Authors' notes: This story takes place in August, 1983 in the Day On Universe, after Charting a New Course, but before For Those Who Love. Dash, Lynne, Sean, Molly, Bree, Blackie, Barnaby, Sig, Bron, Tris and the rest of the Day On characters belong to Amanda and Mary and may not be used without their consent.
All canonical characters: Daniel, Carolyn, Martha, Claymore, Candy and Jonathan, etc. belong to the estate of R.A. Dick and Fox studios.
Knight Rider characters, Devon Miles, Michael Knight, Bonnie and KITT belong to Glen Larson and Universal Studios.
The wonderful lyrics of Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance, which is in public domain, are used in this story, and two lines of the song Wonderful World are quoted within, and belong to Sam Cooke, Lou Adler and Herb Alpert. My Fair Lady (our inspiration) belongs to George Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion) Alan J. Lerner and Frederick Lowe.
We would also like to thank the authors of the original GAMM canon stories: Captain Gregg's Whiz Bang, Ladies' Man and Pain in the Neck. Both authors extend their thanks to Debbie B. for some information about Claymore's car, to Judy M. for some help with ballroom etiquette, to our faithful readers for inspiring us to continue with these stories, and to God, for all things.
My Fair Claymore
Mary and Amanda
1 - INTERLUDE
August 1, 1983
"Come right in, Claymore," Martha Peavey invited the nervous-looking man. "The Captain and Mrs. Gregg are in with Dash and Dr. Lynne, but I don't think they'd mind you being there, too."
The lanky man gulped. "Are you sure? I mean, he's him and I'm me." He fidgeted on the doorstep of Gull Cottage. "Does this mean that Candy's already found a baby?"
Martha blinked, and then frowned. "What makes you think that?"
"Well, I know Dash and the Captain aren't exactly the grandparents, but Mrs. Gregg and Dr. Lynne will be, and the guys will act like it, so that's as good as, isn't it? If they're all having a meeting, I just thought that it was a sign something good had happened, you know?"
"Strangely enough, I was able to follow that," Martha sighed. "But, no. It's not even been a whole week since Candy and Thom decided! Miracles take a little time."
"I guess," Claymore shrugged. "So, I can come in?"
"Didn't I just say so?"
"Well, yeah, but you've had time to re-think it."
Shaking her head, Martha led him to the sitting room where the discussion was so intense that no one noticed their entrance except for the two young cats who looked up with mild curiosity before returning to their nap.
"I don't think we need to be too concerned about who the birth-parents are, when and if the kids find a baby to adopt," Lynne said. "Candy and Thom, with all our generous helps, I'm sure, will be providing their — help me, Charlie?"
The noble ghost frowned and then smiled, "Spiritual DNA?"
"I like that," Carolyn beamed.
"Of course you do, I said it," Dash winked.
"Here now, old son," Daniel warned. "We each have our own wife."
"I am not about to forget it."
"I think both biology and upbringing are factors," the Captain remarked.
"I can't argue, but can you honestly say that the environment and so on is not the predominant one?" the doctor countered. "Look at Jon and Candy. Carolyn has good genes, but they're half their natural father, too. And from what I hear, he wasn't anything to write home about, once you got to know him. YOU were and are the father that shaped them, not he. And Alan was a great guy, but I don't see much of him in Thom."
After a few moments, Daniel inclined his head. "You do make a strong case. It would have been interesting to see if the true Gregg genes might have manifested in Claymore, had a proper Gregg, such as I, been the one to raise him. He did show some signs of improvement when I taught him to be me, albeit a poor imitation, for the sake of the Muirs, Emily and Brad, and Harriet." The last name made him shudder. "He even did well as himself when I schooled him for the Centennial games and his romantic efforts."
"Ah, yes," Carolyn nodded. "But I don't think the Centennial incident counts, really, Daniel. You possessed Claymore most of the time for that little adventure; practically from the moment you found out he had volunteered your silver service as the grand prize."
"Which he never would have done, if he had known what he had," the Captain chuckled. "But it was so tarnished; I do believe he thought it was scrap metal."
"Hey!" Claymore protested from the doorway. "No fair talking about me when I am not here to defend myself. Besides, I was not THAT bad, or that much as a-a-turkey, like Jon says. Those contests! I did win the deck swabbing one all on my own."
"Only after I knocked the bucket over," Daniel cut in. "But I do see your point, Carolyn. Claymore would have never won the harpoon toss, barrel stacking, fish cleaning OR climbing the mast if I hadn't been there to help."
