PLEASE READ FIRST: This is set in an AU where Jellicles and humans walk the earth together. Though needless to say the cats own the humans, not vice versa as most humans like to think.

Cast

Mistoffelees, the clever and aloof magician we all love. And his human Sherlock Holmes the brilliant and aloof consulting detective.

Macavity, the Napoleon of crime and Misto's arch enemy. Along with his human Professor James Moriarty who is also a criminal mastermind.

Munkustrap, our favorite protector and storyteller. Accompaning his human Dr. John H Watson, who is Holmes's friend and chronicler

Bustopher's Jones, Misto's overweight brother and his human Mycroft Holmes. Both are exceptionally clever although rather lazy.

I do not own SH or cats. Both creations belong to their respective creators Andrew Lloyed Webber and Arthur Conan Doyle.

The Introduction (as told from Munkustrap's POV)

It is with a heavy heart that I take up my pen to write the last words that shall ever be written about my friend Mistoffelees. In an incoherent and what I believe to be an entirely inadequate fashion, I have strived to give some account of a few of my strange experiences as the tuxedo's companion. It was my intention to have stopped these writings after the matter of "the Maine Coon's mane" and to have said nothing of the event which has left a deep void in my life. However my hand has been forced into action once more, due to the recent letters in which Colonel Moriarty defends his late brother's actions and strives to tarnish the blessed name of Sherlock Holmes and Mistoffelees. Names that I shall always do my uttermost to defend.

Sherlock Holmes, the name of the most brilliant tom in all of England, perhaps in all of Europe even, was an amazing detective and a great man to boot. But behind every great man there is an excellent cat and in the case of Holmes, his cat Mistoffelees was an exceptional tom. We met in the year of 1878, shortly after his and my human's (named Homes and Watson respectively) had been introduced through a mutual acquaintance. Within a few days the four of us, two humans and two Jellicles, began sharing rooms at 221b Baker Street.

Mistoffelees was a good flat mate. He was very quiet by nature and regular in his habits. The only objections I ever had was his use of my pollicle Gladstone as a test subject for his chemical experiments. I suspect that my dog's sudden growth of florescent pink fur was due to one of Misto's many suspicious compounds being slipped into his feeding bowl. But as Misto points out, Gladstone doesn't seem to mind.

When we began sharing rooms I was in a weakened state from the wounds I'd received at the hands of the enemy in the Afghan war (in which I participated in as feline officer) that at first I spent much of my time inside our rooms, particularly when it was wet. Fustraited with confinement and bored with lack of entertainment, the mystery surrounding Holmes and Mistoffelees's employment soon captured my interest.

Recalling a conversation we once had about cat-kinds limitations, he had said to me that everything he learned and collected in his abnormally large mind was of use to him. From this I summarized that if I learnt of where his skills lay I could figure out what he did for a living. I even took a pencil and paper and wrote a list that ran in this way.

MISTOFFELEES – his limits

Knowledge of literature. – knows Peaks and Pollicles but not much else

Philosophy. – Nil

Knowledge of the Jellicle moon - Nil

Botany. – Variable. Well up in catnip, opium and poisons generally. Knows nothing of practical gardening

Hunting. – practical, but limited. Tells at a glance from mud stains what has been passing through. Is a skilled tracker. Knows nothing of practical mouseing.

Chemistry. – Profound. Has the rare ability to create lightning

Anatomy. – accurate, but unsystematic

Sensational Literature. –Immense. He appears to know every detail of every horror perpetuated in this century.

Sings well.

Is an expect singlestick player, boxer, dancer and magician

Has a good practical knowledge of Jellicle law

When I had sot so far in my list I threw it into the fire in despair. My feline curiosity was quenched however when Misto told me himself that he was a consulting detective and me to accompany him in one of his many investigations. Soon I was a regular companion on his adventures. I like to think that my presence was valued, not only for the rent and medical knowledge I provided, but because he enjoyed my presence. He had once said to me, right before my human had published a Scandal in Bohemia "I feel lost without my Storyteller." A title which even now give me a great sense of pride and accomplishment.

But I'm straying from the subject of this story, the honest account of what really took place between Macavity and Mistoffelees, not forgetting their humans Moriarty and Sherlock respectively. I take up my pen anew to tell you now.

So what do you think? I'll be updating this reularly as I've already typed up most of the chapters.

Felixfeles

Please R and R if you feel so disposed