. Bollo worried for little shaman health."

"Typical." Vince tutted "I'll be 'aving words with him when I find him."

"Best not." Bollo warned him "Best to leave little Naboo to sober up, he can get quite a temper when stoned."

"What's the worst he could do? Turn his back on me?" Vince giggled to himself and went to turn up the volume on the stereo.

Ghost town boomed through the speakers, and Vince danced across his room banging on Naboo's bedroom door, he opened it gently only to be greeted with a large cloud of smoke hitting him in the face. He stumbled backwards and coughed fanning the air with his arms.

"Woah Naboo! Chill out on the hookah yeah? Gonna need a lighthouse in there soon, you comin' to this party or what?" Vince starred into the gloomy fog inside the room, when he breathed in he could feel the smoke fill his throat and lungs sending him a little dizzy.

"Yeah whatever."

"Oh come on Naboo! We need your potions and lotions to frighten things up a bit!"

Naboo puffed on the pipe again, his eyes glazing over.

"Naboo?" Vince asked, venturing in the smoking room and waving a hand in front of the stoned shamans face. "Naboolio?" Nothing.

"What's with all this smoke?" Howard spluttered staggering into the bedroom, waving his plastic axe around to clear the air - or at least tempt to.

"I think Naboo's on a bender." Vince blurted out in an obvious loud tone "Naboo?" He asked again, "Naboo!" He broke into a yell and continued repeating the Shaman's name despite Howard tugging at his arm and yelling at him to shut up "Naboo!"

"What? What the fuck do you want Vince?" The Shaman spat back almost dropping the hookah pipe in his hand, Vince jumped back slightly at the sudden movement.

Vince stepped back and shuffled his feet on the floor, nicotine probably turning his boots yellow as he did so.

"I was just going to ask you -" Vince trailed off, staring at the floor with much fascination. Howard gulped and grabbed Vince by the arm.

"Ask what?" The Shaman asked, his voice lacked any hint of emotion as did his features.

"If, y'know? You could liven the party up a little with your Shaman magic." Naboo set down his pipe and stood starring straight at the two men.

"You wanna scare your guests?" Vince nodded gently at the tiny Shaman who raised his hands together and began chanting in Xooberonian tongue, he clapped his palms together and stopped. Vince suddenly felt an undesirable urge for the metallic pang of blood on his tongue and the plastic fangs in his mouth seemed to sit more comfortably than before.

Naboo smiled and returned to his pipe, puffing on it blankly, Vince turned to Howard who gulped and stepped backwards.

"Vat?" Vince asked, his voice sounding somewhat Russian.

"You've turned into a Vampire." Howard explained pointing at him, small giggles erupting as he spoke. Vince looked down his hand which had turned a sheer white, he flung his hands up to his mouth and attempted to pull the teeth out – failing.

"Genius Naboo! I mean, it's not vat I vanted but like, I'm gonna scare ze shit outta ze guests!"

"Oh my god..." Howard muttered backing away from Vince "Oh no..." He giggled insanely but nervously while the vampire stared at him.

"What's wrong with you?" Howard fled from the doorway mumbling to himself out loud.

"What's he dressed as?" Naboo muttered through puffs on his pipe.

"An escaped mental patient..." The words slipped slowly off his tongue as Vince's eyes widened "Oh no! Naboo…"

"Yes Vince, I've turned you, Howard and Naboo into their costumes. Now piss off and leave me alone Dracula." Naboo lisped in his usual deadpan tone. Vince smiled hesitantly and walked away, checking his reflection as he went.

He screamed, the mirror was blank – all Vince could see behind him was the bed, and a picture of him and Howard, and even in that all traces of himself had vanished, Howard had his arm around nothing, but he was still smiling as though he was in the picture with his best friend. From the other room something smashed, Vince jumped at the sudden sounds – his hearing seeming harsher on his ears almost as though he had.

"Sonar…" Vince muttered to himself as he could hear everything from the other room, how ever quietly Bollo was talking.

"Damn human fingers, too dainty for Bollo fingers." Vince smiled, Bollo was a human, he was a Vampire and Howard was essentially an escaped lunatic.

This was going to be the most authentic Halloween costume he'd ever worn.