"You know Master Splinter and Don wouldn't approve of you being out this late," a voice came from behind me.

"They don't approve of much anymore," I sighed. "Besides, when did that ever stop you?"

"Never, but that's because I've never been the best at listening to authority. You, on the other hand, almost never break the rules."

I just sigh again and rest my chin on my arms resting on the railing in front of me. The city was sprawled out in front of me as I sat with my legs dangling off an old construction building. The funding for the project was lost so now the skeleton of the building stood tall as it waited for someone new to come along and build upon it. It made for the perfect hiding spot for a ninja to be alone in. Or, at least, it was the perfect spot.

"Why are you here anyway, Raph?" I ask.

"Because I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night when everyone was supposed to be asleep and discovered my little brother was missing from his room," Raph said. "Now let me counter that with why are you up here? You're not one to run off in the middle of the night and have a sulk fest. You have those at home where you can get the most sympathy."

"Maybe because this sulk fest was supposed to be a party of one," I say, trying to steer away from his question.

Raph hums his acknowledgment before adding, "You didn't answer my question."

I let a pause draw out after the statement and Raph takes that time to walk over and sit down beside me.

"It's been nine months," I finally say. I can tell I don't need to elaborate when Raph stiffens beside me.

"Yeah," he grunts. "What about it?"

"Doesn't it at least worry you a little bit he hasn't sent a letter in weeks?" I ask.

I can tell Raph contemplates his answer with his conflicted feelings about the situation. "Maybe if it wasn't Leo I would be, but because it's him, I can't help but say I'm not all that worried." He gives me a look I just catch in my peripheral. "Are you?"

"I get these weird feelings sometimes, like something is wrong. I know it has something to do with Leo, but the feelings never get bad enough to make me think the problem is severe. It's not like I could do much if it did feel like it was that bad, though. He's thousands of miles away in South America." A sigh escapes my lips. "He said he'd tell us what was happening down there to keep us from getting worried."

"Yeah, well, it seems Leo isn't the best with promises these days," Raph mutters.

"He used to be," I say. "Him not returning home is the first true promise he made me that he broke."

I can feel the frown Raph gives at that. "Doesn't sound like he made many promises to you then."

"No, he made probably over one hundred since we were kids. Some were simple, though, like promising me he'd punch you after you broke my crayons." I smirk as Raph shoves me for the added example. My smile falls quickly though. "Sounds like he did a sucky job with promises to you."

"Yeah, well, it was hard to keep promises with all the fights we had if you didn't notice."

"Figured as much."

We sit in silence for a while and watch the headlights of cars travel through streets farther down below.

Raph breaks the silence first. "That still doesn't feel like the full reason you're up here."

"It branches off," I sigh.

"What else is it then?" he asks.

"Just some stupid stuff," I mumble.

"Mikey," Raph sighs with a bit of frustration.

"It's nothing you need to worry about," I retort.

"It is if it's gonna send you to the rooftops at midnight," Raph argues.

I just grunt and turn my head to fully face away from him.

Raph groans and I feel his shift in position. "Ugh, I suck at emotional stuff." Then his attention is back on me. "Come on Mikey, please just tell me. I'm your brother, I want to help you."

"That's just it!" I explode and turn to face him. "I don't feel like we're brothers anymore!" There's a look of astonishment on his face. "We hardly talk anymore and when we do it's mostly fighting! Everything has changed since Leo left. It feels like the family is falling apart!"

"We're not falling apart, Mikey," Raph says though he sounds skeptical of his own words.

"But we are! You sleep through the day when Donnie, Master Splinter, and I are awake, and when you are awake, that time is usually spent arguing with Donnie or Master Splinter!" He opens his mouth to argue but I ignore him and push on. "Donnie hardly does anything other than work whether that be on inventions or at his job as tech support. I rarely talk to him myself!" I'm standing up at this point and am beginning to pace. "Then Master Splinter is locked in his room half the time either meditating or doing whatever else he does in there to get all spiritually and physically powerful. We haven't even all been in the same room together since Leo stopped sending letters!"

I stop pacing suddenly and realize how hard I'm breathing from the sudden rant. I also notice Raph stood up and has a worried look on his face. The realization of what I'd all just said hits me and I feel a bit of regret.

I rub my hand over my face. "You know what, forget I just said all that. It's not that important anyway. I'm going back to the lair."

I begin to walk away but a hand on my wrist stops me.

