Cycle of Grief

by traffycake

One month shy of his 18th birthday, Yuri Plisetsky cannot face all the things his chaotic life has to offer. His mother lost in a whirlwind of beautiful lies, he is left to fight on his own in this cruel world. What he doesn't realize is that life will soon change for him, and this cycle might finally reach its end in the arms of a stranger with his own pursuit for freedom.

1. Prologue

A/N: Hello, everyone! This is an Alternate Universe fanfiction. More or less, this is the result of my interpretation based on the question "What would happen if Yuri didn't pursue ice skating and found himself in a bad familial situation?". Therefore, Yuri IS a ballet dancer with a lot of shit going on. As an additional warning, there will be some gritty and dark subject matter that is involved, such as physical abuse, drug use, and sexual assault, along with other things that may be added in the future. If there are more things to be added, I will continue to mention them in the author's notes. The main pair in this fanfic is, in fact, OtabekxYuri. However, there will be mentions of ViktorxYuuri, not to mention that they will also come into the story later on!

Thank you for reading!

~Traffy

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Cycle of Grief: Prologue

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Ignorance. Knowledge. Resistance. Realization. Anguish. Acceptance.

This is my cycle of grief.

What I'm grieving over is a little harder to place and explain. Finding one solid source is more difficult than most people could imagine.

First of all, the innocence that came with my childhood was short-lived - almost nonexistent. What left me a lifetime ago was currently unattainable, and what I found hardest to swallow had been coming to terms with this truth.

In addition, becoming a teenager during all of this felt like the end of the world; I found myself in denial and refused to accept this reality built around me. I didn't want to come to terms with the changes going on in my life, and I planned to go down fighting against the grain. Back then, it felt as though an entire decade and a half of my life had been wasted on living up to and accomplishing the dreams of someone who became nothing more than a crutch to the son she bore.

After all this time, it was when I decided to live by my own jurisdiction that I came to understand that I needed to forge my own path, whether that meant meeting expectations or not. However, I still haven't reached the point of accepting all the secrets I've discovered; now that I'm almost 18, I doubt I ever will.

Not much has changed in the two years after making the decision I did. I'm still pissed at my circumstances, but now, I'm done with petty bullshit; I've got worse problems to deal with and fewer people I want to open up this can of worms to.

I will become a stronger person on my own.

I'll finish this up and make it short and simple: my mother is a waste of space, her lover is all the more a waste of breath, and I'm wasting my time living in this house.

I just want out...but what keeps me here is knowing she wouldn't survive without me.

My name is Yuri Plisetsky, and I wish this cycle would come to an end.