A/N: This is for Gemini Malfoy-Potter and Utena-Puchiko-nyu. I hope you like it!
Noah used to think that he would be giving "the talk" to his daughter. Back at when Quinn was pregnant with Beth, he thought that he was going to get to play the protective father of his princess, keeping boys away because he knew what boys wanted. Turns out, that being the father of a sixteen year old boy was the same. He still wanted to scare away every boy that wanted to get close to his son because yeah, he had been sixteen once and he remembered really well what teenage boys wanted.
So now he was sitting in front of his son. Mark never got rid of the mohawk much to Kurt's displeasure and had added a piercing to his eyebrow just a week before. Noah knew that if he had been looking like that at sixteen, Burt would never have let him near his precious boy.
"So," Noah started, clearing his throat. "You want to date this boy."
"Not date. I want to sleep with him," Mark looked up at his father like he was stupid not to get it. "I don't even know why we're having this conversation. He's coming to pick me up in an hour anyway."
"Mark, why don't you try to date him? I mean when I was your age, I banged everything with a pulse, but I thought you kids would be different."
Mark rolled his eyes and leaned back against the couch crossing his arms in front of his chest reminding Noah of Kurt. "Dad, look, I just want to sleep with him, okay? He's a little older so he'll know what we're doing and..."
"Woah, stop right there!" Noah held his hands up and glared at his son. "Don't talk like that, okay? It sounds so fucking cheap and believe me, "he knows what he's doing," never works. It's stupid, I know all about it. Now, listen," he got up and went to sit down next to his son. "I'm not good with this stuff because no one ever talked to me about it, but your father always told me that we had to wait, that he didn't want to throw himself around, that he wanted to be sure, you know? I thought he was scared and I teased him about it," Noah smiled and shook his head. "We fought a lot about that but what I'm trying to say is, if you think that in order to be with this guy you have to sleep with him, then just tell him to go fuck himself."
"Being boys doesn't mean that it doesn't matter," Kurt cut in walking inside the living room.
Mark looked at him annoyed. "You were eavesdropping again."
Kurt ruffled his mohawk and sat down on the other side of his son. "Considering the advices your dad gives, you bet I was." He ignored the look his husband was sending him and slid an arm around Mark's shoulders to bring him closer. "If you need to know where to put what and what to do to get screams loud enough to wake the neighbors, we can tell you all about that and even how to be sure to hit the..."
"Eww dad stop it!" Mark pulled himself out of his father's grasp and got up from the couch. Despite the letterman jacket, the mohawk and the piercing, he still looked like a kid and Kurt was trying really hard not to just shout at him that he was too young and lock him up in the house.
Noah laughed. "He was joking. We're not going to tell you how to be good in bed, you're a Puckerman and a Hummel, you'll be great and there's always Google for that. But what we want to make sure of, is that you understand that just because you're a boy, doesn't mean that it doesn't matter."
"See? Even he got it at one point," Kurt joked pointing to his husband.
Mark sighed and looked at his fathers with an expression on his face that was a mix between exasperation and embarrassment. "I just... I really like him."
"Does he like you back?" Noah asked.
"Yeah he does. He's a Senior and he's in the football team with me. He's the quarterback." He couldn't help but smile a little thinking about his boy. "I've kind of been seeing him over the summer."
Noah let out an angry, "What?" while Kurt laughed. "I knew that there was something going on. You can barely stand your cousin and suddenly you were always hanging out with him?"
"Who's the guy?" Noah asked. "Wait, you said he's the quarterback?" he asked bewildered.
Mark shrugged and for a moment he almost didn't answer but he was always honest with his fathers, except for when he had got his piercing while he was at the mall with his best friend, so he just said, "Yeah. His name is Alan Karofsky."
Kurt stopped smiling and Noah narrowed his eyes looking ready to kill.
"You're not going to see that boy, okay?" they both said at the same time.