"HELP??" Claymore interrupted with a scowl, "Possess me, you mean. And that isn't coaching, teaching or anything of the sort."
"You might have learned by observation."
"You didn't give me enough time to get as good as you. You don't become athletic overnight, you know. Besides, I have a factory reject body. I know that. I just wasn't designed for sports and other physical things. I rely on my business savvy and, well, other stuff to get me by. And I haven't done so badly—" His voice trailed off.
"Gotta love that fifth amendment," Lynne muttered.
Claymore scratched his head. "Which one is that again? Free Press?"
"I refuse to answer on the grounds I might incriminate myself."
"But I did answer you. Say, how come you guys are talking about me behind my back anyway?" Claymore took off his glasses and wiped them and stared myopically at the group. "I guess you do that a lot, huh?"
"Not really," Daniel quipped.
"Oh," he shrugged, and put his glasses back on. "So what is all this talk about trying to revamp me then?"
"I'm not quite sure," Carolyn smiled, "But I assure you it is nothing personal, exactly." She gestured to the low table in front of him. "Would you like a snack? Coffee or something?"
"It was personal if you were using ME as an example," Claymore insisted, reaching for a large muffin, but he stopped and glanced toward Doctor Lynne, and then took a small shortbread cookie instead.
"If you must know, old son," Dashire chimed in, "We were arguing the subject of environment versus heredity when it comes to raising children."
"I'm not a child," Claymore sniffed.
"You once were," Martha pointed out.
"Yeah, well so were you, and Doctor Lynne and Lord Dashire and Mrs. — Aunt Carolyn and even Old Spooky there." Claymore made a wave toward the Captain. "What has that got to do with anything?"
"Do you think you'd be different if you had been raised by someone else?" Carolyn asked as she shot her ghost a glance. There had been the smallest of thunder ripples as she had been called "aunt."
Claymore shrugged. "I dunno; I really don't. My mother wasn't anything like the outdoor athletic type and neither was my father. No stamina. I guess I inherited that from them. It's in the blood, as they say."
"I think perhaps Carolyn meant in general, not just athletics," Lynne cut in. "But that reminds me, Claymore, are you still exercising, as I ordered you to?"
"Well, yeah kind of. I, uh, yes."
"What does that mean?" Lynne frowned.
"Well, you said I need to walk at least a half-a-mile a day, but sometimes I do it a block at a time, throughout the day. I'll walk to Norrie's for lunch, and then walk back, or I will walk to the bank and then back to my office. Like that. I don't work up a sweat that way, and get my errands done at the same time."
"Sustained effort would do you more good."
"You just said a half-a-mile a day, you never said all at once."
Daniel shook his head. "You see, Dash? If Claymore had been raised differently, taught differently, coached differently, starting as a boy, before he had all these bad habits ingrained into him, we wouldn't be having this conversation,"
Claymore half-rose from his chair. "I am doing better! I am! Now you have to PROMISE me you and your — your GANG of ghosties aren't going to go haunting me and making me think I'm an inept ghost again."
Daniel chuckled. "No, dear boy, I promise we won't repeat that performance, but—" He paused, and turned back to his other guests. "I still maintain, that I — if given a free hand, in a month — less, if Claymore were to truly apply and dedicate himself to the job, that I could pass Claymore James Gregg off as a gentleman to be reckoned with anywhere: intelligent, confident, etcetera."
"Careful, Danny," Dash warned. "You are quoting your most famous role."
"Hmm?"
"Professor Higgins, old boy."
The other spirit rolled his eyes.
Claymore looked thoughtful for a moment. "Don't forget, I have been compared, favorably, to THE Gregory Peck!" he said, finally.
"Who said that?" Martha asked, hiding a smile.
"Paula and Betty," Claymore answered immediately. "You remember them, Mrs. Mu— Gregg's old college friends. They were crazy about me."
Carolyn bit her lip; he did not need to know it'd been a set-up. Before he could make a sound, she squeezed her husband's hand.
"And Aggie liked me too, after Captain Gregg coached me a little on the fine art of dazzling women," Claymore continued. "It's just that her other boyfriend, Stuart, beat me to the punch. He proposed over the phone before I could get the words out."
"Easy to say that in retrospect," Martha observed.
"We could have been happy," Claymore insisted.
"Claymore," Carolyn said gently. "We've gotten a little derailed here, and haven't even asked why you made the trip out here today. What can we do for you?"
