Every time We Say Goodbye
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I ever want to. I also don't own the song that goes along with it. I do own Lily though.
A/N: Listen to Every Time We Say Goodbye by Ray Charles and Betty Carter
The sound of rain falling upon the window pane is a steady rhythm.
The grandfather clock is ticking slowly away and with every move of the seconds hand is a signal that time is running out.
The dripping sound coming from the sink in the kitchen rang out against the silence of the house.
Then there came a movement followed by muffled sounds coming from a room down the hallway.
I slowly walked toward the bedroom that the noises were coming from. As I took the door knob into my hands and turned it gradually, the picture in front of me was completely heartbreaking. A little girl, my little girl, was clutching onto a man like at any moment he would disappear. The man was holding onto the girl just as ardently like he was running out of air and she was the answer to his problems.
"Da-Daddy. Stt...sta..st-ay!" The little girl sniffled. Those little words were hard enough to pronounce for the four year old, let alone saying it while crying.
"You know I want to Lily-Bee, but I must go you know that" the man tried to explain with the same amount of sadness laced in his voice as the little girl.
The little girl continued to sniffle as the dad held her and said sweet nothings in her ear. Lily would nod her head every so often to what ever her father whispered to her.
I took in my surroundings, while watching this exchange. The walls were painted pink and yellow for a girly theme, so said Lily's godmother. On my left side was a small children's bed with the covers matching the walls. Strewn at one end of the bed were stuffed animals that have been accumulated over the years, from birthdays to winnings from carnival booths. At the end of the bed was a small desk that currently held boxes of crayons and markers as well as a variety of CDs that children would appreciate. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself thinking that Lily was definitely her father's daughter. He most likely gave her the gene for the obsession with the different genres of music. I mean his collection is more impressive than that of a music store.
On the right side of the wall were the dresser and another door that led into the closet. Once again I can't help but shake my head at the dresser and closet. Both of them was overflowing with clothes that either haven't been worn with the tag still on or worn only once. That godmother of hers was spoiling her child like mad. In the corner the furthest away from me was the rocking chair that I have had since I was born.
I was still directing my eyes around the room, trying my best not to look him in the eye or his face. If I did, I most surely would crumble the façade that I currently had put up. I kept telling myself that I needed to be strong. Strong for Lily, for me, as well as him.
My eyes sense movement and I saw that he finally shifted in his seat on the rocking chair in the corner of Lily's room to where I was standing, leaning against the door jam. I had my arms crossed in front of my chest, trying to keep the hole in my heart from ripping open. I knew it would hurt, but I didn't think it would hurt this much. For once the weather reflected on the mood I was in.
He picked up Lily as he got up from his seat and moved toward me, with as much grace as the wind. Just as he reached me, he took my hand, without saying a word, and led me to the living room.
The instant his hand touched mine, it sparked a fire, a fire that could not even take all the oceans in the world to distinguish. There always seems to be an electric shock when he touched me. After these several years, we both have gotten used to it but it still amazes me how it could happen.
We all treaded into the living room. On the ground by the couch were three suitcases fully packed, a carry-on bag and a laptop case. It saddened me once I took in the luggage. Luggage usually meant traveling not matter how far or wide, which also meant it would not be home.
With him using one of his hands to hold mine and the other carrying Lily, he maneuvered us to where the luggage was. I slowly laid my head against his shoulder and just starred at the bags. As if my starring would make it all disappear. We spent what felt like a few hours but really a few minutes just standing there holding each other.
While we just stood there, I kept asking why him? Why not someone else who is as or more qualified? I may seem selfish but I couldn't help it, anyone could have taken his place. I continued to ponder this while I held the hand to the love of my life. This was too much for me to handle, we have never been away from each other for more than a week, and even then it was hard. Now, now he was going to leave me for a month and a half. I don't care what people say, how there are phones, email, webcams and so forth. None of that can compare to the real thing and having his warmth next to me.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when he started moving his hand. I turned to see confused and a little hurt by his actions.
He looked at me, reassuring me with his gaze, full of devotion and love, that he did not want to let go as well.
"It's about time, love" he slowly said. When he said this Lily only held him closer and tighter as did I.
We stood around for another few minutes just listening to the sound of our breathing and our hearts thumping away. That is until we heard the honking of a car outside.
We all turned in the direction of the sound and turned back to look at each other with so much sadness in our eyes.
He put Lily down so that he could carry his bags out of the door. When we got to the door, a man in uniform was already there to help with the luggage. After the luggage was handed over, the man gave a small nod.
He turned back around to Lily and I and held us both tightly. He lifted Lily's chin so that he could kiss Lily on her forehead and her two red cheeks.
Then he turned to me and gave me a smile that did not reach his eyes. He started kissing my eyelids, kissing away the tears that I did not even notice had started to fall.
"Don't cry love. I will be home soon. Don't cry, my angel. It hurts to see you cry" he whispered in between butterfly kisses to my face.
"I-I…j-ju-just…don't want y-you to go…" I stuttered, trying to control my breathing which was bothering hysteria.
"Why can't someone else go?" I asked, more controlled now.
"You know there is no one else better" he sighed.
"But--" I was cut off.
"People need me out there. The injured men need me and you know I am well known for these types of surgeries. We had this discussion before" as he ran a hand through his disarrayed bronze hair, obviously frustrated.
"Just be safe. Promise me" I demanded, holding back my tears.
"Promise me, Edward" I repeated, more like begged.
"I promise, Bella. I promise that I won't let myself come to harm."
Edward went back to holding me and Lily. With the rain pouring down and us saying goodbye to each other, it reminded me of an old song. Every time We Say Goodbye, by Ray Charles and another singer I am not familiar with. We used to listen to this song on the extensive stereo with a glass of wine. But now the song has a whole new meaning for me.
"Bella, it's time for me to leave."
I just simply held him tighter to me in response. I needed a few more minutes.
"I love you, Bella. I love you, Lily." He said, as he kissed our foreheads in turn.
"Lily-bee, you're going to be big girl right?" Edward asked.
"Y-yes daddy!" Lily bobbed her head up and down ardently.
"Will you watch mommy for me while I am gone?"
"I wa-will vatch mommy for you." She patted Edward's cheeks.
Edward then turned to me, tracing my cheeks with his thumb. His emerald eyes were scorching me with the look he was giving me.
"I love you Bella. Be safe." He murmured with his forehead resting against mine.
"I love you, too. Be safe and come home soon." My tears were now rolling down my cheeks like a river.
Edward moved forward and gently kissed my lips but it quickly deepened. He caressed my bottom lip with his tongue and I immediately opened my mouth to him. Our tongues didn't battle but simply caressed each other. My one hand went up to the back of his neck where I could hold him in place. He soon pulled away so we could both breathe. He kissed Lily on both cheeks and slowly pulled out from our embrace.
Edward then turned and ran to the car trying to escape the heavy raindrops. Once he closed the door, he rolled down the window to blow us kisses. We watched as the car started to move away and Lily was blowing kisses back toward her dad.
I simply held Lily close to me as I watched the love of my life speed off to fly to Iraq to treat some of the more critical injuries that the soldiers have.
That song was right. Every time Edward and I part I do feel like a small part has died a little. But with every goodbye no matter how sad, there is the joy of knowing that we will be together again soon.