Broken and Put Back Together

Chapter 1

BPOV

It had been three months since Jacob had taken my warning about not being good for him. If I knew what the outcome would be, then I would have kept my mouth shut. I should have stayed with him and not jerked away from him at the cinema, the last happy memory I shared with him. The only other time I saw him was when he told me 'goodbye'.

-Flashback-

The sound of Jake's new 'rabbit' came from outside. It had been a few days after he got sick from whatever virus that he had, he must be better then. I walked out to see him, a grin plastered on my face.

"hey Jake!" I greeted him. My grin faltered when I saw his blank expression.

He wasn't the same: his hair was short and cropped, his bright and cheery expression was gone, a cold-hearted mask replaced it. He was taller and more burley.

He was not the Jacob that I knew.

He got out of the car, wearing only a shirt and a pair of ripped quarter-length jeans in freezing cold weather. He stopped a few feet from where I was standing.

"Bella, this isn't working. I can't be your friend anymore," he said, his voice almost unrecognizable. I didn't register what was happening. I could feel the familiar numbness seeping to claim me again.

"What? I... I don't understand... but?" I stuttered in a whisper, not trusting my voice.

"I'm sorry Bella," he said before turning back to his car and driving away.

I slumped to the ground, feeling my head slamming against the steps. The festering hole which Jacob – it now hurt to think or say his name – had been slowly healing, had now doubled in size. My lungs were gone, I don't know I was breathing.

As I lay there, head and chest throbbing and tears falling freely from my eyes, I wished for death.

-End of Flashback-

All i could think of was 'he'll come back, God couldn't hate me that much, he'll come back'. But he didn't. Everyday for a month, I would sit by the telephone, waiting for him to call. But he didn't.

Now I realized that fate was against me. I had been meddling in the mythical world for far too long, so now fate had decided to get pay-back. It had stripped away my happiness, starting with -cringe- Edward, now -another cringe- Jacob.

I didn't eat much, I didn't sleep, as nightmares continued to haunt left dreams, I barely left my room – only to go to the bathroom or school, which I tried to get out of as much as possible. My skin was almost translucent, I had purple bruise-like marks underneath my eyes, worse then before and my hair was always messy. Not that I cared what I looked like. I barely look at what I wore. Charlie tried to get me to see a 'professional' but i lock myself in my room. I knew i needed help, I just could care less about my life anymore.

I had nothing.

Sure i had Renee and Charlie, but it's not the same. They don't listen to what i have to say and they only care about what's 'good' for me, not what I want.

I tried self-harm out, but everytime I put the blade to my skin, Edwards' voice came back, so I couldn't do it. I didn't want to hear his voice anymore. And also, I wasn't I big fan on seeing my own blood.

But I couldn't take my life anymore. I've seen shows about it on TV. People slitting their wrists or throat so they could die. I never would have thought about it, I never really thought that it was a good idea. I was always against it, until now.

I planned it very carefully. I had broken my scissors so I had one blade and hid it underneath my bed. I brought up a chair to barricade the door so Charlie would find me and ruin everything. I planned to do it at midnight, when Charlie would be fast asleep. I even brought tissues, because I know that there would be tears.

Half an hour to go now. Not much longer. I started thinking about Edward, when I was happy. I closed my eyes and pulled out old memories of us, our first kiss, the meadow, meeting his family. I started thinking about them: Alice, Esme, Emmet, Carlise and my least favourite, Jasper and Rosalie. Ever since my 18th birthday and when Jasper tried to kill me, I really didn't like him that much. And Rosalie just didn't like me for no real reason, so I returned her feelings. I pictured Esme, so much like a mother to me. I started sobbing so I started thinking about Edward again. When I heard his voice at the ballet studio when James was hunting me. I broke down in tears.

I quickly opened my eyes, impatient for it to be midnight. I looked over to the clock, it was only two minutes too, so I thought why wait? I grabbed the chair and shoved it under the doorknob, so Charlie wouldn't have a hope in hell in getting in. I grabbed the blade and sat down by the bed, tears still streaming down my face. They were a mixture of happiness and sadness. I was sad because I would be hurting everyone that I loved. Well almost everyone. And happiness because my miserable life would be coming to an end.

I took a deep breath and put the blade to the corner of my elbow, feeling the searing pain as the blade cut into my weak skin. I could feel the warm blood ooze out of the puncture. Just then a memory sprung up from my brain. It was when Edward left and made me promise not to do anything reckless and stupid.

I was breaking his promise: killing yourself would have to be the pinnacle of recklessness and stupidness. I started sobbing again.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I broke your promise," I whispered, closing my eyes and begun to rake the blade down my arm. I felt the blood trickle down my arm and to my fingers before dripping on the floor.

The I heard the most beautifulest sound in the world.

"BELLA?"