Bustman: Hi everybody! Here with another fic… Brawler's Island is action-packed, funny, and mind-boggling, so if you're a fan of any of those, this is the fic for you! Here with our disclaimer is… Fox!
Fox: Bustman doesn't own anything… except for his socks, underwear, shoelaces…
Bustman: I think they get the idea.
Fox: You sure? I've got a lot more. Swim trunks, hats…
Bustman: Yes, yes, that's all good. This is basically an untraditional game of Survivor… I know a million of these have already been made, but I really believe this one's going to be a lot of fun. Also, Dennis Lehane's wonderful novel Shutter Island inspired this story, but I don't own any of that either. Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW!!! It's the reviews that keep me motivated. I hope you enjoy!
"Fox! Fox snap out of it!"
Fox opened one eye. He found that he was on the floor, sheets wrapped around him. He tried to sit up, but he had a terrible migraine. He groaned.
"Here." Falco tossed him a few pills. Fox groped for the water bottle on top of the night table behind him. He popped the aspirin into his mouth and washed it down with a sip of water.
"What… why am I on the floor."
"You fell out of bed, and then began thrashing on the floor," Falco murmured. "I thought you were having a seizure… until…"
"What?" Fox asked dryly.
"Well, until you started shouting 'Krystal'." Falco muttered, refusing to meet Fox's gaze.
Fox felt a pang of sadness. Krystal…
"I'm sorry," Fox began. "I know it's been over a year, I shouldn't-"
Falco dismissed this with a wave of the feather. "Forget about it. Look, boss, if there's anything I can do to help…"
"You're doing enough by putting up with it." Fox untangled himself from the sheets and got up. "Anyways, let's get down to breakfast."
By the time they had gotten downstairs, however, only a single pancake, two strips of bacon, and a biscuit remained of the breakfast buffet.
"Kirby was here." Link muttered, walking over next to Falco and Fox. "Little monster. As if he doesn't get enough food sent to him by his fans already."
Fox sighed, and looked at Falco. "You take the pancake, I'll take the biscuit, and then a piece of bacon for both of us?"
"You got it." Falco picked up the pancake and swallowed it in one gulp. He then popped the piece of bacon into his mouth. Fox rolled his eyes.
"Attention, smashers!" Master Hand had floated up to the front of the room. The smashers went silent.
"Thank you! Now, as you know, it has been a very uneventful couple of months since all of the brawl buzz has worn off. So, I've decided to add a bit of excitement to the next few months here!"
"Yeah! Woot!" Captain Falcon jumped up on the end of his table. Diddy Kong heaved an anvil onto the other end of the table, which tilted the table and flung Captain Falcon into a wall.
"Er-yes. Smashers, let me introduce you to MC Ballyhoo and his partner, Big Top!"
A stout man wearing a bow tie and a top hat walked up to the front of the room. "Welcome, smashers! My name is MC Ballyhoo, and this is my partner, Big Top!" Ballyhoo gestured to the top hat on his head. There was silence, and then Ganondorf yelled "That's a freaking hat!"
"Shut up, asshole!" The hat opened its eyes and shouted back at Ganondorf.
"Oh my god, it's a talking hat!" Sonic exclaimed.
"Hey, I'm a talking hand." Master Hand sounded offended. Sonic shrugged.
"Yeah, but you're old news. This is a talking hat!"
"Yes, well, anyways…" Ballyhoo continued. "I'm running a reality show, and I'm planning for it to involve you!"
"Me?" Luigi asked. "I- I'm special!"
"Er… I actually meant all of you." Ballyhoo said. "But that's no reason to question your uniqueness, Luigi!"
"No one likes me," Luigi sniffled.
"This reality show will center on all of your smashers competing for a prize of $1 million dollars in cash!"
Wario fainted. Unfortunately, he landed on top of Olimar's pikmin, who all died a terribly painful death.
"Yes! All of you will be put onto an island, and then divided into five teams of seven! You will then compete in different challenges, fighting to avoid being booted off of the show!"
"This sounds very cliché…" Fox muttered.
"Ah, you haven't let me finish explaining!" Ballyhoo gave Fox a broad grin. "Now, you will be divided into different sections of the island. You will have to work with your team to get food and train for upcoming challenges.
"Now, on Day 1 is the immunity challenge. This is the first challenge of three. Usually it is a challenge that requires most or all of the team to participate. Whichever team emerges victorious will not have to participate in any of the other two challenges and will not have to boot anyone off for that round."
"Interesting, interesting…" Link murmured.
"On Day 2 is the brawl! This is the second challenge of three. It's basically a standard brawl of 4, with one smasher participating from each team (the team that wins the immunity challenge, will, of course, watch from the sidelines). It is fought on a random stage with two stock and all items on. The smasher who loses these two lives first will be booted off the island at the end of this day. The smashers that come in second or third will have to face off in the Safety Challenge- however, the team that comes in second usually gets some kind of advantage over the team that came in third in that round (head start, useful item, etc.). The smasher that comes in first grants his/her/its team immunity from the final round, and wins the team a reward."
"Wait… where do you go when you're booted off?" Ness asked.
"Good question! You are kept in a cell underneath the center of the island, only given stale bread and water!" Ballyhoo broadly grinned at Ness.
"Er- is participation in this reality show mandatory?" Red asked feverishly. Ness nudged him.
