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"Why would anyone decide to use this place to do alchemy in?" Ling asked. Ed snorted. "Are you serious? This is a perfect place for any lowlife alchemist to do their insane experiments. It's abandoned, out of the way, and looks beat up. No one in there right mind would walk in unless they had a reason to." "So, the question is, is the place going to fall over the minute we step inside. You do remember that the last time we had to ask that question, your leg would have been broken if it wasn't metal." Ling reminded the alchemist. "But we don't have to ask that." Ed declared, looking victoriously over the saplings and ivy that had long overgrown the house and spread around the forest floor. "Look through the windows." He commanded "They're boarded up." Ling said, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on, as they always did when Ed started to act like this. "Look closer." Ed directed. Ling, taking the path of least resistance, obeyed. "Ok... I see pink. Neon pink." The headache intensified at the sheer, glaring colour of the paint. "And any paint wouldn't be so bright if it was in an abandoned house!" Ed cried. "Well, going in doesn't seem to be any more life threatening than usual, so we'll do it." Ling finally relented."Let's just hope Darius and Heinkel are in here."
The inside of the house was bad enough that, if they ever had to return, Ling would make sure they brought sunglasses. "Ugh." Ed complained "I want to tear down these walls with alchemy." The hall alone was an interior designers nightmare. Garish wallpaper lined the walls, blaring a rainbow of colours that neon could never hope to describe and increased Ling's headache an unprecedented amount. The table had been painted purple with blinding green highlights. On it sat a picture that's subjects had been covered in a substance that was so almost glowingly red that there was no telling whether it was blood or some substitute made to both fit into the colour scheme and mimic blood at the same time. Whatever mad-man or women who lived in this hellish dollhouse was clearly either immune to their surroundings, or completely colour blind. "We should burn this place down." Greed suggested."It would be the only way to fix this disaster. Envy has better taste than whoever decorated this place, and you've seen his outfit." Greed had let Ling be in control for this, as he was better at stealth, though he had made it clear that if the person who'd kidnapped his "Pocessesions" tried to kill his chimera henchmen, he would be the one to kill the guy.
As Ling and Ed stepped into the radioactive pink and electric yellow themed living room that they had seen through the boarded up window, a weighted piece of furniture of some sort fell on their heads. Ed was immediately knocked unconcious from the heavy blow, but Ling, of course, was only knocked down. The couch stopped just far enough from the floor to let the presumably knocked out victims of an assault from dropping pink furniture lie comfortably on the floor with only the damage of a possible concussion and a painful bruise. "Oh, you're not unconcious!" Came the voice of the madwomen who was responsible for the decor and the couch. "That's interesting. Usually that happens with head trauma." Ling saw her start to advance and began to use his ultimate shield. "Oh well!" She chirped as a dart hit Ling in the forehead. The last thing he saw before the cocktail of drugs knocked him unconcious was her pink high heel shoes with strawberry red bows blurring with the yellow wood floor to create a half-decent looking shade of orange.
Sorry the first chapter is so short, but I don't want to put in too many more words when I already have enough to describe this. Next chapter will probably be longer. Also, Ed shall not be a Neko... I've saved that honor for someone else. Ed shall be... a _! You can go fill in the blank yourself for now. The Neko is _. Same thing there as well. Please review, or I'll go full logical fallacy mode and make Ed a flying jellyfish chimera out of rage and sadness. But then the fic would be bad and you wouldn't review... Please review!