Hey, so guess who finally beat Windwaker?

Enter mindless TeLink fluff to rot your teeth right out of your mouth.

So I always imagined that Link and Tetra must have to get really creative when it comes to having a date on board a pirate ship surrounded by very little privacy and lots of bad hygiene and awful smells. Naturally, this came to mind first. It's my first LoZ fanfic, so just keep in mind that I'm still ironing out the characters and their interactions and stuff.

I don't own The Legend of Zelda. I do own a copy of it, but I don't own the franchise itself. Fair use and all that. With that crap out of the way, enjoy.

Calluses

"Just shut up and do it, hero boy."

Tetra couldn't help the smirk that dominated her face as Link glared at her. As intimidating as he must be to monsters and evildoers, it was hard for her to fear someone who was barely as tall as she was. Crossing her arms, she flicked a zigzagging blonde forelock over her shoulder. "C'mon, Link. Don't pretend like ya have the heart to say no," she goaded.

Sure enough, he didn't seem to like that one bit. "I'm the Legendary Hero of Winds!" the blonde suddenly exploded, throwing his hands in the air. "I wielded the Master Sword, blade of evil's bane! I defeated Ganondorf and saved the entire Great Sea! Also? Reincarnation of the Hero of Time." Beginning to pace back and forth, he punctuated his words with violent hand gestures. "I. Am. A. Warrior. I will not be your cabin boy."

Tetra rolled her eyes, her arms tightening across her chest as she leaned forward. "Aw, poor baby. Aren't warriors supposed to help people?" Pulling off an exaggerated pout, she shuffled closer to him, her fingers lacing together behind her back the way she'd seen Aryll do to be "cute". "Wontcha help a poor little girl in need?"

Snorting, Link unrepentantly elbowed her away. "Please. You do remember that I saw you go after Ganon with a knife, right?"

Huffing, Tetra turned away, muttering "It was a sword…" under her breath. Then, louder: "Aw, c'mon. I just need ya to hold something." Unused to hearing her come anywhere close to whining, Link raised his eyebrows but wisely chose not to comment. "It's not that big. I didn't even get to tell ya what it was before ya shot me down!"

Link groaned melodramatically, rubbing his temples through his disheveled blonde hair and long green hat. "Tetra, come on," he moaned, fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. That woman would be the death of him, honestly. If the constant superfluous chores didn't get him, then her bad habit of pushing him off the side of the boat certainly would. "Can't you just get Gonzo to do it?"

A disgusted look curled its way onto her face. "What? No! He's way too old!"

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

The two quarreling pirates were quite the sight to see, their bright blonde hair contrasting greatly against the droll, dim hues of the ship around them. Their eyes met constantly in an epic stalemate of blues, and each one felt their hand twitch for their weapon every few moments. All other crewmates had long since wisely fled the scene, since it would be a miracle if this didn't come to blows like it usually did.

But this time was a little different.

Tetra straightened her dusty vest, collecting herself. Without warning, her dark eyes flashed and a nefarious grin flickered across her face. Link eyed her warily, backing up a bit, and muttered, "Uh… Tet?" Then, after she didn't respond for a few moments, "You… you there?"

Turning away from him, the pirate captain paced away, folding her arms behind her nimrod-straight back in a very brisk, orderly fashion. "Ya know," she mused aloud, "the boys've been itchin' to swing back 'round to the Great Sea soon, since it's been a year or two and all… I was thinkin' we maybe drop by Outset?" She could practically hear Link's attention snap into place. "You know, just for a pit stop. Oh, andja could see your sister again or whatever."

For a very long moment, neither of them spoke. Then Link incredulously broke the moment. "Are you bribing me?"

"But, ya know," she continued, utterly disregarding his words, "I'm not sure if I'm up for it, what with all these things I have to do around here. I just don't have the time for them all. If only someone would help me with that…"

Link made the most frustrated sound she'd ever heard the human vocal cords produce. "Fine!" he yelled, none-too-pleased about this turn of events. Storming up to stand just behind her, he tapped his foot rapidly against the floor with a glare she could feel rest heavily on the back of her neck. "What do you need?"

Smirking triumphantly, Tetra strut her way up to the pantry and flung the doors open, Link following begrudgingly behind her. She rifled through the random assortment of food they'd stashed away until she found a bag of apples. A quick inspection proved that most were no longer fit for human consumption, but, with some searching, she was able to find two that were worm-free and relatively un-bruised. Gripping one tightly in her hand, she tossed the other over her shoulder casually and heard the soft smack of it hitting Link's palm.

Turning on her heel, she passed him and headed for the upper deck, the Hero of Winds trailing dutifully behind her. Niko, upon seeing them, grinned and seemed about to greet them, but a swift glare from her saw him scurrying away with his tail between his legs. After that, no one bothered them.

As soon as they emerged onto the deck, the smell of sweat assaulted them, but they were unaffected. Link did opt to remove his trademark green hat, though, and, after a moment of deliberation, also ditched the tunic, leaving him in his lighter undershirt and white pants.