"Well, obviously, I need a whole new personality, not to mention, lifestyle; to put it bluntly, a makeover," he laughed shortly. "But actually, I just came by here to say hi, and see if Sean and Molly and maybe Bree were around? I'm on the town council so I need to be kept aware of all the cotillion stuff, and since Bree is in charge, and I think Sean and Molly are helping with some of the music—"
"—As is Tristan," Daniel added.
"Right," Claymore nodded slowly. "So anyway, I just wanted to see how things were — ah — going." For a moment, it looked like the man was going to say something else, but he stopped short. "I guess if they aren't here, I should get going, then."
Feeling sorry for him, Carolyn said, "Keep your seat; tell us how things are coming on that front."
"What? The cotillion?"
"Yes, Claymore."
The older man shrugged. "Good, from what I know of it. Invitations have been sent out to everyone and anyone, I think. Even folks that most likely will not come will buy a ticket anyway, like Miss Grover, the Shoemakers. Sorry about that," he made a face. "And I believe Bree mentioned she even sent a letter to your — ah — 'cousin,' Daniel, I mean Devon Miles." He smiled. "Knight Industries will look good on the sponsorship list, even if Devon doesn't come, and he DID say he wanted to be notified. "You think he will show up?" A slight shadow seemed to cross over his face. "If Mr. Miles makes an appearance, you two look-alikes will be the talk of the evening, just like you were at the Irish festival last year; the second day, anyway!"
"I was always the talk of every dance I attended," the Captain informed him regally.
"But your dance card is full for this one," Carolyn added.
"Naturally, my dear."
"So, it might be a good thing if there was a spare Miles on the ballroom floor," Martha suggested.
"I don't suppose you've got a twin, Charlie?" Lynne asked with a smirk.
"There's just one of me, though I did have a cousin, during my lifetime, with whom I bore enough resemblance with to fool our mothers. He was into archaeology, never knew what became of Henry."
"Ahem. Anyway, the cotillion is just the FIRST fund-raiser Bree's got scheduled. Since Schooner Bay hardly ever uses the jail," Claymore went on. "Toward the end of August or early September, she's persuaded the Town Council to let her have a "get out of jail" money-maker. The local glitterati will be imprisoned, in shifts, and they get out at the end of the day or when someone donates a fee for them to charity. I volunteered, but I'll probably be getting Norrie's take-out prison food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner — again."
Daniel shook his head. "Claymore, if you hadn't tried to take my barometer you wouldn't have ended up in jail to begin with."
"But technically, it was mine," the other man protested feebly, as if already knowing what the answer would be.
"Then why did you sneak into the house?" Carolyn asked.
"The Captain would never have given it to me to sell voluntarily," Claymore shot back.
"Quite right," Daniel grinned. "You were in a — lose-lose situation there."
"Worse," Claymore shrugged. "I also ended up out the fifty bucks I paid Deke Tuttle to make the pretend one, and then I ended up paying Buzzie Fenwick a hundred and twenty-five dollars to get back the imitation one I sold him when YOU said I gave him the original, so I was really out a hundred and seventy-five dollars."
Carolyn shook her head. "Only seventy-five dollars, Claymore. The extra twenty-five to Buzzie, and the fifty to Deke. The hundred was just giving Mr. Fenwick back his own money, which was twice what you paid Deke to make it."
"But it was mine for a few hours! I really got to like it in that time!"
"You didn't come by it honestly, though."
"Does it count that I learned something out of the experience? I never tried taking anything out of your house after that. Captain Gregg's silver service I donated for the Centennial doesn't count. I had that, I swear. I think maybe my dad removed it from these premises a long time before. It's just that — Captain you DO have a lot of stuff. You didn't even know it was missing right away. I had to have had it for a long, long time, given how tarnished it was."
"I doubt it had been polished since it was pilfered," Daniel huffed. "If not cared for, silver tarnishes quickly."
"Agreed," Martha nodded. "It took me three hours to shine it up, once we got it home."
"I never used it," Claymore defended himself.
"Obviously," Daniel replied. "And Claymore, you did too try to take something else from this house. Remember our little seal friend, Algae?"
"He wasn't a THING, he was a seal," Claymore shrugged. "But you are right, I did, I am very sorry and now that you have brought it up again, can you just not mention it any more? I get the message, and right now I have other fish to fry, or something like that. Obviously Bree, Molly and Sean aren't around, so I guess I better go try to work out my issues on my own. Everyone can't be you guys." He stood. "Catch you on the flip side, all, I can see myself out."
"Claymore, I'm sure Daniel was not trying to insult you; don't go off mad!" Carolyn protested.
"Oh, I'm not. I just have other stuff to do. You know, mountains to climb, lobster to boil — whatever. Are you guys going to Bible study this week?"
