Ed and Eddy do: Inconsistencies
A/N: This is the third Ed and Eddy do, and the eponymous duo talk about (or, at least, attempt to) inconsistencies in Ed, Edd n Eddy. However, when they get to the first one, things start to go wrong, and reality gets distorted. Kinda like 1+1=Ed.
Silhouettes of Ed and Eddy are shown across a half dimmed room. They are visible within the darkness. The lights turn on, and they welcome their audience.
"We're rolling." Edd instructed them to start.
"I'm Ed" Ed began.
"And I'm Eddy" Eddy concluded.
"And welcome to our show!" Ed blurted out.
"Do you even know what our show is called?" Eddy covered his eyes with his palm, as if Ed had embarrassed him. Ed paused, while Eddy gave him a clue "Look up there!" He pointed to a sign that the Eds had clearly drawn that said "Ed and Eddy do"
"Bagels?" Ed was then given an uppercut by an enraged Eddy.
"Let's just cut to the opening sequence." Edd timidly said behind the camera.
"Good idea." Ed raised his hand. His bottom jaw had been raised by a centimetre, and looked like some teeth were going through his upper lip.
A montage then started. With some cheesy chat show-esque music being played in the background several pictures of Ed and Eddy rolled by. From a picture of them talking to a Steve Irwin look-alike, to a clip of them chatting to a group of people. It ended with a picture of Ed, and Eddy, back to back. Although a stool was visible, making Eddy seem taller. It then continued to Ed and Eddy.
Ed and Eddy were back in their seats, and Ed was miraculously healed instantly, as if nothing has happened at all. "Today," Eddy began. "We shall take a look at our shows, and record any inconsistencies." He read the last word of a piece of cardboard that Edd was holding. "Whatever those are."
"Wait, this is our show, isn't it?" Ed pointed something out.
"Yes, but we have been recorded by Cartoon Network for amusement." Edd explained to Ed.
Ed and Eddy stared at Edd in confusion. "What?" Ed stupidly asked.
"Never mind, let's just stick a tape in." Edd mumbled, inserting a video cassette into the VCR.
"Whoa, look at Mr. 80s!" Eddy waved his hands in the air, whilst being sarcastic.
Edd tried to hit Eddy, but he didn't hurt anything apart from his hand. But then Ed stepped in, and headbutted the short megalomaniac. "Edward!" The cameraman, who was now off-screen, scolded.
"Yes, mommy?" Ed stupidly asked, repeating what he said in Sorry, Wrong Ed (the episode with the phantom phone).
"I'm alright, Grandma! Just give me a minute to get my shoes on!" Eddy fell off his seat and lost all consciousness. When he hit the floor, he regained it, as evidenced when he let out a cry: "Ow."
When Eddy got up, and went back into his seat, Ed pressed play, and the tape started. Here, we see Out with the Old, In with the Ed (mainly the first part). Eddy, who has now rejuvenated, fast forwarded it towards the scene where we see Eddy's barbeque scam. "As we see, my apron normally says "Smooch the Cook"." Eddy explained off-screen, as the camera was mainly focusing on the TV
"True dat." Ed said stupidly.
"But look." He fast forwarded the video to whenever it best suited the situation. "Whenever my expression changes, so does the phrase of the apron. And because I'm lazy, I'm not gonna name them all, so you have to watch it."
"Is the sound broken?" Ed noticed that there was no sound coming out of the TV.
"Nah, it's on mute." Eddy noticed. "Why not turn it up, Double D?"
"I will try..." Edd pressed the unmute button on a remote control he was carrying. As he did, a huge sound wave blared from the TV, pushing Ed and Eddy off their seats, and forcing Edd to the wall. Then the sound wave made a huge, Edd-sized hole in the wall. That portion of the wall collapsed.
Just then, the sound glared into the cul-de-sac. "Run away!" Jimmy warned, screaming and heading for the hills. Just then, he was sucked up be the sound wave, and blown away. Oh, and the wave broke all the windows in the cul-de-sac, and most of the trailer park.
A dazed Edd then managed to lift his arm, and press the mute button on the remote. Weakened by the blow, his arm collapsed onto the floor. The trio managed to lift themselves up, and tried to speak. But sadly, all they could hear was a high-pitched beeping. They had all gone deaf. But only temporarily, though, because the author's word is final.
A few minutes later, they had to improvise a conversation using a whiteboard and some marker pens:
Eddy wrote "This sucks."
Edd replied "Now, Eddy. This temporary loss of hearing will depart eventually."
Ed scribbled "Huh, huh, huh", mimicking his trademark goofy laugh.
"My pen ran out." Eddy complained. But, unlike a few minutes ago, he said it out loud, as opposed to writing it down.
