I do not own Grey's Anatomy… but I'd like to.

A/N: I have been away for a long, long time. The last thing I'd written was in 2015. What can I say, a lot of personal issues kept me away, but I am so happy to be back. I've written several stories before, but never for Grey's Anatomy and I am so excited to add my name to such an illustrious list of fanfiction writers. My stories will revolve almost exclusively around Jackson and April as they are the reason I am so addicted to this show. So, please be honest with your reviews as I "dip my toe" back in. Just so you know, I'm a big fan of song titles as fic names so, there you go.

Baby, I'm Yours

Chapter 1: Lost in Emotion

Watching the two of them standing so close together, Jackson had no right to be envious. He'd brought this situation on himself. Well, not technically by himself, but he was the catalyst and now he had to live with the consequences and seemingly in abject misery.

Not twenty feet away from them, he glared as April and Nathan huddled conspiratorially. As hard as he tried, he wasn't able to pick up any of their conversation and since he couldn't read lips, he had to be satisfied with the fact that they didn't appear to be having an intimate chat, but then again, he didn't know much about April's life these days.

They had found themselves in a messed-up situation. They had been divorced for approximately four months now and as hard it had been being apart from her, not only physically but emotionally, he was trying desperately to move on with his life, but it was proving to be quite difficult.

The first two months after the divorce papers had been signed were a nightmare to say the least. The first few weeks were awkward being that they both still had to see each other every day. While she worked mainly in the ER, he traversed throughout the hospital either conducting consultations, performing operations or in his office dealing with Harper Avery Foundation paperwork, their paths crossing more often than not. Frankly, they hadn't known how to interact with each other. Jackson thought it would be in his best interest to cut ties completely and only engage with her if it was work related. He'd even gone so far as to remind her that they still had a joint cell phone bill and he'd offered to pay his share so that everything was on the up and up. Initially she'd waved him off, assuring him that she would be happy to take care of his share, but after careful thought, he'd decided that leaving that window open, as small as it was, might give her the wrong idea. So, he'd gone back to her with his half of the payment in check form and told her that he'd prefer they do it this way. He didn't want there to be anything still tying them together, as miniscule as it may be. Then not three weeks later, he'd been thrown for another loop.

April had been keeping that fact that she was pregnant a secret from him. Sure, they were divorced, but he'd thought that after all they'd been through, she'd never lie to him about something this important. After Arizona had blabbed the truth to him, April had shown only seconds later, apparently about to tell him herself.

Twelve weeks. She was twelve weeks pregnant and he hadn't known a thing. He was stunned obviously, and he wanted answers, but she'd had none to give. Their conversation was cut short by a page and that just meant his anger only had time to fester and grow. They'd had a big blowup right outside the main entrance to the operating rooms and he'd said some words he still regretted till this day. He was livid to say the least, but to insinuate that he would leave her to raise the baby alone was unconscionable. He was not his father. He was a better man than that, so he went to the apartment they'd once shared together to apologize which only resulted in another disagreement.

The culmination of that argument led them to a misunderstanding about him wanting custody of the baby, retraining orders, his attempt to build a case against her in court and the inability of them to work together as professionals as so rightfully pointed out to him by Dr. Webber.

He was tired. Just so tired of the arguing and accusations that he'd decided to be the bigger person and put an end to it once and for all. So, he'd caught up with April as she headed out to her car and pledged to put an end to their bickering and the custody case that he was almost embarrassed to admit was originated by his mother.

He and April used to best friends. Each other's person and though they couldn't go back to what they had before, maybe, just maybe they could forge a new path. So, they'd gone out to sit and talk about comprising and plans on how they were going to raise their baby together, yet apart.

That led him to where they were today.

While they'd decided to split weeks, and agreed on what holidays each would take, it was the most he'd been involved in any decision making up until this point. He'd gone to one more obstetrics appointment after an initial scare in which they'd been under the impression that this baby too was doomed to not live. Other than that, they'd had no further dealings. But it appeared that April had another man in her life to help her through this emotionally trying time.

Dr. Nathan Riggs was a good friend of April's who'd she met during her second tour in Jordon. There were varying opinions as to whether he was good guy or not, but he and April seemed to have a close bond so as far as he was concerned, Nathan was an all right guy. That didn't mean he didn't have his doubts initially. He and April seemed a little too close for his comfort and he'd be lying if he didn't think even in the deepest darkest part of his soul that they'd had an affair while deployed. Not a physical one, but an emotional one which would have been just as bad as he was concerned. Just the thought that April could be open and honest with another man while she'd kept how she felt from him all the time that they were separated, and she was off in that god forsaken war zone was disconcerting enough. But watching them over the last few weeks had put that silly notion to rest. That was until today.

Jackson was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible as he stood and fiddled with his tablet. Whatever they were talking about, it was involved. She'd say something, then he'd nod his head in agreement or he'd speak and then she'd giggle.

And then it happened, and Jackson felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. Hard.

