I don't own anything from Ben 10. How hard it is to keep this guy in character for more than five minutes? Answer: Hard! Or perhaps I am simply lazy.
One day in the seemingly endless and bleak confines of the Null Void, hunky conqueror, D'Void, also known by anyone else with cognitive processing skills and eyes as Doctor Animo because it's obvious, woke up in his fabulous citadel slash mansion, feeling a mite peckish.
"I'm hungry and I demand COOKIES," he snarled loudly. He stood up and made a very dramatic pose, clenching his fist within the air.
No one was around to see him do it and he felt a little awkward afterwards.
He picked up his DIGITAL CLOCK and checked the time. It was Poo-Diddly Squat FKUC-4LL 001 pm. He frowned.
"What the shit is this even doing here? CLOCKS DO NOT WORK IN THE NULL VOID!"
He threw the clock. It smashed into the wall.
After smoothing his perfect hair down, he viewed his surroundings. He spotted his awesome Hugh Hefner robe laying draped across a chair. He took it. He put it on.
"Now I look like a total pimp," he said. And truth be told, he did. "I am going to slap some hoes."
After declaring such, he walked from the bedroom and descended the spiral staircase that was carved out of the bones of dragons. Alien dragons. Or whatever kind of reptiles with large bones they might have been. Feel free to use your imagination, if you have any. Thinking is hard.
As he reached the middle to last step, his foot squished on something wet, nasty, and cold. It was also quite pointy. He screamed in time with whatever it was which also screamed. The scream was loud enough to shatter the nearby windows. They unfortunately were made of stained glass. It cost a lot. Don't bother asking how they got pristine and elaborately crafted stained glass in the Null Void until you answer me how there's a digital fucking alarm clock first.
"Aaaaah, fuck!" D'Void yelled. His shrieking Null Guardian baby-daughter thing was sobbing hysterically, having been trampled by his wayward footing. "Stop, please! Stop screaming! Stop crying! My ears will surely bleed," he shouted in an attempt to drown out the hideous noise. It did not. The baby-daughter thing proceeded to vomit acidic spew onto his foot in revenge. "OW!"
D'Void hopped on one foot while holding it. He lost his balance and tumbled down the stairs. The sadistic omnipotent baby Null Guardian creature laughed at him.
"That's it!" D'Void screamed in a berserker rage. "I am going to fucking murder you dead, you useless canon-raping piece of weeaboo concocted shit!"
He sprung to his feet and chased the evil creature back up the stairs as it shrieked and cried hysterically. He cornered it, but two other full grown Null Guardians appeared out of nowhere and blocked his path.
"Out of my way, I command it!" he ordered. They didn't move. They opened their mouths and vomited in his face. He wiped it off while coughing and gagging at the stench and wincing at the painful burn. "Why do you oppose my control? I'm D'VOID! I am YOUR MASTER! And I AM AWESOME!"
The Null Guardians did not think such. They laughed in his face. They telepathically communicated that his outfit was stupid and so was his hair. D'Void's mouth dropped open in complete shock. The sheer audacity. The gal.
His power began to fade as he self-esteem rapidly eroded. He teared up, his bottom lip trembling. "No, I'm cool! You don't understand," he sobbed. "This is my big moment. I'm...awesome!" He collapsed to his knees, severely emotionally wounded by the jarring statements against his rebooted persona. "Awesome!" he whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks.
The Null Guardians grunted at him. They motioned to the ugly little baby-thing that he had for whatever reason decided to adopt and treat like a schmoopy princess instead of a weapon of mass destruction and chaos.
He blinked in astonishment while sitting up. "That's YOUR baby?" D'Void developed newfound strength at the premise of no longer being forcibly attached to the baby-thing. Like huge burdensome shackles had been released from around his very soul. "By all means then, take it away! Far, far away."
And so the larger Null Guardians left. But not before spewing once again, now as a family unit, into D'Void's unreasonably handsome face. He actually did not mind, for once, despite the intense burning. He waved at the trio as they flew into the nonexistent sunset.
"Goodbye! Don't forget to write! Only don't," he called, wiping away a single tear. It was from the acidic residue in the monster's bile, not because he cared or anything like that. He jumped into the air and threw up his hands in utter joy. "All right! I'm finally free from that creepy Black Hole Sue baby-thing's nightmarish control! Now I can get some hoes and order them to bake me cookies! And the RULE THE WORLD!"
D'Void snapped his fingers. A bunch of Null Guardians flew in and swirled around his presence obediently.
"You all will go out and fetch me some fine bitches. Bring them back to my quarters, so that they may serve their unquestionable lord and master, D'Void!"
He snapped his fingers again in a spicy Z-motion while moving his head back and forth. The Nulls obeyed immediately and flew outside to do their work.
