Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Earth 2.

Summary: Everyone wants what they can't have. An older story, and a little less angsty than my normal stuff.

Waterfall

He knew it was wrong just as fully as he knew it was futile, but that didn't put any kind of checkrein on his mind or on his dreams. John Danziger wasn't the kind of man to let thoughts of women obsess him, but the time had come for him to admit to a painful and embarrassing truth: he had a crush. What's more, he had a crush on a woman he could never hope to have.

When they'd started out on G-889, he'd developed an eye for Devon Adair. Only natural, since she was the leader of the Earth Advance expedition–now he supposed he'd call it a colony, half-assed though it might be at the moment–and she was exactly what he had been drawn to in women all his life: strong, confident, with a big helping of idealism, and as dominant as he was. Life with her would be a constant pleasant struggle for the upper hand. Besides, he had always had a thing for brunettes.

Strange that it was her hair he'd noticed first. He'd not really thought about that hair until his current fascination had flowered. Now he couldn't close his eyes at night without imagining what her hair would feel like flowing over his chest as she lay sleeping in his arms or the tickle of its length over his thighs as she took him into her mouth. At moments like that he had to relieve his need for her, quickly and as silently as possible in deference to his daughter sleeping mere feet away, imagining her slim body on top of his, rocking back and forth, hearing that sweet voice moaning, "John, John," and biting back his groan of completion. How could he not have noticed that waterfall of mahogany ringlets falling around her shoulders, dancing when the wind touched it or she made the slightest of movements. From her hair, his attention had wandered to her face, the wide mouth and long-lashed expressive eyes, then to the slender body attached.

Bess. He tasted the name in his mind as he sat by the campfire, absently eating and letting the talk of the colonists wash over him like a drone of bees. Not that he had ever called her that, of course. Whenever he spoke to her, which was seldom because his work rarely brought him into contact with her, he always held her at bay with the propriety of "Mrs. Martin." But his eyes had a pesky tendency to follow her whenever he caught sight of her in a crowd, that mane of brown hair catching light like a beacon.

Why had this happened to him? He asked himself that question at odd moments, when he was taking a stubborn piece of machinery apart or brushing his daughter's hair. Even if Bess weren't married to that useless rich boy, she wasn't meant for him. Devon was. She already had Uly and he thought she would be an equally good mother to True. Personality-wise, he thought they'd probably get along fine if they married. It went without saying that she was a fine-looking woman, so nights with her wouldn't call for hazardous duty pay. More than that, he and Devon made sense. They were the leaders of the Earth Advance, so it was perfectly logical that they should become a couple in every way. So why wasn't his heart convinced of that?

Bess was–well, first of all, she had no children. True loved her, he knew, but he didn't know what sort of mother she'd make. She was way too delicate for him, like a china doll or a Pre-Raphaelite angel like he'd seen in old paintings. Devon had a tensile physical toughness that Bess lacked. But she wasn't weak, either. Not like her fancy-pants husband. Martin should be taking care of her, trying to lighten her burdens, not adding to them. More than once Danziger had seen Bess shouldering more than her fair share of the work and falsely claiming that she didn't need her husband's help because he had more important things to do. It offended him that Martin would let his woman do his work for him. It angered him that she seemed to think it was his due.

Second, Bess wasn't meant for this kind of life. He knew next to nothing about her past, only that she'd grown up on Earth. Probably she was from some rich Miners Union family because she exuded an air of refinement that came from money. He'd never heard a word of complaint from her, despite the fact that she must be a stranger to hard work and deprivation. What had possessed Morgan Martin to drag this delicate, beautiful woman onto a frontier world like this? If she'd been his woman, she would be safe right now, sitting in a living room somewhere and playing the piano for him and True, or something like that, not helping dig latrines. A lady like her shouldn't know what a latrine is.

Third, and most important, Bess Martin was a married woman. As far as he could tell, she loved her husband. That should be the end of his feelings. Why would she even notice a big lunk like him when she had her rich boy? Of course, now that his money meant next to nothing and the only assets he had as far as the colony was concerned were his intelligence and physical strength, she might not see him as such a desirable mate anymore. Martin spoke to her harshly and treated her like a servant a lot of the time, which made Danziger itch to punch him in the face. He had no idea how long she'd put up with his superior airs, but the fact that she had indicated the situation wasn't about to change. Even if she did leave him, they would still be married. New Pacifica had no courts, no lawyers, no authority to dissolve a marriage contract. Even if by some miracle she decided she wanted him, Danziger, Morgan Martin would still have her.

Emerging from his depressing musings, he looked around the campfire for True and she wasn't there. An instant of panic gripped his heart. She had the habit of wandering off, and most of the time she wound up in a helluva lot of trouble. He hurried through the camp, willing himself to stay calm, until he caught sight of his daughter. Danziger could hardly believe it. True lay on the ground in front of the Martins' tent, curled up in Bess's lap, sound asleep. For a long few moments he envied True. Bess held a paperback book in her hand and was reading aloud from it. The firelight gleamed on the book's gold cover and on her hair. What did her hair smell like? Shaking himself mentally, he reminded himself of the excellent reasons why she would never be his and stepped forward into the circle of light.

Bess looked up at his approach and put a finger to his lips. The sight made his insides heave with lust. "True's asleep," she whispered.

He knelt beside her, looking down at them, and kept his voice low as well. "I hope she didn't bother you. I know you must be exhausted."

"Oh, I'm all right. Just some sore muscles." Danziger wished he could massage her until the soreness fell away. Her husband certainly wouldn't. "And True's no bother. She saw me reading and wanted me to read to her. She fell asleep about twenty minutes ago, but I like reading out loud." Her voice was light and girlish, not like Devon's, but Danziger found he couldn't remember the sound of Devon's voice at the moment.

"What are you reading?" He didn't care, but it was an excuse to linger with her, the warmth of the fire enfolding them. It's a crush, just a crush, he told himself. Devon's the one I belong with. But his heart still refused to listen.

"The Great Gatsby. It's a twentieth-century novel I found in Morgan's things. It's about a man who thinks money can buy him his heart's desire."

"Does it?" he asked.

"No. He loses everything in the end. But it's a beautiful book regardless." She closed the novel and laid it down carefully on the ground at her side. "Do you want to take her back now?"

Danziger realized he wanted nothing more than to sit here with her and True and foster the illusion, for a little while, that they were a family. True needed a mother and she loved Bess. But the fragile moment ripped apart when Martin called out, "Bess! Where the hell are you?" and she flinched, causing True to move and moan in her sleep. "I had better take her. Martin sounds like he needs you."

Her big eyes were dark and unreadable, although some emotion flickered in them that he didn't recognize. Or maybe that was a trick of the light. "Morgan can wait for a minute."

Leaning forward, Danziger slid his arms under True's knees and back. His forearm brushed against Bess's thighs and his skin tingled at the contact, even through the material of her pants. She slid out from under True and a long curl of her hair brushed against his cheek. He inhaled the scent like a drowning man breathing in oxygen. Some tropical flower, he felt sure, although he couldn't identify it. The aroma made him slightly dizzy, and he staggered a little as he stood up with his daughter in his arms. True shifted but didn't wake. He heard Martin moving around and knew he should leave. Knew it and resented it. "Thank you, Mrs. Martin."

She smiled. "You're welcome, Mr. Danziger."

He felt her eyes burning into him as he walked away and wished Morgan Martin into hell with a venom he never knew he possessed.