I do not own Ben 10.
There is a severe lack of Azmuth fics. I shall fix this. Voila!
Being a Hero Stinks Sometimes
His room was dark. The curtains were firmly closed, blocking any light from filtering into the room and his door was locked. He ignored the demands of his parents to come out and he tuned out the insistent buzzing of his cell phone, which lay carelessly in the corner of his room. He didn't care that he was missing school. He didn't care that he would be in trouble when he finally ventured out of his room.
When Ben Tennyson was depressed, he refused to talk to anyone.
Gwen was worried about him, he knew, and he appreciated her concern. But she wasn't there. She didn't understand what he was going through.
It was his fault. He couldn't make it in time to save that little girl. At the very thought of the horrible incident, the images flashed through his brain and he flinched, clinging his head as he willed the mental slideshow to stop.
...
Ben grinned in his usual cocky way as he taunted the alien before him. "Come on. Is that the best you got?"
The large green alien snarled and charged again. Ben easily dodged and used Swapfire's vines to catch the creep by his thick ankles. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall."
It was an hour before school was to start, and after a boring week without any alien activity he was eager for a challenge. Not that any alien he met was a challenge for the great Ben Tennyson.
The green alien with a name Ben could not understand reached into his worn-out belt and pulled out a laser gun. He fired rapidly and Ben quickly ducked. The shot echoed behind him and he laughed. "You missed!"
In his gloating and teasing, he had not noticed the little blonde girl that slipped back into the mall to watch the battle. Ben had ordered the evacuation, but she was excited to see her hero up close. Her mom wouldn't mind. She would be back before she noticed.
But the little girl did not make it back. The laser blasts that had missed Ben hit the ceiling above the little girl. Tons of plaster and metal frame work toppled onto the little girl, and her shriek of horror was what made Ben whirl around.
But it was too late.
She was buried under the mess a millisecond after Ben caught a glimpse of her terrified face. He abandoned the alien tied up on the tiled floor and frantically dug through the mess. When he came upon the blonde girl, her face was pale and her bright blue eyes lifeless.
With a shaking hand, he pushed her matted blonde hair away from her forehead. He had witnessed aliens die before, and that hurt. But this...this hit him hard.
An anger that was red hot boiled inside him. Ben did not acknowledge that this was partly his fault. If he had made sure that the area was empty, this would not have happened.
But he was mad. And when he was mad, he did stupid things. He pummelled the green alien with everything he had, even after the Ultimatrix timed out and he was regular Ben Tennyson. He only stopped when the police hauled him away, ordering him to calm down.
...
Her poor mother...Ben groaned into his pillow and tried to banish the image of the sobbing woman from his memory.
He refused to believe Gwen and Kevin when they tried to convince him that this was not his fault. He had ordered the evacuation of the mall. He could not have known someone would sneak back in.
But he should have! He should have looked around!
"What kind of hero am I?" Ben whispered to himself.
"Not the one I would have chosen to be the wielder of the Omnitrix, never mind the Ultimatrix."
The sudden, familiar voice caused Ben to muster up the energy to turn his head to the side. He stared at Azmuth, who stood on his bedside table. "What are you doing here?" he asked tiredly.
Azmuth crossed his arms and said, "When you wouldn't even see your grandfather, he got worried and contacted me."
A snort escaped the boy before he could stop it. "And what makes you think I want to talk to you?"
"I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here. If you're not going to stop this pathetic pouting, then I'm going to take back the Ultimatrix like I should have done with the Omnitrix a long time ago."
Ben hastily scrambled out of bed at the well-used threat and accidental fell to the hardwood floor. He ran his fingers through his tousled brown hair and glared up at Azmuth with bright green eyes. "You have no idea what I'm going through!"
He could feel fear bubble in the pit of his stomach. If Azmuth wanted to take the Ultimatrix, he had every right to do so. He did invent it, after all-Albedo only made adjustments to it.
"So you failed to rescue one human. You can't save them all," Azmuth informed bluntly. "Wallowing away is a waste of time."
"She was only seven!" Ben exclaimed, frustrated with Azmuth's inability to understand his determination to save every life possible. "She had her whole life ahead of her! And I-and I-I couldn't save her!"
Ashamed of the tears glittering in his green eyes he faced away from the creator of the Ultimatrix. Azmuth sighed heavily and rubbed the space between his eyes. He wasn't cut out for these kinds of situations.
He was reluctant to come to Bellwood when Max had made his request. It was no secret that the creator and the wielder were on rocky terms with each other, but Azmuth had agreed. If Ben Tennyson wanted to waste away in self-pity, then maybe he could give the Ultimatrix to its intended recipient. He put too much work and sweat into the Ultimatrix to just have his creation waste away on the wrist of an emotional teenage boy.
But as much as he hated to admit it, Max was getting too old for the powerful device. And Ben was young, and according to Paradox, he was destined for great things. And admittedly, Azmuth could see why.
"Tennyson, you did not know. You did what you could. Nothing more. Nothing less."
"But-"
"How many aliens have you seen perish?" Azmuth interrupted, staring at the back of Ben's head. "How many deaths have you witnessed or heard about?"
"More than I would like," he replied with a heavy sigh. "But what kind of hero am I if I let people die?"
"A human one," Azmuth answered simply.
Ben was not quite satisfied with that answer. "But," he started, struggling to put his thoughts into words, "Isn't it a hero's job to protect their people? Always prosper; justice prevails over all and all that?"
The teen had turned around now. He crossed his legs and his brow was furrowed. Azmuth put his hands together and could not help a slight smile that crossed his normally stern face. "Tennyson, you of all people should know that there are many times where justice gets the short end of the stick, so to speak."
"Yeah..." Ben agreed hesitantly. "But it just seems so...unfair. Even when there are heroes people die and the bad guys get away."
"I'm certain you're tired of hearing this, but life is unfair," Azmuth told him. "We cannot control life. We can only make it as bearable as possible."
A small grin curled across Ben's tired face. "I like that. Still sucks, though."
Azmuth shook his head. "Are you done wasting my time?"
Ben was indignant. "Excuse me! You came here on your own free will!"
"I wouldn't have had to come at all if you weren't so sensitive."
"Well, excuse me for caring about the well-being of others," Ben muttered.
But he did feel a bit better. Still upset, but he decided to come to terms that he really couldn't save everybody. It was odd how his talks with Azmuth made him feel better. Even though all the Galvan and the international hero ever did was bicker and argue, he couldn't imagine what he would do without Azmuth. In times of crisis, he was one of the main beings Ben went to for advice.
Though the teen was first to admit that they had a strange relationship.
Satisfied that the despair had left his wielder's expression, Azmuth started to teleport away. Before he disappeared completely Ben called out, "Wait!"
A sigh left the Galvan as he materialised again. "What is it Tennyson?"
"So...have I told you I'm sorry for hacking the Omnitrix all those months ago?" Ben asked hopefully. "Like, really sorry."
"Goodbye Tennyson," Azmuth snapped and teleported away.
But before he vanished, Ben caught the beginnings of a smile forming on the Galvan's face.