"Here," Edd handed a black marker pen to Eddy. "Take one of mine."
"Wait." Eddy noticed something. "We can hear again!"
Ed wrote "Hooray."
"Ed, can you hear us?" Edd asked Ed.
"What?" Ed grinned like the idiot he was.
"Can you hear us?" The genius repeated.
"What?"
"Can you hear us?"
"What?"
"Könnt ihr mich hören?" Edd tried to sing some Rammstein to Ed, who was a fan.
"Wir hören dich!" Ed replied, carrying on with the song.
"So you can hear me!" Edd was finally relieved to have gotten through to Ed.
"What?" Ed went back to grinning stupidly. Edd took the camera off the tripod, and tried to whack Ed on the head with the tripod. But, as the tripod hit Ed on the head, Edd accidentally hit himself in the head, and collapsed to the floor. He then got back up a few seconds later, and put the camera back onto the tripod.
Just then, a whale came out of nowhere and flattened the Kankers' trailer. Luckily, they survived, because no one dies. Much. Then, a group of birds came, and lifted the whale up. "That's..." Edd began, but he couldn't complete the sentence.
"Dorks..." Kevin was behind them. He was obviously mad, as the sound wave broke his TV, and he was watching his favourite show: 60 Minutes. However, he didn't burst the door down, and then walk in. He materialised behind Ed and Eddy. But before he could walk into the building, he froze, and then turned a light shade of grey.
Eddy walked up to Kevin, and flicked him on the forehead. The inanimate jock fell to the ground and shattered into pieces. "O... K..." He backed away slowly.
Rolf flew past the warehourse, riding a cow as if it was a horse. "What have the Ed boys done this time?" He screamed as he whizzed past.
"Hi, Rolf!" Ed waved.
Eddy slammed the door, but then it melted. "This is just getting creepy."
"...niaga taht yas nac uoY" Ed was speaking backwards, as he was changing colours. People who use Windows Movie Maker would like this, as Ed was doing that colour spectrum thing (when it changes from red, to green, to blue, to violet, then back to red).
Then suddenly, the ground vibrates violently, until it exploded. As it did, there was nothing left. Ed, Edd and Eddy did survive, ditto the kids, but they could only be heard. "What happened?" Edd realised what went wrong. As he said that, the Ed-iverse turned into a huge Blue Screen of Death.
"Sorry, guys." Danny acknowledged this. "I'll try and sort this out."
A few hours later, the Eds were talking, as the Ed-iverse was being fixed. Just then, the Blue Screen of Death disappeared, and the Ed-iverse fixed itself. The Eds were back to normal, or as normal as they can be. Eddy celebrated "We're back to normal!"
"Oh, jubilations!" Edd threw his arms into the air to express his happiness.
"Guys, my mouth tastes like backwards!" Ed smacked his lips together.
The trio then walked back to the warehouse, to conclude their Ed and Eddy do. They opened the door, and everything is as it was: The Ed Telethon set as their backdrop, and two white swivel seats that they found at the junkyard as their seats, and their television set with VCR on top. Ed and Eddy sat down in their seats, and Edd went behind the camera. "So, in conclusion..." Eddy began.
"Don't review inconsistencies," Ed interrupted, whilst trying to remember the word on the card. "Because the universe will just fu..."
Eddy then hit Ed over the head with a lamp. "Shut up, Ed. So, that's it for this time's Ed and Eddy do. We'll see you around." Eddy acted cool towards the camera.
"Cut!" Edd called out as he turned the camera off.
Ed moaned as he tried to get off the floor. He rubbed his head as he tried to remember what just happened. But still, he got up, and walked out, turning off the light before he left the building.
A/N: There we go. The third Ed and Eddy do is up. But what should be in the fourth? You decide. You can also ask Ed and Eddy questions (or you can ask Edd, but that's very unlikely that he'll be reading it, as he has so much camerawork to do. Maybe in a Behind the Scenes special). To do this, all you have to do is leave a review, private message me, e-mail me, or Twitter me (my account is shown on my profile).
This is also the first time that the Eds don't show the kids their episode. What Edd does with the clip is unknown, but you can just imagine what he does. This is the first time that I describe the Ed and Eddy do set, albeit not in great detail. That's because I'm lazy, which also explains why I only did one inconsistency before the Ed-iverse gets all bleeped-up. Also, the term "Ed-iverse" refers to the Eds' universe, especially Peach Creek and the cul-de-sac.
Anyways, this was initially to have a bit in Script format, but I think it was against the rules, so I shelved it. There was also supposed to be a bit where Danny is trying to get his computer working, with the people who play Ed, Edd and Eddy trying to help, eventually calling in a PC repairman. But, again, I shelved that. Don't ask me why, OK?