Hello everyone! I think like almost everyone in the Grey's family is still heart broken and shattered over the death of our beloved Derek Shepherd. I cannot believe he's gone still. It took me a while to write a MerDer story because he's gone, but once I got this idea, it was kind of like therapy and the words just started to flow.
So, this is like a mix of family, angst, drama and of course romance of our two favorite characters ever. Hopefully this will soothe everyones' grieving process!
Oh and a little thing that you guys might want to know is that they have five kids Rosie (17), Oliver (7), Charlie (5), Cora (4) and Maisie (1 1\2).
Oh yeah and the title is based off the OneRepublic song "I Lived". I think it kind of explains this story and plus its kinda like Derek lived. Get it?
Enjoy! xx
"Meredith! I could use some help right now!" Derek shouted from the kitchen as children and chaos swirled around him.
"I'm right here, what is going-" Meredith practically sprinted to the kitchen but stopped abruptly when she saw the mess of her kitchen.
"Ollie won't leave Maisie alone, Cora spilled her cereal all over her outfit and Charlie here won't let go of my leg." Derek explain as he packed the kid's lunches.
"Mama, it's my line leader day and my clothes are wet!" Cora whined as her bottom lip puffed out and tears threatened to spill.
"Oh baby, come here. Mommy will find a new outfit." Meredith opened her arms to her daughter as her youngest daughter began to whine.
"Oliver, please stop messing with Mae!" Derek scolded.
"She's eating her food all gross and it's nasty!" Oliver poked the baby's plate causing her to cry out.
"Ollie!" Meredith raised her voice. "Mess with your sister again and you won't be going to the birthday party tomorrow."
Oliver huffed and slumped back to his seat. Derek looked up at Meredith with Charlie in his arms. "Why do they listen to you but not me?" He asked.
"I guess it's just the Medusa thing." Meredith smirked as Cora tugged on her shirt. "I'm going to go find a new outfit for this little munchkin."
Derek walked towards Meredith and leaned down to drop a kiss to her lips. "Do you know if Rosie is up yet?"
"Mama, I need to change." Cora said as she tugged on Meredith's shirt once again.
"She's up, she's been up since 5. She's been studying for that psych test." Meredith chuckled as she absentmindedly wiped some syrup from Charlie's lip.
"Mama, my clothes!" Cora stomped her foot.
"Okay, okay, relax… we're going!" Meredith grabbed her daughter's tiny hand.
Cora practically dragged Meredith up the stairs and into her room, her pig tails wagging as she skipped up the staircase. Cora was definitely the bossy one out of the bunch. She yanked open her closet door and began to pull down anything she could reach.
"Hey, hey, hey stop pulling down random clothes." Meredith halted her daughter's movements. "What about this?" She held out a light purple top.
"I don't think so," Cora bit her lip in hesitation.
"You don't think so, darling?" Meredith chuckled.
"Maybe something pink." The little girl smiled widely.
"Alright," Meredith fished through the clothes, "Here's a pink shirt."
"Yes!I like that one lots." Cora grabbed the shirt from her mother's hand.
"Okay, can you handle changing on your own? I'm going to go help daddy." Meredith bent down and stroked her daughter's petal soft cheek.
Cora, unlike her siblings, took after Meredith a lot more than Derek. Her hair sandy blonde hair and emerald green eyes were almost identical to her mother's. She certainly got her mother's stubborn attitude.
"Yeah, I can do it a'by myself." Cora nodded.
"That's my big girl." Meredith crooned and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
Meredith walked out of Cora's bedroom and made her way down the steps. "Mom! I have to ask you and dad something." Rosie barged out of her room with her book bag slung around her shoulder.
Meredith sighed, "Why don't you come downstair and we'll talk about it?"
"Okay." Rosie cleared her throat and began walking alongside Meredith.
"Why are you acting weird? What do you want to ask us?" Meredith asked.
"I'm not. I'm not acting weird. I just have something to ask you. And dad. It's not weird it's just a question." Rosie rambled and fidgeted with her hands.
"You know you sound an awful lot like me when you ramble on and on like that." Meredith chuckled as they entered the kitchen.
"Rambling? You two are the queens of rambling." Derek chuckled as the two entered the kitchen.
"Well, Rosie has something to ask us." Meredith walked over to Derek and kissed his cheek. He sat at the kitchen table feeding Maisie, or attempting to feed her.
