AN - Hi^^ This is my very first story ever… It takes place right after the epic battle of Hogwarts and I'm not really sure how far it will go. Maybe I'll just leave it as a one-shot if I don't get such a good response… or I don't know..?

Just try it and send me your thoughts on it

Disclaimer – I only own Harry Potter in my dreams and my world of wishes…

Chapter 1

Harry was dreaming. His shallow breaths came in laboured gasps and his head turned from side to side with his eyes tightly closed in agitation.

He heard their voices taunting him, sending pangs of pain to his heart.

"You killed us Harry. "

"…If only you had acted faster we would all be alive"

"Our son Harry... Now he has no one."

"No… no Im sorry"

"We thought you would never let this happen…"

"No no I didn't mean to…"

"You killed us Harry. "

"If only you had acted faster... been less cowardly"

"If only, Harry… It was you… You killed us all…"

"Please! No!"

Harry's eyes flew open in panic. For a moment his vision blurred and he was unable to take in his surroundings. He sat up as his hands groped for his wand while he looked around madly. They found his glasses instead and he hurriedly put them on. Only then did he realise that he was alone in the Gryffindor dorm. He gave out a sigh of relief, trying to slow down his painful breathing.

The memories of what had happened flooded back all at once, hitting him from all directions. Harry helplessly closed his eyes in effort of blocking the images that came in his mind.

Voldemort dead, Snape releasing his memories to him, Hogwarts broken and battered, Ravenclaw's diadem in the burning Room of Requirement, Remus and Tonks lying beside each other with unseeing eyes, Hermione desperately holding Ron who was leaning and howling over…. –

"Harry?"

Harry opened his eyes to see Hermione coming towards him. She looked concerned and exhausted.

"Harry I just came to check if Ron was… Harry you look awful have you slept at all?"

Harry only looked at her and started to become aware of how his muscles ached all over his body. He had a pulsing headache and his chest felt as though he had a gaping wound and it hurt him to breathe.

Hermione saw such pain in his eyes. He was shaking and his hands were clenching at his sheets. He was breathing in too shallow and rapidly as if trying to recover from hours of sprinting but only able to use half his lungs. She walked towards his bed and sat beside him, worried. She had been trying to find Ron.

It had only been a few hours back when they were walking out of Dumbledore's office. Ron mentioned about going to his family and made his way to the Great Hall. Hermione and Harry followed until when they reached the staircase leading them down. Hermione turned and saw Harry lagging behind. He had looked dead on his feet.

She then had him escorted instead back to Gryffindor tower, telling him she would explain to Ron and promising to wake him up later.

It had only been a few hours… and yet he was already awake... or still unable to fall asleep.

"I'm ok, Hermione," Harry said with the best smile he could manage, "You really don't have to look at me like that."

He gave a small chuckle in effort to prove his point then coughed suddenly, wincing.

"Harry, you're not alright and it's no use trying to convince me otherwise. You should go back to sleep. You need rest after all you've done," said Hermione rubbing his back trying to ease his cough while Harry gasped trying to get his breath back.

Harry looked down, eyes watering in pain and the sudden lack of oxygen. "After all he's done?" He did nothing but getting people killed because he couldn't act fast enough to give himself up before! The thought of going back to sleep made him shiver with fear of hearing more voices haunting him.

"So where's Ron?" he asked instead.

"I wanted to just check if he was here. He's not with his family. George is missing too"

Harry's stomach gave a lurch. He felt like he was going be sick with guilt and he rapidly gulped against it.

"I'll help you find him"

"Harry I think you should rest. Just try get some sleep and I'll come back for you after so we can take you up to Madame Pomphrey to get a check done. You need to-"

"No, Hermione. All I need is to get out of here." He said sharply.

"Harry but-"

"Please Hermione," Harry said desperately.

Hermione reluctantly sighed and helped him up. Harry gulped a few times to ease the urge to be sick again and ignored the screaming pain in his head and chest while getting out of his bed he had hardly slept in. He swayed from the pain while black spots appeared before his eyes.

Hermione moved to quickly support him sighing in regret for letting him get his way.

For a moment he considered sitting back down and listening to Hermione's advice. But the image of Fred and his family appeared in his head and took over his mind.

"I wanted to just check if he was here. He's not with his family. George is missing too"

He thought of Ron and George… and Ginny… With effort, he carefully arranged his face so that it stopped betraying his will to cover up the pain.

Out of all people he couldn't.. Shouldn't be the one expressing his pains.. He didn't deserve to show pain right now while others had so much more lost because of him. His physical pain would be nothing compared to the real pain that actually mattered most of people like the Weasley family.

But… he also felt their pain… to Harry… he had also lost a brother tonight and so many more. Would it be so wrong for him to be able to grieve together with them?

With disgust he regretfully pushed this thought and the pain aside in his head as best as he could. He had to remain strong for them. He had to remain strong so that they could relieve their grief and pain on him. He needed to be strong to be able to not crumble if they ever turned to their needs to openly blame him for what had happened.

After all… It was all that that he could do after what he had done.. All that was left for him to do… to help them heal over their pains that he had caused.

With a shaky, painful breath, he broke free from Hermione's arms and walked to the door to help her find Ron and George.