A/N: I love Gintama and I like the pairing Gintoki x Hijikata a lot.

Rating: T (for now)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama nor it's characters.

What a pain Gintoki thought while walking to the bath house. It was still early in the morning, the sun was slowly rising but it already felt nice outside. The streets are empty, a rare sight for the usually busy and lively center of Edo. I guess it can't be helped, it's awfully early in the morning. It's not like poor Gin-san wants to wake up at this time but I don't have a choice, do I? I'm getting irritated and kick some pebbles away, trying to get rid of my anger by bullying the innocent rocks.

Thanks to Kagura our bathroom was completely destroyed yesterday, we were lucky the rest of the rooms weren't destroyed too, but still. Why the bathroom of all rooms?

"Damn that brat, why did she had to play a game of tag in my home? And with Sadaharu on top of that! What does she think Gin-san's place is? A spa where she can hang out and do whatever she wants? Tch, my place is not a damn hotel!"

While talking to myself I feel the need to take a relaxing bath alone growing every second. Thanks to said china brat I'm even unable to bath anymore, thus I have to go to the public bath house.

Damn, all good and well but poor Gin-san needs rest from time to time. Cut me some slack already. I don't dislike those brats, it's just that they suck up most of my energy every single day. Especially the china brat, she's way too energetic for her and my own good. Luckily Shinpachi is a lot calmer but then again, he keeps nagging about everything.

Lost in thoughts I suddenly notice I'm standing before my favorite restaurant. Tired from all the thinking and the early walk I feel like having a parfait. Something sweet will surely help to lighten my mood. I enter the little restaurant and order a nice and sweet strawberry parfait. Taking my time to pick out a seat I choose a place near the window and I let out a exhausted sigh.

This sure is a nice place. I've been coming here for a few years now but I can't help thinking it every time. The boss is a good guy who seems to like me, so sometimes he asks me to take care of the place when he has an errand. He's a good guy. He also knows he shouldn't bother me with small talk if I don't start a conversation on my own, which I'm very grateful for right now. This place always manages to relax me and that's exactly what I'm looking for, a calm place without a giant dog or brats.

Deciding not to think about stressful things anymore I start eating my arrived parfait. It's like the sugar flows through me as soon as I take the first bite, lightening my mood instantly. Licking off the leftovers from my spoon I sigh out contently, I always feel so much better after eating something sweet. Just when I start looking out the window again I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Well, isn't that the Yorozuya danna?" I turn my head and see that little sadistic Shinsengumi brat, Okita, standing behind me, looking rather sleepy and bored.

"Yo, what are you doing in town so early in the morning? It's not like the Shinsengumi to be productive or anyting," I respond while offering him a seat.

"I think you know why danna. That bastard Hijikata decided to go on morning patrol and forced me to go with him, saying I'm never doing anything so this would be good for a change. Stupid Mayora, my heart was so hurt when he said that" Okita replies in a fake hurt tone before he smirks; "But if I'm lucky I'll be able to kill him and blame the lousy terrorist he's looking for, so all this might be not that bad after all." Okita smiles sickening sweet and pleased as he takes place in the chair next to me.

"You're damn scary, you know" I reply with a light chuckle, I never know how serious he is when he talks about killing Mayora but he sounds very convincing. I wouldn't get a blink of sleep if a sadistic brat like him would try to kill me. Though it would be bad if he really killed him.

Wait. What?... Why would it be bad if the sadist killed the Mayora? It's not like we're buddies or anything. Though we seem to spend a lot time together, somehow I always end up meeting him when something bad is about to happen... but that's entirely his fault!

Deciding it's not any of my business I let out a soft sigh and try to decide if I should get another parfait or not. I want another one but they aren't cheap... why do I have to be so poor? At times like this I wish I was a tax robber like the sadist or even Mayora, at least then I would be able to buy parfaits to my hearts content. Though I would probably be fired or have to commit seppuku within a few days...

While I'm getting lost in thought about how nice it would be to eat as many parfaits as possible, Okita scratches his throat before trying to get the conversation going again.

Oops. I've forgotten he was here too, must be because he suddenly stopped talking. It's not like him to be this quiet though. Ah. Maybe it's because it's still early.

"So, yeah, that's why I'm here. But I'm surprised danna, why are you up so early?" I notice a hint of curiosity in his voice even though he tries to sound like he doesn't, nah, that can't be. I must be imagining things, probably because it's too early for Gin-san to be functioning.