"What is that?" Derek asked, his eyes trained on Maisie as she chewed.
"So before anything, just remember how much of a good kid I am, okay?" Rosie started.
"You're not a good kid, you're mean!" Charlie shouted as he sat on the floor playing with his action figures.
"Shut up, Charlie. I'm trying to talk." Rosie dismissed her little brother.
"Hey, no 'shut ups' in this house." Meredith scolded. "And Charlie, honey, leave your sister alone."
"Anyway, just remember my grades and volleyball and all that." Rosie sighed. "Ashley and Bridgette are going to spring break and the asked m could go. We've already planned the rides down there and I have my own money saved up in my bank account. All you guys would have to do is say yes."
"No. Absolutely not." Derek shook his head.
"What?!" Rosie shouted. "You didn't even think about it. Mom!"
"No, Rosie, do you know what goes on down there?" Derek stood from the table and walked to the kitchen. Meredith took his spot and began wiping Maisie up.
"I'm not stupid! I'm not going to be doing that stuff. You know me, daddy!" Rosie protested.
"I do know you, but there are people that don't know you. There are boys that are wild and they don't care anything but sex and alcohol." Derek's voice was stern and unnerving.
"I'm not going to be having sex." Rosie rolled her eyes. "Mom, please say something that makes sense!"
"Rosie, I don't know what you want me to say. I know you want to have fun and go out with your friends but Florida? That's like across the country and you're only seventeen." Meredith explained, pulling Maisie to her lap.
"I'll be eighteen in like four months. And spring break is like a month away." Rosie leaned against the wall and crossed her arms.
"I don't like the thought of you at a beach partying all week." Derek huffed.
"How about you eat some breakfast and we'll talk about it later." Meredith pushed the box of cereal towards Rosie.
"I'm not hungry." She muttered with her eyes glue to the floor.
"Don't start pouting. Don't even." Derek's jaw clenched in frustration.
"I'm just not hungry, okay?!" Rosie's eyes snapped up at her father's. Her light blue eyes clashed with Derek's indigo ones.
"Okay, okay, Rosie you need to eat something before school." Meredith looked at her oldest daughter and attempted to smile at her.
Rosie silently trudged to the pantry and pulled out a protein bar. "I have to be at school early today. Ashley and I have a psych project we have to work on." Rosie muttered as she walked towards the doorway.
"Rosie!" Derek shouted.
"Derek, let me talk to her." Meredith shot a glare at him before leaving the kitchen with the baby in her arms.
"Rosie, hold on for a minute." Meredith caught Rosie just before walking out of the door.
"Look, I already know the answer. I'm not going. I'l just stay at home while all my friends are out having fun. It's fine." Rosie muttered, shoving the bar in her mouth.
"The answer's not no, okay? And you need to quit it with that smart ass attitude. I'll talk to daddy about it later." Meredith adjusted Maisie on her hip.
"Do you think he'll change his mind?" Rosie's voice was hopeful.
"I don't know. The answer isn't yes and the answer isn't no." Meredith sighed. "I'll talk to you tonight, okay?"
"Mommy, I did it all by myself!" Cora made her way down the stairs.
"Wow, you look so pretty, Cora." Meredith smiled.
"Rosie, do you like my shirt?" Cora pounded down the stairs and hugged Rosie. "It's pink like my favorite color!"
"I do like it!" Rosie picked her little sister up. "You're going to look so beautiful for spring pictures!"
"Okay, sweet heart, go on and finish your breakfast." Meredith added.
"M'kay, bye Rosie." Cora wiggled out of Rosie's arms.
"Bye Cora." Rosie smiled as Cora ran to the kitchen.
"Thanks for talking to dad, I mean please try to convince him," Rosie half smiled, reminding Meredith of herself, "Bye Maisie." She leaned down and kissed her sister's head. "Bye mom."
"I love you." Meredith said in a sing song voice.
"I love you too, freak." Rosie chuckled.
Meredith laughed and watched her walk out the door. "We love Rosie, don't we baby girl?"
"Wosie good sistew." Maisie played with Meredith's hair.
"Rosie is a good sister." Meredith smiled and made her way back to the kitchen.
"What'd she say? Is she throwing a tantrum again?" Derek asked as Meredith walked in the kitchen. His back was facing her as he loaded the dishwasher.
