Coke, Mentos, and Durex

Disclaimer: I don't own Coke, Mentos, Hetalia, or Durex (it's a brand of condoms). I got this idea from an Italian YouTube science experiment, which I also do not own or am affiliated with... I will put the link at the end of this A/N. Whoever came up with that idea is a genius x). To fully understand what's going on, I suggest that you watch the video first before reading this. And don't worry; the video and this Fanfiction aren't nearly as dirty as they seem to be... they just put condoms to an interesting use xD.

watch?v=59L51yWUFiQ

America sat on his sofa with his iPad in his lap, absolutely cracking up. He clutched his stomach, his howling hoots of laughter making his abdominal muscles ache. Tears rolled down his cheeks, eventually dripping off of his chin to stain his clothes.

Tony, his gray alien sidekick, walked into the living room, drawn out by his friend's hysterical wailing. He eyed America suspiciously. "Fucking?" he asked, scratching his head in confusion. Sure, he was well aware that America was an idiot, but he'd never quite seen him like this.

"Tony!" America gasped. "Tony! Tony! You have to watch this video! Oh my god! Ahahahahahahaha!" He rolled over and shoved the iPad in Tony's direction. "Come here!"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Fucking."

America's laughs quieted. "Wait, what?"

Tony sighed. "Fucking fuck."

America scrambled off the sofa. "Dude, what the hell?" he shouted, hurriedly grabbing his bomber jacket off of the floor. "Why didn't you tell me there was a G8 meeting in ten minutes?!"

The little alien shrugged. "Fuck."

America grumbled to himself and grabbed his iPad. Shooting Tony a dirty look, he rushed out of the house, slamming the door tightly shut as he left.

XxxxX

"Where on earth is that American dummkopf?" Germany wondered aloud, impatiently strumming his fingers on the meeting table. "He's over an hour late! If he doesn't hurry up, we'll have to skip him!"

England snorted, leaning back in his chair. "Knowing that buffoon, he's probably picking up burgers or something."

Twirling his blonde hair in his fingers, France sighed. "Really, I do not mind waiting for him. If we start without him, it'll be Angleterre's turn to speak, and I'd rather eat his horrible British food than be forced to hear him talk anymore."

England spluttered. "Frog! Shut your filthy mouth!"

France and England began fighting, flailing their arms at each other in a most undignified manner.

Germany groaned, resigning himself to the fact that the meeting would end up to be a total waste of time. Beside him, Italy clung to his arm, stroking it in a way that never failed to get Germany's attention. "Veeeee, Germany," Italy cooed, gazing up at his boyfriend through lowered eyelashes. "If America is getting burgers, can we leave to get pasta?"

Germany opened his mouth to respond when the doors to the meeting hall slammed open.

"Hey dudes!" America shouted, beaming at the other seven nations cheekily. "The hero is here!"

England spun around, completely forgetting that he had France in a headlock. "Idiot! You're extremely late!"

America waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, you're a prude, we know."

Ignoring the outraged choking noises coming from the older nation, he began to saunter over to his seat. As he went, he took his time to greet every nation he passed. After all, as the hero, he had to show the other countries how diplomatic he was.

"Bonjour, France! What's new in croissant land?" France glared at him, fixing his hair from where England's headlock had messed it up.

"Russia! What's new with you? Putin still being an asshole?" Russia's childlike smile didn't falter, but Germany did notice that his grip on his pipe tightened.

"Italy! Ciao! How are-" America stopped dead in his tracks, his jaw falling open into an almost creepily excited grin. "Italy..."

America's blatant staring managed to catch everyone's attention but Italy's. The room quieted considerably, save for Italy's "Veeeee, Germany, Germany, Germany!"

Eventually, however, he noticed America looking at him. Turning from Germany, he eyed America a bit nervously. "V-Veee, Mister America... Why are you looking at me like that? Is something wrong?"

America gaped at him for a moment more before murmuring, "You don't happen to watch YouTube, do you?"

Italy cocked his head, looking confused. "Well, my prime minister's niece likes to watch it, so she shows it to me sometimes." He smiled to himself. "I especially like it when she shows it to me when I'm supposed to be working! It's always fun to slack off." He sighed contentedly at the thought, not noticing the way Germany narrowed his eyes at this statement.

America stood up a bit straighter, his face adopting a more... hopeful expression. "You didn't happen to see that video posted a while ago, did you? It's in Italian, and it's the one with the Coca Cola-"

"Oh!" Italy interjected excitedly. "Is that the one with the Mentos and the...?" He giggled, placing a hand over his mouth as if embarrassed.

America's grin got wider. "Yeah..."

For a moment, they simply stared at each other, biting their lips and looking as if they were trying not to laugh. After a split-second passed, however, their laughter broke through, and the two nations were left in stitches. America actually fell to his knees due to laughing so much, and Italy was giggling so hard that he had tears in his eyes. The other nations watched, baffled, before America finally managed to speak.

"Ahahaha! Oh... Oh God... Dude, Italy, I had no idea your people were so FREAKING COOL!"

Italy gasped with laughter, trying hard to get his words out. "A-America! I had no idea your American condoms were so strong!" At this, a few nations raised their eyebrows and Germany frowned suspiciously.

"Pfffffft! As if! Durex condoms are English! American condoms would be, like, a hundred times better!" Still laughing, he gave England a thumbs up from across the room. "Though your people do make a mighty fine rubber, Iggy!"

Turning towards Italy again, he choked out, "Dude, did you see how freaking HUGE that thing got? Oh my god!"

Italy giggled harder, nodding his head vigorously. "Si! It was the biggest one I've ever seen!" He pounded the table with his fist, tears leaking down his face. Japan and England started murmuring amongst themselves, shooting Italy and America funny looks. Canada eyed Germany sympathetically; the blonde man seemed to be torn between staying calm and slapping America senseless. France, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying himself, eating up each word of the conversation.

"Ahaha! And when it exploded! OH MY GOOD GOD! It went EVERYWHERE!" At this point America had fallen on all fours, laughing so much that a bit of drool dribbled onto the floor. "And the ending! Oh, the ending! 'SIIIIIIIIIIIII ITALIAAAAAAA! SIIIIIIIIIIIII ITALIAAAAAAA!'"

Italy shrieked with giggles. "Imagine what it would be like without a condom!" Overcome with hysterics, Italy leaned on Germany's arm for support (the fact that his boyfriend was practically shaking with anger didn't seem to be registering).

America took one look at Italy and burst out laughing even louder than before. "HOLY FREAKING COW! THAT WOULD BE EPIC!"

Italy wiped the tears from his eyes, grinning. "Veeeee, America! We should try it ourselves to see what happens!"

This seemed to be Germany's breaking point. He grabbed Italy's shoulders harshly, startling the poor man. "Italy! What the hell is going on?!" Though his face wore a furious expression, Italy knew him well enough to see that he was almost on the verge of tears.

Italy looked at him confusedly. "Veeee, Germany, what's wrong?"

Germany spluttered at him before releasing his shoulders. Getting up from his chair, he dragged America up off the floor. For several moments he couldn't even speak, his mouth only managing to make little squeaks. Finally, he managed to regain control over his vocal cords. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Huh?" America said, still smiling stupidly. "Why are you so mad? It's just a YouTube video!"

For once, Italy seemed to sense the mood. Rubbing Germany's arm in that comforting way of his, he cooed worriedly, "Don't be sad, Germany! If you want, you can do our experiment with us!" In the background, a distinctly French "Ohonhonhonhonhon!" could be heard.

Germany recoiled. "Italy, I can't believe you're actually asking me to have a threesome with you two!"

Complete silence followed this. The other five nations in the room looked completely mystified at the events that were unfolding in front of them, though France looked much more happy than confused. Italy and America exchanged a bewildered glance. "Dude, Germany..." America finally said. "What are you talking about?"

Germany threw his hands up in the air. "Oh, so now you're going to play innocent, huh?" He jabbed his finger at America's chest. "Well screw you, America! The only one that gets to sleep with Italy is me!" Immediately after the words came out, he realized what he said. Blushing fiercely, he cupped his face in his hands, trying to ignore the sounds of France's catcalls.

America raised an eyebrow. "Germany, do you know what we're talking about? Did you even watch the video?" He turned to look at the other assembled nations. "Did any of you guys watch the video?"

Through his hands, Germany groaned a muffled, "What gottverdammt video?"

America chuckled. "Only the best video in the freaking world!" Patting Germany's head in what was meant to be a soothing matter (but honestly just came off as being patronizing), he pulled out his iPad. "Here, let me show it to ya!"

XxxxX

Three minutes later, the entire meeting room was absolutely dying. England and Canada were rolling in the aisles, France was banging the table with his fists, Japan was giggling like a schoolgirl, and even Russia was chortling quietly to himself. The only one that hadn't succumbed to the sheer delirium of the video was Germany. His head in his hands, he sighed wearily to himself. I really need to monitor Italy's browser history...

Author's Note #2: Lol, I had so much fun writing this! I saw this video a few weeks ago and was like, "How would the Hetalia characters react to this?" Though I do feel pretty bad for Germany xD.