Nathan had his hand on April's belly. No, that wasn't exactly true. It wasn't just resting there, he was caressing it. With two hands. Obviously, April wasn't bothered by his actions as she smiled happily, her head bent toward his massaging digits.

Only days ago, he had found himself almost in the same situation. He was heading across the main lobby when April called out to him. As he approached, he couldn't help but smile to himself at how beautiful she looked. She was glowing, and he said a silent thank you that she and the baby were both doing well. While she stood two tiers above him on the steps, he absentmindedly reached out to touch her bump. Catching himself immediately, he pulled back, hoping that she didn't see his movements. If she had, she'd politely ignored it and continued with her train of thought.

Jackson would be lying if he didn't admit he'd wanted to feel their baby kick again. After she'd taken his hand and pressed it against her while they talked in the parking lot all those weeks ago, he'd often longed for the chance to walk up to her and place his arms around her and envelop the three of them in a hug just as he had done all those times while she was pregnant with Samuel. But he'd lost the privilege to be that familiar with her, regardless of the fact she was carrying his child.

Uncomfortable with seeing him touch her with such an intimate gesture, he knew he needed to do something, he just didn't know what. April wasn't his anymore. He'd made sure of that and disrupting them with no real cause would make him appear like the jealous husband and he certainly wasn't that anymore. Luckily, fate seemed to be on his side as Riggs' pager chimed, and he hurriedly excused himself and was off to the next catastrophe.

Now he stood there dumbly as April turned to leave when something spurred him into action. It wasn't a conscious thought, at least he wasn't ready to accept that it was, so he screwed his courage and moved forward.

"April." He called out a little louder than he'd meant to causing her to stop in her tracks as several heads looked in his direction.

She turned to him with a welcoming grin.

"Hey, Jackson. What's up?"

Jackson watched her for what seemed like minutes, a blank expression on his face. Shit, this was not how this was supposed to go and now he felt like an idiot.

"Uh. I just wanted to check in. See how you were doing."

By the puzzled look on her face, she was surprised by his attempt at concern.

"Well, I'm… doing okay. And you?"

Throat suddenly dry, he swallowed with great effort. "Good. Really good."

April nodded approvingly and began swaying slowly back and forth waiting for him to elaborate.

Finally snapping himself out of his somewhat comatose stance, he continued. "And the baby?"

She bowed her head and placed a hand lovingly on her ever-expanding midsection. "The baby's doing fine. I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Coleman."

Seeing his look of concern, she reassured him. "It's just a checkup, nothing to worry about. I'll be sure to let you know the outcome. If you want to know, that is."

Taken aback, he noticeably bristled. "Of course, I do. What makes you think I wouldn't want to know?"

"Nothing, it's just that we haven't talked much lately. About the baby, I mean."

"Yeah, I know and I'm sorry about that." Jackson really did feel guilty about that fact. He had no real reason for what she probably assumed was his disinterest in the daily goings on in the life of baby Kepner-Avery.

And almost as quickly as his choice to stop her, a question came tumbling out of his mouth. "Do you have plans this evening?"

"Huh?"

"What I mean to say is, if you aren't busy tonight, would you like to have dinner with me?"

He watched as she stood there, mouth agape.

Continuing as if she weren't staring at him like he had two heads, he clarified. "I thought maybe we could talk about the baby. I don't know if you've started shopping for supplies yet and I was wondering what you needed. I know you have the crib I brought, but I wasn't sure if you'd finished the nursery yet."

Unspoken words passed between them as they both fondly thought of Samuel.

"No, I haven't, but it's on my list."

"Great, so I could meet you back here around…"

April held up her hand and stopped him. "I'd really love to Jackson, but I have plans tonight."

And before he could censure himself, he angrily asked. "With who?"

Eyebrows raised skyward, he took note as her expression changed drastically in a matter of seconds. From surprise to implausibility to anger. "Excuse me, but what business is that of yours?"

Reeling at the force of her words, he answered in truth. "Well, none."

"Exactly." She uttered harshly and turned to leave.

Knowing that if he didn't stop her, he'd miss his chance, he gently grabbed her arm. Jackson wasn't sure what the purpose of his interrogation was, but he knew he needed for her not to go.

"April, I'm sorry."

"You're saying that a lot today." Her note of sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

Holding his hands up in a placating manner, he attempted once again. "April, all I want is an opportunity for us to have a conversation about what's next. There's still a lot of things we left undecided and there's not much time left."

Jackson hoped she'd felt the sincerity of his words.

Releasing a stilted breath, her features relaxed. "No, you're right. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. But I do have a prior engagement this evening that I can't break."

Jackson watched as she chewed on her bottom lips furiously. Obviously, she had something she wanted to tell him but was unsure if she should divulge. Wanting her to trust him enough to share whatever information she had, he unfurrowed his brow, a smirk pulling at one side of his cheek.

Apparently, his attempt at appearing coy worked because she gave in.

