I am channeling my Inner Nobuta. There's my incongruity for the day. And no, I don't think this is the kind of thing that makes any sense. I apologize beforehand for excessive and incorrect abuse of proper nouns. And possibly the English language.

Summary: The true meaning of seishun, without the plastic pig keychains. (feat. over-analysis by one Hyuuga and two retards. Oh sorry, did I say two? I meant three.)

It usually happens when Neji is babysitting Team Seven.

More than often it pisses him off, because, if he was anything (at all), Neji hates becoming bothered by trivial things like these. And if there had been a List of Trivial Things Like These, Babysitting Team Seven would fall next to Getting His Nails Painted and Waiting for Vacant Toilets. (He subscribed to perfectionism, not as far as to go for anal-retentive like Haruno Sakura, but enough to feel slightly more aware of his surroundings than say, Naruto.)

Of course, any hopes for Naruto are immediately cast away for better fields of inquiry and sparkly thought.

"Neji, I wish I could trade places with you, na," he says all the time, "Guy-sensei is the best! Oh man, why do you always get to be in the cool team?" –Cool? Neji thinks, and he's somehow terrified by the idea– "The handshakes are the best! And—and…! What's weird is, last night I dreamed of saying, 'Team-Seven-on-three Team-Seven-on-three-THREE-TWO-ONE!' Wouldn't that just be the coolest thing ever?"

"Of course," Neji replies stolidly, "Of course it would." And maybe, if it had been Naruto, he'd be able to satisfy Lee's troublesome wish of wanting to give Neji a piggyback ride. (Sometimes, Neji thinks he's starting to sound like Shikamaru.)

--

"Can I touch you?" Sai asks.

"No, you cannot," he replies. (Neji does not like being touched, even more than he dislikes Sai trying to reach any odd conclusions.)

--

Lee, on the other hand, doesn't help at all.

"We can…we can…be amigos!"

Doesn't help at all.

"Amigos?"

Naruto's eyes light up. "Oh, yeah, amigos! Like, seishun amigos!"

"What –on earth– are you talking about?" Neji says, and he's horrified, because he really doesn't get it (nor does he want to, but he's quite sure that, in environments controlled by Uzumaki Naruto and Rock Lee, the opinion of Hyuuga Neji would equate to the significance of convex geometry. And he's sure that Naruto still thinks that convex geometry is something you can eat. But then again, in Lee and Naruto's world, Something You Can Eat would probably rank among the most important and fundamental elements of thought. This went beyond twisted logic. Neji should stop thinking about this thing; it's really quite troublesome. Maybe he should grow a pineapple on his head, as well.)

"SEISHUN AMIGOS!" Naruto crows. He must also be deaf, Neji thinks.

"I dunno, the word just sort of popped into my head," Lee says, frowning a little, "but it's cool, right? I am an amigo of seishun. You are an amigo of seishun. We are seishun amigos. Naruto-kun, we could turn this into a song!"

"Yeah!" Naruto chirps, "and you know another good idea? We could invite TonTon, too."

"Why?" Neji asks, and then immediately regrets it.

"Because she's a pig!" Naruto laughs, because that definitely explains all of it. He grins for the fraction of an hour and then he's off, giggling to himself.

--

"Why am I not allowed to touch you?"

I do not like being touched, Neji wants to say, but he catches himself before he can because he can't risk sounding like a prude, not while Sai is still radiating Uncomfortably Gay Vibes.

And Neji is (certainly) not a prude.

--

When Uzumaki comes back with a pink squealing ball in his hands, Neji contemplates world peace and its relation to his current state of sanity (the conclusion is that there is absolutely no relation whatsoever and whoever may think that there is one can just go to hell). In the end, Neji decides that Friendship! and Rainbows! really aren't worth the trouble of the plastic keychains, and then bashes his head against the convex geometry textbook.

Lee throws a fist in the sky. "Guy-sensei! Today I conquered seishun!"

WATCH NOBUTA WO PRODUCE TODAY!

"Hey Neeeeeji~ How did the babysitting go?"

"Oh, fuck you."