The Infinite Bestie Determination

By: Leese

Rating: T (low-level course language and adult themes)

Summary: Just before Penny gets hit in the face with Amy's handbag of coins, she tells Bernadette that she is on her way to go with Leonard to a physics lecture. I originally internalized that as 'she is on her way to watch Leonard give a physics lecture'. Well, with the coins and all, that definitely doesn't happen!

Set during the 'Parking Spot Escalation', which just happens to be right after 'The 43 Peculiarity'…it kind of covers both. (Lenny fluff!)

****

"Oh God, oh God, oh God!" Penny groaned as she lay on the hospital bed still clutching her nose, though she sounded more like 'ogob, ogob, ogob!' It was all thanks to Amy and the petite blonde beside her. Bernadette's bag of frozen peas had accompanied them to the emergency room, but had been removed as soon as blood had started pouring from what Penny could only assume was some horrendous, disfiguring wound, since it hurt like a goddamn bitch!

"Tilt your head back," Bernadette said as she stood beside Penny and forced her to do just that with one hand. Her other was holding several damp tissues stained with water and blood to clean Penny's face.

"Ow, stop it! Where are they? Why have they left me here?" Penny asked, near tears as she tried to speak and not choke on her own blood as it trickled down the back of her throat. "Oh…disgusting!" she said as she spluttered. It came out as 'dizgubbing', and made her hate herself a little bit.

"Maybe if we got Amy in she could help-"

"No!" Penny said quickly. "I just wanna know if it's broken."

"I'm sure everything will be okay, they'll have you in x-ray before you know it. You should try not to talk, Penny."

"But it huuuurts," she whined. This was a level of pain she had not experienced since dislocating her shoulder. Actually, it was worse because it was right there in her face. She really felt like someone should know about it.

"I know, but it's hard to understand you with your n-"

"Bernie!" Penny whined as she squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to say more in protest but she really couldn't, and Bernadette was right; Penny barely understood herself out loud. It was embarrassing.

However, this really was horrible. She was an actress in Los Angeles, which everyone knew was insanely judge-y. She was not currently successful and had no high-quality reputation to fall back on. If her nose was broken this could have actual consequences for her for a really long time. It wasn't the same as a physicist breaking their nose. What if she ended up with a crooked or bumpy nose forever? What if every casting director thought she was ugly? Or what if they looked at her and said, 'we're not sure sweetie, there's something about you that isn't 'quite' right'? What was she going to do?

"Worz day eba!" she proclaimed as she opened her eyes, exasperated by the delay, and looked at the ceiling. Bernadette was still very patiently wiping blood off her face while Penny coughed and wondered if anyone had ever technically drowned from having their head tipped back during a nosebleed.

"It's nearly stopped," Bernadette assured her.

"The pain hasn't!" Penny huffed. She hated that she couldn't screw her face up when half of it felt like it was missing. Tears filled her eyes and she struggled not to cry. Her nose really, really hurt. Breathing was hard, her lungs burned, her whole face felt tight and fiery. Her stomach churned with nausea and she had a handbag of Amy's coins to thank for it! This was not what she'd had in mind for her night, it wasn't- "Oh no," Penny whispered. "No-no-no."

"What?" Bernadette asked.

"Leonard's lecture, I'm not there! He's going to think I stood him up. This sucks. I can't do that to him." She fought down a sob when she shut her eyes and imagined his disappointed face as he searched the lecture theatre for her.

Penny had promised to meet him there, she had even sent him a text message earlier in the day to confirm the time and place. He had replied with two smiley faces and her heart had melted; she had found herself smiling into her phone. Since Penny had said 'I love you' the previous week she had been surfing on a wave of affection for Leonard. She had never thought of herself as a sappy, emotional person. Leonard had never seen her like that either. She had never let him.

Well, that was over. Penny was still the least outwardly emotional person in the relationship, but she was easing up and letting Leonard see more of herself. It was definitely still scary; she loved him almost too completely, and so every time she told Leonard 'I love you', her stomach flip-flopped and she held her breath as though he might laugh. Yet at the same time, Penny did feel like she had been freed. She felt safer, and lighter. He hadn't laughed.

It was almost as though Leonard had more confidence in her, too, or perhaps he had more confidence in himself around her. It was only evident in the little things between them. For example, when Leonard had invited her to this lecture that she was now going to miss, he hadn't said, 'Oh hey Penny, you probably won't be into this but I'm giving this lecture and you can come if you want? I mean I'd really like that.' Instead, he had said, 'Oh hey beautiful, I'm giving a lecture after work in a few days and I'm really pretty excited about it. I know it's not exactly your perfect night out, but do you want to come?'