"Nathan and I have a Lamaze class tonight."

Jackson wasn't sure what was going to come out of her mouth, but he could honestly say he was unprepared for her confession. And as hard as he tried, he knew he couldn't hide how hurt he was by her admission.

"Oh! I uh. That's um, good. Good for you and Nathan."

Without turning around, he slowly began to back away. What he really wanted to do was hit something. Preferably Dr. Nathan Riggs. It had only been a few months and it looked as if she had moved on.

Jackson was a whirlwind of pent up emotions. Anger. Shock. Confusion. Happiness for her was not amongst them. Pursing his lips, he closed his eyes in an attempt to calm his thoughts and just as he was about to take off, April called out to him.

"Jackson, it's not what you think."

Apparently, she'd figured out quickly what he'd presumed.

"Nathan and I are friends and I needed someone to take classes with me. Arizona was busy, and I didn't have anybody else, so he graciously offered."

Jackson would be lying if he didn't say he wasn't offended. "What do you mean you didn't have anybody else? What about me?"

"You?"

"Yes, me." He answered plainly as if he were talking of someone else.

"No offense Jackson, but I just don't think we're there yet. We barely talk to each other anymore and frankly I don't know how comfortable I'd be with you assisting me."

This was going all wrong, Jackson thought to himself. Gesturing to the waiting area, he led April to a set of chairs in the corner to allow them a bit more privacy.

"Listen April, I know things are weird between us, but we made a commitment to do right by this baby. I'll admit I haven't been as involved as I should be, but I do care what happens to the baby…" Hesitating he added candidly, "and you too."

He knew April didn't know how to respond to his statement. He cared about her? Since when? If he were in her position, he wouldn't believe him either, but he had to convince her otherwise.

"We did this all wrong and a lot of mistakes were made on both sides, but the truth is I want to be the one with you at Lamaze class, not Nathan. I know you said you were okay with me being there for the birth, but I didn't even think about the possibility of anyone else being there for the delivery. This is something we should be doing together. After… after Samuel, I never dreamed we'd have this chance again. It's important to me that this baby knows I'm there from the very beginning."

As her face softened, Jackson figured he had nothing to lose at this point and proceeded.

"I know we can't make up for the things that have happened in the past, but we can make a better future for our child."

He watched as April considered his words carefully. Her head bowed, he waited patiently for her answer. And just as he was about to give up on the notion of her accepting his request, she responded.

"Okay, Jackson, I'll talk to Nathan. I'll let him know that you'll be taking me to class tonight."

Jackson couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. And this wasn't one of his usual grins. He'd shown actual teeth.

"Oh, April, you don't know what this means to me. Thank you."

"I think I do." Rising to her feet she smiled in return. "Class starts at 8:00 p.m. at Thresholds over on 125th Street. I'll text you the details and you can meet me there."

"Sounds like a plan."

Jackson sat there a few minutes longer after she'd left, not believing what had transpired. They had just agreed on something, and this was a big something. Maybe they could move on and be friends after all.

Walking back upstairs, he religiously checked his phone for April's text. He had to admit, he was excited about spending time with her again. They had been friends for so long, then surprisingly lovers and eventually marriage was in the cards, until it all fell apart.

Entering his office, he sat behind his desk and placed his phone down so that he wouldn't miss her text while he completed some paperwork that was long overdue. Unfortunately, his thoughts kept straying.

Really, there was no point in dwelling on all the pain they'd caused each other. For the sake of the baby, he needed to let it go. Laughing to himself, he couldn't believe he'd done what he had. He would never tell April, but watching her and Nathan together so intimately had spurred him into action. It wasn't rational or fair, but even though he'd unsuccessfully been on a few dates already, the idea that April was dating caused an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew what it was like to have her in his life. She was beautiful, brilliant, determined and not to mention a kick ass surgeon. Whatever man ended up with her would be lucky indeed. And just as quickly as he thought of her living that happy life with some other man. Raising his daughter with him, he felt a wave of nausea. He stood abruptly, knocking several stacks of paper to the floor in the process.

He used to be that man. The one with the beautiful, brilliant, determined, kick ass surgeon wife. His world was suddenly spinning, and he knew for sure the reason he had called out to her earlier. He wasn't jealous of the fact that Nathan was close to her and was going to be her Lamaze coach. He was jealous period. He'd held a secret to himself so closely that he dared not even speak it aloud when he was alone. The fact was he'd never been able to just turn off his feelings for April. He had been angry that she'd abandoned him not once, but twice and in his mind, that was unforgiveable, but his heart apparently disagreed.

"No, no, no, no, no." He said speaking out to an empty room.

This wasn't possible. It was too late for them to fix things. They were divorced and trying to move on with their romantic lives. Pacing the short length of the room, he placed his hands on his head in realization of a fact he could no longer deny.

"Fuck. I'm still in love with April."

Story song title - Baby, I'm Yours by Barbara Lewis

Story chapter title - Lost in Emotion by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam