Prologue
Shepard awoke from his slumber, sharp yet somehow dim lights piercing his eyesight. He ignored the pain digging in his eye sockets in favor of looking at the roof of his bunk. He'd woken up over a thousand times in this bunk, same day, same goal, never resting. He sighed out as he felt the familiar weight sink on his shoulders, his curse acting as a seven-ton weight constricting his breathing. He felt the urge to give up and let this cycle run its course. He entertained the thought for a brief moment before images flooded his mind. The first one was Kaiden. The young man was turned to him, gentle smile on his face. It was from one of his first cycles. The image faded to Liara. The beauty was flustered throughout their various talks. He only found out after the thirtieth or so cycle the reason for that. It faded again, this time on his favorite Turian. It was their time at the Citadel shooting various bottles during shore leave. While he enjoyed the thoughts, he tried to banish them. He felt fear at what they might drundge up. Instead of obeying his commands, they flooded him with details… information that he wanted to forget. Each cycle someone died. He never knew who would until the moment. Ash or Kaiden on Virmire. Just about everyone on the Collector Base. Mordin, Wrex… and Tali during the Invasion…
He growled as he sat up, taking in the familiar visage of the Normandy SR-1's creamy blue walls. Every time he completed a cycle he ended up here. Every time he died… here. The only rest he ever got was after his death to the Collectors. The feeling of suffocation, his blood boiling under his skin due to the pressure difference. He shook the moment from his mind, eyes still showing how the event haunted him through each and every cycle. His hand traveled through his above military length hair. He smiled at the small victory. He was always lax with the regulations which earned him a good bit of fuss from the brass, be he didn't care. It wasn't like they could court-martial The Lion of Elysium. His smile faded to a frown as the memory of that day crumbled before it could form. After so many cycles, details became blurry especially when they weren't reinforced. After his fourth or fifth thousand cycle, he nearly forgot the events that built him to his first cycle.
He pushed himself up off of the short bunk, letting the familiar motion carry him into his bunkside chest. He bent over picking up the N7 Onyx Heavy Armor from it. Normally, a Sentinel would be incapable of even training with it, but due to his immaculate scores with Medium Armor in training which according to his superiors was on par with those with light armor, he was allowed to train with Heavy Armor. He slipped out his civvy Biotic Amp for the one he used in service. A familiar jolt accompanied the change in an amp, not even causing the common twitch that happened with most soldiers. He slipped on the plates of ceramic and metal, sealing the undersuit to vacuum. He forewent the helmet out of personal preference. He grabbed the Lancer I out of the box as well, looking at the gun with a scowl. They give him advanced armor, but the shittiest weapon possible…
Just another complaint to add to the numerous ones he had with his life.
He closed the chest, stretching out his weary limbs. If there was one thing Cerberus was good for, it was quality of life. Leather Seats, comfy beds, palatable foods, and not to mention his 'upgrades'. They didn't shy away from any and all improvements to his body. He chuckled as he realized that he was probably the only human to have not been screwed over in 'enlargement.' Not that he ever felt he needed it. He never got around to seeing why Lawson had made that change. She would probably put it down to 'better espionage'. He wasn't the type to look a gift horse in the mouth though…
He took a deep breath, his only solace before the storm that would be this cycle. If he remembered correctly this was the… 11,416th cycle? He frowned. That didn't sound quite right. He furrowed his brow until a small detail came to mind. Drinks with Tali in Afterlife Bar. That was last cycle and on the 11,416th. So this was actually the 11,417th…
Maybe once he hit 500 he'd take one off?
He figured he deserved a break.
He opened the door and excited to the elevator. As he was currently on the Crew Deck, he figured he's just get the cycle over with and just go in with a bang.
The door to the elevator opened to the deck below the CIC. He lamely walked up the stairs, passing by a few crew members as he did so. He entered the CIC, gently brushing past some of the of the other crew members with a deftness that surprised them. He stopped beside Nihlus, hearing the words that began every Cycle for him.
"Board is green. Approach run has begun." Joker said, ship lurching as to approach the Mass Relay
"Hitting the Relay in 3… 2… 1." Joker continued as a dull hum filled the cockpit, and most likely the whole ship
The ship lurched for a moment faint *Fe-Toom* noise. In all this time he could never give a name to really accurately describe the noise. He wondered if it was just a "physics thing" or some other reason. Shepard decided to make a mental note to look that up later.
"Thrusters… Check. Navigation… Check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift just under 1,500 K."
"1,500 is good… your captain will be pleased…" Nihlus commented before leaving for the meeting room that Shepard knew he would be called to in a moment
"...I hate that guy…" Joker sighed out
"Nihlus gave you a compliment… so you hate him?" Kaiden asked in confusion, turning to the pilot with squinting eyes as if trying to see through Joker's bullshit
Shepard smiled at that detail. He never stopped finding it funny even after so many times.
"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit when you get out of the bathroom… that's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit something the size of a pinhead. That's incredible!" Joker ranted before settling a bit, " 'Sides… Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid if you want…"
Kaiden leveled a deadpan look at Joker.
"You're paranoid." He stated, same look on his face, "The Council helped fund this project. They have the right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."
"Yeah, that's the official story, but only an idiot believes the official story." Joker countered with a knowing look before glancing at Shepard as if asking for input in the matter
"Joker's right. I'm willing to bet a hundred credits that this isn't just a 'Shakedown Run'."
"That so Commander? I may have to hold you to it…" Kaiden giving a coy smirk
"I'd have to double it then. Free money, am I right Joker?" Shepard responded, enjoying the slight deviation of dialogue
"Deal." Kaiden said
"Joker, status report?" Anderson's voice came through Joker's interface
"Just cleared the relay, stealth is engaged. It looks alright from here..."
"Good, link us with the network at a bouey. I want us to get those mission reports in before Eden Prime."
"Got it, Cap. Get ready too 'cause Nihlus is heading your way." Joker said with a hint of disdain
"He's already here." Anderson signed out, "Just call Shepard into the comm room before you embarrass yourself, further Lieutenant."
"Aye Aye." Joker cut the comm
"You heard him… You got a date with feathers over in the comm room." The pilot joked
"Don't worry, I don't think he'll stay long after Eden Prime." Shepard said, internally grimacing
He waved the two off, ignoring to talk to Jenkins on his way to the comm room. He honest found the conversation pointless. No matter what he said, the kid would die. It related to something odd he found throughout the cycles. Time never ran the same way twice. Sure, some events were constant, Virmire, Ilos, Fall of the SR-1 etcetera but the relative change was often tied to intelligence. The smarter crew would often act differently between cycles. It was nothing major mind you. It mostly came down to conversation choices. He had seen a few lifestyle changes that continued through the cycles between the crew. Garrus was a lot more lax to begin with after the six thousand mark, Miranda often skipped some trains of thought as if she had already told him before. It seemed from his observations that this came from a sense of Deja-Vu. The smart ones saw this and acted differently.
With that train of thought dying, he entered the comm room to see Nihlus.
"Ah, Commander. It's nice to see you." Nihlus said, earning a curt reply from Shepard
"Likewise." He kept professional
"Eden Prime… I'm interested in it. I've heard it's quite beautiful…"
"Been there a few times myself. It lives up to most of the hype. Though I guess you don't plan on going there for a vacation anytime soon." Shepard replied, one eyebrow raised
"Yes, that is true. I'm more interested in what it means for humanity. It's proof that Humanity can support colonies at the edge of the Traverse… and protect them. But how true is that?"
"Did something happen to Eden Prime?" Shepard asked, knowing the horrors to await his arrival at the colony
"We'll discuss that when the Captain arrives." Nihlus closed as Anderson entered
"Well… speak of the devil and he shall appear." Shepard stated
Memories of Earth flashed through his mind. The countless cycles of watching the man who helped raise him bleed out in front of him dug into his skull. The others in the room could feel the change in Shepard despite how brief it was. Anderson's brows knit in concern while Nihlus felt a cold sweat travel down his plates. It was odd considering Turians normally didn't sweat.
"I think it's time we told Shepard what's really going on here."
"This isn't just a Shakedown Run." Nihlus Explained
"I knew that. They don't send Spectres, especially ones that I can't move ten feet without 'bumping into', on Shakedown Runs." Shepard said, glancing to Nihlus
"We're on our way to Eden Prime to pick up a beacon."
"So…?" The commander asked
"It's of Prothean origin." Nihlus clarified quickly before continuing, "I'm also here to evaluate you. You've shown great promise and I look forward to seeing if you are a fit for the Spectres."
"You'll be surprised." Shepard said with confidence
"I look forward to it."
"Captain! Problem on Eden Prime!"
"What seems to be the issue Joker?" Anderson's eyes narrowing dangerously
"We got a distress signal. A file was attached to it. You should see this…" Joker sounded worried, something that Anderson had never heard from the man
"Patch it through."
They all turned to the vid-screen to hear gunfire. Things exploded seemingly randomly, often taking a man or two with it. Shepard watched with a blank face, having seen the video thousands of times and having memorized the details of each person's face in it would do that to a man like him. Then the camera jumped to the source of all his anguish. A Reaper. Sovereign to be specific in this case.
The Reapers were the reason he couldn't enjoy his life. Each cycle he sludged through ended with him dying to one. No matter how hard he tried, he could never stop the foe and live to see the outcome. His end was always met against himself or Harbinger. A few times at his lowest, he committed suicide. It never worked, and after another ten cycles, he gave on that.
"Joker, rewind, and pause at 38.5."
"What is that?" Nihlus muttered
"A sign that this isn't going to be a regular evaluation…" Shepard answered
"Nihlus, Shepard?" Anderson called for their attention, "This just got a whole lot more complicated."
*Normandy Cargo Bay*
Wind swept through Shepard's hair, somehow avoiding the legend's face. He wore no helmet despite the drop conditions. As such it seemed odd that he was resisting the urge to yawn as Anderson gave them the last minute debriefing. While he saw the man as a father figure, he couldn't bring himself not to grow bored with the dramatic speeches.
"Hey Nihlus, aren't you coming along with us?" The FNG asked
Shepard sighed at the kid's stupidity for a moment before a thought jumped at him.
"While the FNG is a dumbass for asking, he does raise a good point." Shepard supported the kid
"I work faster on my own."
"Aren't you supposed to 'evaluate' me? It would probably be hard to do that two clicks away…" Shepard continued, hinting at his intention
Nihlus sighed as Anderson spoke.
"Shepard, it is not the time to be talking to a Spectre like tha-"
"It's fine. He does have a good point. We're facing an unknown, and I'm supposed to be watching him. My instincts got in the way. Sorry about that Commander." Nihlus said genuinely, shocking Shepard
He'd never tried that before. It raised several questions that he would address later to the front of his mind.
"I wasn't expecting you to follow along with that being a Spectre and all…" Shepard openly said
"You'll find that I'm more open-minded than most in my position… after all, that's how we got into this situation…"
"Lead the way, esteemed Spectre." Shepard joked
Nihlus gave him the Turian equivalent of a smirk before heading to the edge of the open cargo bay. Nihlus' arms spread wide as he fell back in a reverse swan dive. Shepard looked back at his squad, motioning for them to follow him as he dove out the cargo bay as well. Instead of copying Nihlus, he started with his feet perpendicular to the ground two kilometers down before settling into a pose as if he were sitting in a relaxing chair with his arms crossed. His first genuine smile in over a thousand cycles broke out. It was amazing what a little change could produce… he had to make more.
"Living comfortable Commander?" Nihlus asked as the two equalized in air
"Of course…" Shepard replied, glancing at the altimeter
It was time to 'pull the 'chute' as his ancestors called it.
Getting the same idea as Shepard, Nihlus followed suit. Both of their masses grew to be one-tenth of normal. They both gently floated down with the aid of the Ezzo Cores in their armor. Upon touching down they looked up to see that the other two members of the group had activated their cores much sooner in line with protocol. It took several minutes for them to fall to the ground which Nihlus and Shepard used to secure the area.
"Commander, have you been to Eden Prime before?" Nihlus asked as Kaiden rolled in from the drop
"No, why?" The Commander answered in confusion
"Some details about the surroundings would be nice. It would save us some of the effort of pulling some recon of the area."
"If I remember from the files Jenkins was born here."
"Ah, we should speak with the Corporal…"
"Good idea." Shepard said begrudgingly
He wished he wouldn't have to listen to the Jenkins rave about Eden. Shepard swore the kid was a bit too enthusiastic for this kind of mission. How he made it to even corporal, he could never guess. Now that he thought about it, wasn't the kid a Marine? His ship was Navy. How in the flying hell did the kid even get assigned to the Normandy?!
Questions continued to pile until Kaiden's voice broke through.
"Commander, you got that?"
"Uh… sure."
That earned a chuckle from Nihlus.
"Questions for later." He mumbled to himself
"You said something?" Nihlus asked, hearing the mumbling from a few feet over
"Nothing, just something I'll have to check out myself later."
"If you say so. Shouldn't we get a move on though? That beacon isn't getting any safer while we're standing here."
"Right." Shepard took front whipping out his shotgun in one hand and pistol in the other
This earned an eyebrow from everyone but Jenkins who practically glowed with admiration.
They came to the clearing that Jenkins normally died in. Shepard decided to hold the group as normal, minus Nihlus' involvement. Shepard pressed Jenkins to move forward but made it clear to head for cover. He didn't want the kid dying again. On cue, the first set of drones came to fire at the kid only to be stopped by the rest of the group. One exploded in flight while the other was spared that fate by being sent in a spiral downwards. It tried to correct laterally but failed as it ran into Shepard's open palm. He gripped the machine, looking into its optics before mouthing something that the others didn't catch to it. Shepard ripped its thruster off letting it fall to the ground. He fired a shotgun blast straight into the machine sending its hardware to the scrap heap as the programs abroad carried his message to the Heretic Geth.
"Geeze Commander, I know they're robots but that was brutal."
"I was sending a message." Shepard clarified
"To who? It's not like it'll tell…" Nihlus said with a raised eyebrow ridge as he glanced at the machine
"It will. They're Geth."
"Geth? They haven't been beyond the Veil in over 250 years!"
"Do you know of any other group of robots that has sentience?" Shepard asked rhetorically
"Let's move. Questions can be saved until after we get the beacon." Nihlus said, getting them back on track
The group moved on, passing through a wooded area and taking out a few drones along the way. Shepard wondered why they never really saw Geth drones beyond that point. This cycle had brought him more questions and interesting things to think about than any of the previous thousand combined. He grinned at the fun he was going to have.
"Who are you, soldier? Nihlus asked the girl in white and pink armor
"Ashley Williams, Gunnery Sergeant of the 212. Not that I'm in a position to ask, but what's a Turian doing with Alliance Navy?"
"Classified." Shepard said with a grin, "But if you follow us along… you may hear some things that I can't stop."
His grin grew wider.
"Afterall, I can't fault you for figuring the goal of this Spec Ops team on the way to the Beacon… Oops… My bad."
Ash looked at him incredulously before matching him.
"Yes, Sir!" She gave a casual salute, whipping out a Banshee rifle
Why he still had a Lancer… he had no clue…
Saren's beady eyes creaked slightly as he was forwarded a transmission from a geth drone. Apparently, a Spec Ops team had landed not far out from the port. They were heading straight for the beacon. He growled, dual tone not even eliciting a flinch from the geth group. The last bit of the information centered in his skull as he realized the human said something, merely mouthing it in front of the drone's optics. He focused his omnitool on deciphering the human's words.
"Saren, beware Sovereign. He lies about the true nature of his kind." A robotic imitation of the commander's voice shattered his train of thought
Fear crept up the Turian's spine.
He wasn't alone in his knowledge of the reapers. This human knew. But how? Who of the two knows more of the reapers? Pain flashed through his head as he felt Sovereign try to claw out his doubt. He pretended that it worked, settling down and thanking the reaper in falsity. He would have to think about this subtly to avoid Sovereign's ire. He had neither the mental prowess nor the technology to resist its control as of yet.
He stood up and looked to the beacon, letting it flood his mind with images. They made little sense, but he knew his next destination. He needed to find a codex of sorts otherwise he would be unable to translate the message of the beacons.
"Good. Set the Nuclear Charges, the ones I got in the Terminus not long ago. Set them for fifteen minutes." his solid, handsome voice commanded
The Geth chirped in acknowledgment.
Saren felt the Turian equivalent of a smile grace his face.
"This is going to get really interesting."
Shepard exited the tram to see a bomb right in front of him. It was Nuclear from what he could see. It was a new development, to say the least.
"Shit." He sighs out, "Kaiden, looks like whoever did this decided to throw some nukes into the mix. Mind defusing those?"
"I've got enough radiation in me from the Ezzo. I don't think I'd like to add any more." Kaiden joked out
Jenkins grew even more nervous than he already was. Shepard pinched his nose as he walked up the slope, unleashing an overload on the first geth he saw. He pulled his pistol out and landed a single shot to its light, ending the platform. Gunfire pelted the area as he masterfully dodged the hoard of plasma trying to kill him. He glanced back to see Nihlus slack-jawed with his mandibles spread wide. He winked at the Spectre before slinging a singularity at a destroyer and its buddies. This most likely made him out as one of the best human biotics in the N7.
"I got better."
"Do you have no sense of self-preservation?!" Nihlus scolded him
"Nope. I'd rather get shit done hugging death's scythe than look like Jenkins over here." He thumbed over to Jenkins
The kid was going through shellshock, understandable to say the least. This was his home and his first combat op. It still didn't change the fact the kid was huddled in a corner shaking though.
"So, you gonna help me stop some Geth with Nukes?" Shepard asked, offering a hand
The Spectre took.
Shepard walked over to the next bomb, defusing it incredibly quickly. Nihlus' brow plates furrowed. The movements seemed almost robotic, resembling the best of Engineers. He gathered the curiosity to ask:
"So, you seem overqualified for your class. You could be an Adept or an Engineer quite easily. Now that I think about it, you'd be well within the ranges to qualify as just about any class. Why Sentinel?"
"I wasn't always this good. It's built from years of practice." Shepard said simply on the way to the last bomb, Kaiden catching up to the group after finishing up his bomb
"You left Jenkins?" Shepard asked before continuing, "Good. He'd get in the way as it stands. It's best to leave him where it's safe."
Kaiden looked at him in surprise before motioning in a way that told shepard that he had questions, but they weren't significant enough to bother asking.
They entered the final area of the port, seeing the beacon in all its glory.
It glowed as per usual.
"The beacon wasn't doing that when we dug it up." Ashley chimed in
Holy Shi-
Where the hell did she come from?
Did he seriously forget about her?
He sighed out to cover the fact that he was startled.
"Great. More complications. The council is gonna have my ass over the beacon."
"Let's just get this over with." Nihlus cut in, obviously tired of the combat
Shepard agreed.
Shepard was slightly disappointed though. Once they entered, the enemies that would normally flood the area weren't to be seen. Saren apparently got his message. Interesting.
He touched his earpiece, calling for the Normandy to pick up the beacon.
The response was easy and clear. ETA: 3 minutes.
He watched as Ashley approached the beacon, he approached as well. He knew he'd have to receive the beacon's message. Ashley was snatched up, but before he made it he got a flash of gray and black.
Nihlus took her place.
Shepard's eyes widened in shock before a grin spread across his face.
This would Definitely be an interesting cycle.
Spectre Candidacy Report:
Supervising Spectre: Nihlus Kryik
Spectre ID: 1180-DX74-5727-Q1445
Overall Review: Approved
Re: John Shepard Spectre Candidacy
In this first report, I would like to address a few concerns towards Commander Shepard. The first of the Council's concerns, that being the exaggeration of Shepard's combat capabilities by the Alliance is unfounded. Though his mental state seems to be more detached than anything else. This could be a sign of a mental condition among humans. His decision-making skills though seem to be unhindered. While I do have my concerns over his frankly absurd battlefield awareness as to its absence from his files, I still feel he is a worthy candidate and possibly capable of achieving the feats that Saren was capable of. As such, I currently approve but I feel that more review is needed.
Shepard raised his eyebrow as he saw the Spectre typing on his omnitool. It was quite a clunky and frustrating method of typing as the soon to be Spectre well understood. Often times on Alliance vessels, it would be difficult to find space for a full computer terminal. As such, to save space, they often had their marines do reports on their mobile device.
It was frustrating but it held some logic.
What made him more curious was the fact that Nihlus was doing this while in the Normandy infirmary. It was usually expected that soldiers don't give reports while hopped up on drugs.
"You do know that giving a report on meds might invalidate your report?" Shepard spoke crossing his arms, his left brow raising in intrigue
"As much as I wish I was on them… I'm not for that very reason."
Shepard gave an appraising hmm, knowing the pain that the beacon gave upon each time it was written to his brain. It was similar to a cluster migraine but it came with a weariness and fatigue uncommon with the condition. There was also a flow that seemed to occupy the brain that never really went away. Though that could potentially be attributed to his unique circumstance.
