Author's Note: I was upset and did what I always do when I'm upset. Listen to music and write. I still had one more in me, apparently. Sorry for making you all depressed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.
They never knew what was wrong with him until it was too late. The didn't know that he couldn't take it anymore. They didn't know how much pain he was in.
Logan stared at the paper in his hand. It'd been three days and every time he thought about it, he felt like he was being punched in the stomach. His best friend had committed suicide. His best friend since kindergarten.
He missed Carlos. It had only been a few days, and he missed him so much it hurt. Logan couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and was quickly falling into the same depression that had taken Carlos' life. He couldn't pull out of it. He couldn't stop the emotional pain or the physical numbness that had taken over. It was too much. He couldn't take it.
He read the heartbreaking note again.
"Dear Kendall, Logan, and James.
Guys, I know you're going to be mad at me for this. I know I should have gone to you guys to talk to you. I know that I should have gotten help. But I just couldn't. Don't blame yourselves. I'm better off where I am.
Love you guys, Carlos."
Carlos had been shaking when he'd wrote it, Logan could tell. He was so mad at himself for not noticing the pain Carlos had been in. He knew there had been a little bit of bullying, but he couldn't process how it had gone that far. He just couldn't think about it.
Logan looked at the object he'd brought with him. It was a sharp knife, and Logan picked it up in his hands and wondered how he should end it. It hurt too much to be without Carlos.
"Logan!" a familiar voice said. But it was impossible. That voice would never be heard again.
"Logan," this time the voice was more gentle, and something knocked the knife out of Logan's hand. He looked up to see an outline of his best friend.
"C-carlos," he choked on his words, shaking more now. "You're dead."
"You can't do this, Logan," Carlos shook his head. "You can't leave Kendall and James."
"You left us," Logan said flatly.
"Logan," Carlos said sadly. "Please. Live your life. For me? Become the greatest doctor in the world. Get married. Have kids. Don't dwell on my death. Please?"
Logan just stared at his dead friend, wondering how to respond.
Author's Note: That's it. I left it open for you to decide. I couldn't figure out anything. I have a few things to discuss with you guys.
One: I had an idea. There's a lot of bullying around the world. I know all of you have dealt with bullying at some point, whether the victim, bully, or bystander. I'm going to try and start an Anti-Bullying campaign on FanFiction. All you have to do is write a story or a one-shot that has to do with bullying and put Anti-Bullying in the summary. I know it's kind of lame, but I really care about it.
Two: I don't know how soon I'm going to be able to update Broken Beyond Repair. It hits too close to home right now, and I'm having writer's block. Sorry about that, but I'll give you one-shots and stuff. I hope.
Three: Thank you to all of you who have reviewed and offered to talk to me. I just wanted to say that I want to be able to be there for you guys to talk to, too. Even though we all thought 2 kool 2 spell 'kool' right had died and she didn't, everyone was affected by it, and I don't ever want to lose one of you guys. My email is toriizcrazy gmail. com. Take out the spaces and you can email me if you need to talk. You can also PM me. Thanks for supporting me and others who need it during this sad time.
-Tori