"Gamzee let me go!"
Your name is Karkat Vantas.
"I'm fucking serious! S-stop this isn't fucking funny anymore, you shitfaced clown!"
And this is your life.
Laying in the middle of your bedroom floor, you slowly open your eyes, your head throbbing with a sharp pain. A shaky groan leaves your throat as you slide your hands underneath you, your blurred vision clearing up as the scabs and marks that cover your arms come into view. You lift yourself up, your entire body trembling with soreness. "Tck.." was the only sound you could make as you forced yourself to your feet, stumbling over a bit. You're having a hard time remembering what all happened the night before. The last bit you can remember being too terrifying to recall, though the images of your moirail keep flashing back to you. When did it come to this? This has been going on for how long now? Atleast once a week the purple eyed man comes to visit, and everytime the encounter becomes worse and worse. But what can you do? Break off the moirallegiance? You can only imagine what would happen if you even tried.
Gaining stable ground, you manage to walk over to your closet, reaching up to grab a new sweater, your last one torn beyond recognition. Your wounded arms coming into view again your chest tightens, closing your eyes as you grit your teeth. It disgusts you. Seeing yourself like this. You can't even fight back you're too weak and pathetic. When in reality, you're just too scared. Gamzee Makara. You remember when all he did was lay around, eating that disgusting green slime and honking his idiotic bicycle horns in anyones ears when he got the chance. You hated it so much. But yet compared to how he is now, you'd trade him out for that old bullshit clown the first chance you got. But this can't be helped. Maybe one day that vicious purple eyed man will finally decide to end your miserable life. It's now gotten to the point where you almost wish for that. You deserve it after all right? Every hit you take, every wound you're given, you deserve it for being such a failure at what is called life. This life isn't done fucking you over and punishing you for your mere existence. As these thoughts run through your head you find yourself allowing a single tear to stream down your cheek as you put on your sweater, the long sleeves and torso of it covering the scars that litter the upper half of your body. You wipe the tear away, shaking your head before letting a few more tears fall, biting your bottom lip. Suddenly you hear a soft 'Ping', it causing you to jump a bit. It came from your computer. Looking over to the screen you lightly sniffle and turn your head away. You don't want to talk to anyone. Just after you shakily grabbed a pair of your skinny jeans and painfully slipped them on over your scarred legs you here another ping, then another, and another. There is only one person who would send this many messages in such a short amount of time. You cringe at the thought of him, the image of his face giving you goosebumps. Sitting down to your desk you look over the red text, your heavy eyes skimming the words.
- -turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -
TG: yo
TG: hey kitkat
TG: where are you?
TG: my best bro just decided to up and disappear on me
TG: answer me
TG: youre yanking at my heart here
This guy just doesn't know when to stop. The messages just keep coming as you stare at the screen. But do you reply? What do you say? Ever since Gamzee started with this you've shut yourself away. Normally you'd be able to mask your true feelings behind a irritated frown, but now, you seem to fail at even that. Your strength is fading slowly, and you don't think you can handle much more of this mental brutality. You want so badly to call out to someone, anyone. But why would anyone want to deal with your problems. That's all you ever have, problems. You're just one complete clusterfuck of issues. And who would ever want to deal with that? You continued to stare at the screen as the repeated pings kept coming, your eyes reading over every message sent. Why hasn't he given up yet?
TG: come on bro
TG: im being serious now
TG: somethings messing with you
TG: i can tell
TG: im worried about you
Worried? About you? What the hell was Dave thinking telling you that? Why worry about someone as pathetic and hopeless as yourself? Touching your hand to the mouse you kept the dialog on where you could reread that one message over and over again. "Is it possible for anyone to really care about me..?" you ask yourself. "Why would he say that to me? He wouldn't lie about something like that right..? He said he was serious.." and you know better than anyone else, when Dave Strider claims he is being serious, he means it. Building up some courage you reach forward, setting your fingers to the keyboard and staring at the keys. "What should I say..? Hello? Fuck off? ... Help me..?". You let out a soft sigh as you let your hands slip from the keys, leaning back in your chair as you hang your head. You really are hopeless Karkat Vantas. You really are.
