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Sora ni Naretara (I Became the Wind)

Rating: PG

Genre: Angst/Tragedy

Note: Implied slash, if you look real hard and squint heavily. Implied death(s). Inspired by Yazoo's "Midnight." Kind of weird.

Summary: Sometimes, the only way to catch up is to become the wind.

Midnight.

It's raining outside.

I can't help but think that he must be soaked to the bone. Shivering from the cold, rivulets of water turned to ice on his skin. Somewhere. Somewhere out there, in the dark.

He'd run so many times. I should have known that… I should have known, shouldn't I? That one day… one day when he ran, he wouldn't stop. That his feet would carry him farther than they'd ever carried him before, carving a new path after passing old ones, taking him farther and farther away from us. Bringing him closer to the unknown.

Midnight.

It's raining outside.

I can't help but think they must be soaked to the bone. Shivering from the cold, the rain unable to freeze on their skin because they won't – can't – hold still long enough for it to become ice. Somewhere. Somewhere out there, in the dark.

I'd gone looking so many times. They should have known that… they should have known, shouldn't they? That one day… one day when I was looking, I'd find it. That my search would lead me to where he stepped off the familiar paths he'd worn, the starting point of his new path, where I could see his faded prints leading farther and farther away from them. Bringing me closer to him.

I should have known he'd grow wings on his feet.

They should have known I'd make my own.

But I didn't know.

But they didn't know.

Midnight.

It's raining outside.

I can't help but think the trail has grown cold, and the path he cut like ancient edifices that once stood proud and strong, now crumbling under the weight of time. Shivering from the cold, I feel as though I can still catch his scent on the damp winter winds, weak with age but still a beacon that will lead me to him. Wherever he is. Somewhere out there, in the dark.

I'd expected something other than this. I should have known that… that it wouldn't be how I expected it to be.

But I didn't know.

There is so much that I don't know. And there was so much I didn't know.

I hadn't expected it to hurt as much as it did. I didn't think a heart could turn to glass, let alone shatter into as many pieces as it did. I didn't expect regret to consume me, and I hadn't known there were things that I didn't say, that I wanted to. I thought I'd said it all – everything important, anyway.

But I didn't.

And I have to tell him.

I don't know why, but I have to. I couldn't stop looking, not until I found it. I can't stop coming here, coming here to sit at the edge and scream his name into the damp winter winds, hoping he'll hear me and come back. I can't help the tears, or stop my feet from twitching. I don't know why.

I know this is the path he made. I know he can't hear me. I know he's too far away. I know they're coming, and I know they're going to try and stop me. God help me, I know I can't allow that to happen.

I'm scared, but I know I have to become the wind.

I think it's going to take a while to catch up to him. But, I think I'm okay with that. I think it's better to speculate.

I think they won't be too far behind me.

Midnight.

It's raining outside.

I can't help but marvel that I'm not cold anymore. Shivering, but not from the cold: I can smell him on the wind, on me, because I am the wind now. I can feel him on the wind, on me.

Raphael. My brother is out there. Somewhere.

Somewhere out there, in the dark.

o0o

END
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