Ever since this boy at my Middle school committed suicide last year I've been wanting to write a fic dedicated to him and his family but I didn't know what to write. I finally thought of something when I recently listened to this song called Amor Eterno. It was sung by the school's Mariachi a few days after he died. I know his family probably don't read fanfics much less digimon fanfics but I still felt like writing this anyways just to help keep a memory of him alive for those people who knew him and come to this site.
Disclaimer: don't own digimon or the song.
Eternal Love
Everything was finally back to normal again. I hung out with my friends, school was still boring, and I entertain my little brother with my sock puppet. But every time I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I would stare at my eyes, the same eyes that witnessed your horrible death and wept over you.
Tu eres la tristeza de mis ojos, (you are the sadness in my eyes,)
que lloran en silencio por tu amor. (that cry silently for your love.)
Me miro en el espejo y veo en mi rostro (I look at myself in the mirror and see in my face)
el tiempo que sufrido por tu adios. (the time that I have suffered because of your farewell.)
Oh Leomon, I just couldn't get over your death. I tried forgetting about you and recollect the good times I had before I had ever met you, but every one of my thoughts led back to you. I didn't want to face the reality that you were not here, but I knew I had to pull through for my loved ones' sakes.
Takato and the others had been suspecting that I wasn't happy even when I completely hid my sadness. I guess they could still see it in my eyes. I wished I could close them forever partly so that my friends would never notice, I didn't want them to worry about me, their concern only made me even gloomier. The other part was so that I wouldn't have to look at my eyes again and see and feel all the pain.
Obligo a que te olvide el pensamiento, (I force my thoughts to forget you,)
pues siempre estoy pensando en el ayer. (for I am always thinking of yesterday.)
Prefiero estar dormida que despierta (I prefer to be asleep than awake)
de tanto que me duele que no estes. (because of how much it hurts that you're not here)
I would think that if only you were alive again, then all the sadness would go away. I never even got to say goodbye to you. My love for you as your tamer and friend would never go away. I wished I could be with you wherever you were but my place was here. We'll meet and be friends again someday I would tell myself, but I was still weeping over the loss secretively.
Como quisiera que tu vivieras, (I wish so much that you would live,)
que tus ojitos jamas se hubieran cerrado nunca, (that your little eyes had never closed,)
y estar mirandolos. (and I could still see them.)
Amor eterno y inolvidable. (Eternal love and unforgettable.)
Tarde o temprano estare contigo (Sooner or later I'll be with you)
para seguir amandonos. (to continue loving each other.)
"Jeri are you okay?" Takato asked me. How he could tell that I was sad was beyond my knowledge, I guess day by day I was showing signs of my unhappiness.
"Of coarse, everything's peachy! Why do you ask?" I tried to play off a cheerful expression. It didn't seem to satisfy him because he still had that look of concern. I kept smiling hoping I would be able to convince him that I was alright.
"Well, you just seemed so out of it. I thought that there might be a problem." And with that he walked away, leaving me to continue my sulking.
If only I were a better tamer, maybe you'd still be here. But no, I just stood there with my mouth hanging open and let you get killed. I should have done something. Maybe slash a card to upgrade your defense, anything, but I did nothing. I kept telling myself that whatever I had done, it wouldn't have helped you much and I knew it too, but I wished I could've done something just to show you that I cared enough for you.
Yo he sufrido tanto por tu ausencia, (I have suffered so much because of your absence,)
desde ese dia hasta hoy, no soy feliz. (since that day to now, I'm not happy.)
Y aunque tengo tranquila mi consciencia, (And even though my conscience is clear,)
se que pude haber yo hecho mas por ti. (I know I could have done more for you.)
My friends had invited me to go hang out with them at the park. As we talked and played I began to feel better, but then the memories of you leaving me came back when we passed by the fountain, the place where we first met. As my friends continued walking, I stood still staring at the fountain. I walked over to it and sat down hugging my legs as I began to remember the day when we first met, sadness washed over my face.
Oscura soledad estoy viviendo, (I'm living in a dark solitude,)
la misma soledad de tu sepulcro. (the same solitude of your sepulcher.)
Tu eres el amor del cual yo tengo (Yours is the love that I have)
el mas triste recuerdo de Acapulco. (the saddest memory of in Acapulco.)
I heard footsteps approaching me as I sat there. A hand was placed on my shoulder and I looked up to meet Takato's sympathetic eyes. He knew I was sad this time and he knew why as well. There was no point in hiding it so I just let it all out. I began crying, hard. Takato knelt down and embraced me. I continued to cry into his shoulder as he began to speak.
"I know it still hurts Jeri. It's still paining me too. You have to be strong Jeri." I calmed a little and looked him in the eye with tears still streaming down my cheeks.
"I've tried but I can't seem to stop thinking about his death." I said between sobs.
"Don't think about his death, instead think of the good memories about him(AN: yeah I know, it's a cliche) and as long as you still carry the eternal love you have for him you'll be stronger(AN: hey I'm not really a sentimental or a deep kind of person when it comes to comforting others with words so I don't know what to say in situations like this, sorry if this conversation is lame)." I sat there silent looking at the ground, the sobs had stopped but tears stilled poured out.
"I'm here for you Jeri, I hope you know that." Takato said sincerely.
"We all are." I turned to see Henry and Rika giving me a comforting smile. I returned it with a reassuring smile that told them I was going to be okay. I wiped away the tears from my eyes as Takato helped me up to my feet.
I looked back at the fountain but instead of crying, I smiled. Even though I still wished that you were still here I wasn't going to let my sadness take over my life. My eternal love for you will keep me strong and as long as I have that I know that you'll always be alive in my heart. I'll see you later Leomon.
Como quisiera que tu vivieras, (I wish so much that you would live,)
que tus ojitos jamas se hubieran cerrado nunca, (that your little eyes had never closed,)
y estar mirandolos. (and I could still see them.)
Amor eterno y inolvidable. (Eternal love and unforgettable.)
Tarde o temprano estare contigo (Sooner or later I'll be with you)
para seguir amandonos. (to continue loving each other.)
In loving memory of D. Martinez
1988-2001
Dedicated to his family and friends
I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. I hope the conversations weren't that lame. Sorry if there are any spelling, grammar or translating mistakes. Well you've read, now you can choose to review, flame or just not bother writing anything at all. I'm hoping you pick to do the first option.