TWISTED METAL:

WAR

Disclaim: I don't own Twisted Metal.

Intro:

Hello boys and girls.

It's been a long time since this all began. A Looooooong time. I remember when I used to be your average Joe Shmoe. Then, one day, my psyche broke open like an egg on the sidewalk. That's about the time I started running red lights and hitting jaywalkers in my ice-cream truck. Fun times.

Then he came along. Calypso. Leave it to a weirdo with a balding head and a sunken eye to take the name of a character from the Odyssey as his criminal pseudonym. A chick character no less.

He had taken notice of my skills at causing a high death toll with my wheels. He told me about his contest. Twisted Metal. It sounded like a dream. Killing, maiming, mass destruction. And to top it off, anything at all for my prize. Boys and Girls, how could I resist?

Well, tar and feather me, I won my first time on the battlefield. Oh, you should've seen it. The carnage, the chaos. It was a masterpiece. I went to get my prize. I wanted to live forever, to stand eternal as the greatest killer of all time! My wish was granted. Oh, how wonderful it felt. The power flowing into me. The thought of all the lives I could take across the eons. Boys and girls, it was heaven.

Of course, being the forward-thinking guy I was, I knew who I wanted to kill first. If Calypso was still around, more people would be killed in his contest, which meant less people for me to kill. I made my move on him when, suddenly, my head seemed to catch on fire spontaneously. The flames burned into my skull, and yet, I didn't die. Calypso laughed as I continued to try to get at him, only to have the flames burn worse.

He said that he'd foreseen my intent, and placed a curse on me. If I even thought about wringing the little creep's neck, the flames would burn me. And if I failed to reenter his contest every year, the flames would spread to my entire body, trapping me in a living hell.

"After all," he said, "what better infamy than to be known as the most brutal driver in Twisted Metal for all eternity?"

And so it went on. The flames never went away. I'm sure you understand why. I kept playing that fool's game. I didn't always win. The next time I did I tied to wish for the flames to no longer burn my head. He moved them to my bladder. Ever since, every time I hear someone say, "it burns when I pee," I snap their freaking neck (not that I wouldn't do it anyway, but I feel more justified). The next time I ended up with it back on my head.

It became abundantly clear to me that Calypso got a big kick out of screwing people over their wishes. It happened to everyone, every time. Don't get me wrong, I love watching people suffer as much as the next sociopath, but it began to get old. I almost welcome the living hell as opposed to this monotonous existence. But I can't. I can't. Not until I've watched him die. Not until I see Calypso's rotting corpse do I dare give in.

And that time is soon kiddies…

You see boys and girls, I've got a plan. I'm getting together a bunch of other guys who Calypso's screwed over the years. Guys who weren't completely whacked during the contest. Guys, like me, who would love to sting ol' Calypso up by his aging hippy hairdo.

We've got a whole world to comb through searching for this creep. And we ain't gonna stop till he's dead. The fire on my head burns hotter than ever, and I relish in it.

Better watch out boys and girls…

…this is WAR!

AN: I've never really played Twisted Metal to be honest. I have however watched clips from the games and found them very cool. I like the characters and story structure. I'm going to do this in the standard TM fanfic format. Each character will have an Intro, Middle, and Conclusion. Please send suggestions. I have a few obvious ones in mind, but, I like feedback.