The sun was a hot reddish disk that hung low in the sky, leaving streaks of scarlet across the waves. Around them, all of the pirates were wiping their foreheads, panting with the effort of the various tasks they were doing around the ship. Most of the time, Link would've been happy to join them, but there was a difference between helping out because he was a crew member and being treated like a cabin boy.

They quickly reached the ladder leading up to the Crow's Nest, and Tetra began clambering up it faster than a Skullwalltula with a grudge. Link hastened after her just as fast, and soon they were swinging themselves over the railing and into the nest itself. Zuko jumped at their sudden appearance, and seemed ready to question, but he was over the edge and down the ladder with one quick handwave from Tetra. Link watched in quiet awe. He had to admit, it was pretty impressive how loyal the pirates were to her.

Still, she didn't give him any instructions; just threw her legs over the edge of the Nest and sat, staring off over the ocean. After a moment, she took a large bite of her apple, but still no further orders were forthcoming. Seeing nothing else to do, Link gingerly sat himself beside her, nibbling at his own apple while throwing sidelong glances at her face.

The Crow's Nest was much nicer than most of the ship since only Zuko was usually up there. It was far enough away from the main deck to mostly get rid of the stench of labour and pirates, but still close enough to the water to pick up the salty, clean smell of the ocean spray. Link allowed himself to enjoy the conditions for a few minutes, since this was a chance he rarely had, before lightly elbowing Tetra.

"Uh, what was I supposed to do again?"

For one moment more, she was silent, and he almost thought that she had changed her mind and this entire spat had been pointless. Then she whirled around with a cheeky grin and threw out her hand towards him so suddenly that he actually flinched a little.

"Hold this."

This time, he was the one who was silent. He just stared, wide-eyed, at her outstretched palm, as if it was the most perplexing, complex organism in the world. Blink. Blink. He tried and failed to rearrange his reality in an effort to make sense of this situation. Blink. Blink.

To her credit, Tetra didn't get mad about how flabbergasted he was. She just laughed, loud and clear, and said, "Just take it, you dork."

And maybe it was her commanding aura, or maybe it was the sheer confusion of the moment, or maybe it was the Triforce of Courage activating to help him once more, but, whatever the reason, Link reached out and grabbed it.

When they'd first met, he had been a pretty sheltered kid. Not because the adults thought they had to shelter him, but simply because he'd grown up on an island, isolated from all but a half-dozen people, and there wasn't much work to be done. Sure, he helped cook meat and fish, but he had left the day he became "a man", so he'd never gotten to hunt or anything of the sort.

He could remember the first time their hands had met: they had been shaking on the deal that she would help him get his sister back and he would, in turn, then leave her and her crew alone. At that point, she had scoffed upon feeling how babyish his hand was. He really shouldn't have been, but he couldn't help but be shocked at how tough and leathery her skin was. Both had lingered in curiosity.

The second time they'd joined hands had been brief; both of their lives had been at stake, and neither had time to comprehend that their hands were much more similar now than they had been a month or so ago.

The third time, her hand had been soft and feminine, her fingers long and graceful and her palms smooth and pale. His hand had been rough and leathery and everything that hers had been only however-long ago. The King had assured him that this was the real her: that she was Princess Zelda, not the pirate captain Tetra. But, as much as he felt compelled to protect her with his very life; with his very essence… part of him had silently acknowledged that he wasn't doing this for Princess Zelda. He was doing this for Tetra.

This time, it played out differently. As their hands linked together and tightened, it was no longer rough against smooth or hard against soft. It was callus to callus and scar to scar. And, even though he had always been used to holding Aryll's porcelain hand and his grandma's gnarled one, this felt so indescribably perfect that he took a moment to revel in the rightness of it all.

He supposed it should've been awkward. For at least a few minutes, they just sat there, holding hands. It seemed so lame when he thought about it hard, but, at the moment, it was the single greatest moment of his entire life. The moment when it just… clicked. Suddenly, everything made sense; this moment shattered his previous perception of reality entirely and replaced it with another reality.

A better one.

Eye to eye, hand to hand. Close and connected. A perfect fit. Oceans of blue and oceans of blue meeting while another ocean of blue crashed under them.

In the end, Tetra broke their unofficial staring contest with a grin and a wink.

"Love you, hero."

And there were so many ways he should've responded to that; so many rules he should've followed; especially since she was technically still a Princess even though she hated being called one. But Din and Nayru and Farore and whoever else was out there help him, because all he could muster up was a bashful but sincere smile nearly as large as hers and a near-whisper.

"Love you too, Captain."

I may or may not make a sequel to this. It depends on whether or not I can get my TeLink muse back. Keep in mind that this was written over the course of maybe an hour or two, so it's not exactly like my muse stayed for very long.

Anyway, please leave me a review if you liked it, and definitely if you didn't like it so that I can know what I'm doing wrong.