Title: Everything I Do
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Author: Beloved Slayer
Rating: T
Summary: Seasons change. Colors fade. People grow. And with those changes comes a possibility that Angel may finally return to me after all these years.
Author's Notes: This one shot takes place sometime after Buffy and Angel had ended. It's in Buffy's point of view. All feedback and reviews are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!
I tiptoed my way across the tall pine Christmas tree, finishing off the initial decoration with the final ornament that consisted of a glitter endowed guardian angel with a pair of enlarged wings; the feather material feeling soft and lightweight against the tip of my fingers, tickling the warm skin.
It shimmered beautifully under the soft lights of the wall sconces as I placed it near the direct center of the tree, completing its' transformation before my very eyes.
It was absolutely perfect and I begin to marvel at it. If only Mom was here to see it. Somewhere in the higher plane, she probably was, and I smiled comfortingly at the thought. Everyone was together: Xander, Willow, Kennedy, Dawn, Spike, Giles, even Cordelia for that matter; anyone else that's been a part of my life during the last seven years or so. And those who couldn't be present physically were with us spiritually. All except for one, and the thought of him immediately placed a shooting pain in the center of my heart as I grimaced at the memories that were passing through my mind: our first kiss, our first night patrolling, the way his face would crinkle whenever he smiled, his deep chocolate brown eyes that sparkled with mischief. I sighed, clawing a hand through my perfectly coiffed hair, the feeling of missing him becoming unbearable by each passing minute.
It was becoming difficult just to evenly breathe.
"Buffy, are you okay?" Dawn asked, her expression one of worry. "You look out of it."
I shook my head, my mind returning to the present. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm okay, Dawnie. No biggie really."
"You miss him, don't you?"
I lowered my gaze, avoiding her eyes as I focused on the beige telephone that stood motionlessly on the cherry wood coffee table, taunting me. "I do. He should be here. So why isn't he? I'm worried something might have happened to him. I haven't heard from him in almost two years, and it's not getting any easier just constantly worrying about whether he's alive or dead. Not to mention searching for him. I don't think I can take it anymore."
"Buffy, you didn't find anything while you went on your fifth trip to L.A. a few months ago? No address or anything? Any sign that he was okay?" Dawn queried with a frown. I shook my head with a resounding no. "Nothing. Zilch. Zip. It was like he disappeared into nowhere. Or at least, sucked into some big black hole." My shoulders dropped in exhaustion, slumping. I plopped on the nearest couch, clasping my hands in anxious anticipation as Dawn strutted to fetch the telephone receiver. "Instead of moping, why don't you try calling his cell phone again? Maybe he'll answer it this time?" She handed the receiver towards me, but I shifted my focus towards the carpeted floor. Finally, I took the phone into my hands, punching in the number, my heart beating quickly against my chest.
Come on, pick up the phone," I muttered impatiently against the mouthpiece. "We're sorry, but the phone number you have dialed, has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again later."
"Damnit, I should had known." Almost immediately I could feel tears spilling from both of my eyes, my face beginning to flush with an angry crimson tone. "He didn't pick up, did he?" Dawn asked gently. "No. His phone number is disconnected," I grunted. "Do you want me to get you anything?" I shook my head, my eyes gazing through the front door, as if I was expecting him to appear at any moment. "No, it's okay. You go ahead with the others. I'll be fine," I assured, standing to my feet as I left my sister alone in the living room and headed up the stairs in remote silence.
I wanted nothing more than to sleep the night and the heartbreak away.
I entered my room, faintly noticing a light, cool breeze entering through my window as I shivered. Rubbing my arms, I walked towards the desk, opening the top drawer recklessly as I shifted letters, bottles of nail polish, and other various feminine materials aside, reaching towards an item that had been kept hidden underneath it all through out the years because of its' significance. The claddagh ring that he had given me the night we had made love for the first time. It brought back wonderful memories, but also, terrible ones that I would never forget.
It glinted under the ceiling light as I pulled it into the palm of my hand; the heart, hand, and crown facing towards me. I pulled the ring towards my left finger. It still fit perfectly, but it didn't stop the second set of oncoming tears from falling towards the carpet. I felt my love for him grow immensely at that moment, but also anger at the Fates.
"I have something for you. For your birthday. I...I was gonna give it to you earlier, but..."
"It's beautiful."
"My people-before I was changed-they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship. The crown represents loyalty. And the heart...Well, you know. Wear it with the heart pointing towards you, it means that you belong to somebody. Like this."
Everyone had someone. After Anya's death, Xander and Cordelia had decided to get back together again and give their relationship a second chance, almost right after the destruction of the City of Angels, my former home. Willow and Kennedy were getting along pretty well. Even Giles was staying in touch with his old pal Olivia. Dawn and Spike's relationship, or friendship for that matter, was continuing to blossom. Me? I had no one.
Until I heard a shuffling of branches and leaves emanating from outside my bedroom window. Instinctively, I reached for a stake that was hidden underneath my comforter as I made my way towards the open window, looking out into the snow covered streets. "Who's there?" No one answered. I tried again, using more force into my voice. "Who's there? I got a stake, you know. Don't make me use it."
"Buffy?" a familiar voice called out from underneath my window sills. "An...Angel? Is it really you?" I couldn't believe it. Abruptly, I dropped my stake as Angel's familiar form continued to climb up the large tree until his hands reached out towards my window. I pulled him towards me, using my Slayer strength to tug him through until he landed safely into my room. He hadn't aged. He was still as beautiful as I remembered, despite his bone structure revealing to be taunt, and his clothing tattered. But I noticed a difference as soon as my hands had touched his.
They were no longer cold. I glanced up towards him, amazement filling me. "How?" I simply asked. "Shanshu Prophecy. The Powers That Be rewarded me," he simply answered, locking his eyes with mine. "Could it be? Can we finally have a normal life? It's not some quasi dream, is it? You're not gonna leave me again, are you? How can I trust you not to?"
"No, Buffy. This is for real. And I'm not going anywhere; not this time. I love you more than anything, and I'm gonna spend the rest of the holiday with you, and my life. I'm staying put, you have to believe that. You have to believe that what I did years ago was for the best." With two steps forward, he pulled me into his arms, pressing his warm lips against mines. The world was gone, and just the two of us remained as I renewed the taste of his kisses, the strong feel of his arms all over again. "I understand why you did what you did. It'll take some time adjusting to you coming back. I'm just glad that you're alright. I've called so many times, and I kept searching for you when I was in L.A. I was afraid that I lost you; that you died for real," I whimpered in a sense of desperation. "I was afraid that you slipped through my fingers and that I would never see you again." I laid my head against his chest, feeling his heart beating under the palm of my right hand. It was beautiful.
"I'm sorry for scaring you like that. It wasn't done on purpose. You know I would never do such a thing. I love you too much," he confessed, placing a kiss to my forehead in a small effort to make up for the lost years. No words needed to be said then. Our lips pressed against one another, and soon, we plummeted into a world in which only our love, our bond, remained.
No matter what would happen now, or in the future, one thing was for certain. I was never going to lose him again. Through thick and thin, we will be together, and no supernatural force will ever break that bond.
We were forever.