IN THE MIDDLE OF MAY
On the outskirts of Sidney, Montana, there is a motel. It was probably nice once; all evidence shows that the cracked, peeling paint used to be orange, and some time ago, there was enough electricity to light up the sign outside. Despite these lovely qualities, however, nobody ever really comes to this motel. It seems that most people like to be able to read the name of the place at which they are staying.
The last man to stay at the motel left some time ago (much to the chagrin of the owner, who is now unfortunately struggling to get by). He was a quiet man, kept to his room, except when he ran out to the nearest store to buy a sixpack. To most people, he was known as Chuck Shurley. To those in the know, he was someone else entirely.
Of course, no one but him was in the know, so that didn't matter much.
He'd come to the motel on May 14, 2010. His car was nowhere to be seen, though he did have an old typewriter tucked under one arm. He checked in with little difficulty and retreated to his room.
The room was in a dreadful state, but Chuck didn't care. There was a table to put his typewriter on, and a chair for him to sit in, and a bed for sleeping (not that he needed to, and frankly, that bed didn't look all that comfortable now that he thought about it). That was good enough for him. He smiled as he sat, poising his fingers over the worn black keys. His days of writing Supernatural were over; no one would ever read what he was about to put to paper. But it was hard to get out of the habit of putting thoughts to words, so why bother? He smiled again. Besides, if he was right, things would finally be looking up for the Winchesters. There was the small issue of Sam's soul, but that would be resolved quickly enough. Nothing but smooth sailing… oh.
Chuck leaned back in his chair, no longer smiling, cursing his own shortsightedness (which was probably as blasphemous as one could get, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. Not that there was anyone around to hear him.)
Leviathans.
Leviathans.
He'd brought Castiel back for a reason, but this was certainly not it! Surely he could think of a way to beat down Raphael without the use of such measures!
Apparently not.
Chuck closed his eyes for a moment and pondered for a moment. There was a solution to this somewhere, and he would find it.
Oh.
Oh.
Unbeknownst to pretty much everyone, the more recent apocalypse could more accurately be described as Apocalypse Mark 2. Twenty years ago, the first attempt had been made in Britain. It was averted by the Antichrist (Adam Young, who basically said screw destiny, I like things the way they are, but that's beside the current point), a witch, a witchfinder (the two got married afterward), an angel, and a demon. The whole business was quite embarrassing for both Above and Below.
That may explain why, a mere two weeks after it was all said and done, some assassination attempts were made. On the angel and demon, specifically. In that sort of thing, it's only a matter of time before someone gets killed.
Long story short, everything resulted in a dead angel and an incognito crossroads demon.
The smile returned. Honestly, he didn't know why he hadn't thought of fixing it before, but that was all about to change.
Chuck Shurley began to type.
No, no one would ever read what he was about to write. But that didn't matter. As long as it was the right words, it didn't matter.
xXx
Ineffability (And How To Avoid It)
A Fanfiction of Certain Events occurring in 2010 mostly, in strict accordance
As shall be shown with:
Good Omens
and
Supernatural
belonging to:
Messrs. Pratchett and Gaiman
and
Eric Kripke
Compiled and edited, with Footnotes of a Recreational Nature and Precepts for Anyone Who Cares, by Cati Jones
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DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Supernatural Beings
Chuck Shurley (God)
Castiel (An angel, and member of Team Free Will)
Aziraphale (An angel, deceased?)
Gabriel (A part-time archangel, part-time trickster, really bad at being dead)
Balthazar (Angel and runaway)
Raphael (An archangel, and very much against Team Free Will)
Hastur (A Fallen Angel and Former Duke of Hell)
Crowley (King of Hell, and doesn't do a lot of Sauntering these days)
xXx
Apocalyptic Horsepersons
DEATH (Death)
The others are on holiday.
xXx
Humans
Dean Winchester (A Brother)
Sam Winchester (A Brother)
Bobby Singer (A Hunter and Adoptive Uncle)
Garth Fitzgerald IV (Another Hunter)
Mr. Fizzles (Sock Puppet Extraordinaire)
xXx
Full Chorus of Monsters, Demons, Angels, Vintage Cars, and other not-so-rare and strange Creatures of Everyday Life.
And:
Whiskers (Stray cat and general Nuisance)
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A/N: Going to level with you, I've got no clue where this is going. If it's going anywhere at all. Drop me a review if you have any interest in seeing more.