V cares little for weaklings, much less defectors blinded by their own heart. To have betrayed everything in the name of love is foolish, and easy to take advantage of.
For having betrayed everything in the name of love, they kill the one he loves the most.
For having defected from his position in the organization, they take away his son as replacement.
They name him 'Ken'. Not in hope, but in demand.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Ken is not fond of his name.
Healthy and strong… it is a reminder of his purpose. The fact that he is not allowed to be a child.
He prefers the one his caretaker gifts him when they are alone.
"I'll call you Kaneki," Banjou says, "It means golden tree. Firm, but life-giving, and full of possibilities."
It gives him hope that death is not the only future he is set to face.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The mask they give him is a mockery of his heritage.
A red heart sits over his right eye, stark against its white surface. It stands for the love that bore him, the beautiful, unconditional bond that led to his birth.
It fails to hide the monstrous grin on his face, fails to detract from the mark of death that sits on his other eye.
He is born of love, but he is still a monster.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Kaneki is only ten when he makes his first kill.
His target is a human man, dark-haired and strong-jawed with piercing eyes and a fierce mouth. He cares little for Kaneki's age, not when he has his own child to protect, huddled away somewhere in the house after he's been told to escape.
"What? Do they think so lowly of me that they decided to just send a kid?" The man taunts. Despite his words, he swings at Kaneki like he is dealing with a true fighter. Kaneki whispers movements, tricks and trades underneath his breath as he dodges, but his body moves like fighting is the only dance it has ever known.
It is a must that he performs it well.
"That's not the case," he says, grunting as the man pierces his side with the quinque. It disorients him, and other children might have turned and ran, but Kaneki is not like any other child.
"In fact,"
The man watches as the gash in his abdomen stitches itself up in mere seconds, and the distraction is enough for Kaneki to ram all four of his kagune into his chest.
"It's quite the opposite."
The man gurgles, blood spilling out of his mouth in rivers as Kaneki forcefully pulls out his heart.
He has never been more thankful for being a mutant.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"You're not a mutant," Banjou had told him, carding his fingers through Kaneki's dark hair. Training had just ended, and the responsibility of caring for Kaneki's mental health had once again fallen to him. It is a task he eagerly carries, one his gentle heart allows him to do without compromising the majority of his virtues. Sometimes Kaneki wonders why he is even working here.
Still, he adores him, his shield.
"Ok," Kaneki had replied. It is not an agreement. One man's words is not enough to combat a hundred's, Kaneki thinks. But if saying that is enough to make Banjou happy, then he'll gladly smile and pretend to believe it.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Papa?"
Startled, Kaneki turns around at the sound of the voice and sees a kid, far younger than him. Doe-eyed and terrified, Kaneki recognizes him as the son his target had been so adamant to protect.
Leave no witnesses, V had said.
"P-Papa!" the kid cries again, stuttering in his tears at the sight. Kaneki's rinkaku glows behind him like fox tails made of blood, and the room is lit in an eerie shade of red, "Papa! Papa!"
He doesn't even need his kagune for this. All he needs to do is snap his neck.
"Wake up! Wake up!" The child sobs, running past Kaneki and straight to the man's cooling corpse. He grabs the man's face with chubby hands and blubbers at the blood that seeps from his mouth, at the brilliant streaks of red smeared across his face.
He's distracted, Kaneki thinks. It would be so easy...
The boy abruptly looks up, and meets Kaneki's eyes through his mask. He looks back, prepared to face the fear, the anger he is expecting to see, but neither of them are present.
Instead, he finds grief, and an overwhelming force starts to weigh on his chest.
"Why?"
Kaneki steps back, bile rising in his throat, and flees.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The punishment he receives is enough to erase the guilt from his mind.
Banjou holds him close after the ordeal, whispers that he had made the right choice.
Kaneki wonders.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Six years pass.
Kaneki leans against a dumpster in a deserted alley and waits for his wounds to heal. His mask is shattered a few feet away from him, and he can feel the blood that trails from his temples.
His mind is dizzy, ridden with pain, and he guesses it's the reason why she was able to sneak up on him.
"Are you alright?!"
He gasps in shock and writhes, pain lacing up his side at the movement. Hands, soft and slender, cup his face and he stares into dark, melancholic eyes.
"I'll help you, ok?"
Weak. He is too weak to fight her.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
She cares for his wounds with a gentleness that he is unaccustomed to. For all the softness of his heart, Banjou's large hands are unable to match her own, and Kaneki warms at the smile that she graces him with.
'Could you care for me?' Kaneki thinks, 'Even if you know what I am?'
The window is open when she returns, and a cold, biting wind is all that he leaves.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
When he sees her again, Kaneki allows himself to believe it is fate.
"You look much better now!" she laughs, a gentle hand in his hair.
He swallows the blood that lingers on his tongue and clasps her hand in his own.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"I'm so happy you've found love," Banjou tells him as he recounts their encounters in hushed tones, wary of eyes and ears in the walls.
"Love," Kaneki echoes.
He is in love.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Her face is beautiful, even in gray, Kaneki thinks.
He grips the picture in his hand, chokes down a scream at the words that are scribbled behind it, daunting.
'Kill her.'
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
She is crying. Screaming.
"How could you?! How could you?!"
He hadn't told her because-
"I didn't know! Why did I- Oh God, why?"
He was afraid-
"I should never have helped you!"
That V was right.
"Monster!"
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"You let her escape,"
Kaneki pants, and his fingers twitch.
"I did," he replies.
A snip, and three fingers fall on the floor.
"Because you love her?"
His scream dies out.
"I do," he chokes.
Five more needles are jammed in his chest. It scalds.
"You're a fool."
Banjou's lifeless body lies across him, mangled and torn.
"I am," he cries.
"And all for nothing,"
"What?"
Something is dropped on his lap. Kaneki looks down, and sees her head, face frozen in an endless scream.
Static starts to buzz in his head.
"You should know better than to think you can ever be loved."
He snaps.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Ken idly licks at the blood on his fingers, a crown of red draped on his white, white hair as he sits on a throne of flesh and bones.
"From this point on, you answer to me."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Pleeeease, Nagachika-kun? We really, really need you!"
Hide chuckles, scratching his head, "Aw man, senpai. You really don't have to do that. I'll be happy to help!"
Koma looks up at him in surprise, "Wait, really? Aren't you busy?"
Hide grins and shakes his head, "College has been good to me this week, honestly, so I've got a lot of time to spare. And besides, it'd go against my values to just leave you and Irimi-san here to slave away while Touka-chan sits on her butt all da-ouch!"
Touka grunts, "So says the guy who was probably going to spend the rest of his weekend gorging on junk food if he didn't have work to do. Unlike you, I'm actually going to get some studying done while I still can."
Koma rubs his head sympathetically as Hide whines pitifully, but Touka only turns up her nose on him and throws a uniform at his head, "Just go change! It's bad enough that we have to let the customers see your ugly mug all day, so like hell are we going to let you out in those rags!"
"Why is she always so mean to me?" Hide sighs, a teasing note in his voice that Koma easily catches and laughs at.
"Because you keep provoking her, that's why," He rolls his eyes, pushing Hide into the staff room, "She's right though. Go change! I still need to go back and help Irimi, you know."
"Oh right, sorry!" Hide winces, "I'll do my best!"
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Despite her words, Koma knows Touka thinks Hide would do a great job as a waiter. He is friendly, observant, and an efficient worker, all ideal traits in a server.
He also knows she doesn't actually think he's ugly.
Hide leaves a table of high school girls giggling and staring at him, effortlessly listing down an overly-complicated order that Koma is unsurprised to find he memorized. At his nod, Hide immediately darts over to Irimi, carefully taking a tray in his hand and gliding over to a table to cheerfully greet a petite old woman. She chuckles at his attentions, pleased at his politeness and charm, and regretfully waves him away when it is clear she has her order.
"Honestly," Koma mutters to himself.
"I can't think of anyone that kid couldn't charm."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Nagachika-kun, would you mind taking this to table number eight?"
"Of course!" Hide replies. He reaches over to take the tray but pauses when Irimi gently grabs his hand, "Irimi-san?"
Irimi bites her lip, "Before you go, I have to warn you. This customer can be quite... eccentric."
"Um, okay?" Hide blinks, "Is this customer some sort of psychopath or something? Does he kill small animals for fun?"
"Ah, no. He is actually quite famous. He works as an editor for Takatsuki Sen. Have you heard of her?"
"I think? Um, my Lit professor might have mentioned her in class."
"Yes, well. He is often credited to be part of her success. It is said she also finds great inspiration from him."
"That's cool," Hide grins, "Sounds interesting. Now I really wanna go meet him!" He slides out of her grip and turns back to the main room, already darting between tables to the other side of the cafe.
"Be careful!" Irimi calls out after him.
"What's the worst that can happen?" Hide laughs.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Long fingers curl around his wrist, a vice on his hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Hideyoshi-kun."
The man's voice is velvet and sin.
"My name is Hayate Naoki."
Caught in those eyes, he feels like prey.
"Stay with me for a bit, won't you?"
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Notes:
* The mask mentioned above is the one worn by Kaneki in the Oneshot.
* Yes, Hayate Naoki is Kaneki. :)