Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction and I make no profit out of it.
Warnings: Crack (a lot of it), strange humour, end spoilers for first series, characters being slightly out of character? I don't know.
A/N: Quick drabble written for a friend, inspired by a post from MyLifeIsAverage. Since, y'know, the Karasuma family needs more love. Any/all errors I managed to miss are now completely intentional as well.
Prompt: Today, I stood on the side of the road with a hair dryer pretending it was a radar gun. Everyone slowed down. I win. MLIA
our lives are normal (so very normal)
Kirio stared down at the half-completed sentence and realised, much to his horror, that he had absolutely no urge to continue. His right hand, still gripping the mechanical pencil, twitched slightly before he finally allowed it to drop to the desk (if it had been able to talk, he was sure it would have yelled abuse at such actions). With a groan, the teen pulled his glasses off and squeezed the bridge of his nose, eyes closed as he tried to pinpoint the reason why.
He no longer had to worry about Himeka's condition, Kujyou and Hanazono had received their 'happily ever after' (he had scoffed then – and still did now – even when Kirika elbowed him for being so rude) and nothing else mattered.
It was over; they had won and it seemed those who had been hurt had recovered nicely, so he had no reason to feel guilty over anything.
And somehow, that irritated him. Much more than it should; then again, he was Karasuma Kirio. Always finding something to gripe over, his sister had claimed with a shrug, during his fourteenth birthday, as a way of showing how much she cared. He was near certain she had also called him obsessed, amongst other wonderful observations, but they weren't all that important.
After another minute of pondering over how quickly his excuse for living had been torn down, Kirio pushed his glasses back on and stood up, pushing himself away from the desk. Kirika had taken Himeka out – said something about shopping for clothes and did you want to come, nii-san? (naturally, he had refused, especially after she smiled in a particularly unnerving manner) – which meant he was the only one in the house.
There were numerous things he could have done to try and get his mind back into gear to finish that damn essay: watch some television, read a book, maybe check if Himeka's stuffed animals were alright and none had met a fate worse than death…
Instead, Kirio unearthed the hair dryer from a stack of towels and eyed it critically. Turning it over, he stared straight down the nozzle before he nodded, agreeing with a certain part of his brain he chose to ignore most of the time. It only took another moment to grab a jacket and step out of the house; keys in one hand, hair dryer in the other.
With the barest hint of a frown, the teen walked down the street for a moment, before stopping by the side of the road. When he heard the thrum of a car engine, he raised hair dryer as it came into view.
It slowed down and he followed it as it continued down the road. Once it was out of sight, Kirio allowed himself a vague smirk at his achievement. This was better than he'd thought.
Which was how Kirika found her darling twin an hour later, while Himeka grasped her hand like a lifeline as she stared upwards at the sky: as cars drove by, they would, without a doubt, slow down upon sight of the object pointed in their direction, held by the usually far-too-stuffy teen.
Once close enough to see what he was holding, she could barely stifle amused laughter; "Kirio, what are you doing?"
With a splutter, he jerked around to face them, hiding the hair dryer behind his back despite the fact she had already seen it. After three minutes of Kirio rambling about how it was a social experiment on human behaviour, Kirika had finally managed to control her laughter and told him to shove the dryer into one of the bags. Like a proper gentleman, he also relieved her of said shopping items, face a deep shade of red.
Kirika would laugh about it for weeks afterwards; the only thing she regretted was not being able to get a snapshot of her brother in the act. No one was going to believe that Student President Karasuma had been pretending a hair dryer was a radar gun to alleviate his boredom, after all.