Portal 2 + Vocaloid
Kaito: Good morning. You have been in suspension for 50 days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Vocaloid extended relaxation center must be revived periodically for mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer. Look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]Kaito: Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer look down at the floor. [BUZZER] Kaito: Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise. There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it. This is art. You will hear a buzzer when you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]Kaito: You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this Vocaloid music [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER] Kaito: Good. Now please return to your bed. Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT] Len: Hello? Anyone in there? Helloooo? Are you going to open the door? At any time? HA! I knew someone was alive in here. AH. Oh. My. God. You look terribl- - ummm… good. Looking good actually. Are you okay? Are you – Don't answer that. Im absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time to recover. Just take it slow. Kaito: Please prepare for emergency evacuation. Len: Stay calm! 'Prepare' – that's all they're saying. 'Prepare' its all fine. Alright? Don't move. Im gonna get us out of here. Oh you MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you. You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello? Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you been under for… quite a lot longer, and its not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is a proper reaction to being told you have brain damage. Do you understand what im saying? At all? Does any of this make any sense? Just tell me. 'yes' Ayaka: [JUMP] Len: Okay. What your doing there is jumping. You just… you just jumped. But never mind. Say apple aaaapple. Ayaka: [JUMP] Len: Okay, you know what that's close enough. Just hold tight Kaito: All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown. Len: Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here. How you doing down there? You still holding on? The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the test subjects. Hold on! This is a bit tricky! And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything? Why should I be kept informed about life functions of the ten thousand test subjects im supposed to be in charge of? Its close… can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space? Agh, just… I just gotta get it through here… okay, I've just gotta concentrate! And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables? Aghh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one…okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks – and no ones gonna ask. Don't worry – but if anyone asks tell them as far as you know. The last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead. Okay almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready… good news that's NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. Im going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on! Almost there! Remember you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but – well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time! Whew. There we go! Now ill be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cogitative gauntlet. But…um…at least you're a good jumper. So…you've got that. You've got jumping on your side just do your best, and ill meet you up again