"Dude, shut up, its a million dollars."
"You will have a break on Day 3. On Day 4, however, is the Safety Challenge! This is the third and final challenge of three. The second and third-place contestants of the previous round participate in some kind of competition that usually only requires one smasher. The losing team must hold a tribal vote and kick one of their teammates off."
"Wait… so the loser of the brawl gets booted off, but the loser of the safety challenge doesn't?" Marth asked.
"Well, not necessarily. Your tribe could vote for the loser to get booted." Ballyhoo responded. "After Day 4, the cycle starts all over again. Any questions?"
The smashers were silent. Ballyhoo grinned.
"Excellent!" Ballyhoo grinned. He turned to Master Hand.
"I'll take them from here."
Master Hand sighed. "Thank God… I mean, I'll miss you guys!" Master Hand waved. MC Ballyhoo turned back to the smashers.
"You all ready?"
"Wait, don't we get time to pack?" Peach asked. Ballyhoo laughed.
"Oh, you won't need any packing. Ready? Then let's go!"
Before the smashers knew what had happened, they were standing atop a mountain, overlooking a vast island. Ballyhoo was standing in front of them, still smiling broadly.
"Welcome to your new home! Quaint, isn't it?"
Peach gave a kind of hysterical laugh. "Quaint? You call this dump quaint???"
Ballyhoo ignored her. "Yes, this will be your home for the next two months. That is," a dark look passed over Ballyhoo's face. "The ones who manage to survive…
"Well, anyways. As you know, you will all be split up into five teams of seven. I have chosen the 5 Super Smash Bros. team mascots to be team leaders! Mario, Link, Kirby, Pikachu and Sonic, will you all come to the front?"
"Good luck." Fox clapped Link on the back. Link nodded and went up to the front.
"Now basically, this is just a game of kickball on the school yard. Mario, you choose who you want, and then Link, then Kirby, then Pikachu, then Sonic, and then back to Mario again. Kapeesh?"
"I don't get it." Captain Falcon said. Samus rolled her eyes and smacked him over the head.
"Alright! Let the choosing begin!" Ballyhoo cried.
"I've got Snake." Mario said immediately. The mercenary grinned and walked over to Mario.
"Good choice."
Link studied the crowd. "I've got Samus." He declared. Fox thought this was a rather good choice. Samus had two different forms, which would undoubtedly help for challenges.
Kirby chose Red, Pikachu chose Bowser, Sonic chose Lucario, and then it was back to Mario again, who chose Wolf. Link studied the crowd.
"I've got Fox."
Fox arched an eyebrow, surprised to be a second pick. He smiled, and then walked over to Link. He was glad to be on the humble swordsman's team.
"Thanks," he murmured to Link. Link nodded.
"Hey, we're going to need your speed on reflexes.
"Ahem."
"Uh, and you're a valuable member to our team as well, Samus. That's why I chose you first."
And so it went around and around until Jigglypuff was chosen for Sonic's team.
"Why am I always last pick?" she whimpered.
"And there we have it! I will now teleport you to your new base camps!" Ballyhoo said.
"Don't forget to rest tonight!" Top Hat squeaked. Sonic's jaw dropped open.
"It can talk!"
Those were the last words Fox heard before he found himself tumbling onto the forest ground. He shook his head to clear it and groggily got up. He was standing in front of a small, clear blue pond. Large, green trees surrounded it, and Fox could hear birds singing in the distance. Fox brushed himself off and then looked around for any sign of his teammates.
"Oi! Fox!"
Fox looked around and saw Lucas running toward him. Fox smiled.
"Hey Lucas. Do you know-"
"Where the rest of the team is? No." Lucas said. "But they've got to be around here somewhere. Come on."
Lucas took Fox's hand and gave him a small tug. Fox smiled warmly at the small boy and then they walked, hand in hand, into the forest.
The first teammate they found was Olimar. He was desperately scrambling around, looking for his yellow pikmin.
"Ah, screw it." Olimar finally sighed, picking a new pikmin out of the ground. "Wario probably landed on top of him."
Fox looked around and then eyed a yellow figure lying on his back, snoring in the trees. Fox walked over to Wario and shoved him.
"Wake up, you lazy bum."
Wario opened one eye. "Wha- this isn't Sacramento!"
Fox rolled his eyes and heaved Wario up to his feet. "Have you seen anyone else?"
"Um… I saw you."
Fox rolled his eyes. Suddenly, he felt something small and slimy land on top of his head. Instinctively, he swatted it away. It was a used banana peel. Fox looked up to see Donkey Kong munching on a banana in a tree above him.
"What's up, doc?"
"Okay," Fox sighed. "Well this is five of us. All we're missing are-"
"Link and Samus?" a voice from behind him asked. He spun around to see the two smashers standing right in front of him.
"OK, we have everyone." Fox nodded. "Now we just need to find a base camp."
"Done and done." Link nodded. "I landed in a forest clearing near a spring where we can collect water. There are hammocks that Ballyhoo already hung up. It's perfect."
"Where is it?" Donkey Kong asked, jumping down from his tree.
"Follow me." Link dashed through the forest. Fox ran after him. Wario was left behind in the dust. He began to grumble and dragged his feet toward the camp.
Bustman: Well, there it is! Please review- I need at least three reviews to continue to the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed!