Title: Hold Me Together (and sew me up with rusty a needle and rotten thread)
Summary: She can't let it happen again, so she doesn't. Deanna Winchester, omega, fights for her rights and the rights of everyone like her. All the while recovering from the horrors of human trafficking. Because nothing will change unless someone starts the movement.
Warnings: Mentions of nonconsensual sex and sex work, past forced prostitution, and mentions of no consensual knotting and nonconsentual non graphic anal and vaginal sex. A/B/O isn't for everyone! If you are unfamiliar with the alpha/omega/beta universe and would like to know more PM me and I can give you a good link to an article explaining it. Also futures Always-a-Girl!Dean
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize!
Authors Note: Yay! A sequel to Keep Your Eyes Open Please enjoy. Comments are love!
Hold Me Together
When the waves are taking you under,
Hold on just a little bit longer.
The pain ain't gonna last forever,
And things can only get better,
Believe me,
This is gonna make you stronger.
- Stronger by Mandisa
1.
December 8, 2003
The first thing Deanna is aware of when she wakes is the pain, a burning sensation all over her face, arms, and legs that reminds her of the time she scorched her wrist on a baking pan will trying to make cookies. The second thing she's aware of, is the scent of an alpha; the musky smell makes her want to vomit and she tenses, pain forgotten as she opens her eyes.
Bright light assaults vision and she closes them again to stave off the throbbing pain. The alpha shifts beside her and she forces herself to open her eyes again because she knows that they like it when they can see the pain in her eyes.
She studies him; he's attractive, she thinks, but large. There's something familiar about him and she wonders if he's a return customer. Deanna flinches as he raises a hand and she tries not to look scared. She fails though, because she is in so much pain and the idea of being knotted terrifies her even more than usual. She knows better than to fight though, that will only make everything worse.
Deanna surprised when the alpha jerks back his hand as if burned. She senses distress pouring off him in waves and when she looks at his face she sees not lust, but worry. He looks at her with sad hazel eyes and he's so familiar that her heart aches for some unknown reason.
"Hey Dee." Dee, no on here calls her that, they don't know her real name. That is something that even Lilith can't have. Sammy used to call her Dee, and their father, when he was sober.
"Hey Dee." The alpha speaks again in that soft voice, like he thinks she might try to run. She's tried, never works. "It's Sammy. I know I grew a bit since you last saw me but I promise it's still me. I always did say I'd be taller than you. I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. The doctor said you probably won't remember it though, they gave you a lot of pain meds. I just flew in from California." He's right she doesn't remember. In fact she doesn't even know what state she's in.
His words sink in. Sammy, he just said that his name is Sammy. She looks at them again and now she can see why he had seemed so familiar. Underneath the harsher lines, sharp cheekbones and broad shoulders is Sam. She can see him in his eyes, and nose, and everything else that makes up her little brother. Damn, he grew up. Memories start to come back. Fire, screaming, pain and flashing red and blue lights. Did the others get away?
"You probably want to know about the other omega, they're fine. Well, not fine but the doctor said they should recover. Deanna, you saved them." He sounds awed. "I told the doctor that I would tell you..." He trails off and Deanna feels a stab of fear when he doesn't meet her eyes.
Part of the building fell on you during fire, your leg was trapped. They had to get you out or you would have died. I'm sorry Dee, they couldn't save it. Your face is pretty burned too, the doctor said that you might need skin grafts, but either way you're going to have some pretty badass scars." Deanna can feel the tears coming but forces them back.
Her leg, she can feel the left one but when she tries to move her right ankle her thigh twitches and the fear that had been slowly fading comes back full force.
"Sammy." She rasps and it hurts, her throat is dry and she wants to ask for water but doesn't because asking for something has, for the last nine years, made her even less likely to get it.
"Yeah." Sam answers as if it had been a question and his voice is choked. She hopes he doesn't cry, she needs him to be strong. "It'll be okay." Deanna doesn't agree but says nothing, Sam needs to convince himself that. Once he believes it maybe she will as well.
"It'll be okay."
2.
April 10, 2003
Deanna is fitted with a prosthetic leg and on a bright April morning, two months after her release from the hospital and into Sam and Jess's care. The leg is bright metal, tan plastic, tight, uncomfortable, and she hates it.
It's hard to walk on and forces her to look at the stump that used to be her leg. Sam tells her to suck it up and stop complaining in that Sam way of his and Jess supports her as she walks for the first time in what feels like forever.
Sam looks at them longingly and Deanna feels bad that him touching her scares the shit out of her, he may be her brother but he's an alpha male and Deanna has spent the last nine years being abused by men that smell just like him.
Every time he touches her, even just a brush of contact, she collapses and she can't handle that, not now.
"You can do it Deanna." Jess says when she tries to give up and Sam speaks from the sidelines.
"Dee don't you dare stop. We aren't leaving until you walk ten feet. I've got class in an hour and I really don't want to be late."
Deanna walks those feet because she's so, so proud of her little brother. Stanford Law student, with a beautiful omega fiancée. She can picture a two-story house with kids playing in the front yard. Deanna takes those steps and then some because her brother is looking at her with such pride in his eyes and she wants to live up to his expectations. She walks five extra feet just to prove that she can and relishes in the kind of freedom she hasn't had for a very long time.
At Sam's pleading she goes to physical therapy three times a week, the doctor is a gentle beta named Anna with striking red hair.
