Steps by Lily

Disclaimers: Shaman King doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the great god Hiroyuki Takei and other companies. :D

Warnings: This fic occurs after Ren's death. Beware of my insanity, trying out a new writing style and shounen-ai-ness. Written in short amount of time and gifty for Checkers for no reason, but because she asked~!

Began: June 25th,  2003
Finished: June 26th, 2003

~~****~~

One step, two steps, three steps.

He paused at the sliding doors and waited, hardly daring to breathe. There was no sound from the room before him except, perhaps it was his imagination, for the rhythmic breathing inside. Still, he waited, his hands poised to open the doors.

Why did he hesitate? He never hesitated.

He was the reckless one, always plunging headfirst into situations without a second thought.

So why was he hesitating now?

Flickers of doubt brushed at his mind, but he had decided. Setting his jaw firmly, he pulled open the doors and they slid open smoothly.

"It took you long enough to get here."

Horohoro squinted at the darkness of the room in surprise. He hadn't expected this. He hadn't expected Ren to be awake.

"U-uh…Ren…hello?" He offered his greeting tentatively and stepped into the room. He couldn't think of anything to say.

Ren's golden eyes watched him intently and he considered a retreat, but it was already too late.

"I didn't expect you to be awake-" He began when Ren abruptly interrupted.

"I heard you in the hall. You're about as quiet as an elephant." Horohoro grimaced and rubbed at the back of his neck.

He wasn't THAT loud was he?...Okay. So maybe opening his doors with a bang, tripping over his own two feet getting out of his room and crashing onto the floor wasn't exactly stealthy…

"What are you doing here anyway?" Ren's question ended the silence quickly and painfully.

He squirmed nervously.

"Well I…um…"

"You weren't going to come in here and try to rape me were you?" Ren asked suspiciously and glared at him.

"WHAT? Of course not! I wasn't going to do anything like that!"

Ren continued glaring.

"I was just…I just…wanted to make sure you were okay…" Horohoro mumbled loud enough for Ren to hear and stared at his feet. Ren blinked and radiated confusion.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked.

"Because you were dead and I wanted to make sure you weren't…again." He finished lamely and found that he was hurting his hands by digging his nails into his palms.

It was embarrassing to be found here. It was also embarrassing that he had to tell Ren all of this too. He shouldn't even care, but he did anyway. It was all embarrassing.

For a moment there was only silence.

"I'm not dead." Ren's voice sounded annoyed, but when Horohoro glanced at him, his eyes were averted. Too dark to tell if Ren was blushing, he felt slightly disappointed at that.

"I just wanted to make sure." He repeated and took another step towards Ren. Ren said nothing, he took that as a sign that he could get closer.

One step, two steps, three steps.

He stood before Ren and hesitated again. He was tired of hesitating. Tired of asking. He asked anyway.

"Could I…?"

Ren's stare was piercing, his eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. He gave a tiny nod.

Horohoro touched Ren's cheek, a light brush of his fingers. Smooth and warm.

Any rational thoughts flew from his mind and he pulled Ren into an impulsive hug.

"Don't ever do that again." He whispered harshly.

He was angry. Angry at Ren, angry at himself. He had failed to protect Ren and Yoh had been the one to save him. He had been unable to do anything.

Helpless and weak.

He hated it.

It hurt that Ren hadn't even considered him as enough reason to stay. Redemption for Chrome's death, Yoh had said, but he hadn't cared. He still didn't. It just wasn't fair.

Ren was stiff in his arms, but he slowly relaxed. They stayed like that for awhile, minutes ticked by and there was no sound.

Then, "Stay." It was Ren who had spoken.

Horohoro thought it was amusing. He hadn't been the one that had left, but now he was the one being asked to stay.

"If you don't go anywhere, I won't." The meanings of that statement were not lost on Ren and Horohoro felt Ren's arms wrap around him.

~If you die, then I will. ~ 

Tumbling down onto the futon, Horohoro hugged Ren tightly to him. Ren shifted and snuggled closely into his embrace.

Still, Horohoro could not sleep even when Ren's breathing had slowed and evened out. He stared into the darkness and listened to Ren's breathing, the steady beating of Ren's heart. Relieved that it was there, he closed his eyes and pressed a gentle kiss to Ren's forehead.

"Good night Ren." Ren said nothing, he was already asleep, but a soft smile tugged at his lips.

The stars sparkled and then there was the peaceful silence of the night.

~~Owari~~

Reviews/comments are appreciated!