"She's fine." Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Meredith fine or fine?" Derek turned to his wife with a chuckle and leaned against the counter.
"It's not funny." Meredith raised her voice as she helped Cora with her cereal.
"What's not funny? Are you mad at me or something?" Derek's eyebrows knitted in confusion.
"You completely attacked her. She didn't even get a chance. You shot it down immediately." She explained.
"I don't like the idea of our daughter being around drunk and high college kids. I just don't. I'm sorry!" Derek said.
"Is Rosie drunk?" Oliver chimed in, his eyes not leaving the video game he was playing.
"Rosie is not drunk. No one is drunk." Meredith chuckled quietly. "I told her we'd talk more about it later."
"So basically what you meant to say is you're going to try to convince me to let her go." Derek walked closer to Meredith, a playful smirk on his face.
"Basically." Meredith leaned up and kissed him.
"You two are extremely unfair. Teaming up against me is completely unfair." Derek said as he lifted Maisie from her arms.
"Hey, you're outnumbered here." Meredith kissed his lips again, savoring the taste. "What'd you expect?"
"You know what, when Ollie is old enough, he's going to every party every night and his curfew will be 4 am!" Derek joked, cradling Maisie's head on his shoulder.
"Parties?" Oliver lifted his head from his game, "I'm going to parties."
"No, there are no parties for you until Friday." Meredith ruffled Oliver's hair. "Go put your sister's and yours dish in the sink please."
"Ugh…" Oliver groaned as he sat up from the table. "Give me your bowl Cora."
"I'm not done!" Cora slurped the milk from her spoon.
"I don't care, Mom told me to put it away so give it to me." Oliver reached for the bowl.
"Yeah, Cora, listen to Ollie!" Charlie chimed in.
"No, you guys are being mean to me!" Cora yanked on the bowl too. Before Meredith or Derek could intervene, the bowl flew threw the air and onto the floor. The wooden floor was covered in milk and cereal.
"And the day begins…" Meredith groaned she she reached for the paper towels.
"Daddy, Maisie won't stop pulling my hair!" Cora shouted as she pushed the baby's hands away.
"I not!" Maisie shouted back.
"Please stop shouting." Meredith groaned as she felt a migraine coming on.
"Stop being such a tattle tale, Cora." Charlie snickered as he played with his Hot Wheels car.
"It's not your business! How about I pull your hair?" Cora turned around in her booster seat.
"I bet you won't!" He smirked.
"I'm gonna come back there and pull your-" She reached towards Charlie.
"Cora, sit straight!" Meredith turned around and gave her the 'mommy eye'. "Charlie stop messing with your sister. And Maisie, baby, stop pulling your sister's hair."
"I didn't do anything!" Cora shouted at Meredith and crossed her arms.
"Yeah, you did!" Oliver added.
"I did not!"
"Okay, everyone stop!" Meredith huffed. "No talking until we get to school, alright?"
"But-" Cora began.
"No buts. No more talking until all of you learn to speak to each other without shouting." Derek said as he stopped at a red light.
Meredith closed her eyes and rested her head against the head rest. It felt like there was an elephant marching around in her head.
"Hey, you feeling okay?" Derek asked as he reached for her hand.
"Hm?" Meredith opened her eyes. "Yeah, I just have this massive head ache."
Derek's thumb circled around the top of Meredith's hand. The slightest touch of Derek's hand on hers was soothing enough for her to fall asleep in that car.
"Kinda hard to not get a head ache with them." Derek smiled. "I feel like we never stop having head aches."
"I should be used to the head aches by now." Meredith giggled. "There's something weird about today."
"What do you mean?" Derek asked.
"Like something is going to happen."
"You have a feeling?" He began to worry. The last time she had a feeling she was almost blown to pieces.
"I don't think it's anything bad." Meredith mused. "Just weird."
He sighed, "Well, if you feel weird, I could use some help with a surgery."
"You could use help?" Meredith smiled.
"I could use your help. I can't deal with these interns or even the residents. Plus you look so cute in that purple scrub cap." Derek smirked a flirtatious grin.
"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer." Her heart fluttered as he lifted her hand to his lips. Even after years and years of marriage, Meredith swooned every time he kissed her…or even looked at her.
"No eye sex this time though."