Maybe those two requests didn't sound very different, but she knew Leonard. It wasn't just what he said, and it wasn't even that in example number two he had called her beautiful; it was how he had said it. He had looked straight into her eyes, his smile had been direct, and his eyes had danced with a confident sort of joy she hadn't always seen there. How could she say no to that?

"He's going to look for me and I'm not there," Penny wept.

"Do you want me to call him?" Bernadette asked. Penny shook her head.

She did not think she would hold it together if that happened. She would become a blubbering mess if Leonard arrived and got upset (which he totally would) and it would make the pain so much worse. Then she would snap at him because she wanted to hold it together, and then they would fight, just because he was being a sweetheart and trying to take care of her, and she couldn't handle that level of vulnerability. She had to get over that, she did love him and she didn't want to be the one to ruin the best relationship she would ever have, certainly not in a crummy hospital emergency room with her face half bashed-in thanks to Amy and Bernadette and a stupid parking spot!

Besides, Leonard had said that he was really excited about the lecture, and if he knew where she was, one of three things would happen. One, he would leave the lecture and miss the opportunity completely, and Penny would feel so guilty! Two, he would stay and speak but he would be completely distracted and might screw up with work or other visiting academics who were there, and that would be awful for him. Or three, and worst of all, he would stay and not care and be totally awesome in his speech, and then Penny would feel lonely and confused, and like this whole 'I love you' thing had been nothing but a fleeting experiment that failed miserably. The possibility terrified her even though she knew Leonard would never do that to her, or to them.

They really were a 'them', Penny realised as she lay clutching her bleeding, probably broken nose. She couldn't pretend that they weren't a team. This was it, the two of them against the world…and Sheldon. Leonard was 'the one', and he had made it very clear how happy he was about that. Their daily, not-very-fairytale version of lovers was still pretty frellin' good, too. Dammit.

"Please don't call him," Penny whispered as a tear trickled out of her closed eyes. She only knew it was there because it felt like hot lava sliding down her rapidly swelling and bruising face. "He'll come here."

"Don't you want him to?" Bernadette asked.

Desperately, Penny thought, but she forced herself to shake her head.

"It's his lecture," she mumbled. "It's so important and he was looking forward to it. I don't want him to ditch that for all of this fun we're having wiping blood off Penny's face."

"And your neck," Bernadette said softly as she wet another tissue in the little cup of water beside the emergency room bed and began her next task. Penny groaned. At least she was wearing a red blouse and red pants, it made the blood less obvious, but they were probably still ruined anyway. "I'm really sorry Penny," Bernadette added. "Amy is sorry too. We should never have gotten involved in the guys' argument about a stupid parking space…it's so unimportant, and petty, and we've hurt you, you've got a broken nose, and-"

"I'm trying not to think about it," Penny muttered. "Do I still have a nose?"

"Well, under that tight grasp of yours, yes you do!" Bernadette said hopefully.

That's something, Penny thought as she sighed and rolled her eyes. Suddenly she realised that she was breathing a little easier, or she had stopped gagging. Blood was no longer trickling down her throat.

"I think it stopped bleeding," she said. It still sounded like, 'I fing i' stob beebing', but it was close enough; Bernadette should know what she meant!

"Great!" Bernadette said. "Can I go and tell Amy that you're okay, and also I'll find a nurse and see what's keeping them? They did say there was a back-up in radiography tonight, but I'm sure it won't be long."

"See if you can steal some painkillers," Penny said. "Strong ones." She continued to hold her hands over her nose; she could not bring herself to let it go. What if it was so badly broken that it just fell apart? What if she started bleeding again? How much blood was a safe amount to lose in one go?

"Okay," Bernadette said softly, but not at all convincingly, as she put the last of the tissues in the nearby bin.

Bernadette went to the toilet first, to wash Penny's blood off her hands and out from underneath her fingernails. It didn't bother her so much, but it wasn't pleasant. On her way out she found a nurse and told them that the woman with the suspected broken nose in Bay 3 wasn't bleeding anymore and discovered that they were still in the lengthy radiography queue. Bernadette then hurried to the waiting area, where she saw Amy sitting in a corner with her shoulders hunched more than usual, and her head downcast as she held her phone in her trembling hands.