"No, Mikey," Raph says. "This is important if it causes you to go on a rant at two in the morning to me of all people."

"Don't worry about it," I try to emphasize. I never wanted to force my problems off on Raph, especially tonight. "I'm just sleep deprived and that was me rambling. It'll all probably sound like nonsense tomorrow."

"For once I really wish I could agree with you, but what you said is true and I don't want to leave it unaddressed if it's going to cause you these problems."

I feel his grip on my wrist slacken a little as he tests to see if I'll stay or not. I decide I don't have much of a choice.

He fully lets go when he sees in my eyes I won't run. He rubs his hands over his face and I faintly hear him mumble, "This was always Leo's thing."

"Okay, look Mikey, I know right now everything is pretty awful and sort of painful to deal with, but this is like a growing period for all of us. Leo has been around our whole lives, and he's basically always been the leader, even if I say otherwise later, so we've become accustomed to what life is like living under his rules. Now, with the changing circumstances of him being gone, we're left with adapting to what he left behind, which to be honest isn't all that much. Don took charge as the only one who didn't have fluctuating moods or the inability to take lead in an effective way, no offense. The circumstances changed a bit too much though, and the pieces were left scrambled a bit too much to be fit back into a cohesive picture. Now, we are struggling to fit everything back together without the help we've always had from Leo. I won't lie to you, I don't know if it is entirely possible we will be able to go back to how we were just after Leo left and we were all fine, but we're also not as bad as we could be. I won't promise you anything because I already know that the promise will be broken, but I will try not to be so bad with ignoring you guys. It's honestly just more of how everyone is dealing with their worry and guilt about what is happening that this is happening though. None of this is all that conscious. Just-just hope Leo will come to his senses and come home. I'm not him so I can't offer any inspirational words besides that."

I look at Raph and I know I look shocked because I don't think Raph has ever been this open and honest with me. Scratch that, I don't think he's done this with anyone. Tears prick my eyes and before I can chicken out or Raph goes back to his gruff self, I surge forward and wrap my arms around Raph in a hug.

"Thank you, Raph," I whisper in his ear. "It's not the best speech I've ever been given, but it's the best I've ever gotten from you so it's good enough."

His arms twitch almost like they are going to hug me back but then Raph's mask slips back on.

"Yeah, yeah," he grunts, still softer than usual. "Do you feel better now?"

I nod past the tears.

"Good, because we want to get back home before Don or Splinter wake up and find us gone, getting us an unnecessary lecture way too early in the morning."

He gently peels my arms off of him in a practiced fashion stating how many times he's had to do it before.

"Come on," he says and walks over to the ladder leading down to the ground below.

I follow behind silently. While Raph opts to just jump down to the ground, bypassing the ladder, I climb down the ladder to be safe.

Raph waits for me on the ground before setting off for the nearest manhole cover just a block away. Neither of us say anything until we are walking down below in the sewers and almost to the lair.

"I won't tell Don about tonight," Raph says, "but he does need to know about what you said. One of the two of us needs to talk to him about of it."

I bite my lip. "I'll do it. You two seem to fight half the time so he might take it as that and actually end up turning it into an argument."

Raph scowls but nods.

We reach the lair entrance and Raph pulls the pipe to open the door to the lair. He lets me go first and then follows. The lair is fortunately still dark meaning no one is up and discovered we were gone.

I can feel the tiredness catching up to me as we make our way up to our rooms. I reach my room first and am about to go inside when a hand touches my shoulder. I turn around to face Raph.

His mouth opens as if to say something but he hesitates and seems to lose the confidence to say what he was going to say originally. He settles on just saying, "Goodnight Mikey."

He turns and walks away. "Goodnight Raph," I quietly call out after him. "And thank you again."

His door shuts and I go into my own room. I remove my mask and pads and curl up in my bed underneath the covers.

My mind has been able to calm down a little from all the thoughts clashing around in it earlier, but the biggest thought still echoing in my head is what is going on with Leo?

I sigh and pull the sheets further over my head. There will probably be no answer to that question until Leo comes back home, if he does.

Either way, I banish the thought from my head so I can focus on the more important topic of sleep.

I let my eyes slide shut and relax my muscles, quickly falling asleep.

A/N

I find it strangely satisfying that the story itself is 2007 words long and the tmnt storyline it is based off is the 2007 storyline. Am I the only one?

I also might do a second part. Maybe? Should I?