"Me?!" Meredith exclaimed. "You're the one with the eye sex!"
"I beg to differ. I distinctly remember you grinding up behind me during our last surgery."
"Grinding?! I was standing next to you to observe!" She said.
"Fine, you win." Derek chuckled. "I guess I just can't be around you without thinking porny things."
"You're such a teenage boy." Meredith playfully tapped him on the shoulder.
"I can't help it!" Derek parked the car in front of the elementary school.
"Alright kiddos, time to unload." Meredith said as she hopped out of the car.
"Mommy!" Cora gasped as Meredith opened the door. "We forgot to bring my ballet bag!"
"Oh no," Meredith feigned concern, "We did not forget them, I have it in the trunk."
"Whew, thanks mommy." Cora hopped out of the car.
"You know I'd never forget my little ballerina's bag." Meredith lifted Cora in her arms. "I'll pick you up after school and take you to ballet."
"Mommy, who's going to take us home?" Oliver asked as he jumped out of the car.
"Rosie is going to pick you and Charlie up and take you to daycare." Derek explained as he kneeled down and fixed Charlie's hair.
"Why can't we go home with Rosie?" Charlie asked.
"Because Rosie has volleyball practice after." Meredith explained. "Okay, off you guys go. Give me kisses."
The three kids took turns and kissed their parents goodbye before running and catching up with their friends. Meredith leaned against the car and watched her kids walk into the building.
"What? I know that look. That's the 'I want more babies' look." Derek moved and stood in front of Meredith.
"It's not…" She sighed. "They're getting so big. Next minute they're all going to be in college."
"Mer," He chuckled and placed on hand on her shoulder and the other on her neck, "Cora is in pre school. I think we have some time before they're off to college."
"What are we going to-" Meredith began.
"Mama! Mama, mama! Out!" Maisie wiggled in her car seat, attempting to unbuckled herself.
"See? We still have this little munchkin on our hands." Derek kissed her lips quickly before jumping in the car.
"I have a craniotomy at noon in OR 1. You want to get lunched after that?" Derek asked as they walked into the hospital.
"Yeah, that sounds good." Meredith adjusted Maisie in her arms.
"Maybe we can e this little one after." Derek caressed his daughter's cheek.
"Meredith! Mer!" Alex came running towards them just before they walked into the elevator.
"Alex, calm down." She chuckled. "What's going on?"
"Um, we need you down in the ER." Alex said nervously.
"Okay?" Meredith's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "I'm just going to drop Maisie off at daycare."
"We need you now." Alex interrupted.
"Karev, is there a pile up or something?" Derek asked.
"No, we just need Mer."
Meredith turned to Derek with a confused look on her face. She could see the confusion on Derek's face too.
"Could you take her down?" Meredith asked as she hand Derek the baby.
"Of course," He took Maisie into his arms, "I'll see you at noon."
"Love you." Derek leaned up and kissed his cheek. "And I'll see you later, sweetheart." Meredith kissed her daughter's cheek.
"Mer," Alex cleared his throat.
"Okay, okay, I'm going." Meredith said as she began to walk away.
"What is going on? Hm?" Derek lifted Maisie up in the air, eliciting a giggle from the baby.
"Dada!" Maisie giggled.
"You're adorable." Derek chuckled and shook his head.
"Alex, what the hell? You know I always take Maisie to daycare." Meredith struggled to keep up with Alex's pace.
"Sorry, he just won't leave without seeing you." Alex grumbled as they neared the ER.
"Who is he?" Meredith asked, her mind going a million miles per hour.
Alex remained silent as they walked into the ER. To Meredith's surprise, the ER was completely calm. There was no rush, no bleeding or dying patients.
"Alex! What is going on?" Meredith asked as Alex stood in front of one of the trauma rooms.
"Josh is here." Alex stated.
Meredith's blood ran still and she swore her heart stopped. "Josh?" She choked out.
"He's being difficult and he said he wouldn't leave without seeing you to make sure you're okay." Alex explained.
"To make sure I'm okay?" She scoffed. "What is he doing in Seattle?" She asked herself.
"He'll explain it all. If you need me I'll be in the ER all day." Alex began to walk away.
"Wait," She grabbed his arm, "Derek doesn't need to know he's here…"
"Of course, Mer." Alex gave her a crooked grin before walking away.
