Never Too Far
By Laura Schiller
Series: The Faerie Path
Copyright: Frewin Jones and HarperCollins Publishing
Tania stood by the banks of the Tamesis, looking up at the white marble structure she had gotten to know so well in the past year. It was so beautiful it hurt her. Zara had loved beautiful things; she should have had the chance to see many more of them.
The place which had been a tribute to the memory of Quen Titania had been remade; now it was Zara's name inscribed on golden letters above the doors. A life-sized statue stood there, painted to look so lifelike that sometimes Tania's eyes deceived her into believing Zara had come back. She would run up to the statue, calling her sister's name, touch the cool stone folds of her favorite blue gown and cry, remembering all over again that Zara was dead.
"Uh, hi," she said to the statue now. She had gotten into the habit of talking to it; perhaps Zara, wherever she was, could hear.
"How's it going?" Tania continued, pretending to be casual. "I'm okay...so's everyone else...missing you a lot, though. No one left at Court can sing like you...or laugh like you." She swallowed a lump in her throat.
"Hey, speaking of singing..." she went on, feeling rather silly. "I thought you might like to hear some music here sometimes...I was going to bring my stereo, but it's made of Isenmort...I guess I'll just have to sing myself. If it sounds awful, I'm sorry. And yeah, this is mortal music. They call it pop music. It's by a really famous American singer called Mariah Carey." She coughed and stood up straight, pulling out her lute from her backpack, which she now remembered how to play.
You're with me
Til
the bitter end
What we had transcends
This experience
Too
painful to
Talk about
"Bitter end" is right, she thought. For a moment, she felt the horror of the battle come back to her. Gabriel Drake's mad silver eyes. The glint of his sword. Knowing she was about to die, then seeing that flash of golden curls, that small body leaping in front of her. A spatter of blood. A cry.
Zara died to save me...it's all my fault.
So I'll hold it
in
Til my heart can mend
And be brave enough to love again
She had struggled with
that guilt for so long before finally coming to terms with it. Her
two families and Edric had helped with their advice and comfort,
always being there for her even when she pushed them away. After the
turbulence of the battle and its aftermath had been over, Tania had
spent a long time inconsolably grieving for her beautiful, joyful
sister, whom she had known for far too short a time. She had been
terrified of accepting more affection – it made you so vulnerable
to pain. If it hadn't been for her family's gentle support (in a
time where they were still grieving themselves, no less) she might
not have made it through. A place in time
Still belongs
to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is
solace
There was another memory, gentle and comforting in its sweet melancholy, which she called up to ease the pain. It was the glittering host of Faerie spirits departing into Avalon, the loving rainbow of light which had given King Oberon back his fading strength – and that last, fleeting glimpse of Zara, riding on Zephyr the unicorn and singing as she rode up into the sunset clouds.
And oh,oh
Never
too far away
I won't let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
though
we can never be
I'll keep you close to me
She remembered every moment they had spent together. Playing duets with Zara. Listening to her sing for the wind to lift the Cloud Scudder. Dragging her into that nightclub with such disastrous consequences. Saying goodbye at Castle Ravensare.
Zara had been the first of Tania's sisters to welcome her, running up to her with a friendly smile and a hug and making her feel at home. Zara had been a breath of fresh air, trailing joy and laughter wherever she went. And, Tania realized now, that was exactly why she herself should stop spending her days in bleak depression and allow herself to live.
When I remember
Glittering lights
Incandescent eyes
Still preserved
In
my mind
In the memories I'll find solace
She could just imagine how Zara would react to Tania's sad song if she were here: "Mercy, Tania, cease with this endless moaning and wailing! 'Tis enough to frighten the very birds from the trees! Come now, sweet sister, give us a merry tune to lift our spirits."
Imagining that, Tania let out a short, choked little laugh and dashed a tear from her eye. "You're right, Zara," she told the statue. "I'll play something else."
Her fingers found the familiar chords of a Faerie dance tune she had played so often with Zara; the countryside rang with music. A squirrel, perhaps one of Cordelia's friends, came down out of a tree to listen. Tania's eyes were half closed, her fingers danced; she concentrated on the music so intensely that there was nothing else for her.
Later she wondered if it had been nothing but a trick of her memory back then, or if she had truly heard the faintest of far-off echoes of a spinetta accompanying her, and the silver sound of laughter.