Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I especially don't own any of the fandoms expressed (is that the right word?) in this drabblette. Please don't take offense at the stupid American girls comment; I'm an American girl, so I thought us fair game.

Summary: Little Bunny Foo-foo seems to be having an identity crisis. Why else would he be in Wonderland, Middle Earth, Alagaesia, and Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory?

Little Bunny Foo-foo's Multi-Novelian Adventure

One day while walking through the forest, Little Bunny Foo-foo was looking for some field mice to bop on the head when he accidentally fell down a hole near the bottom of a tree, completely missing his rendezvous with a self-righteous fairy with an authority complex. They were supposed to get lattes at quarter past ten.

"I'll be late," he thought, sadly gazing at his pocket watch as he fell, and fell, and fell, and fell… He kept changing size as he fell, and fell, and fell, and fell, passing a grinning cat (which is zoologically impossible), a girl with an extraordinarily stupid-looking face (which is very common in America, except I don't know if Bunny Foo-foo was in America), a caterpillar smoking an Eastern type of water-pipe, and several bemused hedgehogs. Also, a pink flamingo.

"How strange," Bunny Foo-foo mused out loud.

"Strange is not as strange as strange may seem," the grinning, zoologically impossible cat said cryptically. "Strangely enough."

Bunny Foo-foo passed several round windows. As he looked out them, he saw short, fat creatures rather like short men occupying their time; some were sitting in wooden chairs smoking long, comically shaped pipes. Several of them were dancing on a table, drinking something out of tankards and singing. Quite a few were eating. Every single one of them was barefoot.

Bunny Foo-foo landed with a resounding bump.

"That will most certainly leave a mark," he grumbled.

As the dust cleared, he noticed there was a horse looking at him. In fact, there were three horses and three people with strangely pointy ears looking at him.

—The world shimmered, the fabric of time and space wavered, and quantum happened. In an invisible place of higher learning on a flat planet, several men in pointy hats scurried around a large machine filled with ants and bees and, inexplicably, a teddy bear. One of them went around to the back of it and prodded it technically with his foot.—

Bunny Foo-foo was sitting in a patch of emerald green grass that smelled strongly of peppermint. However, he had no time to ponder the perplexingly strong sweet scent of herb, as a terrible voice, with a spoiled British accent, said "How cute! I want him, daddy. I want a pink Foo-foo bunny, daddy, I want one now."

"All right, honey," a harassed male said, "I'll get you a Foo-foo bunny before the day is out."

"But I don't want just any Foo-foo bunny, daddy," the unpleasant voice whined, "I want that one." So instead of Bunny Foo-foo scooping up field mice, he was scooped up, and then, indignity of indignities, he was put into an empty pouch!

—The world shimmered, the fabric of time and space wavered, and quantum happened. Again. In an invisible place of higher learning on a flat planet, several men in pointy hats scurried around a large machine filled with ants and bees and, inexplicably, a teddy bear. One of them went around to the back of it and prodded it technically with his foot. Again.—

So instead of Bunny Foo-foo scooping up field mice, he was scooped up, and then, indignity of indignities, he was put into a pouch, along with an uncomfortably hard rock.

Inside the pouch, Bunny Foo-foo couldn't see a thing. He was jolted along as a horse trotted. But then, something strange happened. That is, stranger than the fabric of time and space stretching and quantum happening. A babble of voices sounded, then steel clashed on steel. Little Bunny Foo-foo wished he had something to eat. A nice crunchy carrot, for instance. Then, in a bright flash of light, he felt himself being lifted up weightlessly…

And crashed down onto hard ground with the uncomfortably hard rock under him.

"How rude," he huffed, "I've a great mind to send the doctor's bill to them." Though, who they were, he could not have said. He busied himself with chewing a hole in the pouch so that he could wriggle out. Just as he slipped through, some clunk of a boy almost stepped on him. Indignity!

Just then, a field mouse skittered across his path, stopping for a moment to stare at him. If mice could feel such a complicated emotion as bewilderment, that certain mouse certainly would have felt it. For certain. Then it skittered slowly off into the woods.

Little Bunny Foo-foo smiled. This might not be such a bad place, after all. It had mice. Bewildered mice, at that. Singing "It's a Small World, After All," he hopped off into the woods, leaving the clunk of a boy and the rock in the pouch to sort themselves out. They weren't very interesting, anyway. They certainly couldn't be as important as he was, anyway.

-finis-

Books, series, songs, etc. mentioned:

In order of appearance:

Little Bunny Foo-foo (camp-song)

Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll

The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien

Eragon, by Christopher Paolini

the Discworld series, but especially Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, by Roald Dahl

the Discworld series, but especially Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

Eragon, by Christopher Paolini

It's a Small World, After All (I don't know what this song is from; Zazu sings it in the Lion King)

If you review

you will get a baby grue

to bring up as you

wish so to do.

If you don't review

you'll be eaten by a grue

and we'll cry for you,

boo-hoo, boo-hoo.

-seri