Meredith took a deep breath before walking into the room. She hadn't seen Josh in 17 years, since Rosie was born. Josh had been a great friend all those years ago. He had taken care of her, looked after her and taken care of Rosie…when Derek wasn't.
"Josh?" Meredith walked into the room with a hesitant smile on her face.
"Mer…" Josh stood straighter, fixing his tie. "Wow, you look…great."
"Come here." Meredith smiled and pulled him into a hug.
Josh felt the same. He even smelled the same. She remembered his smell even from all those years ago. That scent had once comforted her when everything in her life was in shambles.
"How are you?" Josh asked as he pulled away.
"I'm fine," She giggled, "I'm not the one in an ER. What are you doing here? Boston is pretty far from Seattle."
"I'm here for business. And I was moving around in my apartment and I snagged my arm on a nail. It's a nasty cut but that Dr. Karev cleaned it. Is he that Alex you were always talking about?" Josh explained, his warm brown eyes sparkling as his toothy grin flashed at Meredith.
"Yeah that's him." Meredith laughed. She began to twist her wedding ring around her finger.
"So, you're married now." He said, the tone of his voice seemed disappointed.
"Yeah, four little ones and Rosie."
"How is she? She's gotta be a senior now." Josh said.
"Yeah, she actually just dropped the bomb about spring break on us this morning." Meredith leaned against the wall.
"Oh god, you got to keep an eye in her. If she looks anything like you, you better keep those guys away." Josh smiled.
Meredith felt her face blush as she looked down. "She's a really good kid. She's captain of her volleyball team and she's on student senate… she's the whole package."
"You and your husband must be proud." He hinted towards the idea off her husband.
"Yeah, Derek and I are really proud." Meredith cleared her throat.
"You married him, Meredith?" Josh asked, his voice sounding like she had done something wrong. "He treated you like shit. You were miserable without him, you deserve better."
"Josh, he's totally different now. Honestly, everything was totally different 17 years ago. He's completely redeemed himself… and I wasn't all that innocent."
"Do you remember how you felt? How sad you were?" Josh asked.
"I don't really like to think about that. That wasn't a good time for anyone."
"You're right." Josh shook his head. "I'm not here to bring up the past."
"I don't want to be rude, but what are you doing here?"
"Well for business, but then I remembered you worked at Seattle Grace, but then it was a bit difficult finding this place. It's Grey Sloan now, so I kind of made a connection." He chuckled.
"Yeah, that's me." Meredith smiled. "Listen I want to catch up but I really can't right now. Here, give me your phone and I'll put my number in. Maybe we would meet for lunch sometime. I can tell you all about Rosie."
"I'd love to hear about her." Josh handed her his phone.
There was a comfortable silence as Meredith put her number in. "But really, things are totally different now. I'm happy. Like really happy."
"That's good, I just… I want you happy." Josh said honestly. "Well, I'll let you do your whole doctor thing now."
"We should do lunch soon. Whenever I have free time, five kids is quite the circus." Meredith giggled.
"God, you have five kids." Josh shook his head. "Well, I'll see you around, Mer."
Meredith felt off the rest of the morning. Josh had always been a good friend, more than a good friend. He was her safety net all those years ago when Meredith felt like she had nothing to live for. Josh had been there to fulfill those midnight craving. He had been their to set up a crib. He was there to take her baby shopping.
But even with all that distraction, Meredith couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness without Derek. When Meredith found about Addison and Derek, she was pregnant, young, terrified and in love. But Meredith knew she couldn't be an obligation and she couldn't be a home wrecker. She couldn't be the girl that ruined Derek's marriage. She could not be a home wrecker.
So, she ignored her better judgement, left for Boston. The loneliness was even worse when she learned that she was pregnant. Meredith knew Derek would want to know and he would be a great father. Before Meredith left, she wrote him a letter but somehow Derek never got it.
"That went amazing.." Derek sighed as he and Meredith walked out of the OR.
"I guess we still got it in us, huh?" Meredith murmured as she worked the knots out in her neck.
"Hey," Derek turned to her as they both scrubbed out, "You okay? You seem off."
"Y-yeah," She cleared her throat "I'm fine."
"Meredith, you have to realize that after 15 years of marriage I know everything about you." Derek chuckled as he leaned against the sink.