"That's rough man. I'm glad I didn't have to go through that… though… It was a Prothean beacon. Did you see anything?"
Nihlus turned to Shepard in a gesture of genuine surprise.
"Despite my odd beta-waves… no one has actually asked me that."
"Well, I am. And from your reaction, I take it that beacon drilled something in there?"
The Spectre's mind grew blank for a moment before as he shut his omnitool off, orange glow fading from the room as the limited lighting designed to ease Nihlus' headache failed to properly light the room and left the two in a low, but visible light. The deep red HVAC lights cast long shadows across the pair's faces.
"Shepard?" Nihlus' eyes were beady as he asked his question, "Would you believe me if I thought there was more to this than the Geth?"
Shepard merely showed mild surprise, another thing contrary to Nihlus' record for the hotheaded commander. The man showed a patience unbecoming of his reports.
"I'd say you might be onto something."
Nihlus glanced away from the commander before making a quick flick of his mandibles. It was a sign of relief he'd picked up on around the 100th cycle. It wasn't common for non-Turians to pick up on with the exception of Asari due to their lifespan. He'd seen a few Krogan in his time, but it wasn't especially common amongst them either.
"I'm glad to see you're relieved. I've had a nasty taste in my mouth over that mission for a while."
It was a lie of course. Any real attachment to each cycle was minimal at best.
"You believe me? Maybe I should put you down as a conspiracy theorist. That'll shoot your chances of being a Spectre right up." Nihlus joked, his dual-tone wavering with each of his chuckles
A smile worked its way on Shepard's face as he responded.
"You'd have to admit yourself as one too."
"Well damn… guess we're both stuck in this hole. You've been here longer… anyways out?"
"Sorry, no return on the crazy."
"Damn... " The Spectre chuckled out, mandibles twitching out in a steady manner
It was the Turian equivalent of smiling.
Shepard returned it, savoring the difference in events that shook up the monotony of the cycles. The smile turned into a chuckle until both of them were having a surprisingly good time. It was interrupted by a decently rough coughing fit from Nihlus. Shepard waited until it was over to speak up.
"Need some water?"
"Yeah… I think some water could help."
"You saw the commander and Nihlus laughing. Stick in his ass Nihlus? You sure you aren't remembering some Fornax gay strip?" Joker asked louder than necessary
"Do you have to make it such a big deal that I'm Bi? It's the 22nd century. We've got literal blue women and you're making a big deal of that?"
"No… I just can't believe that stick can be removed. It would explain if the guy's gay though."
"Joker!"
"Somebody's got to ask the good questions, Kaiden."
"Maybe not when we're on duty then?" Kaiden pointed out
"When am I not on duty?" Joker asked, gesturing to his less than stellar physical condition
"Get a wheelchair then… or get some gene therapy." Kaiden returned
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but gene therapy wouldn't help Joker here." Shepard's voice appeared behind them
"Shit commander… when'd you get so freaking quiet?!" Joker said holding his hand over his heart, looking back at said man
"What can I say… I get quiet when a few of my crew ask some… personal questions. I like to see what they guess." Shepard's face lit up in a devious smile at the two's nervousness
"We weren't m-"
"It's no big deal. It's natural you'd have questions about a relatively new XO. So… ask away?"
"Are you gay?" Joker blurted out quickly and with a shit-eating grin on his face
"Joker!"
"Nope. I'm not the type to pitch or catch in that field…" Shepard said bluntly, surprising the two
Shepard was breaking rank here by losing a good portion of his professionalism here, and they saw the risk he was taking. They nodded, glancing to each other.
"It's nice to see you aren't a hardass like most of the higher-ups."
Shepard snorted, "Ain't that the truth?"
"I don't mind a 'to the point' XO but some can let that get to their heads…" Kaiden finally chipped in
"Yeah." Shepard paused for a moment, "Now for what I originally came up here for… How long is it until we hit the Citadel?"
"We arrived around 45 minutes ago. I mean… that's why I don't have the blast shield down…" Joker commented, gesturing to the window that was usually blocked in space flight for protective purposes
"Well hot damn… I'm just missing things left and right today." Shepard said with a smile
He lifted his arm, sending a brief message to Nihlus letting him know that they had already docked. He thought for a moment before realizing that he'd be following Nihlus this time around… at least for now.