"Now I shall rest my magnificently toned buttocks upon my kingly throne," D'Void declared, seconds before he sat where a throne should have been, had he commissioned one to be built. So instead, he fell to the floor. "Oh, damn it. I forgot. That was on my list of things to do weeks ago, but that Screamy-Meemie thing ate it."
He laid on the floor, his head rested upon one hand and his elbow on the floor, or however that anatomical position goes, and stared pensively at the wall.
"I have all this power...and yet I feel quite unfulfilled in some way," he muttered. "I need to get more material possessions for my awesome swanky pad. Perhaps I shall have one of the slaves, or a dozen, build me a solid gold toilet. I don't even know if this place has gold. It'll be fun to watch the slaves try and do it anyway." He threw back his head and laughed an evil laugh. Then his stomach growled. He slid a hand over it. "I really wish I had some cookies."
The Null Guardians flew back in and deposited their captured slave babes onto the floor. Most of them were weird looking alien females that weren't conventionally attractive in the normal sense, but they had that Star Wars erotic vibe that turned all the xenophiles on so bad. One was a human woman. She had long, flowing, red hair, pale skin, and freckles. I won't go into detail on her clothes, for the moment that happens she will be instantly granted the powers of an omniscient being. And we sure as hell don't need another one of those right now.
D'Void smiled. "You slaves will make me some cookies. Now!" He snapped in their collective direction and gestured towards the kitchen. "Make sure they're delicious."
"We don't know how to bake," one of the alien women said while frowning. She shivered. She appeared very fearful for her virginity. But at the same time, a bit curious as she stole a good long glimpse of D'Void's massive pectorals.
"What? You're a woman! How do you not know how to bake?" D'Void inquired, looking positively stunned at the revelation.
"We weren't all raised in an overtly sexist society," another one of them said.
"I was," the human woman said timidly.
D'Void put on his most intimidating face. He made little squinty eyes. "Well, you'll all learn. Or face the consequences!"
One other alien woman winced while trembling behind the slave in front of her. "Full life consequences?" she inquired nervously.
"YYYYEEES," D'Void bellowed. He raised his arms. He flexed.
The women gasped at the sight of such bulging, muscular, testosterone poisoned toxic masculinity. Despite not being raised in overtly sexist societies, the power of D'Void's evil manly might overwhelmed the rest of the group of alien females, quickly dominating them all into frightened submission. Their fragile feminine sensibilities couldn't handle it. They bowed down before the unquestionable power of the 7'5'' phallus-wielder before them. They fled into the safety of the kitchen, squealing in terror. There came the sound of pans scattering and cabinets being rummaged through moments later.
D'Void looked smug. Soon, he would have many tasty cookies.
After two hours of waiting with no results, D'Void became increasingly inpatient. He got up and walked to the kitchen.
"I had better find cookies when I walk into this kitchen, or all of you are going to get an ass whipping like nobody's business," he roared.
Instead of cookies, he found a huge mess and a baking tray with what looked like it could possibly but maybe not be some cookies on it. They were more like blobs of half cooked dough, barely rounded or shaped properly. The slaves were huddled in the corner, looking scared. They were crying. One of them was dead on the floor. It might have been from exhaustion, or perhaps heart failure from fear trauma.
D'Void blinked with confusion. He put a hand to his forehead. "What the hell happened here? You couldn't even bake some simple cookies?"
The women sobbed hysterically while clinging to each other. "The only ingredients we could find were a bunch of random leftovers in the refrigerator. And that weird glowing yellow rock stuff," they cried. "We tried our best, lord D'Void. Please, don't kill us!"
D'Void raised an eyebrow several increments in measure once he heard about the yellow glowing rock being baked into some hodgepodge hoe cookies. Essentially the equivalent of pot brownies to him. He grabbed the baking tray. "Gimmie!"
They cowered and recoiled, sobbing and whimpering as fearful females do.
D'Void looked over the cookies. They looked like shit, but they smelled okay. But how did they taste? Well, he quickly ate one and found out. "AMAZING!" he yelled.
Of course they were. They were full of kormite, the magical mineral that made him into a ridiculously buff badass superhuman tyrannical overlord king. The cookies made his strength all the more potent. He got totally wasted off about three cookies.
"THE NULL KING REIGNS SUPREME!" D'Void shouted before he stumbled against the counter and burst into a fit of giggles. He waved away the frightened hoes. "Okay, you hoes can leave now. I must summon more slaves to build me a solid gold TOILET I will never actually use! Because I DON'T EXCRETE ANY LONGER!"
He snapped his fingers. The hoes ran. More Null Guardians entered his domain and waited patiently for orders. They had to wait for D'Void to stop laughing hysterically at nothing. "Okay, you guys. You're gonna go get me some slaves. I'm gonna make them build me a solid GOLD TOILET even though I can bet none of them are plumbers. HA HA. PLUMBERS! I hate those guys." He burst into laughter again.