"It's nothing," She smiled up at him, "Honestly, it's not that big of a deal."
"It's a big deal if you're acting weird." Derek dried his hands off. "C'mon, tell me."
"Okay," Meredith obliged and held his shoulders, her arms creeping up around his neck, "You can't get mad. It's not my fault."
"Okay, I won't get mad." Derek's hands settled on her waist. "I promise."
Meredith sighed as she felt Derek's steady breathing. "Josh is here." She felt his body stiffen and his steady breathing stalled.
After a moment of silence, "Why is he here?" His voice was almost as dark as his eyes.
"He's here for business." Meredith murmured. Derek's arms dropped from her waist. "Derek, don't get upset about this. Please."
"Don't get upset about this? Mer, this guy brings up a lot of things I don't want to remember."
"Hey," Meredith held his face in her hands, "That's all in the past. We've forgiven each other."
"Why is he at the hospital though?" Derek ignored her comment.
"He did something to his shoulder, it doesn't matter." She said, letting her arms go, beginning to feel frustrated.
"It obviously does matter." Derek grumbled. "Did you mention me? Did he ask about Rosie?"
"He did. He just, he worries-"
"He worries? What the hell does he have to worry about?" Derek spat.
"Well, the last time he saw me, I had a lot to worry about." She crossed her arms.
"Really? Are we back to this?"
"I guess we are, you're the one getting pissed at me about him." Meredith responded.
"How would you feel if a girl I slept with cam back?" Derek asked.
"You know I never slept him. I never did." She raised her voice.
"I don't want Rosie to see him. Or even know about him."
"Why? He took care of me when I was pregnant!"
"Why do you have to do that? Bring that up and throw it in my face?" Derek's voice began to match the volume of hers.
"Rub it in your face? I was sick and I was pregnant, okay?"
"For the millionth time, I didn't find out. I never got your letter." Derek defended.
"That's not the point! He is a good guy, Derek. He never did anything bad to me or Rosie-"
"But I did, huh?" He interrupted
"I never said that!" She exclaimed. "Stop putting words in my mouth!"
"Meredith, I can't talk about this right now." Derek pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't want Rosie to meet him. Whatever you do, I don't care."
"Derek, please, can we please not fight about this?" Meredith pleaded.
He sighed once again, "What do you expect? This guy comes back, asks about you and Rosie and what? Did he leave? Or what?"
"I don't know how long he's here." Meredith lied.
"It doesn't matter. Just don't bring it up to Rosie." Derek moved to the door.
"Stop." Meredith grabbed his arm. "You know, this isn't fun for me either. Do you think I like remembering that? I hate that I remember how I felt."
Derek dropped his head in shame. If he could take one thing back, he would take away his absence in that time in a heart beat. His heart froze over thinking how Meredith had to take care of herself. And that another man took care of er. He hated that he missed Meredith's pregnancy. He hated that he missed those morning sicknesses, the ultra sounds, the baby shopping… he missed it all.
"I know," Derek murmured, "I'm sorry, I just.. i get really angry when I think about him. I don't know why, he was great to you and he took care of you… but that should've been me."
"Hey," Meredith grabbed his hand. "You were there those four other times."
"And I hate lying to Rosie."
"It's not necessarily lying, it's just brushing over it." Meredith chuckled darkly.
"I love you, you know that?" Derek stated.
"I know, I love you too." She pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you so much."
Derek's head dropped to the crook of her neck. He inhaled her familiar lavender scent. She smelled homey. She smelled like everything that comforted him.
"Can we get some lunch?" Meredith pulled back, blinking tears away. "Because I'm starving."
Derek caressed her cheek and gave her a sad smile, "Of course."
He leaned down and dropped his lips to her. Her lips were warm, a contrast to his. She felt his hands creep around her waist again and she smiled against his lips.
"C'mon," She pulled away with a smirk, "Let's eat."
If you guys are a bit confused about what's going on, everything will be explained in the coming chapters. Basically, Meredith left Seattle 17 years ago when she found out she was pregnant, moved to Boston and met this guy, Josh. And so he took care of her and yada yada yada, you'll find the juicy details later on. But a disclaimer, this story is definitely, 100% MERDER! It's not gonna be about Meredith and Josh but more of flashbacks of them, but Meredith and Derek will always be endgame.
Thanks so much for reading, let me know how you feel!