I don't own any of the characters from The Dark Knight, or Jeopardy. But what fun life would be if I did.
Host: Hello, and welcome to Jeopardy, Dark Knight style! We have some very special contestants in the studio today, and here they are now!
*Three figures walk to podiums*
Host: First, we have Batman!
Batman: *Looks around* Uh…Hi.
Host: Next, we have The Joker!
Joker: *cackles* Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooo!
Host: And, last but certainly least, Harvey Dent!
*Rachael is the only one clapping*
Harvey: *scowls* You all suck.
Host: And I'm Jessica, the host, filling in for Alex Trebek, who was discovered murdered just five minutes ago!
Joker: *Falls over podium, laughing hysterically*
Everyone: *Looks at Joker*
Batman: I can't believe you.
Jessica: *fist pump* CALLED IT!
Harvey: No sh--, Sherlock.
*Rachael is the only one laughing*
Harvey: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Everyone: *Ignores Harvey*
Jessica: Alright then, let's begin tonight-
Joker: *Pulls out knife* With some anarchy???
Jessica: No. With categories.
Joker: *puts knife away* *grumbles*
Jessica: Anyway, the categories are-
Batman: I'd like to solve, please?
Everyone: *stares at Batman*
Joker: Do you even know where you are right now?
Batman: Uh……………*long silence* I'm conflicted?
Harvey: The suit's probably suffocating him.
*Rachael's gone to the bathroom*
Jessica: Nobody cares, Harvey.
Joker: *laughing* The suit's probably suffocating him.
*Audience laughs at insight*
Harvey: F--- you all.
Jessica: OKAY, THE CATEGORIES ARE-
Harvey: But what about-
*Jessica blows Harvey's head off*
*Joker picks up head and laughs*
Batman: *throws up* EWWWWWWWW! Oh god, how am I gonna clean this????
Joker: I'll help you out! *throws head at Batman*
Batman: *throws up again* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs around terrified and destroys set* *collapses*
Alfred: *Leaps from audience* MASTER WAYNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!!! *begins mouth-to-mouth*
Joker: Wayne? Like Bruce Wayne?
Harvey: *alive* No sh--, Sherlock.
*nobody cares*
Jessica: Alfred, you're really workin' it there.
Joker: Can I try? *laughs hysterically*
Alfred: NO! *goes back to sucking Batman's face*
Jessica: Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick. Alfred, can you-
Alfred: I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE HIM! I LOVE THIS MAN! I LOVE HIM! WHY DO YOU THINK I KILLED HIS PARENTS, HUH? SO I COULD ALWAYS BE WITH HIM!!!!!
Everyone: *stares at Alfred nervously*
Joker: *staring at Alfred* I feel strangely attracted to you right now.
Jessica: *barfs on joker*
Joker: You messed up the suit!!!! *pulls out knife*
Jessica: *Feels need to strangle Joker* *Strangles Harvey instead*
Harvey: WHAT DID I DO?!?!??!?!?!?!?
Batman: *alive* Hey guys, what'd I miss?
Jessica: Uhhhh……
Harvey: *dead*
Alfred: *gives death stare to everyone* Nothing, Master Wayne. So good to have you back.
Joker: Alfred's a total crazy nut-man. HIGH FIVE, ALFRED!!!! DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD IT IN YA'!
Everyone: *secretly laughs at "nut-man"*
Batman: Alfred….?
Joker: Alfred…hahaha....he….hahaha…
Batman: WHAT????? *pouts* Are you guys talking about me behind my back?
Alfred: *stares intensely at Batman* Never, Master Wayne. YOU'RE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *starts sobbing*
Joker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….
Batman: TELL
ME!!!!
Jessica: *Fed up* Alfred murdered your parents, okay? Deal
with it. *gives Super-death-stare to everyone* *several eyes in the
audience burn* *starts to hiss* Now how about some…categories???
Joker: *whispering to Batman* Are your eyes burning?
Batman: *sniffling* No, but my heart is.
Joker: *Stabs batman in eyes* HOW ABOUT NOW!!!! *laughs hysterically and nearly dies*
Batman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Rachael! Rachael! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Harvey: *alive* That is so my shout.
Rachael: *still in bathroom with hand caught in paper towel dispenser*
Jessica: JOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *studio shakes* *all is quiet*
Joker: Uhhhh…yes?
Jessica: *spitting venom* Categories. C-a-t-e-g-o-r-i-e-s. NOW.
Batman: Ooooooooooooooooooh, somebody's in trouble.
Joker: How're your eyes?
Batman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Joker: *laughs hysterically*
Jessica: EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!! *punches Harvey*
Harvey: *whining* What did I doooooooooooooooooooo?
Jessica: *ignoring Harvey like everyone else* And here are the categories…
*monitors on gameboard ding*
Jessica: *reading categories* We have "The" "Joker" "owns" "all".
Joker: *Cackles and falls over podium in hysteria*
Batman: I'll take justice for 400.
Jessica: There is no justice.
Batman: OH, ISN'T THERE????? *punches Joker*
Harvey: I don't get it.
Please review! Your input is always valued! Heh, maybe not ALWAYS, but still…it's nice to know what you guys think!