He snapped his fingers, failing the first time. He snapped them again. This time he made the sound.
The Null Guardians left to do their jobs.
D'Void fell to the ground, still laughing hysterically. He grabbed his sides. Everything was so funny. He wiped away a tear from the corner of his bloodshot eye. "Damn, those were some good cookies. I wonder if this is all a dream. Maybe I'm still in jail, back on Earth. That would, like, totally messed up, man." He passed out.
It very well could have been the plot twist of this story. But it wasn't.
D'Void woke up to a lot of yelling from outside. He groaned and began to walk to the door. He reached the door and stepped outside. He went down the stairs. He saw, who else...Ben Tennyson...along with all the Plumber's Helpers and the rebel forces.
"Ah, so it was a dream. But not the dream I was expecting," D'Void mumbled. "That was a really weird dream, though."
Ben ran up to where Doctor Animo was. "Hey, Animo, are you still a doctor?" he yelled.
"Huh?" D'Void exclaimed while looking confused.
Ben shook his head, frowning. "You're supposed to say WHAT, you dip!"
"I'll say whatever I want! And there's nothing you can do about it this time, Tennyson," retorted D'Void. Or if you prefer, Doctor Animo. "I am all-powerful and Godlike right now. You would do well to fear me."
"Ha, keep dreaming. I have the Omnitrix," Ben said before turning into Humungousaur and beating the shit out of D'Void by smashing him with his giant fist right into the cement. "That's how you pound down a crooked nail, bitch!"
"That didn't hurt, you idiot. I'm invulnerable," D'Void sneered as he stood up without so much as a scratch on him. He retaliated by kicking Ben in his big Jurassic gonads.
"OW, MY GIANT DINOBALLS!" Ben-mungousaur, or Humungou-Ben yelled. He stumbled backward and collapsed to the ground in a giant pile of rubble with an extremely loud smashing sound.
Doctor D'Voidamo laughed triumphantly. "I'm finally going to kick your ass, Ben Tennyson!"
Ben shook off his daze. "That's sounds like something that will never happen, Animo." He changed into Big Chill. When D'Void tried to punch him, it went through.
"Hey, stop that! No fair!" D'Void punched at the air futilely. "That's cheating!"
"Nope. And if that's not pissing you off enough, just watch me do this," Ben Chill said before he jumped into the drill-furnace.
"Oh no, my grandson and savior of the universe just committed suicide in order to save this dimension and the earth," Grandpa Wrench exclaimed. "What a hero. So selfless."He wiped away a single tear.
"You idiot," D'Void said as he walked up behind Max. "You clearly saw that he went Big Chill before falling into the opening."
"Oh yeah," said Max. He chuckled warmly, his soft eyes twinkling with wise old elder purity and goodness. "Guess I was just enjoying the melodrama." He raised his battle stick up and twirled it. His eyes a got serious look in them as he faced off with D'Void. "So...how you been?"
D'Void glared intensely. "I've been having a long and shitty week. Beating you into a pulp should make me feel a lot better."
Shockingly, in a twist no one saw coming...only everyone saw it coming...Max punched D'Void in the face and it really, really, REALLY hurt. Ben had iced up the drill-furnace and shut it down, ruining all of D'Void's power absorption and strengthening at that very moment, rendering him once again into a 190 lb weakling. Or how ever much his regular weight is.
"On no, I'm weak as shit again!" D'Void cried out, now helplessly pinned beneath Max's powerful and much stronger grip.
"Don't worry, Animo. I'll take good care of you and nurse you back to your old self over the course of a few dozen weeks or so," Max cooed into his ear. "I'll help you get off those drugs with my 22 step program. All 22 steps involve my penis going into your butt at various speeds and angles."
"Aaaaah, not again," D'Void groaned before passing out on the ground.
"Hey, I can't get back up, my wings are stuck together!" Ben yelled up from below. "Little help here?"
"You'll have to wait, Ben. Grandpa's busy," Max called to him, a lusty grin on his face as he continued pulling down D'Void's pants.
"This is the kormite filled cookies I smoked, right? It has to be, oooouuuuuh," D'Void slurred incoherently. He let out a shocked yelp when he felt an invading finger in his private orifice. They were very cold. "AH, IT'S NOT A DREAM! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!"
"Relax, it's only a spoon," Max said.
"Spoons don't GO in there!" yelled D'Void.
"Neither do penises," Max moaned into his ear, "but it still works out in the end. Ha, get it? Now let's make with the sweaty, grunt-filled men over 50 buttsex."
D'Void groaned as he laid his head on the ground, looking very uncomfortable and tired. "End the story already. I'm starting to like all this molestation against my will. And you know where that will lead!"
END (?)