A/N: Well, after watching like 10 billion show's on my anime list, it's finally time for Zetsubou Sensei to become one of my personal favs. The genre is just too confusing, absurd and random for you that you can't help but not hate it.

Haha, well anyways - I always had a strange liking for rival pairings..maybe it's just me. Is there anyone else who actually thought of this pairing besides me? I feel like one of the minority D:

Pairing: Kuniya Kino x Kudo Jun [Because Pine x Napple was unavailable]

Warnings: Erm, if you're not someone like Fujiyoshi-san, then I suggest you don't read this. Seriously. Major boylove, and some brash language.

Disclaimer: Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei belongs to Koji Kumeta, not me and will never be. [Trust me. If I owned this, I would turn 87% of the population into males.]

xxx

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

Our Tale

By Cold-Lover

xxx

They say that everybody was born with a special talent, charm, or unique trait that differs from all the rest. Whether it was worth noticing or not, it was something that defines you as you. In class 2-H, he could make out plenty of bizarre traits from all his peers. Kafuka had her positive attitude wherever she went; Chiri was one who demanded everything to be exact and absolute – a perfectionist, probably. Abiru was always covered in bandages and casts, but he had heard it wasn't from violence or abuse, something about a tail fetish? Fujiyoshi had her love for BL; Matoi who stalks the one she loves; Kaere with her split personality; and even Kagero Usui with his lack of a full perm. But in the midst of it all, he could hear his sensei saying something along the lines of "Zetsuboushita! The society where they believe everyone was born with a special ability has left me in despair!!"

Because that was not true.

You're unique personality along with you're likes and dislikes were driven from the environment and the people you grew up with; you're exterior appearance are from the set of genes from you're biological parents and probably you're ancestors as well; and the talent that everyone seems so amazed at is from you're own ability that you've gained through the years.

Born with talent? Hah, the thought of it made him laugh.

Kuniya Kino forced a subtle glance to the side to eye the source of his envy. The person who was able to blurt out any story from just about anything; a storytelling genius. Even with a random tale that seemed nonsensical would bring tears streaming down his face. Why? He would never know. The stories always manage to touch his heart somehow, some way or another.

He absolutely hated that feeling.

Kuniya had to wonder though, why the proclaimed story-telling genius was such a genius in the first place. Was he born with the gift? Pfft, he doubt it. Show him a baby who could read a book and sprout out a story just like that, then he would actually consider it. Besides, everyone has their own little quirks that essentially belong to them.

For instance, he himself has a fashion sense that people seem to label as "strange". To them, it may look completely absurd, but that was what made him who he was- wasn't it? If he likes it, why bother with what everyone else thinks. If he wanted to wear leopard leotards instead of a boring white t-shirt, fine! If he wanted to go out wearing striped boxers and a single tank top, then sure-why not?! If he wanted to join the library committee for no apparent reason, then so be it! Although, there actually was a reason why he joined. Not because his ancestors may be the owners of a infamous bookstore chain, or because of the fact that he enjoyed reading so much as to become a regular member. It was to thoroughly spy on his one and only rival.

Jun Kudo was in the library reading something, as usual. Kuniya had always manage to spot the boy at the lone table, leisurely looking through some hardcover book. There never seems to be a time when there was no literacy material in Jun's hands. It was as if it was an addiction – to books? He shook his head. No, that was what they called a bookworm. Usually, the image of a stout boy with huge-thick glasses and fully strapped-checkered overalls would flood your mind when hearing the word, but Jun was not like that at all.

He was..good-looking, Kuniya had to admit. Not that he would go around telling everyone that. And it certainly wasn't because he was gay.

No. No-no-no-no-no! Absolutely no way had he turned to that side of the road in his time of life. He was straight, completely. He liked girls, like..like Ai-chan! The way she does a good deed and then deny the fact that she did it for you is so tsudere. Such a cute girl like that is hard to find, hm...

Wait. If he was truly straight, was there even a need to reassure himself of the fact that he was?

...

NO! Kuniya shook his head roughly to get the disturbing thoughts out of his mind. Besides, Jun was his ultimate rival that he will defeat at all costs! Knowing you're enemy, their good points as well as their bad points, are essential for a rival to keep note of.

What did thinking his enemy was handsome going to do him any good in defeating him?

Brushing that aside, Kuniya had already began to inch closer to the boy at the table - finding himself hiding behind a bookshelf. From a third-person's perspective, it would look as if the boy was stalking a small school-crush in the library. But no, he wasn't pulling off a Matoi Tsunetsuki. He was decisively examining his foe to spot out any weakness or fault so he could flaunt it in his face while burning with the utmost victorious feeling of crushing a man's pride.

Ah, how he loved to win.

Jun Kudo had flipped another page, his eyes following the written words swiftly on the paper as his mind was replaying the scene in his mind. Kuniya was slipping into boredom quickly at that, but the moment the story-telling genius had slammed the book shut had the self-proclaimed rival jump to awareness.

Damn, did he already found me out? Kuniya felt a bullet of sweat drip down his forward while desperately thinking of ways to escape this situation. He could just jump out from nowhere and demand a challenge – that kind of thing always seems to work. His mind began setting off alarm bells as Jun began to make his way to the bookshelf, those pure-black eyes locked on his own.

