Disclaimer:I don't own FMA, flametorches, or Dora the Explorer.
Edward walked into his superior's office.
"What'd you want, Mustang?"To his surprise, noone was there.He heard giggling behind the desk.But it wasn't Roy's.
"Who is that?"He asked cautiously.Music started playing.
"No…"The midget exclaimed,eyes widened in fear.Suddenly,two figures jumped onto the desk.
"Dora!"
"Boots!"
"Come on, Dora!"
Ed screamed and tried to run away, but the door had locked.He was stuck in this insane room.
"D-D-D-D-D-Dora!Yay!D-D-D-D-D-Dora!Dora, Dora, Dora the explorer!"Dora and Boots started walking towards Ed with their arms spread,singing the song,in a zombie-like fashion.Edward Looked around the room frantically.Roy had to have a-aha!The young alchemist reached to his side to pull out a flametorch!DORA AND Boots' smiles flipped upside down.
"I don't think it's nice to burn people.Do you, Dora?"The hideous monkey asked his friend.
"Me neither.So if he doesn't put it down, we'll have to teach him a lesson."She replied.
"SHUT UP, BASTARDS!"Edward screamed,pointing the weapon at the cartoon characters.
"That's not a very nice word."Dora said.
"BASTARD,BASTARD,BASTARD!"Ed mocked.The duo then took out their own weapons-Swiper!The fox ran to Ed and snatched up the flametorch.He then proceeded to burn the boy to a crisp.Ed felt Swiper's warm tongue lick his cheek.
"Needs ketchup."The fox commented.Edward was now twitching,slinking onto the floor.Just then Riza came in.
"Is everything okay?"She asked.Edward dashed out the door like a bullet.Riza,seeing the cartoons,aswell ran.Meanwhile,Dora,Boots,and Swiper laughed evily.They were zipped down to reveal the true enemies-Envy,Wrath,and Greed.
"Stupid chibi."