"Of course," Dash replied.
"Well, then I will see you at church, I guess. I can always work on my inner self there, and the lessons are always interesting. Thanks for the snack. See you later, bye!" with a wave, the man had scuttled out to the hall and was out the door and gone.
"I just wanted to keep the facts straight and accurate," the seaman huffed, looking more than a bit uncomfortable.
"But everyone knows and sees their own life better than the closest observers," Lynne pointed out. She frowned. "I almost wish I had caught him before he got out the door and brought him into the office for an exam. Something is up with him. I just don't know what. You spirits—" She glanced at Daniel and her husband, "Are supposed to be able to see into the soul a little more than us mere mortal-types. Do you know what is bothering him? I think it is more than anything we said in the last half-hour."
"He did seem to arrive here sort of droopyish," Carolyn said thoughtfully.
"However, none of us, not even Fontenot, is Professor X; mind reading is not among our gifts," Dash told her.
"I KNOW that, but you all have told me over and over again, that you CAN see the real person, not their outer covering. So what could you see about Claymore today?" She frowned. "Professor Who?"
"A character in his comic books," Lynne smiled at the incongruity of a Victorian nobleman being fascinated by modern science fantasy illustrated stories.
"Oh," Carolyn nodded. "Well, could you tell anything, even if you aren't — what's his name?"
"That he is not altogether happy, which was evident to ordinary eyes even," the Captain shrugged.
"But more or less than usual, and what is bugging him, I just don't know." Dash scratched his chin. "But I've always gotten along FAIRLY well with him, going back to when we teamed up to get you two reunited, remember? Claymore really gathered himself together during that time, too, in his way, voluntarily coming under his own steam to meet a NEW ghost. It was around then that I gave him his nom-de-plume— 'Clay'."
"More suitable than his true name, which means a sword," Daniel quipped.
"Maybe he had a relative with the name?" Martha asked. "I was the thirteenth Martha in my family, going back about three generations. I would have rather been a Mary, but I like Martha better than Mable, which was also considered."
Daniel pondered and then said, "Perhaps on his maternal side, He's the first to have the name Gregg with it."
"He ought to be a first at something," Dash smiled. "Still, I would like to know what is eating at him. He came here today looking like he has more on his mind that wanting to talk to Bree, Molly and Sean."
"Anyone consider asking him?" Martha queried. "I confess, I didn't think of it. Not straight out, I mean. I should have. Or one of us should've."
"Maybe he doesn't feel like sharing?" Lynne asked. "Claymore, for all his eccentricities, is rather a private person. I was thinking that just the other day; I had his med chart out to update it. I never thought of it before, but he doesn't have ONE relative written down to contact in case of emergency. Now, I know this is a small town, and naturally WE would know, just like we did when he had his heart incident back in August of seventy-nine. But that's really rather sad. I just never thought about it before."
"Could he be in love?" Carolyn asked, "His wistful quality today; it DID remind me a little of a long time ago when he wasn't doing well in the dating circle."
"Are there any new women in town?" Daniel frowned.
"I don't believe so," Lynne answered. "And nobody has picked up and moved, either."
"His parents are both gone," Carolyn put in. "I never hear him talk about his mother or father, not since the little he said about him during that Halloween party we had here so long ago."
"Aye," Daniel nodded. "James Gregg went to his reward shortly after Claymore came home from his hitch in the Army in 1952: a heart attack; and I believe his mother died in 1957; some quick-acting cancer. To be honest, I only found out about both their deaths for the first time when Claymore came to Gull Cottage as an adult, not a child. I remember he showed up one Sunday afternoon, barged his way in under the mistaken impression that because he hadn't seen me since he was twelve, that I was no longer haunting my home."
"Had HE been back since then?" Carolyn asked, remembering Daniel's story of his first meeting of Claymore, on a Halloween long before.
"No, so how he would know what I was up to was quite beyond me."
"Maybe he'd convinced himself you'd been an illusion, albeit a damp one," Dash quipped, thinking about the bucket of water his friend had tossed on the boy Claymore.
"Or his parents hadn't mentioned any run-ins with the ghost?" Lynne added.
"Perhaps."
"I wonder if it would be at all helpful if one of us let the O'Caseys and Bree know that Claymore needs, or thinks he does, to talk with them?" Martha mused. "Not to mention, Tris. He is providing his minstrel service for the dance, though I'm
betting it's mostly so he can avoid having TO step out on the floor with a certain young lady whose mama is pushing her down every single man's throat."