"Kudo-!" Kuniya almost jumped as an arm shot out to the side of his head, grabbing on to what seemed like a book on the shelf. Shit, he could feel his own heartbeat drumming in his ears while he bit the inside of his mouth to keep his composure. That was all too sudden and unexpected for one to take.

"Ah, are you hear to pick out one too?" Jun asked as he retreated his arm, opening up the book to look idly at its contents. Kuniya almost scoffed. It would be surprising if there was no book that bookworm hadn't read in this small storage they call a school library.

"No. - I mean, yes!" He stumbled over his words, cursing his being entirely. How could he act in such a manner to his rival? Determined, Kuniya jutted out his finger while pointing accusingly to the other student. "I had my eye on that book as well. If you're not willing to let it go, I demand a challenge for it."

Jun smirked mockingly as if he was saying: "Are you sure you were eying that, or someone else?" Slightly, just somewhat slightly, did Kuniya felt the need to strangle something with pure malice. "Alright, how about a story-telling contest." God, how Kuniya hated that smug look on the story-teller's face right now. It was as if he thought he had won the whole thing without even trying. Sure, Jun had a gift for telling stories that shedded tears to every living soul who hears it. But that superior aura around him made Kuniya feel sick.

He hated to lose. He wanted to win.

Jun briefly scanned the room as his eyes laid upon a pencil and eraser on an empty table. No doubt an unbelievable story was running through his mind right at this moment. Kuniya gripped his hands into a fist as the genius slightly parted his lips.

He didn't want to hear that man's story. No, he couldn't bare to hear it.

"Once upon a time.."

That feeling he despised would resurface again. The ones that always appear when the words of the story smoothly flow out of that damn story-teller's mouth.

"-There was a pencil who loved to draw everything and anything he saw..."

The feeling of drownful sorrow..

"However, the eraser was envious of how beautiful the pencil drew so he.."

..raging jealousy, and..

"..Erased every single line the pencil drew, but the pencil felt no hatred towards the eraser. Instead, he.."

"Shut up!"

"Wha-mmph-!?"

lust.

Kuniya didn't know how or even why he did it, but as he felt his lips crashed into Jun's, he couldn't care less. The desire to dominate was too much to hold back, and the ambition to win by any means overruled against thinking straight. The muffled and confused noises coming out from Jun's throat was what urged him to go on. He had to shut him up, or else he would be pulled along by the tale that seems to touch all hearts and the fluttering, captivating voice of the narrator expressing his story to it's fullest. He felt sorrow when the story ended, he felt jealous that he did not have the ability to tell a heart-moving story, and most of all – his eternal lust to have the story-teller all to himself.

Kuniya pressed harder in the kiss as they backed up against the bookshelf. He could feel Jun twist his face in discomfort, but the slight moan that he earned from that action made him refuse to stop. But damn, the ravishing sounds coming from the genius was more alluring and thrilling then any story that came out of his mouth. His hands moved on it's own as it intertwine against Jun's and raised it above the story-teller's head. Hungrily, Kuniya slid his tongue against the other's lips as if asking for entrance - and without even knowing it, Jun had parted his mouth as his rival dived in eagerly.

This, in a way, could be its own story. The main characters were just the two of them; the setting was in the library with nobody but themselves; the climax would be the captivating moment they are in right now; and the ending would be anything but bittersweet.

It was then that he had wished kisses could last for a while, because breathing became a difficult factor to overpass. Kuniya slowly pulled away, savoring the lingering feeling and leaving them both breathelss. Jun had raised his arm to his mouth, wiping his mouth from any leftover spit that was shared between them. He also used that chance to cover his furiously red face, eyes darting left and right to avoid direct eye contact.

"Why did..you do that?" Jun mumbled into his sleeve, his mind still engrossed at the heated moment to even be thinking clearly. Kuniya studied the rare sight of the person in front of him carefully. Hell, if he knew. He was more amazed at how different a person could be after just a kiss. The usually calm facade on the story-telling genius was nothing but a memory now, replaced with what looked like an embrarressed, yet tempting, Kudo Jun.

It was then that Kuniya took the time to let the question sink in. Forget being straight, he liked this feeling of crossing the line way more. In fact, screw sexuality! Being gay could just be another one of his distinctive traits. Why did he do it to Jun of all people? Stupid question; because he wanted to, why else? Was there a reason? Maybe. Maybe he didn't want to listen to the story, maybe he wanted to shut the boy up, maybe – in the deepest part of his curious teenaged-boy mind – he wanted to know what Jun tasted like. Like they say, curiousity will always get the better of you. It was perfectly normal.

Not like kissing you're supposed rival was a normal thing to do, but still.

In a way, Kuniya was doing that bookworm a favour. This new experience would probably be engraved into Jun's mind, and maybe one day, he would tell someone about this enticing tale. The tale of his first kiss with a male who claimed to be his rival, the one who was his classmate, and maybe - just maybe, a little more than that. This tale wouldn't only belong to Jun though. No way would he let that story-telling genius have all the glory to boost his ego up any further than it already was. Afterall, this story didn't only have one protagonist.

It was Kuniya's turn to smirk. The mocking expression was plastered all over his face as he leaned in closer to Jun, whispering lighty into the boy's ears...

"How about I tell you a story about us instead?"

The End.