"Hey Amy," Bernadette said softly. They really hadn't spoken since they all piled into the car and Penny told them both to shut up. "I'm so sorry-"

"Is she okay?" Amy asked quickly and stood. "I just texted Leonard, and-"

"What?" Bernadette gasped. "Oh no, no, Penny doesn't want him here!"

"But he's her boyfriend," Amy said obviously. "I broke her nose! I had to tell him-"

"Give me the phone," Bernadette said. She read the text message on the screen. "Amy! He's going to be really worried!"

"Sorry," Amy said, but Bernadette didn't have time for that. They could apologise properly later. Maybe they could all go out to dinner together. This was way more important. With Amy's phone in her hands, she found Leonard's number and called him. This was no time for text messages.

Leonard was flustered when his phone rang, and he immediately panicked. He had just sent Amy a text message to tell Penny he was on his way, and he had been halfway to the door before he remembered his lecture. He would have to send an email to cancel, or postpone, or something like that. This had never happened before. How was he supposed to get out of giving a lecture half an hour before he was meant to start it? Did he call someone? What about everyone attending? This would go down badly at work.

But it was Penny, and all Amy's message said was that she and Bernadette had taken Penny to the emergency room with a facial injury and not to worry, because Penny hadn't started bleeding until they arrived. Like bleeding anytime was a good thing!

He was halfway out of his mind by the time he snatched at his phone, hoping it was Amy so that he could get more information out of her.

"Hello?" he asked, breathless. Where was his inhaler? He hurriedly loosened his tie and looked around the office, trying to spot its hiding place.

"Leonard, it's Bernadette," she said. "Firstly, relax and breathe. Secondly, Penny is okay."

"It doesn't sound like it! What happened?"

"There was an incident at my place…she was hit in the face with a handbag. She might have a broken nose. I'm sure it looks worse than it is-"

"Amy said she was bleeding-"

"Yeah, she got a pretty nasty nosebleed. She's okay though, it's stopped now. She's going to get an x-ray soon and they will reset it if they need to."

"I'm on my way, I just have to-"

"No, stop," Bernadette said firmly. "I just spoke to Penny, and she said that this lecture is really important to you and she doesn't want you to miss it. She'll hate herself if you cancel, so I think what you should do is turn your phone off, do the lecture, and then turn it back on to find out how she is, and leave straight away. How long does the lecture go for? She might be discharged by then."

"I need to be there for her-"

"You can be," Bernadette assured him. "This isn't going to be fixed in the next few hours, she's a mess and she'll need you. Trust me Leonard, Penny wants you to do the lecture first. She's being really brave."

Leonard leant on the edge of his desk and tried to work out how he felt about this. He was still terrified, and he felt sick that Penny was in the hospital and he wasn't there because he had this stupid work thing which, when it came to a choice between Penny and work, well, work kind of came off second best.

Then he smiled, because six years ago he never would have thought that he would be the type of guy who would even get the opportunity to pick a girl over science. Not just any girl either, but the strong, ballsy, beautiful girl who moved in across the hall. He would stay as she asked, but he still chose her.

"Is she really okay?" he asked Bernadette in earnest.

"She's not great," Bernadette replied honestly. "But she's doing better now, and Amy and I are here with her. We won't leave her, I promise. She was really insistent that you not come, so that you can give your lecture. She said you were excited about it, so you are giving the lecture, is that understood?"

"Yes," Leonard whispered, sucking in a wheezy breath. "Are you sure?" he asked one more time. "Can I talk to her?"

"She can't hold the phone, she's currently got an iron-grip on her nose in a bed down the hall, and she's as incoherent as a toddler with a head cold, but I can give her a message from you, if you like?"

"Okay," Leonard said. His brain raced ahead, trying to think of what he could say. He wanted to be there, but Bernadette was right. Leonard could be there later that night, and the next day, and the day after that. He planned on being with Penny forever…not that he ever told her that. They were still moving forward in baby steps, even if Penny already knew where they were headed; how could she not know? She simply panicked at the prospect of forever.

Still, Penny was changing. It wasn't just that she had finally admitted her feelings for him. It was that a few years ago, she might have begged him to come to the hospital no matter what, but now she truly was willing to forgo that personal comfort just because she knew how much effort he had put into preparing his lecture. Leonard had even practised it for her the previous night, she had stayed awake and mostly paid attention, and she was still willing to come and watch him do it all over again. That was love. She loved him. All he had ever wanted was someone to deeply love him, and it was Penny…Penny!