Deanna walks everywhere, shuns her wheelchair and soon the metal and plastic leg is not so painful, putting it on the morning is a habit, and she stops trying to stand without it and falling flat on her face.
3.
June 21, 2003
She meets Castiel when Anna, the physical therapist, decides that Deanna needs a friend. She's nervous at first but Castiel is just about the most unthreatening person she's ever met. He's Anna's cousin and a history professor at Stanford and once the original apprehension is gone, Deanna takes an instant liking to the mild-mannered omega. Cas is everything she could ever hope for. He helps her stop being afraid and offers her a shoulder to cry on when she needs to let go.
4.
August 15, 2003
Deanna is called as a witness against Lilith Dawson almost nine months after she leaves her to die in the skeleton have a burning building
"I call witness Deanna Winchester, omega, to the stand." The prosecution's lawyer is a sharp edged female alpha named Meg who Deanna doesn't particularly like but is damn good at her job so she doesn't care.
"Could you tell me about your relationship with the defendant, Lilith Dawson?"
Deanna answers all the questions truthfully and avoids Lilith's pale blue gaze from across the courtroom. They show pictures of Deanna's injuries and hormone implant, as well as a few of the other omega who agreed to testify, and even when Lilith's lawyer, a sleazy alpha named Azazel grills her, Deanna keeps her head up and refuses to cry.
The jury returns with their decision in record time and Deanna, along with everyone else in the courtroom, holds her breath as the judge announces the verdict.
"The jury finds the defendant… Guilty."
Deanna vows that she will do everything she can to keep others like her from being afraid that a murderer and rapist will be let go just because the only victims were omega.
The people versus Lilith Dawson case is high-profile but Deanna is still surprised when the reporters hound her as she exits the courthouse. Sam is there though, and he pushes through the crowd, shielding her from the numerous cameras and microphones.
5.
Deanna researches omega rights, interviews survivors of everything from domestic violence to mental trauma and learns all she can about the war she's fighting. Most won't talk, but those that do tell stories of rape, abuse, and self-worthlessness. Cas is there through it all, fighting alongside her. She writes. Deanna has never been much of a writer but the more she learns the more the words come to her. She sends rough drafts to the most liberal publishing company she can find and they love it. It's blunt, radical and like nothing that has ever been written. She does everything she can to bring awareness to omega rights.
6.
August 18, 2003
Her publisher asks if Deanna would be willing to give a speech about her years in the brothel and try to rally the public, at a gender equality conference. Her speech, or at least parts of it, will be played on all the major news stations, all around the world. This is her chance to make a change. She's never talked about it before and the idea scares her more than she wants to admit. She talks to Sam and Cas about the idea and they tell her the same thing; "Do what you think is right." She glares at them for their unhelpful advice but it gets her thinking. 'What do I think is right? Not the discrimination that we live with now.' She's never made her face known to the public. They read her books, but she doesn't go to signings or even have her picture in the back. She has been healing and relishes in the anonymity. She wants to make a change though and hiding behind the cover of the book isn't taking action. "Yes, I'll do it."
7.
September 22, 2003
Cas kisses her for the first time during Night of the Living Dead, four months after Anna introduces them. It's a soft kiss, just a brush of his lips against hers before it's over. In the darkness of the movie theater Deanna feels lighter than she ever has before.
She twines their fingers together and pulls him in for another kiss. This one is harder, more heated and he cups the back of her neck as she plunders his mouth. She relishes in the control she has over him, the noises he makes. They only stop because the person sitting behind them coughs pointedly.
"We should do that again." He murmurs in her ear and Deanna definitely agrees as heat tingles between her legs.
8.
It's not easy, omega are supposed to date alphas and betas, not other omega, just as alphas don't date other alphas. Deanna and Castiel march on parades, join same-sex marriage organizations, and fight for the right to be with who they love.
It's a hard road, parents pull their children away when they see them together and old ladies look at them with barely hidden disapproval. They don't give up though, and ignore the harsh words and discrimination.
9.
December 6, 2003
Eleven months after her rescue a law passes in the state of California that allows omega-omega and alpha-alpha marriages.
Cas asks her to marry him that night. He gets down on one knee in the middle of a crowded restaurant and she says yes to the applaud of surrounding tables.
"Deanna Winchester, will you marry me?"
The ring is a small silver band with the tiny green gem, its practical, something she would wear and it's perfect.
"Yes! Shit, yes!" She doesn't have to think about it because there's nothing to think about.
Cas smiles a brilliant smile that makes his eyes sparkle and she loves him so, so much. She can tell in the way that he kisses her, touches her, bring her over the edge that even though sometime she screams in the middle the night as dreams of rough hands and alpha knots assault her mind, even if sometimes she forgets that she's free, he loves her too. It won't be easy, in fact they will have to fight every step of the way, but Deanna has spent too long not standing up for herself.
Yes, it might've kept her alive for those horrible nine years but now Deanna can stand up and say, "No, screw you."
10.
December 8, 2004
Deanna walks onto the stage a year after her rescue and meet's Sam's eyes in the audience. She can do this. This is her chance to make a change. To do something. So she talks, she tells her story and with all her heart, hopes that her words will be enough. She's trying to change generations upon generations of discrimination and Deanna just wants to be heard.
"I'll start at the beginning..."