"I thought you were referring to Miss Hasslepickle, until you said 'lady'," Daniel winked.
"I was being kind. Since becoming the almost permanent regular organist at church, I ought to maybe be a bit less—"
"—Honest?" Daniel baited.
"Blunt," Carolyn suggested.
"I'll go with what she said, Captain," Martha decided.
"As you wish."
"Well, don't go too far, Martha dear," Dash winked. "Your frankness has always been one of your most endearing charms. Now, if Penelope is getting truly desperate, we might need to warn Devon to keep young Michael away from here, as regrettable as that is. He seems to be the sort to attract her, and I don't think the car would care for her company either. I also might want to—"
"No," Lynne said firmly. "Let Blackie and Bree take things at their OWN pace, Charlie my love."
"My darling, you are taking all the fun out of it!"
"How would you have liked it if the rest of the family forced us down each other's throats, instead of letting us manage our own love-life?"
"Which took ENTIRELY too long, may I say," Daniel added.
"I agree with Danny."
"Oh, pooh; you weren't ready either, and you know it."
"But I ought to have been."
"Stop looking over your shoulder, both of you," Carolyn scolded. "You got married when the time was right. Besides, I don't want to hear about long courtships. I am interested in the here and now and what may or may not be bothering Claymore."
"What's more, WE have the record on extended courting," her husband pointed out.
"Indeed," She gave him a soft smile. "But I wouldn't change anything. The issue now is to maybe go check on Claymore, and do what we can to help Bree get ready for the cotillion."
Dash cocked his head. "I don't suppose Jon has a date in mind yet?"
"I think he wants to be free to dance with a dozen girls if he so wishes," Carolyn sighed.
"Including the Hassen girl? He'd be better off with a date."
"Did you have anyone in mind, especially?" Martha asked, "Or is it that you just can't bear not having someone to match-make?"
"Just curious."
"Uh-huh, right."
"Really!"
"Actually, I was wondering if he might decide to take Bethany," Lynne put in.
"Is she around?" Dash lifted a brow.
"Well, I hadn't wanted to mention it before, because nothing was settled, but you remember, she was looking for a place to intern this summer—"
"Here in Schooner Bay?" Daniel asked, tugging his earlobe.
"No, but a friend of mine, James Watson, another doctor, who has an office in Pripet, is going to be losing his office clerk/receptionist, and I got inspired. Called Jon, and he had Bethany's number. She'll be here in about a week, and stay for the next month or so, until fall term at the university starts." Lynne smiled. "After talking to her, I think she would have paid to have a job, not the other way around. She sounded somewhere between lonely and stir crazy when I reached her." The doctor shrugged. "So anyway, she will be sort of in the area. James and his wife have a spare room for her to stay in, too."
"Sounds like a date made in heaven," Dash chuckled. "Then Jon won't have to be worried about Penny."
"Penny IS at least a year older than he is. Older even."
"That's not much to a desperate mama."
"True. But it is up to Jon to ask her. No pushing."
"Blast."
"Bethany's a sweet kid," Carolyn smiled. "When she brought Jon home after Thom's accident, I was very impressed. Thanks for helping her." She sighed, "Now, to help Claymore."
"Maybe he is just having a bad day," Daniel said. "He does tend to magnify his problems."
"He is a psychological hypochondriac," the doctor agreed dryly.
"Now, that's not quite fair," Martha interjected. "He did have that heart scare, and that bronchitis/walking pneumonia he got during And Then There Were None was no joke either."
"What I mean is he blows all of his problems into something bigger than they are, not just health related issues. He'll GET some real ones, though, if he keeps up the fretting."
"Well that's true. Still I would like to know what he is worried about. Remember what happened when we lost track of Elroy? We almost misplaced him permanently."
A remnant of his old self wanted to ask why that would be bad, but Daniel withheld his statement.
"Someone can give him a call later," Carolyn nodded. "Or pop for a visit," She glanced at her husband and Lynne at hers.
"I doubt I would be welcome," the Captain objected.
"You would. Honestly, Daniel, haven't you figured out a LITTLE about Claymore Gregg after all these years? He does admire and respect you, and his own way, I think he wants to be like you. He just can't. It's not in him."
Daniel grinned, "I could ask such a feat of no one, though some might come close." He nodded to his former crewman, one of the few men he might consider looking up to.
Martha rolled her eyes. "I hate repeating myself, but we are going to have to start building on that extra room at Gull Cottage again."
"What?" Dash and Lynne said together.
"To hold our dear Captain's ego, of course."
There was laughter all around.