Christ Leonard, don't cry again, he told himself as tears filled his eyes and he reached underneath his glasses with his free hand to scrub them away.

"Leonard?" Bernadette asked softly.

"Um, yeah I'm here," he said on a huff. "Just tell her that I'll do the lecture, and I'll be there as soon as I can, and that I love her so, so much."

"I'll tell her," Bernadette said. "Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great."

Leonard hung up and regretfully turned his phone off. It needed to be done, he did not want to be distracted by the vibration in his pocket while he spoke; his mind was shaken enough. He finally located his inhaler in his briefcase and took a puff, all the while doing his best to calm his racing heart and just 'be'. However, he still thought about Penny, and he felt incredibly guilty.

He felt guilty because he had been selfish in the week since she said 'I love you' in the heat of the moment. Ever since, Leonard had let Penny initiate that exchange. That first night when they were in bed after her shift, she was the one who had looked him in the eyes and said 'I love you' again, so sincerely that it made both of them cry before he was even able to respond. Leonard hadn't said it first since. He had considered it good practice for Penny, and he had been trying to let her set the pace. He had not wanted to come across as one of those guys that showered her with 'I love you' over and over again until it became meaningless and insincere. He had gotten so good at stopping himself from blurting it out. He wanted to let her see that those words were special to him; Penny was special and he took her seriously.

It sounded like a good idea at the time, and Leonard had been congratulating himself on how much more comfortable Penny seemed since she got those feelings off her chest and out into the world. And yet, the fact she had been rushed to an emergency room made him reconsider how valuable that decision had been. If her injuries had been more serious, if it had been one of those life-altering situations that he never wanted to happen and did not even want to admit might happen, had he told her that he loved her at all that day?

Nope.

Leonard had said it the day before, but again it had been sort of tongue-in-cheek. After he had finished practising his lecture, Penny had rolled her eyes and let out a sigh of great relief and announced, 'I love you but Jeez Louise that was long!' Leonard had replied with a chuckle and a smirky, sing-song, 'I love you too'. Penny had stuck her tongue out at him. It had been playful and light, but this was not a playful and light situation anymore. This was one of those times that Leonard desperately wanted Penny to know, sincerely, that he loved her. He was in love with her. She didn't need to say it back.

He could picture her unimpressed face at the idea that he was getting sappy and thinking about what he might regret, when he should have been preparing for this lecture that she was going to miss, but that she felt was so important to him. She wanted the evening to go well for him, so Leonard had to do a good job. He had to focus. He wanted to be able to go to the hospital afterwards and when she asked him, 'How was your lecture?' he wanted to be able to smile and say that it went well, that he got asked a good question, and that he was glad he got the chance to do it. She would like that, he hoped.

It was nearly three hours before Leonard turned the phone back on. He had indeed gotten a good question, in fact he had gotten several, and a few other scientists had hung around afterwards to talk to him at the front of the lecture hall. Leonard had felt time dragging on, and on, and on, and every minute felt like an hour, to the point where he had stopped this last guy in the middle of a question and said, 'I'm really sorry but I actually have to go. We had a family emergency today, and it's really important I get home on time.' They had all nodded and immediately backed-off, eyes wide, perhaps a little shocked.

Leonard had only been shocked that he had just used the words 'we had a family emergency'. They were a 'we' and Penny was family and this was kind of an emergency, but it felt strange to say it. It was almost like he was a grown-up who had real, adult-sized problems. Leonard did not always feel that way about his life, so oddly, it was nice. He knew he had definitely matured. Penny had too. At the very least, they were working at it. The fact they were still together and stronger together, in spite of and also because of that growth, only solidified in his mind that they were meant to be.

Leonard turned his phone on as soon as he was back in his office, only to see three messages from Bernadette. His heart hammered.

'Penny says to say good luck and you'll do great. She said to add two smiley faces so here they are :-) :-)'

Leonard grinned. He had sent her two of those little fellas that afternoon, and it seemed she had taken notice and even appreciated them. That was sweet.

Then the second message, 'IT'S NOT BROKEN!'

Finally, the third, which had only been sent half an hour ago, 'We are taking Penny back to her apartment. Meet us there (if she hasn't kicked us out by then…we kind of caused this, sorry).'

Leonard quickly texted back, 'It's okay I'm on my way', and hurriedly packed up for the night.