She could feel the coldness from the skin on her hands. Her fingertips already hurting from the ice. Even her throat hurt, from all the screaming, and her eyes hurt, from the tears. But what hurt the most was her soul. It was vibrating with pain and fear.
Her big brother just fell into the river and he didn't come up anymore. He saved her. She knew she wasn't allowed to come near the hole and that she better get off the frozen water alltogether. She just couldn't bring herself to leave the place she last saw her brother. His face, that changed from a triumphant smile into surprise, then shock. She couldn't save him, couldn't stop screaming his name.
She hoped one of the villagers would hear her soon and come. Maybe someone that knew what to do. She didn't. She didn't know what to do, to save her big brother.
She wished he had let her. She wished he had gone off and looked for help, so that she would have fallen into the ice water and he would have been safe.
It was just so like him, to find a solution to a problem. He would have never left her side.
Her whole being was in pain, when finally people came running. Led by her screaming of her brother's name, like it was the only word she knew. Like she was expressing many sentences, many feelings, in one word only.
"JACK!"
She doesn't remember much from then on. She was told that people came to her, and carried her away though she struckled and fought to stay where she was. She broke free one time and almost crawled to the hole herself, but the villagers didn't let her go. Didn't let her join her brother.
That day, her brother died.
And she had survived.
About thirty years later, lying on her death bed, she remembered it again. Not like she ever forgot it. No. When he had died she had been about to break.
She was saved by her memories of him. By her parents and by Stephen. Lovely, caring Stephen. She fell in love with that man, that was nothing like her. And she had two wonderful daughters with him. Both grown up and married themselves. She was happy. Her family was happy.
Remembering her brother, who he was, what he did to the people around him, made her want to be strong. And that was what she has always been since then. She has been strong. Had made people laugh and looked out for those she loved. She had tried to be as smart and naughty as him, but she never had the same creativity as he had. Nobody could be like her brother, not even she. But she never tried stopping to be like her big brother.
She had a happy life and she knew, her brother would have liked that. That, surely, he would have been proud of her.
Her brother, that had made people happy. He had loved it, when others laughed because of something he did. He had never went too far and he had done everything in his powers for those he cared. He was Sarah's idol. He was her everything. Has always been.
Now, she could finally join him.
"Jamie.", his mother's voice said calmly "Get up. Breakfast is ready." He rubbed his eyes and opened them just in time to see his mother leave the room. "Please wake your sister, too."
Jamie didn't get up straight away. Trying to remember what he dreamt about. He knew it was that one dream that always haunts him on cold days. But he couldn't remember, no matter how hard he tried. It felt important. He pressed his hand against his forehead, rubbing it hard. He had to remember. Why couldn't he? Then he heard his door creak. His sister Sophie came in, clutching to the stuffed bunny, she looked at him. A question in her eyes.
"Morning Sophie.", he greeted her. All cheers and smiles. Forgetting the bad dream he had. He jumped from his bed and towards her. Ruffling her hair, "Did you sleep well? Mom called, let's go and feed ourselves, huh?" He took her hand and went to the kitchen with her. Her face calm again, a smile brightening it.
Sophie he had to protect. Sophie was his little sister, he had to protect her.
That's what big brothers do.
If you enjoyed this little ficlet then I am more than happy. But it seems like I have to point out what I wanted to say with that little story ... I wanted to make readers understand that I believe Jamie is the reincarnation of Sarah.. what do you think?