I tell him the sad story about my (former) bathroom and how poor Gin-san is forced to go to the bath house this early because there's no way those 2 brats would let me go if they knew I was going. Looking very sad I sigh again, hating Kagura for trashing the bathroom. Couldn't she play tag outside like normal brats would do? Not that she's really normal but still, have mercy on poor Gin-san!

Okita nods while listening but doesn't reply which is rare for the usually sharp mouthed brat. He seems to get lost in thought so I decide not to interrupt him though.

There aren't any other customers in the restaurant so it gets really silent all of sudden. It's quiet but not really in a bad way I guess.

Feeling very tired I rest my chin on my hand, close my eyes and almost fall asleep when I hear Okita standing up. I lazilyy open my eyes, wondering if he's leaving.

"Oh, did I wake you? I'm gonna buy a cup of coffee, I need to stay awake for my patrol after all". I nod and wait for him to walk away but he doesn't. After a small pause he hesitantly adds "Do you want something, like another parfait, danna?" I look suspiciously at him, the sadistic brat is trying to be nice? Is this a bad joke?... He looks serious though. Strange...

"It's on me, so don't worry about the bill". He even smiles a little now. I look at him, this time skeptical. This offer is too good to be true, he's probably planning something. Does he want to kill me? Drug and kidnap me? Okita notices my suspicion and adds; "Don't worry, I promise won't poison it. I need it to kill a certain Mayo head after all/"

Well... if he's offering a free parfait how can I decline? I slowly nod, asking him to bring me another strawberry parfait. I see him walking away, ordering and chatting a little with the boss before he walks back with the order.

Standing next to me he places the parfait on the table first, the coffee and the tray. He sits down, next to me again and shoves the parfait closer toward me after I show no sign of taking it yet. I look at the parfait, still not sure if I should eat it. I mean it is Okita for gods sake. Gin-san is too young to die. But... on the other hand... it's a delicious sweet, sugar containing parfait...

Okita sees me doubting and says in an slightly hurt tone; "Come on, danna. I haven't done anything strange with it, you kept an eye on me all the time, right? Besides I told you I wouldn't poison it. And I wouldn't break a promise. Plus, for your information, I would only ever really poison Hijikata-san" he says, smirking again.

"You sure are creepy when you're smiling while talking about poisoning Mayora," I answer while still looking at the parfait, though a little less worried.

Deciding to trust him (and being unable to resist the much needed sugar any longer) I grab my spoon and start eating it, slowly enjoying this rare free treat. How long has it been since I've been treated to something this nice?...

It gets silent again while I'm eating and Okita is playing with his cup of coffee.

"You know... .."

Okita suddenly starts talking again, startling me a little since I wasn't paying attention to him at all, being too immersed with the parfait.

"You know... in fact... you're one of the very few people I actually do like, danna."

Almost choking on my parfait I look surprised at him. When he doesn't say anything more I continue to stare at him, waiting for a "just kidding" but he stays silent. The staring seems to make him nervous so I look away, staring at the table we sit there a little awkwardly.

Oooi, is this some kind of joke?! But why the hell would he joke like that? There's no reason for him to say something like that... Damn brats these days, they're so hard to figure out! Is this what they call a "love confession"? No way, that only happens in doki doki shoujo manga! Besides, he probably meant like as in "don't want to blast you to death" kind of like. Yeah. Yeah... Ahahha, that must be it!...

After a while it's starting to get really awkward, this is getting uncomfortable...

"I mean... you know... not that... .. I mean, I just don't feel the urge to kill you when I see you. Unlike with most of those bastards or idiots, I can talk normally with you..." Okita looks a bit lost and scratches his throat a few times. Wait, is that.. no way... a blush?
"You're the only partner I have when I want to make Hijikata-san suffer... so.. I guess ... it's because we are a bit alike... that I don't seem to dislike you?"

He seems a little surprised himself at his conclusion, probably unaware that he's slightly blushing.

I inwardly sigh, not knowing if it's a good thing that a sadistic teenager seems to "not dislike me". But more importantly, what sort of like does the brat really means? Like as in, I like teasing Hijikata with you but nothing more or.. ... or..? How the hell am I supposed to react to this? Damn that sadistic brat, Gin-san isn't used to situations like this. Trying to buy myself more time I take another bite of my parfait, still not looking at him.

"Ahh... Is that so?" I finally reply after swallowing the sweet sugar. Okita just kind of nods, waiting for me to continue. But I don't know what else to say, just what does he expect me to do? Okita also falls silent so we go back to being quiet again.

I make sure to stare out the window while I continue to eat. Savoring the taste of the free parfait I absent minded start to slowly lick the spoon clean. After I notice there's nothing left on it I take another bite while thinking about what Okita just said, repeating this several times. Turning my head to ask Okita what he actually means I see he's still slightly blushing. Wait, what? Why is he still...? Dam, what's going on with him, he acts so strange.

Just when Okita opens his mouth to say something I hear an awfully familiar voice behind me, instantly killing the oppertunitie for Okita to speak up. Even though I'm a little curious about what Okita wanted to say I'm grateful the awkwardness has disappeared.

"So this is where you are, you sneaky bastard!" I let out a soft chuckle hearing the lame cursing while I turn my head just enough to see an angry Hijikata. "Damn, you're supposed to be on patrol, not slacking off with the good-for-nothing Yorozuya boss."

Okita seems annoyed, being interrupted by Hijikata. He slowly stands up before answering in that bored tone of his "Hai hai, calm down Hijikata-san. I'm already on my way. I just don't feel like doing it since it was you who dragged me with you." Shaking his head he continues "Besides, I expected you to be able to find those pathetic terrorists by yourself, don't blame me for not finding them if you couldn't while you were actually looking for them. Haa, you kind of disappoint me, Vice commander."

Hijikata looks extremely pissed off by Okita's reply. He's panting harder than usual and his cheeks are red, though he's probably been running through Edo while looking for Okita and the terrorist. I kind of feel sorry for him, having to deal with the sadistic brat. Waoh. Wait. I mean I don't feel any kind of sympathy but... yeah... looking after Okita would be one hell of a tiring job... so it's kind of normal to think like this, right?

"Relax Hijikata, if you keep getting so angry about small stuff you'll die of an heart attack sooner or later," Okita keeps mocking him, sounding a bit hopeful about the "sooner" part though.
"Oh don't worry, that won't happen. I'm perfectly healthy you know, I actually exercise and eat healthy stuff unlike a certain lazy good-for-nothing I know," Hijikata bites back. Healthy? What? Does he think all that mayo is good for him?!

He suddenly looks at me, as if he just remembered I'm still here too. His eyes tighten just a tiny bit. Oooi, what's up with that look? He then looks at Okita, glancing at him, almost as if he's trying to tell him anything. Okita looks expressionless but when he sees Hijikata glancing his expression also changes a little. What's going on?

"Okita, you're nów going on patrol. Otherwise it'll be seppuku as soon as we're back! Go, now!" Hijikata hisses. Damn, even I think he sounds a little scary. Guess he isn't called the demonic vice commander for nothing. Okita just stares back provokingly and seems to be plotting something. There's a tense air surrounding them which only gets worse when he suddenly smirks. He looks at me, still smirking. Oooi, wait, leave me out of whatever your problem is! I'm innocent, innocent!

"Hijikata-san, if I go on patrol now will you keep danna company in my place? He'll get lonely without anyone to talk to him and we wouldn't want that, would we?" Okita looks at Hijikata with those big innocent eyes, sugar sweet voice while smiling sweetly as if he's actually concerned about me.

Oooi! What is he talking about? I don't need a mayo addicted bastard to keep me company, Gin-san is perfectly happy alone! Well if it was Ketsuno Ana it was another story but that's not the point, damn it! When he said he didn't hate me he was joking right? He knows Mayora and I always end up arguing or even fighting, he's a demon!

But... at least he didn't poison my parfait and he even payed for it... So maybe he's not that bad? People who buy sweets for others can't possibly be bad, right? Wait, that's not the matter here. Anyway, Gin-san doesn't need a Mayora as company. Well... another parfait would be nice... but we're talking about the Mayora bastard here, no way in hell he would ever buy me a parfait.

Hijikata seems extremely annoyed by Okita's request. He doesn't answer, just glances at him while he's clearly getting angrier with each passing second. Okita just smiles back. Suddenly Hijikata quickly glances at me again, just what did poor Gin-san to you?!

It feels like the air keeps getting colder and there's a really nasty aura surrounding those two. I'm getting tired with all this, I came here because I wanted some rest.

"Hai hai, that's enough, relax you two, damn it. Okita, just what the hell are you trying to do? Gin-san here is perfectly fine alone, I'm not a rabbit who'll will die of loneliness so don't go and do stupid things. And for you Mayora, if you want to stay here I'm fine with it, just relax if you do so. If you want to fight each other, fine, just don't do it in this restaurant."

Without replying Okita and Hijikata stare at me but quickly start glaring at each other again. Ahh just forget it, it's not my business. Go fighting outside or whatever, just leave me alone.

I close my eyes again and lay down on the table, comfortably resting my head on my arms, hoping they will both disappear so that I can get some well deserved rest.

After a while it seems like they fought it out, silently, as I hear one of them walking away. "Well then, I payed the bill as promised danna." I look up as I hear Okita talking to me in an almost nice tone. I slightly smile back and raise my hand as thanks. He turns toward Hijikata and continues; "I'll be going then, just as you wish. Have fun, you two. Don't do stupid things without me." Okita sounds irritated but there's also a hint of sadism. I'm screwed.

"Bye danna, I hope you enjoyed your free parfait. See you around" Okita smirks and I see him walking away. I let out a soft sigh, hoping that things will finally calm down now. I lay down on the table again, not sure what I want to do now, I don't feel like getting up yet. I'm slowly dozing off when I hear the sound of a chair scratching. Surprised I open my eyes, looking at an irritated Mayora who's sitting sitting down in Okita's former chair. Strange, I thought for sure he would leave...

"You know, you're not forced to keep me company if you don't want to. Oh, wait. Don't tell me you're actually listening to Okita-kun? Or... you're actually concerned about me? I'm touched by your feelings but I'm sorry to say my heart already belongs to Ketsuno Anna" I can't help but tease him. Teasing Mayora has always been a hobby of me. "Don't worry, I'm not doing it for you nor for that Okita bastard" I raise my eyebrow, skeptical. "Tch, if you really wanna know; I'm dead tired, I need a damn break and with Okita finally doing his job I feel like I can finally relax a little."

I look at him, slightly smirking. Somehow seeing him irritated never fails to amuse me so I decide to irritate him a little more, after all I'm a bit bored and I have some time to kill.

"Ahww, is poor Oogushi-kun tired after a little walk around the big scary town?" I teasingly ask again, knowing he hates the nickname.

"Shut it you natural perm, you're a good for nothing idiot. Tch. If you really want to know, I couldn't get enough sleep last night during... certain problems." Hijikata still sounds irritated but also looks a bit... uncomfortable? "Anyway as I said; I'm dead tired and after talking to Okita I'm also extremely pissed off, that brat really will kill me sooner or later with his attitude."

Just when I want say that Gin-san didn't choose his natural perm, boss of the restaurant interrupts me "Sorry to interrupt Gin-san, but I have an early delivery... Could I ask you and your friend to take care of this place till I'm back? I could also close the place if you can't but then you'll have to get out..."

Perfect. If there's no one around I'll be able to tease Oogushi-kun even better.

I quickly answer before Hijikata can even protest "Hai, of course boss. This guy here is from the Shinsengumi as you can see, so don't worry. We'll handle things here so you can go." I put my hand on Hijikata's shoulder like we're best buddies, smiling innocently. The boss seems relieved and takes off leaving us alone, promising to get back as soon as he can.

"Oi, you, don't decide stuff like that on your own! I have things to do you know? Unlike some lazy jobless idiot I have a job and work to do!" I hear Hijikata complaining and decide to ignore his insults. Ignoring and teasing him usually works better then arguing when I want to piss him off after all.

"If it's bothering you so much... why not tell me about your problems, dear Oogushi-kun? They say talking about problems will make you feel better, don't they? So tell Gin-sensei; Why couldn't you sleep last night?" I ask, making sure my tone is sugar sweet.
"W-what the hell? I told you I'm not "Oogushi-kun" you bastard. Besides, what's up with that rare tone of yours? And why I couldn't sleep isn't any of your business."

Hijikata does seems a little tense and tired now I look better. I guess he's really bothered about it... Hmmm, what could it be. Well I if I had to guess it would be that, right?

"So my poor Oogushi-kun, seeing your reacting I assume there were certain activities that kept you awake?" I purr in a low, suggestive, tone. "Activities that couldn't be done earlier that day? Perhaps... because those activities can't stand the light of the day...?"

Hijikata looks at me and raises his eyebrow a little, trying to hide his confusing but failing. He just doesn't get it. Perfect. This is gonna be so much fun.

I turn myself towards him so that I can look him straight in the eyes. I nudge his knee to make him so the same and he hesitantly does so. Our knees are almost touching this way but that's not the main point. While I continue to talk I slowly lean a bit forward.

"Now tell me, Oogushi-kun, what exactly happened last night? Something... embarrassing?" I smirk as I see his cheeks are getting slightly redder now, almost here, just a little more...

We're sitting really close now, I pull my chair a little closer and put my knee between his. I can even see his pupils widen slightly as I close the remaining distance between us. When I'm close enough I carefully place my mouth next to his ear. I feel him shudder slightly but he doesn't jerk his head away, he's probably too surprised and shocked to react. Good, really good.

I exhale, bloingw a bit air in his ear, earning a little shudder from him. Pulling back I see him struggling with words, he seems like he wants to protets, but stops as I slowly caress his cheek with one of my hands. I never knew his skin was so soft, it's a rather strange but... nice feeling I guess. Hijikata looks surprised, almost embarrassed even and just when he wants to say something I cut him off.

I lean in again and whisper soft but seductively "What exactly were you doing, Hijikata-kun? Hmm? Maybe something... nice? Something... exciting? Something... forbidden, perhaps...?" I can see him blushing fiercely now, finally getting what I've been hinting towards. How cute...

"Y-you bastard! W-what are you t-talking about? I-I mean... that's not... I wouldn't.. .. never!"

He seems at loss for words and tries to pull back but I won't let him, not yet. I place my hand on the back of his head to keep him close. I carefully place my other hand on his knee, lightly massaging it. He tenses up under my hand but doesn't make a move to run away. "What's wrong, Hijikata-kun? Was I perhaps... right?" I whisper lowly. He's really red now, looking really embarrassed but still refusing to respond. I softly chuckle in delight. This is almost too good to be true. I wonder... how far can I go... or rather, how far will he let me go? Wait. No, that sounds wrong. Like I want to go further...

Do I? I mean... looking at him from this close, he doesn't even look that bad. I mean if I were to be interested in him. Which I'm not. This is just a game... a game, yeah.
But why is my heart pounding so fast then?...

Without thinking about it, I lean in and place a kiss on his shoulder, close to his neck, while purring, chuckling again as I hear his breath becoming more and more irregular. W-what are you do-" "Hmm.. you're so quiet and obedient... was I really right about what I said?"

"N-no, it's not like that... You're wrong, I.. I wouldn't do something like th-"

"Don't lie to me Oogushi-kun. That's so naughty of you. But you know, it's also rather exciting... I can almost imagine it, Hijikata-kun." I place slowly work my way up from his collarbone to his ear, leaving small kisses every time I go higher.

"You, laying in bed at night... lonely and feeling a bit... restless. Unable to fall asleep you take matters in your own hands, ne Hijikata-kun? Slowly and uncertain your hands are roaming all over your warm restless body, yearning to find a little relief." "Nhh, no.. stop, don't talk like that.. you're wrong," Hijikata lets out a soft protest.
"Hmmm, am I? I'm sure you like that, ne? The feeling of your body tensing up under your touch, becoming more and more restless... Not sure what you want... just wanting to get rid of that restless feeling... so you keep touching yourself, slowly reaching those naughty places..."

As Hijikata-kun is distracted by my words, I slowly move my hand closer to his thigh while I keep gently massaging the soft yet tense flesh. I hear a soft gasp as I move my hand even higher, closer and closer to that place but never really touching it, teasing him until he's blushing bright red.

"Nhgg, aahh... hha... .. don't... d-don't touch there... aahh!.. Nhh- tease..."

I let my other hand roam from the back of his head to his shoulders, moving lower and lower and finally hesitantly slipping under his uniform. He tenses up a as my hand touches his warm but soft skin and he's about to protest, but I just keep talking to distract him.

"Tell me Hijikata-kun, what were you doing with those sinful hands? Did you slip your hand under your t-shirt, just like I'm doing now? Were you looking for your already hard nipples? Did you feel the need to touch them, to rub and pinch them till they were so sensitive you would moan out of sheer pleasure just from touching them? Were you teasing yourself like that, panting and blushing... moaning a little aloud, wanting to feel even better?"

"I-I'm not moa- d-dont! I don't want th- ngggh" Hijikata is panting a little as he looks away, too embarrassed that he actually moaned a little when I brushed over his sensitive nipples.

I continue to brush them, earning more soft muffled moans. "Did you first brush them teasingly soft like this?" Another moan escaped, he's clearly fighting to keep himself silent but isn't succeeding at all. Wanting to hear more of those sinful arousing moans I continue this dangerous game.

"And after that? When you grew tired of softly brushing, did you pinch them?" Earning a louder moan when I slowly roll a hard nipple between my fingers I smirk, starting to get a little rougher with him. I see Hijikata biting on his lip, trying to prevent other lustful sounds to escape his mouth. He looks so... ravished... so.. arousing, even though he's a guy. I must stop this ridiculous game. I know. But. But. I find myself wanting more, more... I kiss his neck again, slightly biting into the sensitive skin, earning another soft grunt.

"While you were busy with one hand, teasing and pleasuring your nipples... what did the other one do?" I whisper suggestively while moving my other hand a little higher on his tight again. A soft moan escapes his mouth and suddenly it hits me. The sight of his aroused and embarrassed face makes my pants feel way too tight. Hijikata looks at me with dazed eyes, a little unstable but so very sinful.

I find myself drawn into his gaze, he's so enchanting... I, I never knew he could look so... tempting... Damn it, pull yourself together! But I can't. Even though he's Hijikata, Shinsengumi's Vice Commander Hijikata of all people, I can't deny him when he looks like this... he's just too much to resits...
Sitting so close to me while he's slightly panting, looking at me with those lust clouded eyes and with those parted soft looking, slightly wet lips... I find myself unable to hold back any longer. I pull my head back from his ear, still looking at those soft, inviting lips.

I only wanted to tease him a little... isn't this going too far? I... I should stop this... but god he looks so tempting... and those lips.. they look so sweet, so soft I just can't-

"H-hot... I feel... so strange.. it's hot... really strange... do something... ne, Gintoki..."

Hearing Hijikata talk like that, saying my name in such an sinful way... I just lost the tiny bit of my self control I had.

I place my hand behind his head again, caressing his soft hair while pulling him even closer towards me. Those dazed eyes keep me enchanted and I'm unable tothink about anything besides those soft, sweet lips. I close my eyes when I feel his warm breath tickling against my lips, I move a little closer to him and just as I feel something warm I... get roughly shoved back.

Surprised by the sudden force I open my eyes when I almost fall off my chair, stumbling backwards till I hit the window. Hijikata's still slightly panting while he starts to yell "J-just what the fuck were you trying to do? Just, what, shit, I'll arrest you for s-sexual harassment freaking pervert!"

Confused at the sudden change in attitude I just stare at him, his eyes burning with anger this time. "Damn bastard, taking advantage of people like that is a god damn crime! You fucking idiot, just how far were you planning to take this stupid joke?"

While Hijikata keeps yelling I feel my chest suddenly ache at his last words. Joke? Ahh, ahhah that's right... this was just a game, wasn't it? Just a little meaningless game... But I can't help to feel something like disappointment, embarrassment and something else... rejection?

It certainly wasn't the first time that teasing Hijikata ended up with a lot cursing and yelling but this time it's... different. I know I -almost- went too far but still.. It hurts when you yell and curse at me for almost k-kissing you asshole! Wait. Why would it hurt?... It's not the first time Hijikata yelled at me.
But why is it then that this time it feels like my heart is being stabbed, and the knife gets twisted around?...

Not knowing how I should react to all this I simply say the first thing that comes into my mind "But... you looked like you were enjoying yourself... ne,... weren't you?.." As soon as the words leave my mouth I regret them, knowing I just crossed a line I shouldn't have.

Hijikata looks dumbstruck at me, only to get furious after the meaning of my words finally sink in and for a moment I really expect him to draw his sword to slice something (or rather, me) up. But he just stands there, looking confused, embarrassed and above all, furious. He glances at me with so much hatred and something else I don't understand, I find myself unable to look away, trapped.

After what feels like hours he finally looks away, muttering and cursing something about arresting me the next time he sees me and storms away. I know I should probably run after him, trying to explain things, explain what.. Explain that you were unable to resist him and wanted to kiss him, for real?
I know I should run after him but something stops me. Before he disappeared I swear I saw tears welling up in his eyes and I know nothing I'd say now would be good enough... just what the hell did just happen?

In a daze I stumble back in my chair and then I realize just how much my chest aches, how much it hurts. This was not what I planned, not what I wanted at all... I feel guilty, what if I really made him cry with my stupid teasing, well, it was meant as teasing untill I took it too far.

Lost in thoughts and worry I touch my underlip, remembering the hot feeling when we almost really... k-kissed. Unable to understand anything I just sit there, wondering what I should do next...