Let me show you the real love

The room was silent not even the buzzing of the fly could be heard. A tall, slender man was standing in front of the window watching the rising sun. He was fascinated by it and made him a bit relaxed.

Magnus did not know how he was caught in the whole matter, but ever since that day his peaceful, enjoyable everyday life became a mess. He was annoyed and worried – and he hated these feelings. He knew that nothing good comes when he gets involved in cases like this, but he could not do anything. He did not want to, either. Somehow, when he was thinking about the boy who might be dead if he do not help… his heart started to ache. He did not act as he should have and Magnus Bane knew that, but he could not help it. He had this weird urge to help those shadowhunters, also he would feel terrible if he let the young boy die. Young, beautiful boy and those eyes… Magnus felt like he fell into a trap when he looked into those marvellous eyes.

He remembered when a few days ago he saw this young boy being on his deathbed. He did not have to think about saving him or not, he acted immediately. However ever since then he was annoyed, worried and wherever he went he could not calm down. He just could not relax until the boy wakes up.

"Ughh…"

Magnus turned his back to the window. His heart started to beat like crazy when he saw those blue eyes staring at him. He can finally relax – that was the warlock's first thought.

"So you are awake." He said and sent a bright smile at Alec.

Alec tried to say something however no voice came out from his throat. Magnus rushed to the bedside table and picked up the glass from its top and then he helped Alec to sit up and gave it to him.

"It's Water. Drink it:"

Alec did as Magnus said and drank the water. First he choked and started to cough, but as if he did not care about it he continued drinking. When he finished it he wiped his mouth and gave the glass back to Magnus.

"Thanks."

The warlock took the glass and put it back on the bedside table. Then he just stayed there as if he froze. Somehow he did not know what to say. Anyway, what should one tell to someone who just came back from the valley of death? 'Hurray, welcome back?'

Magnus suddenly felt the helplessness which he never experienced before. He was the cool guy who always had one or two words even in a really embarrassing situation. But now his head was empty he only felt his pounding heart.

"I guess you saved my ass." Alec broke the silence. "Thank you!"

"Do you remember anything?" Magnus asked.

Alec stayed silent for a few minutes. It did not look like he wanted to answer or so that was what his face showed. He felt horrible – Magnus was sure about this and he almost felt in his own heart the boy's suffering.

"It was my fault." Alec said after a few minutes. "I was stupid."

Magnus lifted his eyebrows. He felt sorry for Alec. He just thought he is too young for blaming himself for things he can not do anything about. Magnus was perfectly aware of Alec's hidden feelings – he saw them immediately when he first met him at his party.

Remorse, pain, lust – the symptoms of unrequited love.

"Why so? You saved your friend from the death." Magnus sent a smile to Alec. "You should be proud of yourself. Not many people would have done this."

Alec looked into Magnus' cat eyes then he let off a pitiful laugh. A spark of trust gleamed in his eyes, or at least the will to trust someone. And at that moment that person was Magnus.

He could understand why. Alec did not know many people, he almost grew up in the Institute and out of the 2-3 people who was the closest to him he had special feelings for one. The others were his family, he could not bother them with talking about his feelings it could cause unnecessary ruckus, also he was ashamed of himself.

But then there was this weird phenomenon called Magnus. He was not a friend, not family he was a stranger. But a special stranger – Magnus almost laughed at this. He knew too how weird his taste was but he could not be bothered about it. Also his sexual preference was an unanswered question for a lot of people, so he could understand if Alec tried to trust him and wanted to talk about his problems. It would not be surprising after all he saved Alec's life.

And so after a few minutes of silence words like waterfall started to flow from his mouth.

"It was not because of that, but because of my disgusting feelings… I'm bad, really bad. I was… angry… disappointed… felt offended… also really vain. But what I hate the most is my pitiful jealousy. I wanted to prove something and… I'm disgusting."

Magnus stayed silent. He knew that was not everything that made Alec suffer inside his heart. He knew it ever since he first saw this boy and was sure about everything when he heard what happened to him.

"I can't believe it." Alec laughed trying to hide his trembling voice. "I was a jerk with Clary. I shouted at her… I was a real jerk. But then she was still so nice to me there… I… I feel ashamed… I'm the oldest but I was the one acting childish."

Magnus took a deep breath, walked to Alec and sat down next to him. He put his hand onto the top of his head and stroked his hair. It was so silky that made Magnus' hand tremble. Black hair, blue eyes… Magnus had to wonder why he loved this pairing so much.

"Everybody makes mistakes." He said. "Sometimes we can't do anything but wonder why we do such idiotic things. However feelings are so powerful things that can make people act like never in their whole life. There is nothing to be ashamed of; also, you are not a bad guy just because your feelings. You saved someone, even if you did it being leaded by your selfish feelings. That's just proves how important is Jace to you. And that's nothing to be ashamed of; on the contrary, it's a really cool thing to do. I'm amazed! You must be madly in love with him, right?"

