Note- I should mention this takes place shortly after Felina and Marion's escape from Justicar Raila and the Citadel.
One month. That's how long it's been since this asari barged into my life and pulled me in to a situation I really have no business being in. Protecting someone never was my strong suit, especially someone I care about. I can't help but get that feeling in my gut that every second I spend with the kid I'm dooming her to end up just like Sarah and Daniel.
I punch in a new set of coordinates into the ship's nav systems before I reach for a fresh smoke. It's a bad habit I picked up when I was about 15. Sarah made me quit when we adopted Daniel. With her gone it seemed like a nice time to pick up where I left off. If anything the damn things would help bring me into a well deserved early grave. Plus it's the closest thing I get to relaxation.
As I light it I catch Felina staring at me with those big blue eyes of hers from the seat next to me. Her eyes are about the only readable feature of her face that isn't covered in white bandages. But damn if that innocent gaze doesn't stir something in me.
I take a drag and blow the smoke I don't inhale out the corner of my mouth before turning to say something to her.
"There a reason you're staring at me, Kid?"
Her eyes open wide in what I assume is embarrassment before she quickly turns away.
"I-I'm sorry, Miss Corvus. I was...just..."
I decide to ease her nerves. "Don't worry about it." I tell her before I bring the cigarette back between my lips.
"How did you get them?"
"What?"
"Your s-scars. The ones on your face."
As I stared at her trying to form my response to the question she grows unsure of herself yet again. She has a habit of it.
"Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked."
I turn my face to her and point to the scars carved in my right cheek. "Shrapnel from a grenade. You can thank the turians for that one." I point to my bisected eyebrow and the scar across the bridge of my nose next. "Batarian torture. That one wasn't fun."
I've never liked talking about myself. But the kid has a way of getting me to speak. Sarah used to be the only one who could do that.
"W-What about that one?"
I know which mark she means even without seeing her point. The same one on my cheek I was currently running my thumb along to remind myself of that night. Not that I need any help remembering. It's never far from my mind. And I never want that to change. After everything I've done, I deserve the pain it causes me. Even before Sarah found me in that bar on Elysium I had my share of mistakes haunting me. I did things in the Alliance I still see when I close my eyes at night. But most of those memories serve as a backdrop to the image of the blood draining from Sarah's slit throat and of Daniel lying dead on the floor in his pajamas.
I decide I don't want to answer the asari's question. I don't know what to say so I just ignore it and take another long drag. Felina's head dips in disappointment and it kills me inside. I'm getting too attached, for her sake I know I need to put a stop to that. But it's hard to push away the only other person in my life.
"Miss Corvus?"
Something breaks in me and I say something I regret. "Just...call me Marion."
The regret fades when a smile forms on Felina's covered face. "M-Marion, I was wondering what it's like to have hair."
Despite my self pity I chuckle at the random question. She seemed to have a never ending supply of them. "It's good." I answer with a smirk that I quickly hide.
"Doesn't it feel weird having all of that on your head?"
"Does it feel weird having tentacles on yours?" I ask back and Felina smiles again.
"Could I...well..." She fumbles over her words like she often does.
"Yeah?" I press.
"Can I feel it?" Her voice is soft and unsure when she speaks.
"My hair?"
She only nods and says. "Please?"
I let out another puff of smoke before I roll my eyes and say. "Fine. Knock yourself out, Blue."
She shoots to her feet and positions herself behind my chair before I feel her fingers on my head. She runs her hands through my hair slowly, letting my brown locks slip between her fingers. It feels strangley nice just to be touched by someone else again.
"Goddess, It's soft." she says with a tone of excitement in her voice. Suddenly she's pulling clumps up and letting them drop back down and tousling it before she lets out a giggle. Then I feel a sharp pain in my scalp.
"Ow!" I cry and her hands shoot back.
"I'm s-sorry! That hurts you?"
"Uh yeah, pulling my hair hurts."
Felina sits back down looking ashamed before she notices how she's left my hair in a messy state. She tries to stop herself, I can tell from the way her mouth twitches but soon she's laughing.
I hide the smile that comes to my face. Even more surprising is I have to stop myself from chuckling.
"Laugh it up." I tell her as I tuck my brown locks back behind my ears And attempt to ease out the rest of my now frizzy hair.
Before she finishes laughing I realize how hot it is in this ship. I don't waste time unzipping my brown leather jacket and folding it over the arm of the chair. The cold air feels nice on my chest, the plain gray tank top I had on under seemed to catch the asari's attention though. At second glance I see that it's not the top that has her gaze. I'd been ogled by men and women alike ever since I hit puberty enough to know what Felina was looking at. But it felt different having her look at me like that than it did when some mouth breathing asshole on the citadel did it.
Just when I decide to tell her to stop eyeballing my tits the girl winces in pain. When she does it a second time she shuts her eyes tight and presses her thighs together while letting out a whimper.
"You alright?" I ask with more concern lining my voice than I intended to let on.
"I'm F-Fine. I...I believe I need to lay down."
Felina rises from her seat pressing a hand to her stomach and I can't help reaching out to her. Seeing her in pain almost hurts me as well. I don't bother lying to myself, I care about this girl. At first I told myself I was doing this for Sarah. My wife was always a kind woman in the all the years I was lucky enough to share with her. The same couldn't be said for me. Not that I typically gave a shit about playing nice, especially with aliens. But the way Felina looked at me that first night we met, I knew Sarah would have wanted me to do this, to keep her safe. Or maybe I felt I had to do at least one good thing to make up for all i've done. Not that I'd ever be able to make up for the lives I had taken, the pain I had caused or the loss of my family.
But things were beginning to change. I no longer felt like this was for Sarah, I was doing this for the asari. Because as shitty as it made me feel inside Felina meant a great deal to me.
My hand wraps around her arm and I spoke in a soft voice. "What's wrong? Tell me."
"I j-just need rest." She insists and scurries away to the bunks.
I want to check on her the second she closes the bunk room door. It was my job to keep her safe after all. But I decide against it, more distance between us will be good for both of us.
I'm not blind, I can see the way she looks at me. But I'd have a better chance of understanding how to split the atom than explaining what she sees in me.
I dread the day I'll have to tell her goodbye, the day when I'll be forced to leave her. She won't understand It's not because I don't care for her, I know that already. But it's the right thing for me to do, not the easy thing. And it's long overdue I did something right. I don't know what i'll tell her. Maybe i'll just offer my hand and say goodbye just like that. She's a sweet kid, she'll find better friends than me soon enough. As selfish as it is it's me I worry about.
I don't know what I'll do without her.
I spend the next hour finishing my pack of cigarettes and watching space go by through the cockpit's viewport. Eventually my eyes feel tired so I rise to my feet and enter the bunk room.
Felina's asleep on the small bunk right next to the door. She's removed the bandages from her face and her scarred and mutilated appearance is on full display. I might have had some bad luck but it sure did seem like the kid gave me a run for my money. I don't feel repulsed when I look at the gory holes where her nose used to be or the jagged blade marks on her cheeks. Instead I only feel sorry for her. Sorry that such an innocent girl had suffered through so much.
She had succeeded in kicking off all of the covers from her body and on to the floor but she now shivered in her sleep. Quietly I pick up the blankets from the metal floor and softly drape them over her.
More and more each day Sarah and Daniel slip to the back of my mind. I find myself thinking about this asari even during the small periods of time we're not together. At first I had thought it was because she reminded me of Sarah. They were both kind and gentle, both innocent. But I had recently realized how different they really were. Outside of the obvious, Felina had this strength that I don't think even she knew about. This drive that kept her going through all the terrible shit she's told me about. And all I did was crumble under the same pressure.
She's so strong and yet at the same time vulnerable. It's that strength and that kind innoncence of hers that makes me want to hold her. That makes me never want to let her go.
I curse myself. I cant't let stupid thoughts like that into my head. I get undressed and settle into my own bunk. Before I close my eyes I steal one more look at her and whisper.
"Goodnight, Kid."
It doesn't take long for the nightmares to wake me up. Every soldier who's seen action has them. This was a new one though. A distorted memory from the Alliance. One of my last operations as a Corsair. The op had gone about as badly as it could and it left me and my squad fighting for our lives. When the bullets stopped flying and only us marines were left standing we got a clear look at who we were fighting. The batarians had sent armed children after us. I despised those four eyed terrorist bastards but a child is still a child to me no matter how many eyes.
The batarians had used the incident to fuel their anti-human propaganda and the Alliance swept the whole damn thing under the rug before sending me off somewhere else. The sick thing is I am almost relieved it was only dead alien children haunting me tonight. For me that's progress.
Still I awake feeling sick to my stomach. Suddenly a soft stuttering voice called out to me in the darkness.
"Marion? A-Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." I tell her. "Go to sleep, blue. I didn't mean to wake you."
"You didn't. I h-have trouble sleeping some nights."
"Why's that?"
"Bad d-dreams."
I wipe my hair from my face. "I know what that's like."
"May I ask you a personal question?" She asks.
"Go ahead, Kid."
"Why are you h-helping m-me?"
It takes me a while to come up with my answer. Felina waits patiently for it in her cot. Finally I find my voice.
"Because I got nothing better to do." I tell her. But a different thought crosses my mind.
Because I think I'm falling in love with you.
Notes- So this was a bit of an experiment for me. I've never done first person before so I hope it turned out okay. Tell me in the reviews :). For those of you who didn't read the Veiled Asari hopefully this helped you get a better understanding of Marion. As I said in Rise I hope to turn this into a companion series focusing on different characters. Up next will be Miranda Lawson.