"Interesting." His words leaked out, surprising him
"You say something Commander?" Kaiden asked
"It's nothing." He replied, realizing his slip up
It wouldn't do well to blow his knowledge after discovering such an interesting route. It was by far the most unique one he had in a long while. Having to get by without the benefits of having Spectre Status might be interesting. He'd already done a variety of cycles with limitations before ranging from avoiding using unsuited squadmates, no guns for him, to not using the letter H in conversations… that had been a strange one. He hadn't gone without being a Spectre though…
Truly interesting.
"Kaiden, message Ashley and have her join us in the airlock. I'm pretty sure Nihlus is going to want to talk to the Council, and we should join him."
"Aye Aye, Commander."
Shepard cracked his knuckles under his hard-suit before massaging the back of his neck where his biotic implant resided. It was an L3, moderately weaker than the L2 model but safer than it too by leaps and bounds. It didn't much affect the difference between his and Kaiden's biotic abilities though due to the efficiency of Biotics was determined a large part by experience, something Shepard had in spades.
Eleven thousand cycles do that to you.
As it stood, his biotic strength was well into the range of Justicar Matriarchs… with his L3. Kaiden could peak at a Matriarch's level for a few seconds before burning out. It was amazing for a human… especially one that was only thirty-five. It took him well over a hundred cycles to match Kaiden in raw biotic potential. Truly the guy was a prodigy.
His mind drifted to Ashley, not gifted in any sense but possessing determination that far stripped his own even now. The woman had skills not born of talent, but of years of dedication and practice. It was certainly something that spiced up his cycles.
He'd been unable to get her to believe him on Horizon yet though. Each cycle her words still stung as much as they did the first time. It made him wonder if with this change that the cycle would allow him to change that aspect as well.
"Commander? Are you alright?" Ashley spoke up, drawing him from his thoughts
"I'm fine. Just remembering some things."
"Ah. Family?"
"You could say that…" He sighed out, "I'd just like to get all of this over with though."
"I guess this whole deal with Geth is too much for the Alliance Posterboy?"
Shepard snorted at the idea.
"As if. I've got a few more miles in this tank."
"We'll see, old man."
"I'm only a year older than you." Shepard pointed out
"And yet with that look on your face, you look like an Asari Matriarch remembering her Maiden days…" Ash countered
"Well… I've got a lot to think about."
"Care to share with the class?"
"No. It wouldn't do anything to tell you."
Ash seemed to give him a look that told him that she didn't believe him.
"What? Think I'm a risk telling? You gonna shoot me if I learn the 'truth'?" She seemed to snap at him, causing him to internally flinch
Memories of the Citadel during the Reaper War flashed through his mind. He felt a deathly chill as the feeling of the Trigger of his pistol and the exhaustion of the battle returned to him. He could still see Ash in her armor, defending the Councilors. He remembered the first times he failed and was forced to shoot her. His gut wrenched at he felt her slippery blood across his gauntlet as he tried to stop her from bleeding out.
It always failed in the end.
He was snapped out of his thoughts by a hand on his pauldron. He snapped up to see it was Ashley. Her face was lined with confusion and concern.
"You okay Commander?"
The door slid open behind them, revealing Nihlus with drooped posture and mandibles alike. He looked tired.
'Did I look that tired when I recovered?' Shepard asked himself
Nihlus looked up tiredly before making a quip.
"You know… for sleeping eighteen hours straight… I feel like I haven't slept in 48."
"Welcome to the club. We have cookies." Kaiden replied, earning a chuckle from the Spectre
"L2?" Nihlus confirmed
"On the money." Kaiden replied
"Well, we best be off…" Nihlus activated the decontamination, automatically closing the door behind the squad
"Sorry Chief… this ain't it." Shepard said as the lights dimmed and the Normandy's VI system droned its specific line repeatedly
Everybody visibly cringed as the eighteenth 'Decontamination in Progress' line buzzed through the VI's speakers. It continued for a solid ten minutes before the blessed line was spoken that filled the group with mounds of relief.
"Decontamination Complete."
Nihlus looked to Shepard, fearing the answer to the question he would voice.
"Does that take that long every time?" Nihlus asked
"About that…" Shepard shrugged off
"I don't care. I'm getting that thing replaced with something faster. I will use my Spectre status if I have to… I would rather catch Lepraeus than go through that again."
