I sat at my desk worried, how was I going to make it through another 5 hours of work? We had spent so many hours on our last case and all I wanted was to go home. Surround myself in the familiarity of my apartment and most of all I wanted to see Sergio. This case was particularly hard; any case that involved children was hard on me, much as it was on my team. Hotch and JJ both had children at home and most of all they experienced these cases on a different level than all of us. I could sympathize, but deep down, I had no idea what they must feel when we look at the photos, enter the crime scene, or speak to the parents.

I'd finished my paperwork a little after we got back to headquarters and watched Morgan and Reid bicker about what women really wanted from a man. Normally I would be all for this distracting conversation, but I didn't have it in me today. So when they approached me with a question I got up from my desk and walked over to the break room to get a cup of coffee. I was a little frustrated with them, how could they not feel the way I did? How could this case not matter to them? How could they just move on so quickly? I've never had this issue and I think it was because I didn't have any family members with children… until now.

I loved every single member of my team, they were my family, but today was a bad day. We all had bad days, and even though we should have been the best at hiding our true feeling, I always felt I was the worst of us all. Morgan could read right through me, I had to get away from him. I didn't want to explain anything. I didn't want to talk about it, at least not to him. I knew what he would tell me and I needed a different perspective.

What I actually needed was for this day to be over, I needed to go home, crawl in bed and surrender. Surrender to the guilt, surrender to the pain in my heart, surrender to the tears that I fought through this whole case. After struggling to make a fresh pot of coffee, I walked into Hotch's office and plopped down in the chair in front of his desk.

"Emily, is everything okay?" He asked as he looked up from his paperwork, concern on his face. I swallowed the lump in my throat, as my eyes clouded over I had to look away.

"I'm having a bad day" was all I could get out before lifting my hands to my face to wipe my tears.

He stood from behind his desk, walked over to the door and softly closed it. He gestured for me to move over the couch and sat next to me. We sat for a few minutes in silence before he took my hand. He was one of the strongest men I knew, even after he lost Hailey, even having to raise Jack all by himself. I struggled to keep my breath steady, I struggled to keep my eyes cleared, but when he took my hand, my walls crumbled and I fell apart. He embraced me and I sobbed into his shoulder, I stayed there for what felt like 10 minutes without saying a word. He selflessly rubbed up and down my back to calm me and I was nothing more than grateful. I loved this man; he was a pillar in my life and I would die for him.

"Emily, what is this about? Why are you so upset?"

I pulled back, I wasn't entirely sure what had brought this on. I had no reason to be this upset over the case. We had all been there, we all saw the horrible things people do. I sat back and rubbed the tears from my eyes. I looked up at Hotch as he smiled down at me, nodding, giving me approval to speak.

"I can't imagine how hard this case has been on you. All those boys that monster destroyed. I… I have no right to be upset, but those boys reminded me of Jack, hell they reminded me of Henry and I was powerless to protect them. How am I…"

I tried to question.

"Emily"

"But Hotch" I said as I pulled further away to stand over near the window.

"Emily" he stood behind me, hand on my shoulder. I moved to pull away, to fight these emotions of guilt, how would I protect the children in my family?

"Emily, stop this! You have been a wonderful Aunt to Jack and Henry. They love their sleepovers, beating you on Mario Cart, Sergio, and they love you, their Auntie Em. I have something for you…"

He moved over to his briefcase, pulled something out and walked back over to me.

"I was supposed to wait until tomorrow, but Jack gave this to me before we went on the case. He wanted to make sure you got this on your birthday, you know, in case we were still in the field"

I looked down at his hands and found a card. My eyes clouded over again, these children, these boys whom at every family gathering fought each other to sit next to me, begged me for sleep overs when we had the weekends off. These beautiful boys whom will most likely be the only men who would truly owe my heart ... other than Sergio… knew exactly how to make me feel better. I took the card from Hotch's hand and smiled at the writing on the front. To Our Most Favoritest Auntie Em. Under the writing was picture of us at the park. I was sitting with JJ watching Henry, Jack, Hotch, Morgan, and Reid play catch. The ball had rolled over to where JJ and I sat, as I reached for the ball Henry and Jack tackled me. I was on the ground in less than a minute with two boys tickling me to give up the ball. We had been laughing so hard, red faced and all. I had no idea someone had taken a picture of us and it had automatically become one of my favorites. When I opened the card, a little slip of paper fell out. It was a hand made voucher for one movie night/sleep over extravaganza with Jack and Henry. Jack's card was wonderful and exactly what I needed at the moment. He wished me the best of birthdays and told me to redeem my voucher as soon as possible. He even helped Henry write his name at the bottom of the card. They were growing so fast! I looked up at Hotch and smiled, he knew that I was feeling better.

"They love you very much Emily. You are very capable for protecting them. We can't save all the children in the cases we work; we won't always get there in time. We see the very worst in people and at the end of the day; we have to move on to another case. There will always be cases, there will always been families that need us. But there is still beauty in this world. There are still people that love each other, and there are happy children. Don't forget that Emily. If your paperwork is done, go home. Get some rest. Jack and I are expecting you over for dinner tomorrow at 6pm… for you birthday of course".

I looked up at Hotch nodded and smiled

"I'll be there, text me if you need me to bring anything"

I left his office in higher spirits, stopped at my desk to pack up before saying goodbye to Morgan and Reid, wishing them a nice weekend. They looked at me, eyes filled with concern, I assured them that everything was okay and that I was feeling as if I was coming down with something. They didn't push and I was grateful. Before leaving the compound I stopped by JJ's office. As I looked through the window, I could see she was reading a file, deep in concentration. She looked so beautiful then and I knew Hotch was right. There were still beautiful people in the world and JJ was one of them. She had the most beautiful heart, she was my blessing in disguise and I cherished every moment I got to spend with her. She picked me up when I was at my lowest. She helped me run when I needed to escape. She kept me sane when I had nothing out there in the world and I loved her for that. I loved her more than she would ever know.

I tapped softly on the glass to gain her attention. She looked up smiled at me and gestured for me to come in.

"Hi JJ, I hope I'm not bothering you. Just wanted to wish you a wonderful weekend."

"You're leaving already?" she questioned as she look up at the clock behind me. It was still early.

"Yeah, I finished up my paperwork and Hotch let me leave early" I said trying to not give away any more information. JJ was smart, and she would be able to tell immediately if something was wrong.

"Em, is everything alright"

Dammit! How could she be able to read me so easily! She was so new at profiling, and always seemed to surprise me.

"Yes, everything is fine. Just exhausted from the case and I'm not feeling very well, I think I may be coming down with something"

She looked at me, questioning my excuse. She must have believed me as she stood from her desk, walked over to me and gave me hug.

"Call me if you'd like some company. Henry is with Will this weekend" I nodded and left her office.

JJ's hug made me feel even better than before leaving Hotch's office. I almost stayed behind to see if I could help the guys finish up, but though better of it. Again, I loved these guys but I just didn't have the energy to stay.