Alec's eyes widened and he could not say anything but look at Magnus as if he saw a ghost. Then suddenly his face became as red as a rose and shook his head.

"Wha…wha… what are you talking about?!" He almost shouted and that made Magnus smile. He just loved how Alec became embarrassed so easily. "I'm not in love with him or anything like that. Hof course I did that because I like him… as a brother, yes, that's it. I like him as my brother."

Magnus smiled mysteriously. He leaned close to Alec and stared into his eyes for a few minutes then stood up, walked to the window and started to talk again while looking out.

„The eyes are the most fantastic thing that our Creator gave us. You can tell anything by looking into one's eyes" He said. „Shadowhunter, human, warlock, angel, demon – all the same. In one's eyes you can see care, love, hate, friendship… everything… And I saw immediately how you look at Jace. Also, I saw how Jace looks at Clary, that's why how you look at her. You're hundred years too early to try to deceive Magnus Bane."

Alec clenched his teeth because he knew that Magnus is aware of his secret. And Magnus, who turned back to Alec to see his face, really enjoyed how the boy's expression changes as fast as the weather. And because of this Magnus could not fight the urge wanting to tease Alec.

"I'm a man. It's… it's impossible." – Said Alec finally. His expression was so pitiful that made Magnus' heart tremble.

"Oh, dear me, gender does not matter when it comes to love." He replied. "I can't really count how many men I had relationship with."

Alec made a stunned expression and that amused Magnus. Well, what he said was only the half-truth, but he exaggerated about how he can't count these relationships.

"But he is my parabatai."

"Well… that can be an excuse if we take consideration about shadowhunter rules. Also, you can find million excuses why this relationship is doomed as it is. But have you ever considered telling him everything?"

Magnus could not really believe what he said. At his momentary state this was what he least wished for Alec to do. But somehow he was sure how Alec would not do anything like this. His pride just would not allow it and he was a scaredy cat, too. For Magnus the cutest scaredy kitten he ever saw.

"Of course not! Jace is the most hetero guy in the world!" Alec said in a loud voice then became quiet again lowering his head. "Also I'm not good enough for him… he is… awesome. And me, I'm such a …"

Magnus interrupted Alec. He just could not believe this boy talking like this not considering how fantastic he really was. Magnus had to wonder if Alec ever looked into a mirror in his whole life. He just was not aware of his own presence.

"Oh, what are you talking about?" – Magnus asked shocked then he smiled so kindly that made Alec embarrassed again. "You're a jewel in the dunghill."

Alec looked at Magnus with widened eyes not knowing what to answer. No one ever told him anything like this. Not ever in his whole life. He was 18 years old and still he did not have experience in this. And now a warlock popped out of the blue comforts his heart right after saving his life and then… telling him such sweet words… Alec did not know how to handle this situation and so he stayed silent.

Magnus had different feelings. He was angry, so angry at how Alec is not aware of his own charm. He wanted to kill Jace because this whole thing was his fault. But at the same time he just wanted to hug Alec because he was so pure like a little puppy.

At this moment he became determined about how he would change this young shadowhunter's heart. Jace is not worth of Alec's love – that's what Magnus thought. Of course he knew that he can't change Alec's feelings if the boy did not want it… But he just could not watch how he suffered. Also, he realized he liked this young boy. His youthful charm enchanted him.

"So, Alexander…"

"It's Alec. Everyone calls me Alec." – He smiled for the first time ever since he woke up. After seeing this bright smile Magnus became much more determined.

"Well, that's a reason why we should not call you like that. Alec… Alec… why would they call you like this?"

"Because Alexander is way too long. It's a bother to say it especially in an emergency situation."

"Well, this is a big mistake…" Magnus said then repeated Alec's name sequentially. "Alexander… Alexander… it's a beautiful name!"

Alec lowered his face but Magnus saw how the boy could not stop smiling. Magnus started to feel this mysterious heat is his heart… how many years had passed since he felt like this? He did not know it anymore. He was surprised how the boy made him like him this easily.

"Jace is an idiot if he does not notice your incredible charm." He said. "Also, he is stupid not loving you back. He does not know what he loses."

Alec looked into Magnus' eyes, his face was bright red and he was obviously embarrassed. However Magnus saw something in those eyes that made him get his hopes up, thinking that he has some chance with the boy.

Both of them gazed into each others eyes breathing slowly being enchanted by each others presence. Somehow something has changed in both of them and their feelings maybe found understanding in the other. They found something in each other and a bond was born between them. As if their own pitiful life has found something which is able to make the other happy. They knew that they had something in common – and had a future filled with the other's presence.

"Alexander is good." Alec said suddenly and Magnus did not understand what he meant by this sentence.

"What?"

"The name… it's ok to call me Alexander. I… like it." – Alec said not looking into Magnus eyes.

Magnus had to smile and it was hard for him not to kiss Alec right at that moment. However instead of that he had a better idea.

"Alexander…"

"Yes?"

"Let me show you the real love…"