Now standing outside, on the roof of your two story house, you look down at the ground. It has never looked so soft before. What are you doing? Escaping? Running? Or just giving up? Anyway that you wanna put it, this must be the only way out right? Of course it is, it's all you can think of lately. Lifting your head, you look up to the night sky, the stars being hidden from your eyes by the dark clouds. But that's probably a good thing, you don't want the heavens to see this. Closing your eyes you feel the light, cool breeze rush through your auburn hair, the scent of dew filling your lungs. Keeping your eyes shut tight you take the first step to freedom, starting to fall to the ground as you suddenly hear your name being called out. "Karkat!". Your eyes snap open just before you hit the ground, the last thing you remember seeing is the figure of that damned Dave Strider.But this is the end right? For you? So what happens after this doesn't really matter to you. Not anymore.
All you see is darkness now. No light, nothing. You're finally at peace now. Atleast you hope so. Walking around in the darkness of what must be death you come across a small light. Staring at it confused you reach out for it, only for it to move out of your reach. You went to grab at it again, catching and holding it in your hand. Slowly opening your hand, the small light suddenly bursts into what looks like a large galaxy, and you're standing in the center of it. Confused and curious you reach up and bat lightly at one of the stars, only for it to burst into what seems to be a clip from your life. As you watch it you see your friend Sollux Captor standing there, talking to what you are guessing is yourself. "Come on, KK. Seriously. Just man up and jump. The rest of us did it." You remember this. It was summer break one year and you and the gang went to the lake for a week. There was a large cliff that dropped off to the deeper part of the water. God that was the best day ever. Until they shoved you off the edge that is. Watching further you fall into the water, struggling to gain your strength. That terrified the living hell out of you. You remember feeling that you were gonna drown until that Dave Strider, for possibly the hundredth time, saved your life. He has a really bad habit in doing so. You continued to watch several clips of your life, some good, some bad. But you come to notice a pattern. Dave. That was the pattern. Suddenly the projected galaxy fades away, a bright light being left behind. You had the urge to follow it, but instead you turned away, running in the opposite direction. The further you ran you could start to here a voice, a familiar voice. Calling out something. You kept running, following the voice as it was drawing you to it. Eventually you could hear it clearer. It was his voice, that shade wearing douche bags voice. And he was calling out your name. "Dave! Dave!" you yelled out before a sudden light flashed before you.
"Oh my god. Karkat bro." was the first thing you heard as your eyes slowly fluttered open, a bright light invading your blurred vision. "Karkat? Are you awake? Can you hear me?" you hear, turning your head to look to where the voice was coming from your vision cleared up, the first face you see being none other than the cool kids. "Da.. Dave..? Wha..? Where am I..?" you ask, groaning softly as you close your eyes again, head thobbing. "F-fuck my head..". "What the hell were you thinking?! You nearly killed yourself!" Dave shouted, his hand gripping your own tightly, his normally cool composure gone with the wind. "Oh yeah.. I did didnt I..?" was all you had to say, your thoughts scrambled still. Looking over to Dave you stare at his face, lifting a hand to reach for his shades. Dave didnt even protest as he let you take the shades from his face, his own thoughts scrambled from all that has happened. Staring into his red eyes a small, weak smile spreads over your lips, the sound of a repetitive beep being heard. You guess you're in the hospital, and Dave must've called 911 after you stepped off the roof of your house. Once again he saved your life. "My knight.." you managed to say, losing yourself in the albinos red eyes. "What? Dude are you feeling okay? I mean besides nearly cracking your skull. You're smiling. Its freaking me out" Dave stated. "Your eyes.. Are so awesome.. Don't hide them from me.. Let me see the eyes of my savior.." you speak softly as you grip his hand in your own, your eyes falling shut as you doze off into a deep sleep.
This isn't the end for you after all. Just when you thought that life wasnt worth it, the one who has always been by your side swept you off your feet. Is he going to become your new motivation for living? He seems to be all you have left. The last bit of light in your dark world. If hes still here then you mustn't be so pathetic right? You're starting to believe so. Maybe this life has decided to give you a break. A break from all the pain. Because right now, you're at your happiest. Finally, you can cry with a smile instead of a frown.