I'm Gonna Love You
He didn't look human anymore. Not since the tragedy that had befallen onto them. It was not something that they can control but it still left a huge scar that was still bleeding. It had been a while. He did not come home smiling anymore, if he ever came home. When he did come home, he always reeked of firewhiskey, and sometimes of something stronger. He stopped smothering her with kisses the moment he arrived home after work. He stopped tickling her when they woke up from a deep sleep. He stopped staring at her, stopped watching her smile in her sleep. He stopped living.
While she watched him living his life like a zombie. She did not know whether he had his lunch and dinner, and she was pretty sure he did not have his breakfast. He was void. He did not smile anymore. She was pretty sure he lost a little weight but she did not know for sure because he did not share things anymore. They did not share anything except their home anymore. She tried to get him to talk, even a few words, but it was vain. He didn't even budge. Somehow, it felt like it was her fault that made him like this. She remembered how it all happened.
"I'm pregnant." She said with a smile, and tears streaming down her face, the tears of happiness. He hugged her tight like he always did. He was as happy as a child. He treated her like a queen. Well, the queen of the queens. Oh, well. She was one lucky lady. Until that day came. She fell down a flight of stairs, and as expected, the baby could not be saved. At first, despite being devastated for their loss, he was so loving and cared for her during her healing phase like a husband should. But then, the grief took him over and ripped them off of their happiness.
He did not scream at her. He just, drifted away. Slowly, but surely, he started to stop touching her, caressing her. Then he stopped waiting for her at the table before they started to eat. And then suddenly, they stopped talking. It's killing her. She would rather get scolded and shouted at than get a silent treatment. She tried getting him to talk to her about this but he just would not.
She finally lost her patience and waited in her living room. A place they usually sat together, cuddling while reading a book and sipping hot chocolates. A tear escaped her eyes and she quickly brushed it off. She waited and waited but he did not come home. So she sat there, thinking of what had happened and what could have happened. And more tears were shed that night.
He sat in a bar after being the last one to leave the office. He thought the bartender must have known him by now, but she still did not know his story. The story of why he ended up here at the bar almost every night, alone. He could have bought a house with all the money he spent at the bar but he would rather spend it here, at the bar. It was late, and he fetched his jacket before heading home. He opened the door soundlessly and upon seeing his wife curled up on a sofa, their favorite sofa, he felt something tugging at his heart. He walked slowly towards her and stared at her face. Something he had not done for so long.
It was wet with tears, as if she was crying until she fell asleep. Or worse, she was crying in her sleep. He forgot how beautiful she looked when she was asleep. He forgot how her laugh sounds like. He forgot how her scrambled egg tasted like. He forgot how her skin felt like. He forgot everything. He forgot. He just forgot. He sat down on the other sofa, and shed some tears himself. He composed himself, carefully scooped her up and brought her to their bed and put her on her favorite side of it.
He pulled the duvet and tucked her in. He turned around to get to their closet before stopping, and hesitantly turned back to her and kissed her forehead like he used to when she fell asleep before him. And somehow, he felt something rushing through his veins, and he was warm again. It was like life was shoved into his body again. He went to change and slid under the duvet, beside his wife and spooned her. Something he had not done in a long time. And he hugged her like he was going to lose her.
She felt the extra pressure that she had not felt in a long time. And the faint scent of her husband greeted her nose despite the overwhelming smell of the alcohol. She turned around to face him and buried her face in his chest and cried in silence. He let her cry and rubbed her back to calm her down. He did not say a thing and hoped that she did not too so they can talk about it tomorrow.
He woke up first and stared at her. She looked beautiful with her rosy cheeks and a soft smile. He wondered what she was dreaming of. When her eyes fluttered open, he could not help but smiled a little. He had not smile in a long time. Not because of the moment like this. She sat up and rubbed her eyes to chase away the remaining sleepiness. And he thought that she looked cute. He pulled her for a hug, a hug that told her that he would never repeat the same mistake again. A hug that told her that no matter what happened, he would never shut her out again. And there was hope after all.
"I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you." he whispered, and she cried her tears of happiness.
A/N: Hey guys! I've been gone for sooo long, I know. I'm back with a new story but, I don't know what I was doing. I don't know what this is about. I just wrote it and there it is. Done. Anyway, thank you for all the reviews in my previous stories, some of you asked me to continue, but I'm sorry honey. They were meant to be a one-shot story. Even if I wanted to continue, it will feel like something's wrong. They are better being a one-shot compared to chaptered story. So, I feel like writing a lot more stories but I don't really have any ideas, and if I have, it sucks. To anyone who likes my writing style, feel free to PM me and tell me if you have something on your mind that I can convert into a story. I'll definitely credit you on the ideas. Oh, if you happen to find any, what do you call that, the short excerpts from tumblr and something like that, head cannon? Something, something that can be converted into a fanfic, and you would like to read a fanfic about it, feel free to PM me. Also, you can email me at . Sorry for ranting. I hope you enjoy this one even if it doesn't make any sense. Much love xx