"Lepraeus?" Shepard asked as they headed to the elevator
"It's a rather painful plate disease. We get boils under our plates that can burst. It's considered incurable despite its effective treatments to limit its spread and symptoms." Kaiden spoke up, earning a surprised stare from the group
"What? I wanted to be a medic before they measured my biotic strength."
"What was your ranking?"
"I got a score of 1937 on the B.A.P.S.a.A.T. straight out of Jump Zero in '68."
Nihlus winced at that.
"I heard about Commander Vyrnnus. He was an abusive bastard and he got what he deserved. His treatment of children was comparable to that of Special Forces Cabals. I wish I could apologize enough for the way he treated your classmates."
"It's fine. I did the right thing in ending him."
"Wait… you're the one who put him down?" Nihlus asked, earning a reluctant nod from Kaiden
"I'll have to buy you a drink for doing the Turian race a favor."
The elevator doors shut.
And so began their elevator ride.
A/N:
Well, that closes the Prologue.
This is in general, what I've always wanted to in a Mass Effect fanfic. I've had ideas for a plethora of Fanfictions, but none of them allowed for the depth I want in a fic like this. As such, after scrolling through the site I came up with a twist on the concept of The Lives and Deaths of Commander Shepard by MosaicCreme. It's a nice read I'd imagine, but I just couldn't keep reading :\ What you just read is the idea from it put into a different form. I will be branching from that idea more and more as time goes on, and this will grow about as AU as I can make it without introducing crossover elements. I want this to be purely "Mass Effect" and I love this series for what it does.
Now I'll address a few potential concerns in a QA format. If you guys have any questions, just review or PM me with them and I will include them here:
Q.) Shepard seems a bit OoC. Is that going to stay that way?
A.) Shepard at his core is still Shepard. He cares for the Normandy and the Galaxy as a whole but as time has gone on, his empathy has been stretched to its limits. He will struggle with retaining his genuine empathy with events that remain similar to cannon. He will get attached to this cycle.
Q.) You mentioned smart people might remember some things from previous cycles. How's that going to work?
A.) Similar to the anime: Steins;Gate (Great show, I recommend it), Emotions and base feelings aren't necessarily kept from following in other characters as a time traveler is sent back. This is comparable to how Shepard's biotic ability improved over time despite his brain being unchanged from the first cycle. Smarter characters might recognize these feelings and get senses of Deja-Vu and such, but you'll have to wait and see for anything more than that.
Q.) This story has _ issue with _. Are you going to fix that?
A.) Well, I'm definitely open to suggestions. I also would like a Beta, but I'm cool working without one. My main issue is that I run dry on ideas and I'm not a very creative person at creating something from scratch. That's why this is based on another idea. I'm good at making improvements to other ideas, but not making my own.
Q.) Where'd the name for the Fic come from?
A.) I wrote ~1/4th of the chapter and thought what it would be like looking at something with thousands of years of experience with the exact same thing… and I felt like I'd be looking at people from a distance. Even then I wouldn't really see them. I'd see a reflection of what I once knew of them. Hence the name. (A mirror is technically a looking glass. Blame my 11th grade English teacher for that nugget of knowledge)
Q.) How often will you post?
A.) That's a difficult one… I want to keep these chapters over 5k at minimum because of the pacing of each chapter but again… it depends on my abilities and how my creative juices get flowing. I'd say that the minimum would be 2 weeks and the max would be 3 months between posts.
Now to address things for the fans of my other fics… (I'd imagine there's at least one of you… Maybe?)
Interchange Effect (Redone): On hiatus for rebuild. I want to get better to do justice to that one…
Lament of the Midian Gods: I'm working on the next Arc, and I don't want to finalize anything by posting it if I need to go back and change something
Leagues Above: I'm currently working on the First Floor dungeon chapter and that's planned to be a bit over 12k (Insert over 9000 joke here) words and so it's taking me a bit I'm at 7k right now.
Also, Quick codex entry:
B.A.P.S.a.A.T.(Biotic. Aptitude. Precision. Strength and Ability. Test.)- This test is used to test the overall capabilities of a Biotic. The scores of this range from 300 (Basically someone who can't use biotics) to 3100 (The level of a Matriarch) The average score for each class is as follows:
Vanguard: 1200
Sentinel: 1500
Adept: 1850
Civilian with Biotics: 600